My unfortunate uncle named Rick
Was endowed with a very small wick
But he was still quite able
To impregnate aunt Mable
Who gave birth to a son they called Dick
2nd April 2017
My son has a new dog called Brandy
By jingo that pup is so randy
He caused quite a to do
When he humped my left shoe
No wonder his legs are so bandy!
Prince Harry and wife's new son is named Arch
He was born in May instead of in March
He looks kind of cute
In his new white suit
I guess Meghan went easy on the starch
The little boy said to his father,
I wish I could drive the ball farther.
He said to his son,
By time we are done,
Your ball will "lie" just past the others.
My swimmers on, to the beach I ran,
Across the hot, white, squirming sand,
The first wave faced knocked me rotten,
My dad had told me but I'd forgotten,
Jump the waves son if you can.
Their well being covers every corner of his conscience
caring for them is his default so beyond science
even when he seems wicked
he’d not mind to go naked
for love in their life to have a high rate of prevalence.
There once was a big Muppet called Rich
Who was a crazy son-of-a-bitch!
One night he didn't get far -
He drove and hit a parked car,
And so big Rich had to ditch then hitch!
There once was a young man named Dan,
Who married a woman named Anne.
Three kids plus one more,
Males a total of four,
Now it's Dan and Anne and their clan.
(written in honor of my son Daniel and family)
I Took my son on a trip to the zoo
There was so much for us to see and do
One roar from the lion
My son started crying
The trip was over I was scared to
FOR ZANY ZOO CONTEST
In the spring, Sammy loves planting trees.
With his son, he flies kites in the breeze.
But his favorite thing
Is at night performing
With his wife like the birds and the bees!
For the Spring Forward Poetry Contest of Debbie Guzzi
Hey Son, I wrote this to warn you
In your whole life, many girls are coming through
You might have only girl to love her much over
But you have to remember that do not hurt your mother
She is my only girl too...
One of dem Saucer land in da Bayou
Ole Boudreaux out huntin say "Jus who be you?"
Den he point him shodgun
And say "Lookee here son...
Jus found some green OKRA to seasonne my stew!"
rip me open, inside out
straddler feeling, he came out
drag me along, make me bleed
fake your love, I don't feed
screams for help , I, the silent grout
There once was a man with the last name Butts
He really must have been nuts
When a son he did sire
This name he did conspire
Seymore was the name a decisive cut
Not an original idea...
He came from a world they call shower
And he never knew of its power
For even the sun
Sensed when he was done
For it changed a son into flower
I handed toddler sour pickle
I bribed him with a shiny nickel
Took a little bite
And to my delight
His puckered face, gave me a tickle
Copyright © 2010 By Caryl SMuzzey
He’s sorry and wished it undone
But dad’s home—there’s no where to run
The spanking's intense
Father never relents
And imprints his hands on his son
"I ran behind a bus", said Ben,
“Saved a good five dollars again”.
“Oh fool!” dad exclaimed,
“My son, I’m ashamed”.
Chasing cabs, you could’ve saved ten!
There was a happy fellow Jack Ellison
He used to get mail to "Jack Ellis & Son"
Some might jump up and down
And "tsk" with a deep frown
But not this happy fellow Jack Ellison
c ELR 2013
We saw in the garden the seed
Planted by man’s first evil deed
God sent his own son
To be the right one
To absorb sin so man be freed
© Jun 21 2010 for John’s “Human foible” contest
They've named a new dish of pasta and noodles
After my wannabe chef, makes dough by the oodles
They call it “la scotta”
To try it ya oughtta
Puts hair on your chest and makes you bug out your pupils!!!
© Jack Ellison 2015
The highlight of the year for dear old Dad
Was Halloween when treats were to be had
His modus operandi
Son you collect the candy
Snickers for me - licorice for you lad
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
"Do you know 'bout birds and the bees?"
One day my son asked suddenly,
"Just ask your teacher,
she would know better"
"No Dad she is yet to marry!"
Me great, great, great-grand pappy-died
His son, sailed away from fighting Ireland
In the wake of the potato famine, sought land
Farming his love, many sons his pride
Irish potatoes-boiled, mashed, salad and fried
In a frontier town of Oregon
lives a rascally son of a gun.
He’s taking on louses
that beat up their spouses.
I can hardly believe that’s my son!
For Carolyn Devonshire's Contest: