Limerick Poems About Water | Water Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Terry O'Leary |
Categories: america, society,

Lotsa Limericks - It Couldn't be Verse

		1Big Brother
Big Brother's protecting his mice
with a secret eavesdropping device.
          If you hang up the phone
          he'll just send in a drone
when a warrant won't really suffice.

		2Neutrality
The internet's meant to be free,
yes for all, such as you, such as me.
          But now there's some doubt -
          will it lose all its clout
with the death of neutrality's spree?

		3Privacy
'twas surely our forefather's dread
all our emails would someday be read.
	Now that push comes to shove
	by the powers above,
private thoughts must now stay in our head.

		4Guantanamo 
Guantanamo bay's a resort
where the fishing's a fabulous sport -
	with your back on a board
	tepid water is poured
spawning tales for a kangaroo court.

		5Banks
To bountiful bailouts give thanks
for there's nothing much richer than banks -
	making money galore
	taking homes from the poor
while they're managing mortgaging pranks.

		6Health
If you live in the States don't get sick
(lest a cut of the upper class clique).
	Whether injured or ill
	all they'll give you's a pill -
if you're lucky you'll surely die quick.

		7Economy
Our economy's doing just fine
lying dead with a slug in the spine.
	So come follow the call
	where there's money for all
and pure profit's the bottom-most line.

		8Safety
Vigilantes and cops are wide spread -  
as for justice… not even a shred.
	The avengers of right
	score when stalking the night 
so beware of a cap in the head.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humorous,

One Mermaid's Lesson

A merman had one stubborn daughter who rebelled against what her dad taught her. When she swam to dry land, she could then understand she was just like a fish - out of water! For the Out of Water Poetry Contest of Sheri Fresonke Harper


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: birth, body, humorous,

FLOOD WARNING COLLABORATION - INSPIRED BY CONTEST

I crossed my legs but there was a flood Blushing red I hope folks understood But my waters had burst And the baby's my first Guess I'm ready to start motherhood! NOT FOR CONTEST WRITTEN on 27TH August 2016 BY JAN ALLISON My babe arrived as hungry as a horse As a good mother, I fed him, of course When my breasts began to fill Another flood was about to spill Until my child suckled with great force. WRITTEN ON 08/27/16 BY LIN LANE The first twelve months went mighty quick Time flying by lickity split Crawls out of bed Sits on mom's head A young fireman squirting his stick WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY TIM SMITH Hay, thought I heard another sound of thunder roar Eeh gad, seems to be another two babies more They all have lots of hair Mother-in-law beware Now I am having triplets let me out the door WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY EVE T M C He was born without a suntan And didn’t favor the milk man Birthed on a polar bear rug Full beard on his tiny mug Holding a harpoon like Tarzan! WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER 8/27/2016 Oh my! What will people think? My baby doesn’t favor his dad’s wink I can always claim in shame He favors my grandma’s frame On my mother’s side is large and pink WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER 8/27/2016 One baby after another I sure am a busy mother I cross my knees Whenever I sneeze Out one end or the other! WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE It’s all my darn uterus’s fault, Can’t bring my crying to a halt, No more sex with my hubby, I’m just too tired and chubby, This babe’s an exhausting result! Ice came out sucking a pacifier, Posted sign, “Eskimo nanny for hire!”, But when warm milk is felt, Baby started to melt, Naughty nanny immediately fired! The ice came out with a binky, And a diaper pretty stinky! Eskimo baby is she, Could it even be a he? It’s too frozen and all wrinkly! ALL WRITTEN BY LAURA LOO One by one they came out, midwife slapped 'em and into the cradle she packed 'em father blew candle out and exclaimed with a shout " Just like moths, it's the light that attracts 'em!" WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY Making babies was so much fun Now my boobies reach to my tum I can't even sneeze or cough It set's my weak bladder off.. I'd better stick to coke and rum WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS AWARDED POEM OF THE WEEK ON 28TH AUGUST - THE HONOUR IS SHARED BY US ALL.SPECIAL THANKS TO LIN LANE FOR STARTING THE COLLABORATION I'm feeling like a slot machine My wheels stopped on three tangerines Babies falling like rain It's no longer a strain That last one looks just like my spleen WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER I thought I was going to have two But now I don't even have a clue It feels like maybe four I can't take it no more I have five months to go til I'm due WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y I was rushed to the hospital gate not yet due, but I just couldn't wait labor's water broke through elevator broke too flooded stairwells to room did create! WRITTEN BY SANDRA HAIGHT


