Limerick Poems About Sports | Sports Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: drink, humorous,

CHEERS -PLEASE JOIN IN THE COLLABORATION

I had an old auntie called Mable Who could drink men under the table She’d tell folks of her gout Sup up six pints of stout - then stagger to the loo when able! 11~23~16 WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON My paternal aunt whose name was Mable Drank so much that she slept in the stable Her best bud was a horse It's why she got her divorce Her spouse was gone with the wind like Gable WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y Her pearl necklace made a clunk When in her glass a bead did dunk She pulled it out And drank her stout Then laughed thinking her necklace might be drunk WRITTEN BY CHRIS GREEN He denies his delivery by stork Still eats his soup with his fork but in the loo when dinner is through screams loudly for his buddy "O'Rourke" WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS I remember your auntie quite well I met her down at the well she threw me in made my head spin or was it the stout I can’t tell? Mable can sop up the suds the boys at the bar are her buds shouting with cheer beer after beer sounding the floor with their thuds Mable did not cry in her beer She would shout loud in your ear bursting of fable her fame would enable tales to bring lushes to tears Mable once sloshed to the loo well intent on loosing a poo a lowly spittoon became a lagoon her urge to purge was now through Sing a song of six pints, each of stoutest ale thus the queen of giggles, spins another tale about her next of kin who sports a raucous grin What is Mable’s encore? Drinking from a pail! ALL WRITTEN BY LIM'RICK FLATS (JOHN WULF) All knew my good uncle Aristotle Who always carried a whisky bottle Each step he took had a sip That's why was mostly asleep Till drunk was he found holding a pottle! WRITTEN BY DEMETRIOS TRIFIATIS The reason that Mable was laughing Was because of the man photographing He was standing there nude, so she asked as she viewed, "What is that infection your staffing?" WRITTEN BY RICHARD OLSON Mabel had a pint with her bagel Every morn at the kitchen table Her navel would be bare Covered by sable fur hair Poor gal stumbled into the stable WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER Come here laddie and have you a taste Don't let this magic go off to waste Suck her on down Smother that frown Soon Mable's troubles will be erased WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Mable downed four pints of ale Then found herself in the town jail Down the road she did run Streaking naked just for fun Please close your eyes, and go pay her bail WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER Mabel was pretty easily amused, replacing the beer with 100% prune juice, at her party, friends acting farty, her bathroom having a very long queue WRITTEN BY CHERYL HOFFMAN Mable was oft on the nightly news For drunk acts in the bars she would cruise Some would certainly mind Views of their own drunk blind But Mable just hid her toilet bruise WRITTEN BY CAYCAY JENNINGS There's a rumor I had to ignore That Aunt Mabel didn't drink any more But it was my guess That she didn't drink less As another Guinness she'd pour! WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: abuse, baseball, basketball, bullying,

hawkers

Hyperbole is a sports cast
Announcers have egos so vast
My ears must have rest
From this lambasting pest
Collection of morons amassed


Author's note: Is it getting worse, or is it just me?


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: football, humor, sports,

Eulogy for a Quarterback's Reputation

We're angry!  What sports fan can blame us?

There hasn't been one loss for Jameis

     But off-the-field ruckus

     Makes sportscasters muck us

Once famous, now Jameis just shames us



*Written November 13, 2014 about Florida State University quarterback Jameis Winston 


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, car, old, car,

My First Car - a Not So Rosy Story

My very first car was, I think,
a Monza, which was rosy pink.
At a somewhat cheap price,
that old sports car was nice,
but my luck with her sure did stink!

Cleaned and polished, she was looking fine;
I was happy to claim her as mine
although she was such
a hog! On too much
gasoline that old sports car would dine!

On a big trip I took her; I cried
to find out that her engine was fried.
From a crack in her block
she stopped workingTick Tock!
Time is short; in six weeks she had died!



