Limerick Poems About Sisters | Sister Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: dedication,

Jan - The Giggle Queen



My sister Jan, y'all know who I mean Joined the Soup and became a giggle machine Big laughs galore Leaves us wanting more Giggle Queen of the Soup, brings joy to the scene © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: humorous,

Stuck In The Can-For Contest


There once was a fellow named Stan Who got his butt stuck in the can He screamed and he hollered No one would be bothered Til saved by his twin sister Jan
04/26/2015


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

YEUK UPDATED - COLLABORATION WITH ROB BETTRIDGE

My sister Susie loved picking her nose To her chagrin her little finger froze It was stuck so far Doc used a crowbar Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose! Our Mother, in a fit of Pique At Susie's antics with her Beak Said, "Right my girl" And in a whirl Grounded Susie for a Week Resenting her fate, in bed Rebellion sparked inside her head When all were asleep She'd dress and creep Though the window and escape instead A branch near her window hung Which to its foliage she clung The branch was weak And with a shriek She fell into a pile of Dung The house woke up only to find Poor Susie in a dreadful Bind She looked quite a mess In her state of distress That our Mother went out of her mind "A School for young Ladies, I'll choose" One, her wildness, I hope will defuse And instil, at a pace, Deportment and Grace To refine the coarse ways of our Suz' Packed off to be 'Finished' she went Determined to never repent Despite all opinions It's just like 'St Trinians' And for Susie, was quite an event Susie boarded at ‘Saint Eloise’ It was there she got covered in fleas Once she dived in a ditch To be rid of that itch Oh, you should see the state of her knees! When in the first deportment class Poor Susie fell straight on her ‘ass’ When she exposed her behind The other girls were unkind So Susie began passing gas They had to open the windows and doors Crawl about and move on all fours To get rid of the smell That came straight from hell Staff told ‘Susie’ no more encores! Her Classmates all thought it a Hoot When she lit the gas that she'd shoot She then vented a Storm That Blew up her Dorm Which got our poor Susie the Boot She believed she should never have gone From the ones she depended upon With her Mission, complete (And a Cork placed, discreet) Susie's Home where she'll always belong. 20th January 2016 Collaboration J Allison and R Bettridge


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Sister Jan



Got a sweet pretend sister by the name of Jan She lives across the ocean on the Isle of Man We're united by the funnies We don't make much money Although some of our naughty stuff gets banned © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funnysister, sister,

We're Having Nun of That

Two Nuns travel through Europe by car
Guided by the heavens North Star
Transylvania they reach
Hymn singing they preach
Not realizing they have come so far

At a busy junction they now stop
The red light is about to colour swap
Then out of the night
A most scaring sight
Onto their bonnet Dracula did drop

Sister Francine to Sister Helen said
On with the wipers, off with his head
Darn, that never worked
On this darkly toothed berk
He's hanging on, foot down, of they sped

What shall I do, Sister Francine says
Sister Helen shouts, window wiper spray
At the Vatican I filled
It's heavenly chilled
This time he's sure to go away

The Holy Water now having been yield
Has the demons fate now been sealed
To rid of this dross
Please show him your cross
Get the **** off the windshield!




~*~ This piece has been turned into a Limerick from a joke doing the rounds ~*~


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: confusion, funny,

Twins

  I only had eyes for you when we first met,
  And yes blondes have more fun it's true my pet.
      How we walked hand in hand
      And rolled naked in the sand...
 "**** you! that was my sister - I'm the brunette!"

                        ------------

For the Write with the Wit of Twain contest.

Quote: Under certain circumstances, profanity
           provides a relief denied even to prayer.

                        June 2015


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, girl, girl,

Limerick: Once a Little Girl and her Sister

Limerick : Once a Little Girl and her Sister

Once a little girl and her sister
Went out for a walk in a bluster
Little girl lost her way
Big sister blew away
With a Mister who wore a whisker

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

Bend Over Baby

Got referred to a female Urologist
After which I needed a Psychologist
"I'm a licensed physician
Please resume your position!"
Next appointment: Her sister Proctologist


Poem Details | by Theresa CW |
Categories: fun, humor,

Harry and Scary

Hairy and Scary

Mary, Mary where is your brother Larry?
Went to movies with little sister Terry
They both look quite so short
They both need to abort
Sister Terry's legs are hairy and scary.


Written: June 6, 2015
Theresa Marie W-C


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, children, humorous,

YEUK - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

My sister Susie loved picking her nose To her chagrin her little finger froze It was stuck so far Doc used a crowbar Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose! 14TH January 2016


Poem Details | by robert johnson |
Categories: fun,

MMMmmm Chocolate

I have a nice sister named Sandy.
Who always has a dish of candy.
Sweet chocolate bits.
To satisfy fits.
To this sugarholic, she's dandy.