Poem Details | by Linda-Marie SweetHeart |
Categories: adventure, fish,

Fishing Adventure

"Fishing Adventure" fishing is a sport of supreme relaxation beneath golden Sun with great anticipation while warm water is quiet fish feast on worm diet as the boat gently sways in utter fascination. soon the fishing pole jerks on thin line a sweet catch on which two hearts will dine once a struggle ensues other fish sing the blues top things off with a bottle of wine. surprise this fish was a white shark sea beast run for your life, no fish feast jaws revisited blue wave adventure in a cold cave lived to tell this tale of terror, at least. *For Seren Robert's Fisherman Contest. *Dec1, 2012


Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: funny

Hot Jalapenos

Eating jalapenos, boy did I sing
Mouth was on fire so was my ring
Burnt going in one way 
And out the in the same day
Which end do I cool first in the gushing water spring


Poem Details | by Eve Roper |
Categories: fun,

A Tribute to a Major Appliance Dishwasher

I'm an Ultra Quiet with a whir
Frigidaire 24” Built-In White Dishwasher
Energy saver 
With hot and cold stir
Oh yes they do make a dishwasher

I’m getting so old they just don't know
They think I can do the job like a pro
Baskets are crumbling
Rust on everything
I'm ready to blow and overflow

Naive people believe what labels sell
They use a lemon scent liquid gel
States; “No" pre-washing
Leaves dishes sparkling 
All lies, it makes the dishes look like hell

They have hard water in their home
So the liquid soap makes no foam
Barnacles have formed
Heating elements deformed
I'm tired of their complaints when they get home

I'm an Ultra Quiet with a snore
Frigidaire 24” Built-In White Dishwasher
Energy saver 
No, not any more
Oh yes, they do need a new dishwasher

9/22/2015

Contest Name: A Tribute to a Major Appliance 
Sponsor: Mary Oliver Rotman 


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funnysister, sister,

We're Having Nun of That

Two Nuns travel through Europe by car
Guided by the heavens North Star
Transylvania they reach
Hymn singing they preach
Not realizing they have come so far

At a busy junction they now stop
The red light is about to colour swap
Then out of the night
A most scaring sight
Onto their bonnet Dracula did drop

Sister Francine to Sister Helen said
On with the wipers, off with his head
Darn, that never worked
On this darkly toothed berk
He's hanging on, foot down, of they sped

What shall I do, Sister Francine says
Sister Helen shouts, window wiper spray
At the Vatican I filled
It's heavenly chilled
This time he's sure to go away

The Holy Water now having been yield
Has the demons fate now been sealed
To rid of this dross
Please show him your cross
Get the **** off the windshield!




~*~ This piece has been turned into a Limerick from a joke doing the rounds ~*~


Poem Details | by Joe Inca |
Categories: funnyme,

Horse Shoe Hero

They call me the BBQ slinger
Well known for my back to back ringers
My aim is dead true
When I'm tossin' them shoes
I could wrap round' a bumble bee stinger.

My skill with the iron's well known
These rookies all covet my throne
I'm the king of the pit
They best deal with it
Cause these beers put me right in the zone

I'll conquer till' no one remains
And brag of ice water filled veins
Not even a test
to prove I'm the best
And poised to continue my reign.


