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Limerick Poems About Retirement | Retirement Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: retirement,

Hot Damn



Retirement, aw yes, looked forward to this time A cottage on the beach, that would have been fine But instead here I am With you guys, hot damn! Greatest friends I've ever had, so sweet and so kind © Jack Ellison 2015

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Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: retirement,

Ahhh Retirement



This life of retirement sure is a blast But can never remember when I went last Tried to act coyly And not to be noisy Then bombs away like a huge birthday bash


Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: funny, life

Retirement and the Mountains

Retirement in the Mountains

There once was an old mountain man.
He hunted and lived off the land.
He always felt fine.
When he danced in moonshine.
So he danced and imbibed like he planned.

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
March 11, 2010

Poetic form:  Limerick


Poem Details | by Mitch White |
Categories: satire

Foolproof

I lost my job two years ago today
Unemployment ran out sometime in May
Saving cans you know
Still play the Lotto
My little retirement plan, per se



Poem Details | by JEAN MURRAY |
Categories: animal, retirement, sad love,

RETIRED RAM

There once was a ram who retired,
who really was terribly tired.
Having serviced the lot,
he should have have been shot.
But the gun thankfully backfired.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: retirement,

Still At It At 80



Believe it or not, I just acquired a new client Still at it at 80, something's out of alignment Should have hung up my mouse Talents have yet to head south So, long as I'm breathing, still working on refinement


Poem Details | by Andrew Crisci |
Categories: friendship, funny,

EH, PAL WHAT ARE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING

Eh, pal what are your chances of winning?
Ah, you could have banked all this saving
for an early retirement...
to cherish that sentiment!
When you're completely broke, start cringing!


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: retirement,

A Happy Retirement



Where can I go to buy some excitement Is there a shop where I can get a new alignment Would pay big money In fact dollars by the tunny To experience the joys of a happy retirement


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: age,

A Mutiny

Lived eight years in a retirement community Best eight years, so thankful for the opportunity Elderly ladies clamoured around me Best looking oldster they ever did see Had to beat them off with a stick to avoid a mutiny Never too old!


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Mutiny



Lived eight years in a retirement community Best eight years, so thankful for the opportunity Elderly ladies clamoured around me Best looking oldster they ever did see Had to beat them off with a stick to avoid a mutiny


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

After Taxes - Pet Hate

After taxes, our money's all spent.
We can't save for our own retirement.
I've got a big axe
to grind! Income tax
isn't paid by our own president!


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: death, depression, food, life, peace, perspective, retirement,

I Scream

The stars outshine a pale moonbeam
We try in vain to touch our dream
We live each day
To hope and pray
We shall end it all with ice cream!


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: happy,

Stroking My Goatee



Retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be Finding things to occupy my mind is key Like chasing young fillies Plying them with lilies And watch them melt and stroke my goatee


Poem Details | by Larry Bradfield |
Categories: humorous,

Rudolph's Retirement

Old Rudolph sired a reindeer last June
In hopes Santa would retire him soon
But the young one's red nose winks
Like a brothel's red light blinks
So they tied him outside the saloon

12-14-18
For  contest Funny Reindeer Limerick for Tania Kitchin


Poem Details | by Kenneth Cheney |
Categories: humor, sick, truth,

Viral Economy

My retirement statement just came to me
Looks like I’m working till I’m eighty- three
My monies all gone
It didn’t take long
Vanished in a viral economy


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: retirement,

My Mind's In Decline



At this late stage, should retire my mind Still designing posters, making errors is a sign Once very sharp Missing parts But my poetry is still clicking, that part's still fine


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: retirement,

My Happy Pills



Must take my “happy pills” twice a day Or another collapse will be on its way Nothing serious Don't get supercilious Unless I bash my beano if off-target I'll stray


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: retirement, women,

The Gold Watch

A spinster whom just earned her pension
Faced her fate with some apprehension
Though never a bride
She still had her pride
But old men can't jump to attention!


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: retirement,

A Bit Off Line



Pay no attention I'm a bit off line A bit off centre it could be the wine Or might be my arm pits Or maybe my bollocks Perhaps it was that bucket of turpentine


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: retirement,

Our Happiest Time



Lived in a retirement community for 8 years Happiest time for we two and a bunch of peers Had to move away A very sad day It's not been the same since the first pioneers