While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,
his head bowed in prayer
at this somber affair
to pay last respects to his wife!
There once was a Bird named Cher
who's resolution was not to swear
she duct taped her beak
where not a word could leak
and fluttered her wings in prayer
Every time I take a step,
I end up falling down.
Legs flying throw the air,
Making me look like a clown.
Though if I jump up in the sky,
Holding a simple prayer in my mind.
Only to land on my behind!:-)
There was an old sailor who liked to swear.
And his rot-gut rum he was happy to share.
A cleric aimed to make him repent
But saw the sailor as wholly content.
Now the two are buddies bereft of a prayer.
Limerick : Once a Cossack in tundra cassock
Once a Cossack in tundra cassock
Crept to spy on his wife : got a shock
She lay stooped in prayer
Without a stitch on her
Guess whose head was on the butcher’s block ?
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
May I humbly say a word
Why you make my life so hard
Though I pray for your mercy
Never you send returns I see
Is it not quite unfair my Lord
It hurts if canker cuts a rose
Or the moon behind cloud's kerchief goes'
We are that sensitive.
Therefore o God why give
Any pretty girl a runny nose?
Beautiful Linda became a nun,
prayed in the Chapel forgiving John
who swore her faithfulness
with very solemn words...
she did not know that he was a con!
The feature this month is swimwear,
An answer to many a prayer:
Men shell out good loot
To eye a swimsuit,
Preferring the babe was all bare.
This past week it was raining cats and dogs,
prayed about it to not get so annoyed,
one car totaled other in infirmary,
husband tomorrow having triple bypass surgery,
Meow, Arf, Splat go land some more in the bog.
There once lived a friar,Thomas of Aquino
in latin,did his poetry flow
In a prayer anapestic
this form was to tick
until Lear gave AABBA ,a go
He prayed about how to invest.
God gave him the answer ‘twas best.
Touch the lives of the people
dwelling under the steeple.
Then all of your days will be blessed.
This young man who played the piano.
Knew something had to be done pronto!
So during the prayer
When no one's aware.
He zipped pants right up with a gusto!
*True story Limerick
Horn Weather Limerick
Power failure all of us just did receive
Lights went out and from us would leave
And then to God we gave Him a prayer
For lights to come back on everywhere
Are now on and no longer will we grieve.
James Swerious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
It’s really an absolute zoo,
the driving in Lima, Peru.
Keep emotions in check.
Pray you don’t have a wreck.
Breathe a sigh of relief when you’re through!
It does not matter how much I pray
God does not give me the time of day
That "omnipotent" snot
Did not try to save squat
When my iPhone drowned yesterday!
A Sloth's Life
I'm your lil sloth hanging on a prayer
The bump on the log without any flair
Hail Mary full of grace
Leave me from this rat race
Indifferent I suspend of any care
A Zuni who prays every day
Saw a cloud in the sky back in May
He yelled, "Do or die!"
Which made the cloud cry
And that's why its still raining today.
John Rutter Choir Practice
I had found precious singing full of feeling;
Concentrating on each note as if kneeling;
In a prayer,
While being there;
Drew in attention with sounds so appealing.
FRAGILE , HANDLE WITH PRAYER
God made us able and agile,
But life is fragile,
Handle it with prayer,
He will always be there,
You will sense him from the surrounding dazzle!
I do not like how bed bugs prey
They feast upon us night and day
Praise God be kind
Grant peace of mind
And blow those blood-suckers away!
God With Someone
When God with someone your will share;
You do become free from sin and despair,
And meet a need;
With His food feed;
Communicate with Him in each prayer.
God is near, here, there and everywhere.
AFV proves that we all love to see
Children and pets goofing up on TV
We can't help but wonder
How little ones blunder
Whilst God is laughing at blunders by Thee!
With Precious Love and Care
Here is what will happen with Prayer,
God assured us is certain to be there,
Read Bible page;
With all of His precious love and care.