Limerick Poems About Stars | Star Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: betrayal, body, humorous,

AT THE FOOTBRIDGE - LIMERICK COLLABORATION

At the footbridge Sue was meeting her beau (He was married to a woman called Flo) Sue soon found out his deception She dismembered his erection For his love life it was a massive blow To the hospital fled poor Rodger For an op to repair his todger Now fixed, it's SO big Rodger grunts like a pig in porn films as Rodger the lodger Inspired by but not for contest BY JAN ALLISON 7~18~16 He promised Flo he never would leave her And she would be his only receiver But she caught him with Sue And his chances were through Gnawing off wood when he neared her beaver WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Sue castrated that cheating deceiver With one whack of her meat cleaver she pulled a Lorena Bobbit turned Rodger into a Hobbit Sue's now known as an "overachiever" WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND Across the table sits sweet Amee Once A Roger, before he became a she The master of infidelity So many personalities Before and after he became an amputee.. WRITTEN BY SKAT A He was known as a terrible stoner With a huge un-deflatable boner It now sits in a jar At the end of the bar A reminder to all of its owner... WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS It’s become a tourist attraction As a symbol of female subtraction Grannies sneak in for a peek Everyday of the week Dreaming of former of love action. WRITTEN BY MARK WOODS Oh how sad that pork missile should be unemployed but for all there to see if science, in a jiffy can rejuvenate stiffys then the first in the queue would be me! WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY Flo wanted to give Sue a high five For slicing Rodger with all his jive A two timing fool Who broke every rule Now lil Rodger don't work in overdrive WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y Rodger's story has been immortalized For having his thingy circumcised It's on display in a bar Now hanging in a jar While it's slowing becoming crystalized WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND As she ponders on what to eat Hopefully, it won’t be red meat For there on the log Is Rodger's hot dog So she gets excited and jumps off her feet WRITTEN BY WINGED WARRIOR There's a lesson I really must blurt To all those blokes out chasing some 'skirt' When you're on heat Don't share your meat 'Cause your todger might really get hurt! WRITTEN BY MARK WOODS Poor forgotten noteworthy Sue Looking so gloomy she blew At the pickled todger once belonging to Rodger kissing good times its last adieu WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER As "Roger" snaked out of the door It went past a room on tenth floor. A woman therein Said "Come right on in." she kept screaming, "More, I want more! WRITTEN BY ANDREA DIETRICH After Sue chopped his tally-whacker Poor Roger became quite the slacker He tried to bring his pecker forth Never again to be pointing north Now when he pees he sits on the crapper. He stopped at the house, the red-light was on Knocked on the door, the girls were all gone Stuck with his sawed-off boner Tonight He's going to be a loner Damn, why did the girls all have to be gone? BOTH POEMS WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN A group of limericks quite clever Began with one simple sever Of engorged penis which is, (between us), I think, a spicy endeavor WRITTEN BY H PENELOPE SWIFTLOCK There was perfection in his pecker, as a porn star he was a wrecker, but to his wife he was unfair, so she severed what was down there, now his only job is director. WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE Poor Roger thought he was being slick when he carved out a handcrafted prick he rubbed his new attire his precious toy caught fire Now he is left with an ashen stick WRITTEN BY TEPPO GREN An ashen stick means man minus prick. Poor Roger, now a eunuch, without a fix He decided to become a transgender Then off he went on a bender Woke up married to a man from Bertrix WRITTEN BY JEAN MURRAY Rodgers new love was a prudish fox but for brains she had a head of rocks he splinted up his willy popsicle sticks look silly he said it was new and still in the box! WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER (EVE'S HUBBY) To be fair "At the Footbridge" Now to be completely fair And to stop every persons stare Rodger was not actually circumcised As he was a player, so don’t be surprised This was from wear and tear and his willingness to share WRITTEN BY MARK PAUL VAN DER MERWE


Poem Details | by Mystic Rose |
Categories: beauty, night,

Stars Are Our Link To The Great Beyond And God Himself


Title was taken from: Gary Bateman (I thank you Gary)


I watch the splendor of a shooting star 
and breathe the beauty of a hum-guitar   
Her light 
in flight 
is like a million lanterns on a cooling night

I dream awhile beneath the tarp of heaven 
then close my eyes & slowly count to seven 
I wish in true 
for souls renew 
and soon I’m covered in night’s dew 

I loose the mind and pry his realm  
it`s an expedience of God’s mystic dream    
When free 
I see 
the beauty of his creation for all eternity 

I watch the splendor of a bird in flight  
and breathe the beauty of a blessed night 
His wings 
they sing 
to me of freedom, and all a night can bring;

If only we can learn to sing
Like a Cardinal on a string!