Poem Details | by Caryl Muzzey |
Categories: nature,

Fishing Woes

Bass fishing on nearby creek 
trying new rod I bought this week.
Got plenty of lures
that really ensures
a big catch if I don’t need to leak.

Creek waters are moving real fast
I’m not sure my bladder will last.
Got lure on the line
it’s reeling just fine
but deep water I failed to cast.

In an anxious and manly haste
a true cast I timely displaced.
Latched on to a nest
where hornets did rest
full bladder no longer encased.

Copyright © 2011  By Caryl SMuzzey

Fifth Place Winner ~ "Contest Limericks About Fishing” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: John Freeman
May 27, 2011


Poem Details | by Eve Roper |
Categories: fishing, fun, sports,

Big Fish For Contest

Big Fish With my rod and reel I baited my hook Waded into the water and part took Cast my line, got a bite Found myself in a fight Nessie had taken my hook for a look 12/25/2015 Poetry Contest: LIMERICK CONTEST - PLEASE NOTE THE RULE RE TITLE PLEASE AND NEW POEMS ONLY - Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON
10 10 7 6 10 http://www.howmanysyllables.com/wordprocessor


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Call the Midwife

T’was her ninth month and early summer,
My wife said she’d heard nothing dumber,
After she had spoken,
Her water had broken...
And me ringing up for a plumber.


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: angel, animal, baptism, beauty,

A Thong for Tom

Hey Girls have you've dated someone For in his pocket he says he's a gun He says this or that It's girth is so fat It appears his ego is so under won But I have heard of another Guy In the shower he's so kinda shy When the water hits he He turns to a she Nothing left for the girls to espy Now having found this guy called Tom His bragging, mm ain't so strong He appears so thick Deluded party prick Stuffed tissues found in his thong .


Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: happinesslove,

Abide of Love tide

Enticed of love’s glove on sandy beach
Enhanced of love two lover’s beseech
~Sand between the toes
~Graceful love thus glows
Love’s advice in the wind…they seek each!
jt76901

As ripple tide to the moon has not lied
By two lover's bide, two soul wills confide 
~Amidst suds of salt 
~Soul loves finds not fault
Like water the bride flows in the groom’s pride
jt76945

From beginning dawn of celestial blue
True love’s marriage, clever, is never through
~Two lover’s sweet stroll
~Twilight’s blue is gold
Love’s current, no deterrent, pitching woo 
Jt76969

Written by John Moses Freeman
For and in honor of Linda Marie
And contest:  


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: career, funny,

Bad Breath Blues - The Boss Is Always Right

You’ve forgotten to floss, I think
(My nose frets and frowns as I shrink)
Purchase mints by the bag!
Brush your tongue til you gag!
(My eyes water up at the stink)

"Yes sir, I am really quite fine!
"Allergies, you know," is my line
"No sir, wasn't crying!"
(My brain is just frying)
"Do lunch? Why, the pleasure is mine!"

*Unfortunately, this is a somewhat exaggerated version of a true story...


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

WET DREAMS - FOR CONTEST

An incontinent man from Thottle Slept with his hot water bottle It burst in the night His wife got a fright She said next time do use your pottle 05~03~15 Quotation used:- Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwardsBenjamin Franklin Contest: Dumb and Dumber Quotes - Sponsor John Freeman


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: funny,

Naughty Words



Never test the water with BOTH your feet To determine the temperature or if it's deep One pinky at a time For testing the brine It's over my head, words I screamed I had to bleep © Jack Ellison 2016


Poem Details | by Rick Parise |
Categories: funny, humorous,

Late For Work- Forgot To Spring Forward


There once was a gent named Springtime Ned Who on that March morning sprang from his bed In amazement and shock He forgot to set his clock Now with his boss on thin water he'll tread


Poem Details | by Brigitte Pace |
Categories: adventure, children, dog, for

A beach within my reach

I am a basset hound and I love to play
I can run and jump all day
I really love magic and tricks
I also love chocolate bics
Yummy! They are so good 
I would eat a packet a day if I could
My name is Lady and here is a story all about me
I'm a funny looking dog you see:


