Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
betrayal, body, humorous,
At the footbridge Sue was meeting her beau
(He was married to a woman called Flo)
Sue soon found out his deception
She dismembered his erection
For his love life it was a massive blow
To the hospital fled poor Rodger
For an op to repair his todger
Now fixed, it's SO big
Rodger grunts like a pig
in porn films as Rodger the lodger
Inspired by but not for contest
BY JAN ALLISON
7~18~16
He promised Flo he never would leave her
And she would be his only receiver
But she caught him with Sue
And his chances were through
Gnawing off wood when he neared her beaver
WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH
Sue castrated that cheating deceiver
With one whack of her meat cleaver
she pulled a Lorena Bobbit
turned Rodger into a Hobbit
Sue's now known as an "overachiever"
WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND
Across the table sits sweet Amee
Once A Roger, before he became a she
The master of infidelity
So many personalities
Before and after he became an amputee..
WRITTEN BY SKAT A
He was known as a terrible stoner
With a huge un-deflatable boner
It now sits in a jar
At the end of the bar
A reminder to all of its owner...
WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS
It’s become a tourist attraction
As a symbol of female subtraction
Grannies sneak in for a peek
Everyday of the week
Dreaming of former of love action.
WRITTEN BY MARK WOODS
Oh how sad that pork missile should be
unemployed but for all there to see
if science, in a jiffy
can rejuvenate stiffys
then the first in the queue would be me!
WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY
Flo wanted to give Sue a high five
For slicing Rodger with all his jive
A two timing fool
Who broke every rule
Now lil Rodger don't work in overdrive
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
Rodger's story has been immortalized
For having his thingy circumcised
It's on display in a bar
Now hanging in a jar
While it's slowing becoming crystalized
WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND
As she ponders on what to eat
Hopefully, it won’t be red meat
For there on the log
Is Rodger's hot dog
So she gets excited and jumps off her feet
WRITTEN BY WINGED WARRIOR
There's a lesson I really must blurt
To all those blokes out chasing some 'skirt'
When you're on heat
Don't share your meat
'Cause your todger might really get hurt!
WRITTEN BY MARK WOODS
Poor forgotten noteworthy Sue
Looking so gloomy she blew
At the pickled todger
once belonging to Rodger
kissing good times its last adieu
WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER
As "Rodger" snaked out of the door
It went past a room on tenth floor.
A woman therein
Said "Come right on in."
she kept screaming, "More, I want more!
WRITTEN BY ANDREA DIETRICH
After Sue chopped his tally-whacker
Poor Rodger became quite the slacker
He tried to bring his pecker forth
Never again to be pointing north
Now when he pees he sits on the crapper.
He stopped at the house, the red-light was on
Knocked on the door, the girls were all gone
Stuck with his sawed-off boner
Tonight He's going to be a loner
Damn, why did the girls all have to be gone?
BOTH POEMS WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN
A group of limericks quite clever
Began with one simple sever
Of engorged penis
which is, (between us),
I think, a spicy endeavor
WRITTEN BY H PENELOPE SWIFTLOCK
There was perfection in his pecker,
as a porn star he was a wrecker,
but to his wife he was unfair,
so she severed what was down there,
now his only job is director.
WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE
Poor Rodger thought he was being slick
when he carved out a handcrafted prick
he rubbed his new attire
his precious toy caught fire
Now he is left with an ashen stick
WRITTEN BY TEPPO GREN
An ashen stick means man minus prick.
Poor Rodger, now a eunuch, without a fix
He decided to become a transgender
Then off he went on a bender
Woke up married to a man from Bertrix
WRITTEN BY JEAN MURRAY
Rodger's new love was a prudish fox
but for brains she had a head of rocks
he splinted up his willy
popsicle sticks look silly
he said it was new and still in the box!
WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER (EVE'S HUBBY)
To be fair "At the Footbridge"
Now to be completely fair
And to stop every persons stare
Rodger was not actually circumcised
As he was a player, so don’t be surprised
This was from wear and tear and his willingness to share
WRITTEN BY MARK PAUL VAN DER MERWE
Now Rodger mostly stays home
for lack of a viable bone
He reaches by habit
down for his rabbit:
he's got Phantom Willy Syndrome!
WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART
Rodger was a good friend of Eye
Had a real hankering for cherry pie
Tasted every chance he got
And it would hit the spot
Until his crazy wife made him cry
WRITTEN ON 14TH JUNE BY EYE TRUTH TELLER
Roger pretends that he's a sexy stud
But when the ladies find out he's a dud
they all laugh in his face
anatomically a disgrace
His manhood is referred to as "The Bud"
WRITTEN ON 15TH JUNE BY LIN LANE
Rodger thought his op was a success
When he found he had more and not less
But the surgeon's blind stunt
Sewed it on back to front
Well, he certainly lacks some finesse!