Written by: Mystic Rose 
June 24, 2015 

 


Poem Details | by JADAZZLE UNITED |
Categories: humorous, vacation,

Vacation Disaster

We arrived at the airport quite late
My passport was months out of date
My husband was snappy
The baby filled its nappy
I just stood there and got quite irate

The pilot had been on the pop
On the runway he couldn't stop
He just missed a tree
Stopped off for a pee
Now his career is facing the chop

Our hotel was two star not four
Cockroaches crawled on the floor
We got a terrible fright 
In the middle of the night
A tornado blew off our door

Written for Vacation Humor Contest Sponsored By Carolyn Devonshire
07~23~14


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny, political,

Guiding Star O'er Washington

I pray a  bright star will shine in the air

    O'er Washington to guide some wise men there

        Bringing gifts of commonsense

            And harmony to dispense

                To a nation that is in disrepair

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by Jason Talbott |
Categories: funny, science fictionstar, star,

Star Wars Limericks

I write Star Wars limericks with aplomb.
'Cuz Star Wars is simply the bomb!
But they don't appear
On this nice website here,
They're at Starwarslimericks dot blogspot dot com!

No special effects there, I'm sorry.
A few pictures but nothing too gory.
I start at the beginning
And I keep on spinning
Retelling the whole Star Wars story!


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: celebrity, science fiction,

Star Trek's Star: Captain Kirk AKA William Shatner

Captain Kirk, an adventurous guy,
flew through galaxies beyond earth’s sky
on an old sci-fi show
which was canceled although
crazy fans would not let Star Trek die!

First for having the Captain Kirk name,
William Shatner achieved certain fame.
Illusions can shatter;
though older and fatter,
Shatner still is a STAR all the same!

* William Shatner earned both a Golden Globe and an Emmy for his quirky
role as Denny Crane and Emmy nominations until the end of the series
Boston LegalAlso he appears on numerous comedy and tv shows, does 
cameos, interviews, conventions, commercials, twitter, and book writings
and has a star on both the Hollywood and the Canadian Walk of Fame.

By Andrea Dietrich for Skat's Poetry Contest with Star Trek Theme
Star Trek Rules!


Poem Details | by Cassie Smith |
Categories: adventure, faith, fear, happiness,

Wonderful Star

                                   There once was a wonderful star 
                                 Who thought she would go very far
                                            Until she fell down
                                         And looked like a clown
                                   She knew she would never go far
                                     She would land near the moon


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, holidayhalloween,

Strumpet Meets Star Wars

For trick or treating Stella the strumpet

Got dressed up as a butterscotch crumpet

     Caught his eye – Jabba the Hutt

     He had hunger pangs in his gut

No more strumpet; Hutt plays "Taps" on trumpet


*For John Freeman's Halloween Limericks Contest©

If you haven't seen Star Wars, you can see an image of Jabba the Hutt at:

http://www.google.com/imgres?
imgurl=http://almostdorothy.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/jabba-the-hut-1-
749957.jpg&imgrefurl=http://almostdorothy.wordpress.com/2010/02/16/kristine-
snodgrass-an-interview-with-a-fledgling-
starlet/&h=425&w=351&sz=44&tbnid=ydiaMK997cAQVM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=104&prev
=/images%3Fq%3Djabba%2Bthe%
2Bhut&zoom=1&q=jabba+the+hut&hl=en&usg=__vXVHk5so6VdAvMm6AFFu5s1vark=
&sa=X&ei=ssnJTL2DEIGC8gamr-jsAQ&sqi=2&ved=0CCYQ9QEwAQ


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: humor,

05-04-XXXX

Yoda clever was right on cue
And Obie did swell tae kwon do
But one day unique
In star wars double speak
Must be "May the 4th" be with you


Poem Details | by POET. UNDERTAKER |
Categories: humor,

Super star


Once there was an actor called Solomon” the Super star”
Demonstration of falseness and pretense for Oscar
A show of diligence
No show of dog race
Bloody, ultimately no gold is super star better hopeless star!