Poem Details | by Sean Kelly |
Categories: funny,

Are All Sports A Load of Balls

This is not a Sports Limerick ; For Jan's Limerick Contest


My  Limerick  will not  mention  Sports

Either pitches , golf courses  or  courts

'Cept  cranky  old  farts

Who  like  playing  darts

With  no  fuss in a truss  of  supports

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Sorry guys , I just couldn't resist it !
Happy Christmas to all the talented writers here , and to those who passed comment on my "ramblings" May your pens be sharp/witty and bountiful for 2016 
Sean


Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny

Football My Fav

There once was a sports game called football.
Where the players knew how to trip and fall.
   They were clumsy it's true.
    You see they wore Panther's blue.
And the coach never knew what to call.


*for Royal Trevino's "My favorite sport (Limerick)" contest


Poem Details | by Charles Henderson |
Categories: sportssports,

The Fan

There’s no nut torrid like a sports fan
He wants to see feats not known to man
Watching from his hot seat
While goliaths compete
For the top, the best since time began

© Oct 5 2010   Charles Henderson
    6 th in Linda's Sports Limerick contest


Poem Details | by T.A. Skyles-Theoklapoet |
Categories: sports

SOONER NATION

The Oklahoma Sooners are my favorite team.
  There school colors are crimson and cream.

  They can run a ball and score real high.
    Make the other team fumble and cry.

             Yeah Boomer Sooners.
                              Teresa Skyles

Entered in Royal Trevino's"My favorite sports limerick"contest


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny,

What to Buy

What to Buy?
 
Avoiding clothes again this year
You have strange taste; so wipe that sneer
   The tie that you said “blew”
   And your hissy fits too
The men’s department?  I’ll stay clear!

 
For some a gift card would be nice
But you whine over every price
   No hobbies have you, dear
   You even find sports queer
So what do I buy you?  Think twice!

 
Please drop the act; I’m not buying
Cross-dressers are known for lying
   Victoria’s Secret
   Silk panties, your pocket?
For my high heels we’ll be vying




Poem Details | by Bart Jonas |
Categories: death, funny, loss,

Armageddon over Gentile U.S.of A

As I was driving to work early morn
The Police and Fire fighters were cleaning their horn
in Preparation of a Certain Alert
Evacuation exercises while the Hunks take off their shirt
DUCK AND COVER:The Best of DVD has hit the store
To take you back to the MISSILE CRISIS before
You and Sally will be laughing on the floor
And then..MR CLEAN will wipe the debris off the door
Crime will heed to the Political greed
Mother Nature won't be bothered indeed
The "after-effects" will fade after a few million decade
Deorderent of choice:a Few billion cannisters of RAID
Momma is upset at the current STAGE 2 alert
She didn't have a chance to get ready for work
papa is filling his gut with morning beer
He knows it is wise to drink up while it's here
Turning to the Sports section just one final time
and then the BIG BANG as the Desperatos cross the Line
The children's corpses are still on their bed
Radioactive creepy crawlers have taken them by the head
Outrage
Chaos
Mayhem ensues
No more Katie Curic and the 6:30 evening news
Before I die,of Certainty this night..
One last Hurrah
to Hear Eric Clapton play the blues!


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

HAIR RAISING

A hirsute young lady named Tash Decided to do something rash She shaved off her stubble Oh boy she’s in trouble – Tash now sports a beard and moustache 22nd June 2016


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: sports,

Strapped

Alan Aldrich was a sports reporter
some declared he was a news distorter.
He denied their gripes
and said by all rights
He was just an athletic supporter.


Poem Details | by Aniruddha Pathak |
Categories: humor,

Gender catch

Gender catch

MOM’s not what you think, but Man of Match
POM, player of what females may fetch;
Be careful what you say,
World’s grown touchy today,
Avoid conceding an easy catch.
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In today’s times one need be politically correct, as also gender correctA lady chairman is always chairpersonIt’s not actress; actor will do for bothSimilarly in cricket, the mother of all sports in India, the counterpart of Man of the Match (MOM) is Player of the Match (POM)In today’s times it is the outer package that matters, not so contents; style, not substance
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     Happenings | 12.02.2017 |