Limerick Poems About Sons | Son Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, break up, humorous,

HE EXPLODED LIKE A PRESSURE COOKER

THE IDIOM I MADE UP IS - HE EXPLODED LIKE A PRESSURE COOKER My son has returned to our home He’s mouthy and just loves to moan Now nothing is right We constantly fight He’s like a dog missing its bone! His wife was once such a good looker Her red lips she just loved to pucker After botox and filler She looked like a gorilla.. He exploded like a pressure cooker! The tension between us is rife I’m his mum and not his ex wife But his reaction is mean Shouting, letting off steam She left him because of this strife! Create an idiom contest Sponsored by Jesse Day TOTAL FICTION WRITE! 07~28~16


Poem Details | by faleshia murphy |
Categories: funnyson, son,

ZOO MANIA

I Took my son on a trip to the zoo
There was so much for us to see and do
    One roar from the lion
    My son started crying
The trip was over I was scared to



FOR ZANY ZOO CONTEST


Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: family,

Dan's Clan

There once was a young man named Dan,
Who married a woman named Anne.
Three kids plus one more,
Males a total of four,
Now it's Dan and Anne and their clan.


8/5/2013
(written in honor of my son Daniel and family)


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: beach, for children, summer,

Too Excited

My swimmers on, to the beach I ran,
Across the hot, white, squirming sand,
The first wave faced knocked me rotten,
My dad had told me but I'd forgotten,
Jump the waves son if you can.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: history, son, god, earth,

The Gods' Family Tree

An Egyptian I never could be,
but since reading of their history,
in limerick form
I now write to inform
my friends of the Gods’ family tree.

From “Waters of Chaos” came Nun,
the only God under the sun.
The first piece of ground
rose up as a mound.
Hun stood there and coughed up a son!

Hun spat out the God of Air, Shu,
and he spat out a cute goddess too.
Tefnut was her name.
Moisture was her fame.
She and Shu beget children - two!

Their son was named Geb; the girl, Nut.
I’m not sure how to say her name, but
I sure like to say
Goddess Sky’s name the way
that rhymes with the famous King Tut.

When he laughed, the son Geb, “God of Earth,”
made the earth shake beneath his great girth.
I think Geb is busy
in modern days, for he
quakes often, for he’s fond of mirth!

For the tale to proceed, there ensued
some more incest, and not to be crude,
Nut, the Goddess of Sky,
got it on with the guy,
King of Earth, and they had a big brood.

There came forth from their coupling,
Queen Isis and a new Earth King,
Osiris, who was
a good king because
he ruled all rebirth, a great thing!

One son, against harmony, came
to kill Osiris, and his name
was Seth; once again
like the story of Cain -
an envious brother to blame.

But Seth got his just desserts when,
having married his Mom Isis, then
he was killed by HIS son,
named Horus, who won
the throne, and so “good” ruled again.

From Seshat to Sekmet to Rah,
Gods were worshipped by ancients with awe.
You’d have worshipped them too
had you been born to do
your poems on papyrusHa ha.


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, name, name,

What Is In A Name

There once was a man with the last name Butts  
He really must have been nuts
When a son he did sire
This name he did conspire
Seymore was the name a decisive cut

Not an original idea...


Poem Details | by Rebecca Beirne |
Categories: family, funny,

Elaine's Limerick

ELAINE’S LIMMERICK

Let me tell you of my sister-in-law Elaine
Whose breasts drive most males insane
With her size double D’s 
They bring men to their knees
Her name’s in the breast hall of fame  

She says being big busted like me
Is not all it’s cracked up to be
She says in frustration
Try and hold a conversation
When there’s only two things a guy sees

But although she is much well endowed
Of her breasts she is so very proud
She tailors them cute 
In their double D suits
To make them stand out in a crowd

Her breasts they are not a disgrace
Even though they won’t stay in one place
They wiggle they wobble 
And sometimes they gobble
And unsaddled they fall to her waist

Recalling her lactating years
Monstrous they brought her to tears
Like torpedoes they fell
To her lap they did swell
Her son cried, “Mom I can't nurse from down here!”