Lady was home alone
All she had was her green plastic bone
Her owners had gone out for the day
And Lady really wanted   to play
Miserable, she lay on the ground with her long floppy ears
With watery eyes, it seemed as though she was about to burst into tears
Suddenly she perked up when she heard a squeaking sound coming from the house
Lady became excited, she hoped it was a mouse
She barked out loud and ran towards the sound
Lady was such a clever basset hound
With her long nose, she sniffed out the little mouse in his hiding place
The whole morning turned into a playful ‘dog and mouse’ chase!
The mouse was too fast for her and escaped through a small crack in the wall
He was terrified of this funny looking dog who stood two feet tall
Exhausted, Lady flopped down in her basket to rest
She had tried her very, very best
She closed her eyes and had a long nap
And dreamt that she managed to squeeze through the scary dog flap
When Lady woke up, her throat felt dry
She needed a gallon of water to drink and she alone knew why!
The sun was shining and it was hot
She found her bowl and gulped down the lot
Lady looked at the new dog flap
She lifted up one of her paws and gave it a sharp tap
She took a chance and pushed herself through the gap
Relief flooded through her, she had made it out of the flap
Out in the sun
It was time for more fun
Lady headed to the beach
It wasn’t far, within her reach
Calm blue sea with the tiniest of waves
Grottos and amazing caves
Lady’s paw marks were all over the sand
She loved to play by the sea and on land
Cool air blew around her as she splashed around in the sea
What a great feeling it was to be free!
The aroma of food was all around
She was always hungry, this hilarious hound
An ice-cream van was parked nearby
Lady drooled and just stood by
A young couple spotted the little dog sitting down on her own
Her sad brown eyes caught their attention, they each bought her a cone
Lady wished that she could shout
She clenched both cones in her mouth
She licked off the chocolate ice-cream and wolfed down the rest


Poem Details | by Gbenga Onalaja |
Categories: funny, life, satireepic,

THE SLOTH

His life is an Epic story in a tragic playlet 
He is the one person who opens wares an hour after the market 
He comes to town a day after the fair 
Running back home with the aim of catching a wild breed Hare

He "holds hard" after the shot has left the gun 
He locks the stable after the herd is all gone 
He won't die, though he is of no use alive 
His life, like that of a typical dreamer who carries water in a sieve 

He is MrEverything married to MrsNothing 
They are born to rest and they are living to sleep 
Both of them, a typical breed of StJudas
They cover their well after their children are drowned and left in the deep

They are always busy ploughing the air when their field is waist high in weed
Busy! They are at the old farm 
Bringing up buckets of water
After the last pillar of thier house is burnt down 
Still, they realize not that they are a living corpse.


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: philosophy, political,

the political spectrum

Some folks love doing their thing
And it brings in money and bling!
Just let me make hay
The conservatives say
Even when it gives others a sting

Do people all have basic rights?
Are some blown away like lost kites?
It seems there’s no end
Of a bad mess to mend 
And liberals take on these fights


Author's Note: When the right to make a ton of bucks interferes with other rights that people have--watch out I get particularly offended by people who exercise their freedom (and by doing so) interfere with my right to clean air and water and freedom from intrusive smells and noise This argument can be extended to a variety of situations Where do your rights end and mine begin?  This is the tip of a massive iceberg (which could be melting due to global warming).


Poem Details | by sherif goda |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, nature,

Natural Beauty

The nature surrounds us everywhere
In deep running water or high flying air
So we need not to complain
We have to forget our pain
Let's look at natural beauty and stare


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous, poets,

Poetic Gus

Gus sipped a few brews and went on a spree,

   And in public piddled on a prized tree.

      When the cops nabbed him that day,

         Poet Gus had this to say:

            "Where'er you be, let your water flow free!"