Poem Details | by Nikita Shah |
Categories: sister,

Sister

My sister will push and shove,
She was no angel sent from above,
A pinch here and a kick there,
Then a pull on my short black hair,
Yet somehow I still manage to love.


Poem Details | by Renee Kelly |
Categories: life, people,

Sibling Sanity

There once was a sister most prosaic
Who's love for her kin was most archaic
  She turned a blind eye
  To horrible lie after lie
And ignored her sibling's mind of mosaic


Poem Details | by robert johnson |
Categories: family, funnydad, dad,

Snag O Rama

Me,my dad and sister Robyn.
Went a fishin with a bobbin.
I hooked a tire and realed it in.
A big ole bullhead was in the bin.
So Dad said, quit your sobbin.

I told my brothers what I caught.
Their disbelief is not what I sought.
My Brother Scott said I was lying.
Brother Terry said quit your crying.
Mother said, don't give it another thought.

I've told this story many times.
And now I've told it with some rhymes.
The best part is, is that it's true.
And with one more line it will be through.
Fishin's fun if you don' mind the slime.


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: heaven, humor, religion, boy,

The Cowboy and Beelzebub

Off to the Church this Cowboy went For Sunday to him was Heaven sent But as he took to his pew Suddenly into their view Beelzebub, he, now present Imagine the screaming now starting To the exits they're simply departing But this Cowboy remains Against Beelzebub's deign Oh the odours of the leaving farting To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says In a broken down language display Are you frightened of me Am I stronger than thee Not really, who do you think you portray For Satan I am, but you never have fears No matter what I say, leaves you no tears So simply, what can it be That your not scared of thee I've been married to your sister for years .


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: health,

Asthma All His Life



A brother-in-law has suffered from asthma all his life Told my sister he'd die young, now 70 years his wife Married in spite Ninety years, still in flight Sure had a great life in spite of the strife


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: love,

She Belongs In A Zoo



There's a gal I know by the name of Joyce A dear sister of mine but I didn't have a choice So she'll have to do Though she belongs in a zoo All brothers tease sisters, it's our job to annoy © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Gert W. Knop |
Categories: animals

Spider Bill

A boy had a spider called Bill
which gave his sister always a chill
one day a cat came into their house
but instead of catching a mouse
she had eaten up poor little Bill


For Jon's Limerick-Contest


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor,

Limericks crochetes: Once an Outlaw wished to abide by the Law

Limericks crochetés : Once an Outlaw wished to abide by the Law

Once an Outlaw wished to abide by the Law
He married sister to Officer Law -
Then he went to college
Now lawyer in village :
His in-law divorced to marry Outlaw !

He took her case up to Appeal Court
The judges pronounced the divorce naught
So she joined the husband
To form the In-Law bund
To trap couples in marriages fraught

He thus named his law firm : In-Law & Co :
Specialists on marriages broken by law -
His clients were divorced
Payment by cheque not forced :
Outlaws lawyers in-laws knocked on his door !

© TWignesan – Paris, 2014


Poem Details | by Dr. Upma A. Sharma |
Categories: angst, humor,

Vacation Humor




Our sponsor papers much earlier had reached,
To my dear sister we had promised,
This vacation we were to spend in Brisbane,
Surgeon declared emergency, plans in vain,
Oh trip to Australia, landed up in hospital instead!

Planned a gala party at home,
Leaving unturned not a single stone,
Invitation sent to esteemed guests,
Sickness left me quite stressed,
Food bland soups, no lavish bone!

Planned to meet beloved on a bright day,
Dressed in favourite blue, I was on my way,
Much to my agony, he said he was stuck,
A bad vacation it was, and my bad luck,
Consoled myself, thinking he must be gay !



Written on 13/7/14
Contest- Vacation humor
Sponsor- Carolyn Devonshire 














Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: nonsense,

LIMERICKER'S MATHEMATICS


                                  A’s go-granny was B’s grand-nanny
                                      C’s mom’s sister loses a penny
                                               Therefore,A+B=C 
                                               Drink a cup of tea
                                        Hey D’s dad is an Yeti Yenny


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: giggle,

Kaput



Some days I'm firing on all cylinders it seems Then it all goes kaput and it's nothing but steam Try to muddle through Not easy to do Till I wiggle and giggle and once again beam This limerick “KAPUT” was inspired by my sister in crime, Jan Allison! © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by valerie bellefleur |
Categories: funny, dance, old, dance,

The Old Barn

I remember the old rustic barn
Long ago in the sweet month of May
My sister Louise and her newly found squeeze
Were having a roll in the hay

She'd sneak to the neighborhood bar
And drink with young Larry and Chuck
She'd dance on a table, all willing and able
And take off her clothes for a buck

They'd pay just one dollar for a whoop and a holler
And an evening of boisterous play
Then they'd head for the barn, for some fun and a yarn
And dance til the sunrise broke day