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, nonsense,

Captain Cook

                                Captain Cook was cruising in Hawaii
                                Yes,he deserved better fate, no wifi
                                       But his lucky star smiled
                                       He found Venus beguiled
                            He nailed his colours to the mast, said, "Hi"


Poem Details | by Marisa Moynihan |
Categories: happiness, how i feel,

David Bowie

This idol, this man holds a place in my heart

He speaks of Ziggy Star Dust and Major Tom, so I don't know were to start

He played as a king of a goblin land

Watching and listening to him makes me crumble like sand

David Bowie s melodies and performances are genuinely an art.


Poem Details | by Russell Sivey |
Categories: dream, life, star,

Dream World Star

I desire to enter the light of the dream world Where everything has hope, so I may get the girl The stars all shine above Giving off a special love Nothing is as bright as the star that gives a twirl
Russell Sivey


Poem Details | by Shannon Deane |
Categories: inspirational, on writing and

Inspiration In Life

Written by: Shannon Deane
Written:  June 21st2011
Contest: Inspired

If you can find me, you'll know where I am
Face in a book, quiet as a lamb
Matter not where I sit down
If I look like a clown
Writing for self preservation I am

Waiting for my star to shine 
For the world to know those words are mine
Two rainbows for luck
Praying I don't really suck
Sometime soon everything will turn out fine

I find inspiration in many ways 
Writing till the end of my days
The stars will align
Revealing sublime
Masterpieces never only a phase


Poem Details | by Quentin Ehlinger |
Categories: music,

Sing Out

To sing out the Star Spangled Banner
In the most appropriate manner
You must have four
To sound out more
And highlight that new fangled scanner


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: imagination,

Arise

Spishu, spishu shooting star flies
Noisily streaks across night skies
Lights life for split second
Then wonder if beckons
Which one is being called arise  

Please click on 
"About This Poem"


Poem Details | by Mystic Rose |
Categories: art,

Beach Dreams

She feels the sand between her toes 
Hears the waves the crash of shore
She waits for a star fish 
Or a jelly glow fish 
Whichever one lands near her toes 
Beach dreams of summer throes 


November 26, 2015

Oil painting number 5, for Eve's contest
 
  


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: addiction,

Star Wars



Just came back from a Star Wars viewing “FANTASTIC” now I understand all the hulaballooing It sure blew me away Don't know what else to say No words can describe it, my mind is schmoozing © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: giggle,

Where Oh Where Did My Little Friend Go



Where oh where did my little friend go He used to be the brightest star of my show Now shy and reserved Seems to have lost his nerve Guess old age is finally taking its toll © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Grace Williams |
Categories: death, epic, fantasy, satire,

Silver Strands

The heaves and the roars and the sighs
Are less frightening to passer-bys
Than the terrible moans 
Of the hollowed out stones
Which bring forth the dead sailors’ cries.


The sky in the west has gone red,
Dyeing rocks on whom many have bled
Men defended their homes
Legends filled foreign tomes:
Devil’s ile is what far scholars said

Thinking savages roamed ‘round uncouth
They could not have imagined the truth
That a goddess lived there
With star light for her hair
Who gave to all many life times of youth

These people they could not feel fear
For as long as their goddess was near
Despite the fall of leaves
They had endless reprives
A silver strand and at death they could leer

But when one girl fell deeply in love
With one resembling a sweet mourning dove
When she asked for a strand
From her tribe she was banned
Left to die with her husband alone

First of her people to grow wise with age
She tried to make others give up their rage
But with her own son she failed
And to his people he sailed
He hanged the goddess by her hair on her stage

*I know that this is a bit creepy and gross I don't know why I wrote it.*


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Chopped Liver Was Me



Once had a friend, Ken Steeles With the girlies he sure had appeal Outshone me I agree Chopped liver was me But my star possession was concealed © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun, silly,