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, nature,

Now this is real pressure

Doctors spread this message about
Drink gallons of water they tout
To soften this dose
Know where bathrooms are close
Since what's in must often come out!


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous,

The Town Drunk

The town drunk felt a dire need to wee-wee!

     In the park he found a sycamore tree.

          As the cops led him away,

               The old souse was heard to say,

                    "Where e'er you be, let yer water flow free!" 

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by Shane Cooper |
Categories: humor,

The Shower





There was a pretty girl called Charlene
Who showered all day to stay clean
The hot water ran out
She gave a loud shout
And started swearing like a marine



Poem Details | by Anisha Dutta |
Categories: boat, for kids, funny,

Limerick

    Goat on Boat Contest

                        A goat with white coat took a boat to float.
                         It did not notice a hole in the boat                       
                                      Goat was so stupid.
                                      Water entered rapid.
                         Boat sank down, goat swam swift with wet white coat.

   12/23/15
              Limerick Contest
  Sponsor JAN ALLISON


Poem Details | by Rev. Rebecca Guile Hudson |
Categories: animals, funny, holiday, husband,

Some Limericks...

She’s out there chasing a cricket

Through bush, through shrub & through thicket

Together they hop

Fugitive, cop

But when she gets it, she just wants to lick it!
 

A cat whose vet took his eye

Just cannot quite understand why

His eye’s been enucleated,

3-D vision reduciated,

So now, he keeps an eye out for an eye

 
Ya gotta keep limericks loose

Think green eggs, or perhaps DrSeuss

They’re structured, it’s true,

But they’re also a zoo

Whose tenants are all on the loose!


I frolic in fountains of words

Overflowing with serious absurds

Each poem I write

Wakes up and takes flight

Joining angels and faeries and birds

 
You ask that we write a good limerick

How to do so, I haven’t a glimmerick

So I struggle and frown

Teaching  poems to clown

So a smile on your lips will be shimmerick

 
A cat with a mouth full of mouse

Brought her feast right into my house

She played with her food

Who was not in the mood

To be a banquet of mouse in the house

 
The nightmares that shadow my sleep

Stampede the proverbial sheep

Right out of my mind

When I try to unwind

I find my appointment with sleep hard to keep

 
In her search for original truth

She met people unsavory and couth

She knitted and purled

But only unfurled

Yarns told by new age and old youth

 
Cat, suddenly pink,

Drinks her water from out of the sink

She looks so absurd

Since she’s been de-furred

I really don’t know what to think!

 
If one and one is two and two is four,

And there’s only two ways to go through  a door,

Then, is earth up or down?

And, where is down town?

These are questions we need to explore!

 
A was that is an is

Tried to mind my biz

But I sent it packing,

Its presence was lacking

And I don’t have time for such shiz!


A couple who lived in Los Lunas

Loved the wide desert sky’s crystal blueness

They’d stare at the air,

Over here, over there

And rejoice at the feeling of newness

 
A cat with a very fat gut

Found it easier to walk on his butt

He’d drag it around

Across carpet and ground

And use it to slam the doors shut

 
Said the Missus to her dear MrOtter,

“There’s something I think that you oughta

Do before we get old

To protect us from cold –

You oughta make the hot water hotter!”

 
The ghosts who live up in my attic

Make noises that sound much like static

I’ve tried to send them away,

But they’re here to stay,

Those staticky ghosts in my attic


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: humor,

Unwanted Gaze

At a water slide a man eyed me
He stared at a spot above my knee
   ‘Twas later I learned
   His gaze I had earned
My swimsuit revealed a strange goatee 



*This really happened!  Written April 25, 2015 for Jan’s contest  


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: words,

To Sail Seven Seas

The first water bed Sammy sees he says he is going to seize. He believes on this bed, when he lays down his head, in dreams he will sail seven seas! Posted March 23 for a contest judged March 2016 Now used for The Second Chance #2 Poetry Contest of Broken Wings


