As Michael performed his routine
and belted out hit ‘Billy Jean’
When he grabbed his crotch
His voice rose one notch
Some critics deemed his moves obscene!
There once was a farmer named Brock
Who was proud of his timely cock.
‘Cept it rose too early
Surprising his Shirley
On the day we turned back the clock.
There once was a cougar named Rose
who kept the young men on their toes.
Working in her garden
they'd say "beg your pardon
I'll bet you could use a good hose!"
for Bawdy Limericks Two contest
sponsored by Roy Jerden
There was a young lady named Rose,
who developed a run in her hose.
When her big toe stuck out;
she got zapped with the gout:
Now what Rosie does best,
is to limp all about.
It's my desire to grace a Pink Rose
Scented attraction, attracts my nose
Gardener man in me sees
Scents sensed so wonderfully
Natures stem to the Rose grows
Blowing a Kiss
When irksome day, off tangles, comes unstuck
As the sun, behind a blushing sea, ducks
Thoughts of you I sorely miss
Pep me up to blow this kiss
To find you stooping , a red rose, to pluck.
For: PD's 'Any rose' Contest
4th Aug 12
There was an old farmer whose name was O'Gable
He kept twenty equines cooped up in a stable
For hours he would stoop
To shovel mounds of poop
He don't smell like a rose, old Farmer O'Gable.
© ELR 2013
There was an optician somewhat blind
Whose patients found him easy to malign.
So he gave rose-colored glasses
A move that calmed the masses.
Now his practice has become sublime.
Poor little girl couldn't smell the rose
She was clogged up blocked in her nose
picked it clean
What nobody sees nobody knows
there was a lady named Mystic Rose
she kept people upon their toes
don't’ try to get in her head
her thing is hidden it’s said
your curiosity will only grow
A bed of rose petals Hazel sprawls
bed started collapsing then falls
bridegroom heated with anger
then looked at each in laughter
she wanted pickles and ice cream balls
Contest Name: L&H Limericks
Sponsor: Catie Lindsey
My bride and I on a pub crawl
Near a bar my brain can't recall
I'm thinking "thorned flower"
Which spot dear Rose sells the alcohol?
Staring at the shy pale moon*
I came to realize rather soon
That without you on my side
My sorrow wasn’t able to hide
That bright night of month June!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
27 MARCH 2014
*Inspired by a Limerick written
by Mystic Rose!
Your attention is on rose, mine sticks to the sunflower
you long to reap my tenderness without being the sower
I respect letters not the internet
I demand limericks not just sonnets
my perspective to you is clever but lacks much power.
She watched, as he rose to attention
Her desire was too hot to mention
From pink lips passion flows
She reaches for his hose
A bit short, he needs an extension
Not a limerick guy, I hope I got it right.
For Roy Jergen's Bawdy, Bawdy, bawdy miss Clawdy contest.
Time is driven in a brand new Rose Royce
calendar gives notice with a happy voice
nothing serious at stake
bring and let’s cut the cake
a cycle is covered for all to rejoice.
There's a mysterious lady here on The Soup
Mystic Rose is her name and here's the scoop
A neighbour of mine
This vision divine
Maybe we'll we meet one day over a bowl of soup
© Jack Ellison 2015
Once there was a dame called Rose Mary”the charter”
“Man with a monkey face, elastic arm” her character
Iron man, He Man, Superman,
Spider man, are great power men
Bloody patent this character, for trillion dollars sure!
Could it be that spring is in the air
No worries about the news, not a care
Think I'll run naked
That'll surely shake 'em
Through the streets wearing just a rose in my hair
Once there was a man called Formula “the mass”
his philosophy changed none: fellow ruled the mass
“Fragrance your thought for
Sweet rose your heart, dear!”
Bloody how sweet is formula’s spell to rule the mass!
This Canadian lady’s name is Vienna.
It’s the same as the largest town in Austria.
Where she comes from up north,
her writings are brought forth.
They are among the best in North America.
go through the time archway
away from the omens bay
ahead awaits a rose of indigo
It hurts if canker cuts a rose
Or the moon behind cloud's kerchief goes'
We are that sensitive.
Therefore o God why give
Any pretty girl a runny nose?
Gonna find out the mystique of Mystic Rose
Meeting for coffee, will let you know how it goes
Her deep down secrets
And her plans most recent
To do her bidding as she administers mind control
© Jack Ellison 2015