At four in the morning, when day was a dawning
Old Pappy had gone for his gun
He crept up the ladder to the boys who had "had" her
And shouted they all better run

"I'll bring in the law to those lads in the straw
So, come outta your hiding place please!'
The boys did appear, each clutching a beer
And jumped from the loft to the floor

As naked as jays they ran separate ways
Trying to make for the door
With a shriek of denial
Louise ran for a mile
Dressed in her silk pantaloons

And I think of that day 
As I chuckle away
At those bare bottomed 
Chaps of eighteen

And Louise met a farmer who tried hard to calm her
And keep her away from the skids
She cooked and she sewed and kept the grass mowed
And bore the old geezer six kids


Poem Details | by Jerome Malenfant |
Categories: gothic, humorous,

Deep in the basement

Deep in the basement of the east wing
Lady Penelope keeps a Thing
    With big teeth and claws
    And horrible jaws
And feeds it her husband’s old flings.

While sister Edith keeps under covers
A creature that crawls and gibbers and mutters,
    That’s disgusting and spiny,
    Appalling and slimy,
And feeds it her old boyfriends and lovers.


Poem Details | by Alan Draeger |
Categories: humor, nonsense, silly,

Massachusetts

In a house in Massachusetts
A wealthy mother of two sits
Her son's in the Sox
Where she has a box
And that's where his sister Sue sits


Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: funny

The Truth: Who Really Writes my Poems

My poems are written by Glen
My two foot three imaginary friend
It was his sister Jane
Who freed us from an asylum in Spain 
Ever since he has performed wonders with a pen


Poem Details | by Yvonne De Carlosa |
Categories: humor, nonsense,

Man From Nice

Man From Nice


There was an old man from Nice

He could not cook up some rice

His sister fell ill

Then took a spill

Too bad they can not play dice.


Written: Oct25, 2015
Yvonne 


Poem Details | by Lawrence Eberhart |
Categories: crush, humor,

Into Clover

Now Hank's sister had a friend named Clover
An attractive and curvey push-over
So it’s hardly any wonder
Hank was an easy push-under
When his sister had Clover come over.

January 2012


Poem Details | by Rob Bettridge |
Categories: humorous,

'YEUK' UPDATED - Updated collaboration with JAN ALLISON

 

(What Susie Did) My sister Susie loved picking her nose To her chagrin her little finger froze It was stuck so far Doc used a crowbar Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose! Our Mother, in a fit of Pique At Susie's antics with her Beak Said, "Right my girl" And in a whirl Grounded Susie for a Week Resenting her fate, in bed Rebellion sparked inside her head When all were asleep She'd dress and creep Though the window and escape instead A branch near her window hung Which to its foliage she clung The branch was weak And with a shriek She fell into a pile of Dung The house woke up only to find Poor Susie in a dreadful Bind She looked quite a mess In her state of distress That our Mother went out of her mind "A School for young Ladies, I'll choose" One, her wildness, I hope will defuse And instil, at a pace, Deportment and Grace To refine the coarse ways of our Suz' Packed off to be 'Finished' she went Determined to never repent Despite all opinions It's just like 'St Trinians' And for Susie, was quite an event Susie boarded at ‘Saint Eloise’ It was there she got covered in fleas Once she dived in a ditch To be rid of that itch Oh, you should see the state of her knees! When in the first deportment class Poor Susie fell straight on her ‘ass’ When she exposed her behind The other girls were unkind So Susie began passing gas They had to open the windows and doors Crawl about and move on all fours To get rid of the smell That came straight from hell Staff told ‘Susie’ no more encores! Her Classmates all thought it a Hoot When she lit the gas that she'd shoot She then vented a Storm That Blew up her Dorm Which got our poor Susie the Boot She believed she should never have gone From the ones she depended upon With her Mission, complete (And a Cork placed, discreet) Susie's Home where she'll always belong. (Collaboration with Jan Allison)


Poem Details | by Alexis Y. |
Categories: humorous,

A WITCH NAMED MAE

       There was once an old witch named Mae
    Who got her spells wrong, every single day
                  Turned her cat into a bat,
                    And sister into a gnat
Salem found out, now she's a horse and eats hay







Alexis Y

10-23-16


Poem Details | by Michael Nibert |
Categories: goodbye, kiss, lyric,

3 shorties

What is a kiss? To some a false pretension,
but to those who seek the lust of love,
sweet lips adhere affection.


She went her forgetful way,
she parted the heart of me,
the sting of parting yesterday,
doth haunt for all to see.


Inheritance, that gift of diverse sources,
from parents attributed, determines some courses.
DNA and the genes from one to another,
contoured in the lineage of sister and brother.
Death may award too, a charitable present,
untimely to some, to others expectant.