When her milk came she thought she’d implode
Then like volcanoes they both would explode
She’d bind them real tight
They put up quite a fight
Till she cried, “No more can I carry this load”

At the lake when she jumps off the boat
A life vest she’s no need to tote
For she bobs up and down
Impossible to drown
Like buoys they keep her afloat

To enlarge them women pay a big fee
To, say a thirty-six C, D or E
But hers are quite natural
She can use them as collateral
And they didn’t even cost her a penny

She has memories of breasts standing high
Neither one was the least bit shy
But gravity has taken its tow
For they now sit quite low
But with underwire she can make them look spry

They're so big that to some they look wrong
But she can bounce them to the beat of a song
They're no longer high and round
They're like two sagging mounds
Because she's now a size Double D long


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, funny, silly, mum,

Why There's No Baby Planes

On a flight to Auckland one day A mother over hearing her son say Cats and Dogs can have babies Can planes do that maybe Ask the attendant, see what she says So off to the attendant he asks Is it possible that planes do this task Did your mother tell you To ask me if it's true Tell her to tell and not mask As the little boy was walking away Following him the attendant did say No baby planes you will find Qantas pulls out on time Ask mum to explain this today . Written about a Joke I heard ;-)


Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: children, flower, funny, humor,

The Brave New World

He came from a world they call shower
And he never knew of its power
For even the sun
Sensed when he was done
For it changed a son into flower


Poem Details | by steven coleman |
Categories: dad, love, me, time,

alfred coleman

daddy youare sick now and my heart is breaking allthe way around!you have aways loved me and gave me what i need!my love for you will never die and we will meet in the heavenly sky!as days pass i wish time would last so i could spend more time with you ilove you true!im your only son and imss the times when we wher so close i love my daddy my friend you se from now and in eternity!


Poem Details | by kash poet |
Categories: funny,

Birds and the Bees


"Do you know 'bout birds and the bees?" One day my son asked suddenly, "Just ask your teacher, she would know better" "No Dad she is yet to marry!" =============000============== By:kash poet


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny, halloween,

Halloween Treats

The highlight of the year for dear old Dad

     Was Halloween when treats were to be had

          His modus operandi

               Son you collect the candy

                    Snickers for me - licorice for you lad

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny, son, old, old,

MOTHER GOOSE'S THE PIPER'S SON


I read a rhyme and I was so vexed
I feel that Old Mother Goose was hexed,
Didn't condemn this thief
And this brought me grief,
But he got beat up by Old Man Tex.


Tom the Piper's son stole pig and ran
This little boy acts like a big man,
Protective services
Moves him from premises,
Now the Piper smokes all that he can.


He sent his son Tom to go and steal
I wouldn't mind if 'twas for a meal,
But we all knew that it
Was to support his habit,
I think he should be locked up for real.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny

The Deputy D.A. of John Day

In a frontier town of Oregon
lives a rascally son of a gun.
He’s taking on louses
that beat up their spouses.
I can hardly believe that’s my son!


For Carolyn Devonshire's Contest:
Lawyer Limericks


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: son, son, son,

22-year-old Deal Breaker

He proposed, wanted me to be his wife
But I knew his son would cause too much strife
     A grown man with no goals
     His father he controls
I gently said, “No, I want a good life.”

In bed he lies, playing video games
“No work to be found,” this lazy son claims
     Blames the economy
     Acts irresponsibly
Sticks to his avatars; I use friends’ names 



*Entry for the Deal Killer contest


Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: death, funny, history, son,

Thus, Fate Avengeth

Henry VIII desireth an heir.
Wife after wife, nary son hath wives bourne.
Thusly, he cut off each head.
Findeth a new wife instead.
His sole son hath been born from an affair.


Poem Details | by Miss Wattle |
Categories: fun,

MIKE THE GEEK

MIKE I have a dear son named Mike I love him with all of my might. A geek to be sure Has four eyes and all But I love my dear son named Mike. IT guru his title, computers his game He twitches and fiddles and brings up a frame His fingers so spry, 'cross the keyboard they fly Voila! Client's computer is back in the game. c ELR 2013


Poem Details | by Grace Williams |
Categories: death, epic, fantasy, satire,

Silver Strands

The heaves and the roars and the sighs
Are less frightening to passer-bys
Than the terrible moans 
Of the hollowed out stones
Which bring forth the dead sailors’ cries.