WRITTEN ON 15TH JUNE BY RAY GRIDLEY
As he crossed the footbridge, Georgie saw a duck
Quite unique and raucous, it could quack AND cluck!
(And did so incessantly)
"Hey! Hey! It's all about me!"
It loudly proclaimed, with much aplomb and pluck
WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS
I also wrote another poem but this one did not turn into a collaboration -
if you read it you will see that it is quite different to my usual style
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/at_the_footbridge__2_822879
|
Poem Details | by
JADAZZLE UNITED |
Categories:
humorous, vacation,
We arrived at the airport quite late
My passport was months out of date
My husband was snappy
The baby filled its nappy
I just stood there and got quite irate
The pilot had been on the pop
On the runway he couldn't stop
He just missed a tree
Stopped off for a pee
Now his career is facing the chop
Our hotel was two star not four
Cockroaches crawled on the floor
We got a terrible fright
In the middle of the night
A tornado blew off our door
Written for Vacation Humor Contest Sponsored By Carolyn Devonshire
07~23~14
|
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
funny, political,
I pray a bright star will shine in the air
O'er Washington to guide some wise men there
Bringing gifts of commonsense
And harmony to dispense
To a nation that is in disrepair
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
|
Poem Details | by
lim'rik flats |
Categories:
tribute,
*if ya wanna add some sillies, hop on the wagon!
After the feast, Tommy was gone
Hen said, "Don't worry, won't be for long."
"He'll reincarnate,
Just sit and wait."
"He's not just SOME - POET, Tommy's a song."
"He's always a gas, loads of fun,
With plenty of wit and good with a pun."
"If you miss him,
Be sure to kiss 'em,
When he comes again to shine like the sun."
By Jan Allison:
When he struts it engorges his snood
Oh my goodness that really sounds rude
It dangles from his beak
You must go take a peek
See Tom is the king of his brood.
By ilene bauer:
He was missed, though, by all of his group
Who felt bad he was out of the loop
So they jotted some rhymes
Thinking 'bout those good times
Now he's brought back to life on the soup!
By Alexis Y:
Tommy the turkey is not gone
He's hibernating and listening to a song
When he comes back
His strut won't be whack
Maybe this time he'll arrive with loud gong
By rogerPAT Adams:
When he struts it's more of a wobble
No matter if ground, grass or cobble
Though it might seem rude
When he's in the mood
I've heard he loves to gobble!
By Jack Ellison:
Tommy can be very rude at times
But down deep, his star really shines
His heart glows bright
Nothing bad I can write
Like his author, he's a master of rhyme"
|
Poem Details | by
Jason Talbott |
Categories:
funny, science fictionstar, star,
I write Star Wars limericks with aplomb.
'Cuz Star Wars is simply the bomb!
But they don't appear
On this nice website here,
They're at Starwarslimericks dot blogspot dot com!
No special effects there, I'm sorry.
A few pictures but nothing too gory.
I start at the beginning
And I keep on spinning
Retelling the whole Star Wars story!
|
Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
celebrity, science fiction,
Captain Kirk, an adventurous guy,
flew through galaxies beyond earth’s sky
on an old sci-fi show
which was canceled although
crazy fans would not let Star Trek die!
First for having the Captain Kirk name,
William Shatner achieved certain fame.
Illusions can shatter;
though older and fatter,
Shatner still is a STAR all the same!
* William Shatner earned both a Golden Globe and an Emmy for his quirky
role as Denny Crane and Emmy nominations until the end of the series
Boston LegalAlso he appears on numerous comedy and tv shows, does
cameos, interviews, conventions, commercials, twitter, and book writings
and has a star on both the Hollywood and the Canadian Walk of Fame.
By Andrea Dietrich for Skat's Poetry Contest with Star Trek Theme
Star Trek Rules!
|
Poem Details | by
Cassie Smith |
Categories:
adventure, faith, fear, happiness,
There once was a wonderful star
Who thought she would go very far
Until she fell down
And looked like a clown
She knew she would never go far
She would land near the moon
|
Poem Details | by
Duke Beaufort |
Categories:
humor,
Yoda clever was right on cue
And Obie did swell tae kwon do
But one day unique
In star wars double speak
Must be "May the 4th" be with you
|
Poem Details | by
Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories:
funny, holidayhalloween,
For trick or treating Stella the strumpet
Got dressed up as a butterscotch crumpet
Caught his eye – Jabba the Hutt
He had hunger pangs in his gut
No more strumpet; Hutt plays "Taps" on trumpet
*For John Freeman's Halloween Limericks Contest©
If you haven't seen Star Wars, you can see an image of Jabba the Hutt at:
http://www.google.com/imgres?
imgurl=http://almostdorothy.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/jabba-the-hut-1-
749957.jpg&imgrefurl=http://almostdorothy.wordpress.com/2010/02/16/kristine-
snodgrass-an-interview-with-a-fledgling-
starlet/&h=425&w=351&sz=44&tbnid=ydiaMK997cAQVM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=104&prev
=/images%3Fq%3Djabba%2Bthe%
2Bhut&zoom=1&q=jabba+the+hut&hl=en&usg=__vXVHk5so6VdAvMm6AFFu5s1vark=
&sa=X&ei=ssnJTL2DEIGC8gamr-jsAQ&sqi=2&ved=0CCYQ9QEwAQ
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Poem Details | by
Marisa Moynihan |
Categories:
happiness, how i feel,
This idol, this man holds a place in my heart
He speaks of Ziggy Star Dust and Major Tom, so I don't know were to start
He played as a king of a goblin land
Watching and listening to him makes me crumble like sand
David Bowie s melodies and performances are genuinely an art.
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Poem Details | by
POET. UNDERTAKER |
Categories:
humor,
Once there was an actor called Solomon” the Super star”
Demonstration of falseness and pretense for Oscar
A show of diligence
No show of dog race
Bloody, ultimately no gold is super star better hopeless star!
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Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, nonsense,
Captain Cook was cruising in Hawaii
Yes,he deserved better fate, no wifi
But his lucky star smiled
He found Venus beguiled
He nailed his colours to the mast, said, "Hi"
|
Poem Details | by
Russell Sivey |
Categories:
dream, life, star,
I desire to enter the light of the dream world
Where everything has hope, so I may get the girl
The stars all shine above
Giving off a special love
Nothing is as bright as the star that gives a twirl
Russell Sivey
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Poem Details | by
Shannon Deane |
Categories:
inspirational, on writing and
Written by: Shannon Deane
Written: June 21st2011
Contest: Inspired
If you can find me, you'll know where I am
Face in a book, quiet as a lamb
Matter not where I sit down
If I look like a clown
Writing for self preservation I am
Waiting for my star to shine
For the world to know those words are mine
Two rainbows for luck
Praying I don't really suck
Sometime soon everything will turn out fine
I find inspiration in many ways
Writing till the end of my days
The stars will align
Revealing sublime
Masterpieces never only a phase
|
Poem Details | by
Quentin Ehlinger |
Categories:
music,
To sing out the Star Spangled Banner
In the most appropriate manner
You must have four
To sound out more
And highlight that new fangled scanner
|
Poem Details | by
Sara Kendrick |
Categories:
imagination,
Spishu, spishu shooting star flies
Noisily streaks across night skies
Lights life for split second
Then wonder if beckons
Which one is being called arise
Please click on
"About This Poem"
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
addiction,
Just came back from a Star Wars viewing
“FANTASTIC” now I understand all the hulaballooing
It sure blew me away
Don't know what else to say
No words can describe it, my mind is schmoozing
© Jack Ellison 2015
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humorous,
Once had a friend, Ken Steeles
With the girlies he sure had appeal
Outshone me I agree
Chopped liver was me
But my star possession was concealed
© Jack Ellison 2015
|
Poem Details | by
Grace Williams |
Categories:
death, epic, fantasy, satire,
The heaves and the roars and the sighs
Are less frightening to passer-bys
Than the terrible moans
Of the hollowed out stones
Which bring forth the dead sailors’ cries.
