Limerick Poems About Stress | Stress Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Jim Slaughter |
Categories: poetry, poets, writing,

Let There Be Limericks: To all you wannabe poets

To all you wannabe poets
To all you wannabe poets,
Here's a word of advice ere you start:
If you want folks to love it,
Keep your ego out of it.
When you write always write from the heart.

Dressing up a poem
It's great fun to write haiku and sonnets
About rainbows and gay Easter bonnets,
But if you find them too terse,
Try to flesh out your verse,
And festoon it with quatrains and nonets.

Scriptor Interruptus
Poets come, and poets go, and poets coincide.
Some rhyme time and time again, others "free verse" with pride.
But those who let their egos reign
Oft fade and never scribe again.
They succumb to the literary sin of "authorcide".

The pleasure and the pain
Writing is for me both pain and pleasure,
The time I spend with pad and pen I treasure.
I must confess, though,
Sometimes I stress so
When syllables I try to use refuse to measure.


Poem Details | by Linda-Marie SweetHeart |
Categories: funny, birthday, birthday,

Birthday Glee for Debbie G

  "Birthday Glee for Debbie G."


as I peeked at my calendar today
circled in red it said Debbie's Birthday
so off to shopping mall
to buy her a stress ball
she can squeeze, poke or prod everyday!

remember age is just a number, Debbie dear,
you're getting better year after year
don't worry 'bout being older
you're just wiser and bolder
how about a toast with a big keg of beer!

sending you a surprise first class mail
open immediately, without fail,
magic mirror attracts men
reflects a sexy 5 foot - ten
38-22-34 has great appeal!

then there's a love potion for fun
for a gal whose always number one
as you blow out birthday candles
forget about those "love handles"
when the smoke clears just hurry up and run!

one more little gift to ignite
in a woman's world, perfume's a delight
just one little squirt
you become instant flirt
Deb gets "lucky" on her birthday night!

hope these little treats brought you birthday cheer
with a card saying: "wish you were here"
though miles separate
we'll help you celebrate
with a big hug and kiss and tiny tear! 







Poem Details | by Owen Yeates |
Categories: animal, funny, car, me,

The Vet

Heard them say that I’m off to the vet
It’s for my annual booster you bet
He is fetching the lead
Here he comes yes indeed
And into the car I do get

I do not like the car very much
Travel sickness I get just a touch
If they take me to far
I’ll be sick in this car
But I just can’t help it as such

We arrive at the vets safe and sound
I drag slowly for this I have found
It’s a waste of time 
Going to the vets is a crime
I’d rather be back in the pound

Now there putting me on the scale
The nurse says I’m as fat as a whale
This is no fun
I just want to run
But alas I must sit on my tail

At last I’m led into that room
I know that it not for a groom
They lift me on the table
For to climb I’m not able
At last I fear it is doom

The vet has moved round behind
That thermometer looks none to kind
He says it won’t hurt
In a manner that’s curt
Now the thermometer they cannot find

Next it’s the jab in the neck
I could bite him but what the heck
It’s all over now
It’s much worse for a cow
As I leave the surgery I wreck

Then just as I’m off to the door
I hear the vet say one thing more
He needs more exercise
To decrease his size
To hell with that that’s for sure

So back in the car to go home
I feel my mouth starting to foam
Then I’m sick on the floor
Someone open the door
In this car I just hate to roam

Now free of the car I need the loo
The fresh green grass will do
As I open my bowel 
The smell is quite fowl
The thermometers there in my pooh

So home again I will take to my chair
Relax and unwind as is fair
Too much stress for today
Just want to sleep and lay
For the exercise I just do not care

So my trip to the vet I’ve relayed
My owner took me and has paid
So leave me in peace
All wrapped up in my fleece
For my sleep has to long been delayed


Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: humor, travel,

Phil's Gone



On the second  Punxsutawney Phil could not be found
Appears he had abandoned his hole in the ground
But they found a note
He was going by boat
Seems the stress was too much; he was Miami bound


Poem Details | by JADAZZLE UNITED |
Categories: humorous,

Limericks Just for fun

She invited me into her lavender bath
I'm a ships captain and feeling quite daft
Though I was feeling absurd
I took her at her word
You should see where I moored my craft

With three suitors she could take her pick 
The stress and worry was making her sick 
She only knew she must marry
Quickly she dumped Tom and Harry
She knew she could not live without Dick.

There was a young lady named Mary
Her huge butt was terribly scarey
She went on a new diet
But please don’t you try it
As its now pert but terribly hairy


26th June 2014
Written by Jan Allison & Darren Watson


Poem Details | by Albert Ahearn |
Categories: imagination, love

If I were...

If I were a sonnet poem
A lover would read my proem
she’d recite all my lines
and would stress my end rhymes
and love the syllables iamb.


Poem Details | by kristen bruni |
Categories: funny, me,

My Hot Therapist

At times a hair-raising event.
As I yell at my dryer and vent.
A machine to make me hot
Takes the brunt today's stress brought.
Just do your job and make me content.


Poem Details | by Greg Stanley |
Categories: natural disasters, nature,

Mother Nature

When she gets mad she will rumble,
And many structures can crumble.
Perhaps this is her sign,
To stress things are not fine.
Man, why can’t she be more humble?