The sky in the west has gone red,
Dyeing rocks on whom many have bled
Men defended their homes
Legends filled foreign tomes:
Devil’s ile is what far scholars said

Thinking savages roamed ‘round uncouth
They could not have imagined the truth
That a goddess lived there
With star light for her hair
Who gave to all many life times of youth

These people they could not feel fear
For as long as their goddess was near
Despite the fall of leaves
They had endless reprives
A silver strand and at death they could leer

But when one girl fell deeply in love
With one resembling a sweet mourning dove
When she asked for a strand
From her tribe she was banned
Left to die with her husband alone

First of her people to grow wise with age
She tried to make others give up their rage
But with her own son she failed
And to his people he sailed
He hanged the goddess by her hair on her stage

*I know that this is a bit creepy and gross I don't know why I wrote it.*


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: silly,

Happiest Pair Ever



Another day, another day of sunshine It's a competition I have with this son of mine Who's more upbeat Both hard to defeat Happiest pair ever, that's how we're defined © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, nonsense,

Alumish and Alumina



                        Alumish and Alumina great couple of Rutabaga
                Went on honeymoon to the kingdom of Father Alibaba
                                         They sat on alundum
                                      Kissed  the son Pellandum
                Both planned an élan elanddom in African savannah ha ha




























        Alumish and Alumina/Limerick Copyright© RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
                                             November 16 2014


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: son,

The Eligible Bachelor



My son Scottie, the eligible bachelor Has been down the road, still a lonesome traveller His time will come Sure as the sun Keeps rolling around, he's a charming feller!


Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

Butt Warts

My son brought home an ugly old toad
And flushed him down our only comode
My wife didn't see him there
And it gave her quite a scare
She screamed out loud when it overflowed


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, nonsense,

Helium on Caesium


                         The son of Helios He was the noble Helium
                       But He was an elemental slug fond of Valium
                                All said He was not at all noble
                                   He was basically Ignoble-
                         Anomalous wetting of Helium on Caesium









Periodic Table of Elements - Poetry Contest

Sponsor	Anthony Slausen

12/03/2014


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, nonsense, drug,

LIMERICK FAIR

                                      PETER'S SON PETERSON                        

                                 Peter’s son was rowdy Peterson
                               He met plug-ugly drug lord Dawson
                                         In a raucous party
                                       Came in "Bliss"ful Dirty
                              And tipped Dawson off about Lawson


                                        SCOTTISH Mr BRIAN
                  Scottish Mr.Brian came from the country of Shamrock
                        Found a plover under cover of a clover rock
                                Plover clover screeched a little
                                   And sat on a hefty skittle
                 Both fitted the bill as the pinball struck a cock-squawk











© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
15 October, 2014  21:55:43 IST


Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funnyson, son,

PERMISSION

To borrow there are rules to be checked
to show your father respect
        You should be real polite
        which would only be right
and to ask his ok is  correct.

But his son ignored that tradition
Used the car on his own volition
        When involved in a wreck
        He replied what the heck
I’d rather have forgiveness than permission!

His son learned the hard way that day
That’s all that I need to say
        He’s one of the fools
        Who won’t follow the rules
In the long run it's him that will pay.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: father son,

His Looks Gave Him Fame



Adopted a young son by the name of James A rebel from the word go, he had no shame His only good trait Made great chocolate cake Don't know his secret but his looks gave him fame © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Rebecca Beirne |
Categories: funny, imagination, nature,

The Storm

When the storm hit our town of Old Soling
It brought with it thunder a rolling.
My son said don’t fear,
As the angels are near
Because once again God must be bowling 


Poem Details | by Bart Jonas |
Categories: funny,

hate them LOVE HANDLES

I am small
and gaining WEIGHT
from the chips that I had ATE
Just around the BEND(I can barely do that,FRIEND)
Gut around the MIDDLE while my nephew tells a RIDDLE
Exploding sudden  GAS  ,it came from my rotund ASS
Chicks no longer LOOK at this unsightly SCHNOOK
as I eat my TWINKIE,the underoos are getting STINKY
What do men and women FEAR-besides an enema to the REAR?
unbearable stomach SIZE of a fatso that we DESPISE
Mother wants to give son TREAT by buying hamburger,Burger King SWEET
Dom Deluise has shown me the WAY to get more pound and flab
by expanding every DAY
Spaghetti and a MEATBALL to placate hunger and it's tasty CALL

Love handles is a feeling WHICH..
I quite fear,
life can be an unfair -ITCH!!