As I Play My Sitar



So many times I've wished on a star Still not rich, it ain't working so far Perhaps if I cheat And offer a treat Like a girl star to cuddle while I play my sitar © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Tickle Me Bum



Well tickle me bum and call me Lucy Everything's loopy and totally groovy Lost half a pound Look great in a gown Next I'll star in a Hollywood movie


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

The Bells Rang Out



Along with Judy Garland, this star was born Twas for me, they rang the bells and sounded the horns Yup! Li'l ole me On my mommies knee Destined for greatness but my mind was stillborn © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: dream,

More Than Star Wars



Wish I could save the dream from last night A block buster movie, proceeds out of sight More than Star Wars My mind just soars How I'd spend my fortune, buy a country I might © Jack Ellison 2016


Poem Details | by Angeline Haikutwinkle |
Categories: god, inspiration, philosophy,

Faith --- Answer Me


I gaze at the approaching thunderstorm
and inhale the earthly scent of rainstorm
Her tears
as spears
is like a million blows on human fears

I ponder awhile beneath the lit-up sky
then words start rolling & a prayer is sent up high
I wish for peace
for all fighting to cease
and then the sky beckons with shades of cerise 

I loose the heart and soul on mankind
it's easy to lose faith without God's sign
When lost
we toss
the beauty of his creation for lust and greed

Then I witness the miracles of life stories
coincidences that appear and save lives
His wisdom
for our kingdom
is unfathomable for our limited visions

If only we can soar with his visions
Like an eagle on a wind's rhythm!



A mirror response to Mystic Rose's poem below:

I watch the splendor of a shooting star 
and breathe the beauty of a hum-guitar   
Her light 
in flight 
is like a million lanterns on a cooling night

I dream awhile beneath the tarp of heaven 
then close my eyes & slowly count to seven 
I wish in true 
for souls renew 
and soon I’m covered in night’s dew 

I loose the mind and pry his realm  
it`s an expedience of God’s mystic dream    
When free 
I see 
the beauty of his creation for all eternity 

I watch the splendor of a bird in flight  
and breathe the beauty of a blessed night 
His wings 
they sing 
to me of freedom, and all a night can bring;

If only we can learn to sing
Like a Cardinal on a string!

Written by: Mystic Rose 
June 24, 2015 


Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: film, funny, space,

The Emperor's Office

The Death Star builder said it was flawless
But in hindsight he wasn’t too cautious
There was the exposed center
But what really helped end her
The emperor had no corner office


Poem Details | by Marty Owens |
Categories: animals, funny, naturenice, nice,

Helpful Rooster

There once was a farmer named Joe.
Who knew how to handle a hoe.
     A nice feathered cock,
     Who knew how to rock,
Did help him his nice seed to sow.

This young farmer who's first name was Joe
Could hoe quite a bit in a row.
     He had a great shock.
     While feeding his cock.
The chickens his seed helped to sow!


*For Armano Aurocano Rock Star contest.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: sad,

I'm Stupid-fied



My limerick star is low in the sky I'm struggling of late and don't know why Could be the weather Knock me over with a feather Need to get back on track, I'm quite stupid-fied © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: fantasy, people

The Galaxy of Zy

There is a star in the galaxy of Zy
Where the people speak by uttering sighs
On reconasance to find a land dry
Landed near a bench where Henry Parks took his naps
With outstretched arms he let out a sigh, within seconds he was zapped


Poem Details | by Tom Quigley |
Categories: baseball, memory, sports, time,

Raul Mondesi, Jr

Raul Mondesi is back from wherever he’d been hid
Storming into the Big Leagues and making another bid
But he played over a decade ago
Guess for me time hasn’t gone slow
And the rising star this year is Mondesi’s kid

3/31/16


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun,

Dorian Dorian was a queen bee


                                      Dorian Dorian was a queen bee
                                   Went to a cafe to have a sip of tea
                                            Waiter said,"No sugar"
                                       Queen cried " Honey Booger"
                               Left the cafe for a buffet in Kruger 60






NOTES :Kruger 60 (DO Cephei) is a binary star system located 13.15 light-years from the SunThese red dwarf stars orbit each other every 44.6 years.

Booger is an imaginary monster used to frighten children.