By: Greg Stanley
January 3, 2012


Poem Details | by Demetrios Trifiatis |
Categories: freedom, god, people,

THEE LORD PAY THE BILL




                Once upon a time Man asked God Free Will

                For he thought that it would be such a thrill

                     God gave Man what he asked for

                       Then Man asked a little more:

                 Me, do as I please, Thee Lord, pay the bill! 

 


© Demetrios Trifiatis
     18 November 2015


*ATTENTION this poem was posted yesterday and received eight 
comments and 73 visits, unfortunately my computer did it again and 
deleted it, so I post it again! 
These are my replies to the comments received:

11/19/2015 1:32:00 AM Your reply to a comment: 
 "Neither did I, my friend, M.M., however I wished to stress the fact that Man asks God to do everything for him but Man on the other hand is not willing to do as much for GodI know you are a very upright critic therefore your comment is a vote of confidence that I have succeeded without revering less our LORD! Thank you, Marugu Mo, for your visit and comment!! "
 
 11/18/2015 6:31:00 PM Your reply to a comment: 
 "Yes, the ultimate price He paid for us, dear dianeThe question is: How grateful are we for His sacrifice? Thank you! "
 
 11/18/2015 6:29:00 PM Your reply to a comment: 
 "My dearest brother, David, so gracious of you to visit and commentThank you very much!"
 
 11/18/2015 6:28:00 PM Your reply to a comment: 
 "Kim, my dear, thank you so very much for your lovely visit and comment! Hugs!"
 
 11/18/2015 6:27:00 PM Your reply to a comment: 
 "Yes, He did! Didn't he? But have we learned? Thank you dearest Alexis, for your delightful visit and comment!"
 
 11/18/2015 6:26:00 PM Your reply to a comment: 
 "So pleased to visit me, pal! Thank you for your commentYou are so right!"
 
 11/18/2015 9:34:00 AM Your reply to a comment: 
 "Thank you dearest, Catie for your precious visit!"
 
 11/18/2015 8:27:00 AM Your reply to a comment: 
 "Thank you, Silent One, for your comment."
 
 11/18/2015 8:26:00 AM Your reply to a comment: 
 "Thank you so much, Broken WingsYou so kind!" 


Poem Details | by Grace Williams |
Categories: allegory, angst, woman,

Sweetness

There once was a cat who just sat
And he grew enormously fat.
We have cut back his feed
No mater how he may plead
For if not he'll die and that is that

There once was a woman who worked
All the time, and stress drove her berserk
She'd screech and she'd yell
At all those she knew well
Till in her house only gloom would lurk

There once was a girl who just wept
When she had free time she slept
Between woman and cat
She felt like a drowned rat
Till she watched as before trains she stepped


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun,

SOB STORY

That's how I perceived it to be,
Sitting in my lavatory;
After stress and strain
I could not abstain
From writing a real sob story.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: vacation,

Even On Vacation



Even vice president of a successful operation Is never far from the stress even on vacation It follows in spite Much like a parasite Takes intestinal fortitude to resist the vexation


Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: christmas,

Overworked Santa

Santa Claus was in need of a rest
His thick costume he yearned to divest
Work was taking its toll
Getting out of control
He was feeling hard pressed and depressed.

Santa Claus hurried on back to base
His reindeer he gave freedom to graze
Santa got some shut-eye
The Pied Piper came by
The reindeer disappeared without trace

----------
A variation of 2nd stanza to give it a happy ending:

Santa Claus hurried on back to base
His reindeer he gave freedom to graze
Santa got some shut-eye
Then woke up to a pie
All the stress disappeared without trace.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Christmas Limericks Contest
Hosted by Carolyn Devonshire
Placed 3rd
© 30th November 2018 


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Left Behind and Cannot Find

Left Behind and Cannot Find

What had happened is we left it behind;
Then it no longer where we able to find;
Frost cold felt,
And did  melt;
When found send back if you don't mind.

Jim Horn

chess · guess · less ·  mess · press  stress · yes
address · assess · caress compress confess depress                                digress · distress  excess express impress excess                                  express impress obsess oppress                                                                                 
possess profess · progress ·  recess · redress · regress · repress · 
success · suggests · suppress · transgress · undress · unless 
acquiesce · coalesce · convalesce dispossess · happiness
nonetheless reassess · regardless repossess nevertheless 


Poem Details | by Michael Degenhardt |
Categories: funny, imagination

The Truth about Fairytales – Little Jack Horner

First off, Jacks last name was not Horner
Though, with a pie, he sat in a corner
His real name was Horny
Now this may sound a bit corny
But there’s a reason that he was a loner

In fact, Jack wasn’t so little they did say
That’s why in the corner he’d play and play
He was always alone
With a pie of his own
And he’d chase all his stress then away


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Trump Caused Us To Flip Lid

Trump Caused Us To Flip Lid

Trump has caused us to flip our lid;
On all his actions should apply skid;
Am battle torn;
Weather worn;
Bring him to an end and do get rid.

Jim Horn

This is my tenth poem of the day
I have written and cannot write
any moreWill continue tomorrow.
Hope this does take care of your 
comments day.

Propaganda and being brain washed
in a psychological nightmare
Much mental pain and stress that is 
completed with emotional trauma
This is our mental upsetting world.