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Two Sons In One



An amazing young man is my son Scottie He's a big boy now, I'm talking about his body He's two sons in one A bonus by gum One thing's for sure, he needs extra large Jockeys


Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: son,

Tom Tom the Piper's Son

Tom Tom was the son of a piper
But here’s where the story gets riper
His dad, so they say
Could lay pipe night and day
Of his women, there wasn’t a griper


Poem Details | by Chris Broyles |
Categories: family, lost love, passion,

Fatherless Dream

The man I will never know
A shadow
Not even a footstep to follow

No memories to rely
Fainted pictures
No reason to cry

Would I be what I am woe
Useless reasonings
For only God would know

My father has gone, passed from sight
Curse death for he hath won the fight

Why then do I search for thee
A heart broken
My mother crying over me

Dreams are not all they are meant to be
False hope
Knowing it wasn't left to me

Not a son to continue on
A blood linage
Lost forever in a fatherless son


Poem Details | by Anna Hopper |
Categories: silly,

3 limericks

Oh my dearest darling Kate
Faced the most awful fate
Ate a peanut
Clogged her big butt
Now larger than Texas State

I would assume you've heard of Sue
The poor boy doomed to boo hoo
His dad was funny
Till he had no money
crawled back to his son for some stew

Henry was a giant catipillier 
He worked at Walmart as a vacuum filler
Always on time
Sucked up by nine
Until he met a snail and tried to steal her


Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: faith

The Way

This world was shrouded in dark sin
Until God sent his loved Son in
To shed the blessed light
That all of mankind might
Learn how eternal life to win.









Placed 2nd
For John Freeman's limerick contest


Poem Details | by Beau Regard |
Categories: funny

The Problem with Big Round Barrels (a series of cooped lymrics)

A barrel of laughs, like a barrel of hope
Echoing in my ears like suds in the soap
Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle
Loosen up my buckle
Roll around on the floor like a big dumb dope


A barrel of monkeys, what the heck does that mean?
Oh dear lord, don't let 'em out or they'll cause a scene
Pop the top
Never stop
Those two in the back corner are being obscene


A barrel of beer, now we're talkin
Strap on that tap, and no more walkin
Big mug
Glub glub
Nothing to do but keep on talkin


A barrel of whiskey, you crazy son of a bi*ch
Don't worry, we'll pace our selves, go off without a hitch
Here comes my rebuke
Someone's gonna puke
It's a cold hard morning when you wake up in a ditch


A barrel of wine, oh still the beating of my heart
Could turn any to loving regardless of the start
Another my dear
Baby have no fear
I would love to kiss you, what a beautiful remark


Poem Details | by Yvonne De Carlosa |
Categories: fun, nonsense,

Armandia Foolia

Armandlia Foolia



There is a man named Leonardo Gulia
Dating a woman named Julia Bulia
She likes eating grape jam
Thinks she’s a raving ham
She calls her son Armandlia Foolia



Written: 1/12/12
Yvonne 


Poem Details | by romeo naces |
Categories: life, son, teen,

Twin Bullets

            My teenage son proudly wears a Che Guevarra beret

         and belts out liberation songs from Bob Marley's reggae,

                                       as he fixes the sink

                                     I hum along and think:

           freedom, duty, twin bullets in life's most deadly roulette!



Poem Details | by James Peranteau |
Categories: childhood

Little creek

Little creek with crickets sound,
reminiscing the evenings I was bound,
of the girls that I have kissed,
of the childhood I now miss

Little creek with crickets, my son has found


Poem Details | by Victor Alexander |
Categories: bible,

SOLOWISE

SOLOWISE

Traceable son of Adam
Blood-lined to royalty; heir apparent to the throne
He has everything easy for him as he pleases
Amongst different choices, he chose wisdom first
The elders said he was humble and not greedy
Maybe the greedy and the arrogant would have chosen differently
The righteous praises him for his act of righteousness
God admired his spirit of selflessness and simplicity
In such surprise; he was blessed with added gifts
To him who has; more shall be given.