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funnybeach, love,

On a Whim, we Swim

Sitting by the beach one summers day
I turned to my girlfriend to say
Shall we go for a swim
It's cold not too grim
Splish splashing in love do we play

Two bodies now exit the cold blue
Only one of us appears to be true
Now shapely and pert
Her body so alert
My desire is now to pursue

To the beach towel she says on the turn
My love you've turned into a worm
The cold water has spoken
At least it's a token
When warmed I'm sure it will squirm










http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-5.php


Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: abuse, corruption, environment, humor,

Fracked

The “Bad Witch of Oz” lost her throne
They weren’t gonna’ leave her alone
… the water was Fracked
… it’s how she got whacked
But … how many others aren’t known!


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Biological Formula

A mathematician once stated to me,
That H-2-O is water you see,
So in a sly whim
I barked back at him
Can you tell me what is K-NINE-P.


Poem Details | by Theresa CW |
Categories: humor, nonsense,

Old and Cranky

Old and Cranky


When I get old and cranky
I'll never phone old Hanky
I will water plants
I won't pee in pants
Cause sometimes get cranky


Written: Nov17, 2015
Theresa W-C


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous,

Solace Behind A Tree

After guzzlin' beer Gus needed to pee.

  He sought solace behind a nearby tree.

     Before the judge he was fined,

        To which Gus gravely opined:

            "Where e'er you be let yer water flow free!"

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: humorous,

Fern Burn

A young lady from Lucerne,
Had a rather lovely green fern,
But when she went on holiday
It lacked regular water spray
And developed a case of sunburn.


Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: love, smile,

She - A Loverick


She walks on water or so it seems She's in my every thought and dream Sweet and kind No better you'll find When she smiles my heart sure beams


Poem Details | by iolanda Scripca |
Categories: funny

Ten Foot Yellow Train

Julia Roberts - The Run Away Bride
Had a dog  Fido - loved water slides 
He lifted his leg
Yellow train - an egg
The bride disappeared hurt in her pride...

Fido's bright smile showed whites of Colgate
When Lady appeared sealing his Fate
Human wedding planned
On a doggies' land
Long Live bride's old Pop and his charge plate!
www.scripca.com


Inspired by Carolyn Devonshire's limerick "Runaway Train"
An outdoor wedding, no sign of rain
The bride’s gown had a 10-foot train
     Crossing the lawn to her bequeathed
     Fido snatched the train in his teeth
And Pop watched eight grand go down the drain


Poem Details | by Rick Parise |
Categories: life, loss,

Nature Calls

A place where gas and flame ignite Mount Vesuvius spews in morning light as I rocked and rolled in a motion uncontrolled hot embers hit the water with fright !! ------------------------------------------------------ A Gift For P.D.


Poem Details | by T.A. Skyles-Theoklapoet |
Categories: daughterwater, water,

CHLOE

 In the water is the mirrored image I see.
 The true beauty is a reflection of me.
 Thoughts that run through my mind are my beliefs that I cannot find
 Like the flowers that float in the water are my memories of Chloe my daughterShe's now an angel taken from me.
 My sweet precious baby Chloe.
                    Teresa Skyles

Entered in Constance La France~A rambling poet~"reflection"contest


Poem Details | by Michael J. Falotico |
Categories: love

Love Around The Ocean

The sand is our playground to run..
The ocean brings waves to meet the sun.
The sky of stars gleam.
Now a stage of dreams.
For our love here has begun.

Your face outlined like a water painting.
My hands trace your heart, oh so granting.
Our eyes connect as one.
Bodies dance on sands undone.
We fall as we are swept away , never fainting.


"LoveLand Limerick" contest jp76969 photo

By Michael JFalotico


Poem Details | by cheryle sanders |
Categories: funny,

Fantasy Vacation

I dream of a fantasy vacation 
At a steamy, exotic location 
I’d pound Monkey's Martini 
In my polka dot bikini 
And sip water for added hydration.