The sky in the west has gone red,
Dyeing rocks on whom many have bled
Men defended their homes
Legends filled foreign tomes:
Devil’s ile is what far scholars said
Thinking savages roamed ‘round uncouth
They could not have imagined the truth
That a goddess lived there
With star light for her hair
Who gave to all many life times of youth
These people they could not feel fear
For as long as their goddess was near
Despite the fall of leaves
They had endless reprives
A silver strand and at death they could leer
But when one girl fell deeply in love
With one resembling a sweet mourning dove
When she asked for a strand
From her tribe she was banned
Left to die with her husband alone
First of her people to grow wise with age
She tried to make others give up their rage
But with her own son she failed
And to his people he sailed
He hanged the goddess by her hair on her stage
*I know that this is a bit creepy and gross I don't know why I wrote it.*
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
giggle,
Where oh where did my little friend go
He used to be the brightest star of my show
Now shy and reserved
Seems to have lost his nerve
Guess old age is finally taking its toll
© Jack Ellison 2015
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
fun, silly,
So many times I've wished on a star
Still not rich, it ain't working so far
Perhaps if I cheat
And offer a treat
Like a girl star to cuddle while I play my sitar
© Jack Ellison 2015
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
fun,
Well tickle me bum and call me Lucy
Everything's loopy and totally groovy
Lost half a pound
Look great in a gown
Next I'll star in a Hollywood movie
|
Poem Details | by
Angeline Haikutwinkle |
Categories:
god, inspiration, philosophy,
I gaze at the approaching thunderstorm
and inhale the earthly scent of rainstorm
Her tears
as spears
is like a million blows on human fears
I ponder awhile beneath the lit-up sky
then words start rolling & a prayer is sent up high
I wish for peace
for all fighting to cease
and then the sky beckons with shades of cerise
I loose the heart and soul on mankind
it's easy to lose faith without God's sign
When lost
we toss
the beauty of his creation for lust and greed
Then I witness the miracles of life stories
coincidences that appear and save lives
His wisdom
for our kingdom
is unfathomable for our limited visions
If only we can soar with his visions
Like an eagle on a wind's rhythm!
A mirror response to Mystic Rose's poem below:
I watch the splendor of a shooting star
and breathe the beauty of a hum-guitar
Her light
in flight
is like a million lanterns on a cooling night
I dream awhile beneath the tarp of heaven
then close my eyes & slowly count to seven
I wish in true
for souls renew
and soon I’m covered in night’s dew
I loose the mind and pry his realm
it`s an expedience of God’s mystic dream
When free
I see
the beauty of his creation for all eternity
I watch the splendor of a bird in flight
and breathe the beauty of a blessed night
His wings
they sing
to me of freedom, and all a night can bring;
If only we can learn to sing
Like a Cardinal on a string!
Written by: Mystic Rose
June 24, 2015
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Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humorous,
Along with Judy Garland, this star was born
Twas for me, they rang the bells and sounded the horns
Yup! Li'l ole me
On my mommies knee
Destined for greatness but my mind was stillborn
© Jack Ellison 2015
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Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
dream,
Wish I could save the dream from last night
A block buster movie, proceeds out of sight
More than Star Wars
My mind just soars
How I'd spend my fortune, buy a country I might
© Jack Ellison 2016
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Poem Details | by
Jerome Malenfant |
Categories:
humorous,
A bright young fellow named Ernest
Went to med school to be an internist.
But the sight of insides
Gave him really bad vibes,
So he took up accounting in earnest.
A shifty young lawyer named Stan
Came up with a devious plan
To avoid paying taxes
Through complex finances,
But was told that his plan wouldn't stand.
A beginner in fencing named Perry
Was finding that swordplay was scary.
"Not to belabor
But it's defective, my saber!
It thrusts but refuses to parry!"
An anemic young lady named Madeline
Became increasingly maudlin
When she came to discover
That her boyfriend and lover
Would sleep through the day in his coffin.
A lady tourist named Lisa
Fell from the Tower of Pisa.
On the way down
She thought thoughts profound
And remembered to renew her visa.
A deadbeat gambler named Owen
Ran into the guys he was owing
Who, with style and with ease,
Broke both his knees,
After asking him, "Hey, how's it going?"
A big rock-and-roll star was Ben,
But now just a 90's has-been.
The girls and their aunties
Would throw him their panties,
But now no more groupies has Ben.
("What's in a name" contest entry)
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Poem Details | by
Marty Owens |
Categories:
animals, funny, naturenice, nice,
There once was a farmer named Joe.
Who knew how to handle a hoe.
A nice feathered cock,
Who knew how to rock,
Did help him his nice seed to sow.
This young farmer who's first name was Joe
Could hoe quite a bit in a row.
He had a great shock.
While feeding his cock.
The chickens his seed helped to sow!
*For Armano Aurocano Rock Star contest.
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Poem Details | by
David Fisher |
Categories:
film, funny, space,
The Death Star builder said it was flawless
But in hindsight he wasn’t too cautious
There was the exposed center
But what really helped end her
The emperor had no corner office
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
sad,
My limerick star is low in the sky
I'm struggling of late and don't know why
Could be the weather
Knock me over with a feather
Need to get back on track, I'm quite stupid-fied
© Jack Ellison 2015
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Poem Details | by
Tom Quigley |
Categories:
baseball, memory, sports, time,
Raul Mondesi is back from wherever he’d been hid
Storming into the Big Leagues and making another bid
But he played over a decade ago
Guess for me time hasn’t gone slow
And the rising star this year is Mondesi’s kid
3/31/16
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Poem Details | by
Jimmy Anderson |
Categories:
fantasy, people
There is a star in the galaxy of Zy
Where the people speak by uttering sighs
On reconasance to find a land dry
Landed near a bench where Henry Parks took his naps
With outstretched arms he let out a sigh, within seconds he was zapped
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Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun,
Dorian Dorian was a queen bee
Went to a cafe to have a sip of tea
Waiter said,"No sugar"
Queen cried " Honey Booger"
Left the cafe for a buffet in Kruger 60
NOTES :Kruger 60 (DO Cephei) is a binary star system located 13.15 light-years from the SunThese red dwarf stars orbit each other every 44.6 years.
Booger is an imaginary monster used to frighten children.
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Poem Details | by
Sidney Beck |
Categories:
space
STAR
Twinkle star with light bright soul
Have you changed your stellar role?
How I wonder where you went
When all your energy you spent.
Did you become a small black hole?
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Poem Details | by
bulinya martins |
Categories:
faith
the magi rode again
after the star of David rose to reign
the royal in manger in the stable
lay he ready to enable
but Herode wanted him slain
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Poem Details | by
JJ Hammer |
Categories:
car, celebrity, drink, funny,
Reese is a Hollywood star in demand
Southern belle mixed with, "Yes Ma'am"
Till she got pulled over
For driving not sober
And cried, "Don't you know who I am?"
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Poem Details | by
David Horne |
Categories:
cowboy, fun, humorous,
When I was a boy of two or three,
My dad and cousin said to me;
'You'll be the gee-tar player in a big folk band',
‘'With those six little fingers on your right webbed hand',
-----------------
So he went straight out to make me a star,
And he sold his horse and bought a new gee-tar;
But a band needs maybe two or three,
So my daddy brought in some family.
----------------
There was cousin Jeb with his massive chin,
He could play pee-anna and the violin,
There was cousin Pete on the double bass,
His teeth were huge and covered half his face.
---------------
My cousin Jane was an easy choice,
With her long gold hair and an angels voice;
And daddy noticed too that as she grew,
She had udders like our old cow daisy too.
---------------
We practised hard till we were good,
But every now and then we would;
Be forced to play without our singer,
Cause she'd be in the hay with a local minger.
---------------
So when we'd growed and we could play,
We loaded up the cart one day,
We headed out, past our own land
With my six little fingers on my webbed right hand.
--------------
We got on stage on the opening night,
My hand felt stiff and my stomach tight;
But we couldn't begin without our Jane,
And she'd disappeared round the back again.
-------------
The curtain opened but the stage was bare,
We couldn't find jane anywhere;
Then I found them bangin in the nearest loo,
Now cousin jane is my auntie too!
------------
We came back to Norwich and broke up the band,
I'm not the big star that Daddy had planned,
But I'm the fastest milker in the whole damned land,
With my six little fingers on my webbed right hand.
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
nature,
Mother Nature is the star of the summer show
Knows what we look for, knows to her we owe
The sunshiny happy days
Laying on a chaise
Burning the crap out of our ears and our nose
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Poem Details | by
lim'rik flats |
Categories:
nonsense,
There once was a star quarterback
at the bottom of a stack on his back
He thought real fast
and let out a blast
Then the defense cut him some slack
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
fun,
Along with Judy Garland, this star was born
Twas me, they rang the bells and sounded the horns
Yup! Li'l ole me
On my mommies knee
Destined for greatness but my mind was stillborn
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Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
celebration,
Along with Judy Garland, this star was born
Twas me, they rang the bells and sounded the horns
Yup! Li'l ole me
On my mommies knee
Destined for greatness but my mind was stillborn
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
celebration,
Along with Judy Garland, this star was born
They rang the bells and sounded the horns
Yup! Li'l ole me
On my mommies knee
Destined for greatness but my mind was stillborn
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Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
humorous, song,
There once was a songbird named Mavis Hood,
Who yearned to be a star in Hollywood.
'Twas a forgone conclusion,
That this was an illusion.
I wished I could sing, now I wish she could!
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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Poem Details | by
Israel Cohen |
Categories:
imagery, night, sky, space,
Getting Your Bearings (north of the equator)
In order to know where you are,
The best way's to find the North Star.
Two stars in Big Bear
Are pointing to where
Polaris in Small Bear shines far.
Around the Pole star in his tail swings
The 12 constellations in grand rings.
This looking at bears
(If anyone cares)
Is why we say "getting our bearings".
composed by: Izzy Cohen
For a much more scientific explanation, see
http://www.synapses.co.uk/astro/bearings.html
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