Just as the bird can’t beg for wings to fly
The fish can’t wish to swap water for land
He couldn’t ask for what he already has that is his right
Many would do anything just to be a king’s son
An opportunity the fowl would embrace to be a raven
By being that which we wish; we are satisfied
If not completely; at least to a measurable degree
A bastard born of royalty in royalty blood
If my father is rich, powerful, prosperous and respected
I the son, am the same; I am my father’s son.

Grant me one wish
I will make the one wish no one would
Yet, I asked for that I do not have
To be king, I am the richest
Being king, I am most powerful
Being king, I will need many advisers
Why have so many advisers; when I can have wisdom
Being king guarantees me no wisdom that is mine
To have that I don’t have; I could only ask for it
That in itself is wisdom.


Lordvip


Poem Details | by Indiana Shaw |
Categories: dad, humor, satire, son,

Lesson's Learnt

No offence intended to anyone from Caerphilly or Wales itself
Twaz the only place I could find it to rhyme with : )


There was young man from Caerphilly
Who was always playing with his willy
Till one day the darn thing just dropped off
A shout from his da working up from aloft
I told you son - never play with your bits willy nilly
Indiana ; )


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: religious,

Who Needs God the Most

Who Needs God the Most

Out of us who needs God the most?
Also Son and Holy Ghost
And for me to be fair
All of them I should share
About Them like to brag and boast.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by D. C. Jordan |
Categories: boyfriend, feelings, humor, mother

Girl From Wheeling

There was a young lady from Wheeling
West Virginia, that is
Who had a peculiar feeling that
Her boyfriend Jack was cheating

She took it to his Mom
“Mom” she said, “your son Jack
Is really pissing me off 
I'm ready to hit the ceiling.”

“Ya know,” Mom said, “You crack me up.
I'm tickled he goes to your head
He irritates me the same way about you
So I tell him to stay unwed.”

So Mom was the other woman
The young lady from Wheeling suspected
So she lay on her back and considered Mom amd Jack
“I would like to see them dissected!”


Poem Details | by lim'rik flats |
Categories: nonsense, political,

on the origins of the species politica nonsensica

One day the son said to God,
“Humans need a laugh squad.”
“Say what son?”
“You mean fun?”
“Wouldn’t that seem a bit odd?”

“No Dad, I think it’d be cool,”
“Maybe even laughter in school!”
He’s sounding coy,
the silly boy,
thought God, Am I a sour old fool?

Then he remembered the rip
in poor Job’s small ill-fated ship
The sound, like split britches
had them laughing in stitches.
Thought God, “When did my humor get stripped?

God pondered and stroked his long beard.
Cherubs and seraphims peered,
though mystified,
they deified.
Downstairs, the outcast one sneered.

“Tell you what son, let’s give ‘em politics.”
“It’s way more fun than sinking small ships.”
So the laughing squads 
(two teams at odds),
were loosed on the masses with tricks.

Which, coincidently, was fine
with the one who’d crossed the line,
Beelzebub,
became the hub
for political slime in prime time.


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: blessing,

From God Will Not Waiver

From God Will Not Waiver

Found myself with much fervor
Always shall be God's server
From His path will not waiver
And son is my Lord and Savior
Read Bible and am more mature.

Jim Horn

http://www.poetrysoup.com/poets/top_100_poets_most_poems_all_time.aspx


Poem Details | by Richard Olson |
Categories: animal, humor,

A Goat Named Bill


                            There was a motherless goat named Bill.
                            Who was raised by a nanny named Jill.
                            He was the strangest kid,
                            who often hid,
                            in the barn where he'd written his will.

                            He didn't have much to bequeath.
                            Beyond his half-eaten wreath.
                            He couldn't quite finish,
                            his wish to diminish,
                            when a pinecone got stuck in his teeth.

                            The children all thought he was nuts.
                            He responded by ramming their butts.
                            They'd run home and cry.
                            Their mothers asked "Why?"
                            The nanny just said "He had guts."

                            One day the farmer next door,
                            whose son Bill once tried to gore,
                            came holding a gun,
                            when Bill tried to run,
                            the buckshot flew right through its bore.

                            Poor Bill had suffered his fate.
                            Never once having gone on a date.
                            The wreath hangs alone,
                            on his marker of stone,
                            as it never was sent to probate.

                                   Written:  2/12/17