Poem Details | by Sidney Beck |
Categories: space

STAR

STAR


Twinkle star with light bright  soul
Have you changed your stellar role?
How I wonder where you went
When all your energy you spent.
Did you become a small black hole?


Poem Details | by Jerome Malenfant |
Categories: humorous,

A bright young fellow named Ernest

A bright young fellow named Ernest
Went to med school to be an internist.
  But the sight of insides
  Gave him really bad vibes,
So he took up accounting in earnest.

A shifty young lawyer named Stan
Came up with a devious plan
   To avoid paying taxes
   Through complex finances,
But was told that his plan wouldn't stand.

A beginner in fencing named Perry
Was finding that swordplay was scary.
   "Not to belabor
    But it's defective, my saber!
It thrusts but refuses to parry!"

An anemic young lady named Madeline 
Became increasingly maudlin
   When she came to discover
   That her boyfriend and lover  
Would sleep all day in his coffin.

A lady tourist named Lisa
Fell from the Tower of Pisa.
   On the way down
   She thought thoughts profound
And remembered to renew her visa.

A deadbeat gambler named Owen
Ran into the guys he was owing
   Who, with style and with ease,
   Broke both his knees,
After asking him, "Hey, how's it going?"

A big rock-and-roll star once was Ben,
But now just a 90's has-been.
   The girls and their aunties 
   Would throw him their panties,
But now no more groupies has Ben.


("What's in a name" contest entry)


Poem Details | by bulinya martins |
Categories: faith

the magi rode again

the magi rode again
after the star of David rose to reign
the royal in manger in the stable
lay he ready to enable
but Herode wanted him slain


Poem Details | by JJ Hammer |
Categories: car, celebrity, drink, funny,

Reese

Reese is a Hollywood star in demand
Southern belle mixed with, "Yes Ma'am" 
Till she got pulled over
For driving not sober
And cried, "Don't you know who I am?"


Poem Details | by David Horne |
Categories: cowboy, fun, humorous,

'Six Little Fingers' or The Norwich song

When I was a boy of two or three,
My dad and cousin said to me;
'You'll be the gee-tar player in a big folk band',
‘'With those six little fingers on your right webbed hand',
-----------------
So he went straight out to make me a star,
And he sold his horse and bought a new gee-tar; 
But a band needs maybe two or three, 
So my daddy brought in some family.
----------------
There was cousin Jeb with his massive chin, 
He could play pee-anna and the violin, 
There was cousin Pete on the double bass, 
His teeth were huge and covered half his face.
---------------
My cousin Jane was an easy choice,
With her long gold hair and an angels voice;
And daddy noticed too that as she grew, 
She had udders like our old cow daisy too.
---------------
We practised hard till we were good,
But every now and then we would;
Be forced to play without our singer,
Cause she'd be in the hay with a local minger.
---------------
So when we'd growed and we could play,
We loaded up the cart one day,
We headed out, past our own land
With my six little fingers on my webbed right hand.
--------------
We got on stage on the opening night,
My hand felt stiff and my stomach tight; 
But we couldn't begin without our Jane, 
And she'd disappeared round the back again.
-------------
The curtain opened but the stage was bare, 
We couldn't find jane anywhere; 
Then I found them bangin in the nearest loo,
 Now cousin jane is my auntie too!
------------
We came back to Norwich and broke up the band,
I'm not the big star that Daddy had planned,
But I'm the fastest milker in the whole damned land, 
With my six little fingers on my webbed right hand.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

The Bells Rang Out



Along with Judy Garland, this star was born Twas me, they rang the bells and sounded the horns Yup! Li'l ole me On my mommies knee Destined for greatness but my mind was stillborn


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: celebration,

The Bells Rang Out



Along with Judy Garland, this star was born Twas me, they rang the bells and sounded the horns Yup! Li'l ole me On my mommies knee Destined for greatness but my mind was stillborn


Poem Details | by lim'rik flats |
Categories: nonsense,

foul play

There once was a star quarterback
at the bottom of a stack on his back
He thought real fast
and let out a blast
Then the defense cut him some slack


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: celebration,

The Bells Rang Out



Along with Judy Garland, this star was born They rang the bells and sounded the horns Yup! Li'l ole me On my mommies knee Destined for greatness but my mind was stillborn