Poem Details | by Demetrios Trifiatis |
Categories: heaven, life, love,

THIRSTY SOUL






                 There was a thirsty soul on the earth plane

                  That never stopped for water to complain 

                           To all places went to search  

                        For her thirst desired to quench, 
 
                Distressed, to heaven soared dew to obtain! 





                          ©    Demetrios Trifiatis
                                 07 November 2015







Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: business,

the root cause

EPA is not the fellow
Who made the Animus yellow
All that toxic waste
For mine profits has laced 
Our bed which becomes a bordello*

Author's note: Please check out what happened to the Animus River in Colorado The first part of the story is that the EPA and its contractors made an error, and a torrent of arsenic, cadmium and lead in millions of gallons of waste water from a closed mine flowed into the river (8/5/15) However, who put all that stuff there in the first place and never cleaned it up?  It was a mining company They extracted gold and ran off with the profits while leaving us with the cleaning bill These are the "externals" The items corporations would rather not have on the balance sheet And now, our river "bed" is all laced for us and we are being....
....* screwed (I would be more blunt but certain curse words are not allowed here) This happens all the time.

Also, if any of this bothers you, check out Bernie Sanders on youtube I came up with a great campaign slogan:  Bernie Sanders doesn't BS you.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: friendship,

Not In Her Genes



Kimberly who lives in the Philippines Fell in love with a handsome marine Got married had a kid Resembled a squid Think sea water was to blame not her genes (All in fun sweet lady) © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Miss Wattle |
Categories: animal, fun,

THE PIG

THE PIG There was an old farmer who raised a fat pig He took it to market in a fine wooden rig He needed to sell it come hell or high water 'Cause he couldn't afford the cost of the fodder He sold that fine rig - what became of the pig? © ELR 2013


Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: death, death, death,

Watery Grave

There once was a fellow called Dwight,
Who thought a water bed was right,
But his house caught on fire,
And the outcome was dire,
When he was poached to death that night*

For Natalie's Fun Death contest

* Based on an old joke, like the man who tried to hang himself with a piece of elastic and bashed his brains out on the ceiling, LOL


Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: faith, religionold, old,

God Said to Noah

God said to old Noah – “No sweat
Gather two of all creatures you’ve met
Cram them all in a boat
And keep it afloat
All others will get mighty wet”

So old Noah he built him a boat
And for 40 days kept it afloat
Though the details are few
It’s the tale of the crew
That makes this of Biblical note

For God had this grandiose plan
And with water he covered this land
When the boat came aground
Wickedness had been drowned
“Cept the family of this righteous man

So what is the moral of the story?
Though the world may be cold and gory
When it’s all said and done
It will be righteous ones
That will bask in God’s greater glory

Mdailey
12/16/07


Poem Details | by Patricia Bernard |
Categories: allusion, anger, love hurts,

You couldn't Be True

I loved you thats a fact
You loved another I know that
You broke my when I saw you out with her
I was pissed I hope you could tell when I told you to got to hell
Now I love another and I know he won't cheat cause he loves me
He thinks I walk on water but he don't know I know where the poles are in the pond






Ubbugginme!

2/7/2015


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: silly,

Dynamite May Be Needed



The lim'ricks are flowing like water o'er a damn Better close the flood gates and sound the alarm Haven't gone poopsies Since a week ago Tuesday Dynamite may be needed but can cause bodily harm © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by john mcgrath |
Categories: adventure

Don,t call him that!


    

Did yer mammy ever say"dont call him or her, that?
whenever ye,v called someone, "dim!"or"a prat!?
Well i called my theiving brother a monkey!an got skelpt!
and told that he was to be considered as a whelp!(a puppy dog)
So now he is out on parole from the local dogs home.
He,s just been detoxing like a fool foaming on the phone.
Help me mammy!was all he cried and barked and pled.
she should have skelpt the monkey then fed him water and bread!