Limerick Poems About Mothers | Mother Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: birth, body, humorous,

FLOOD WARNING COLLABORATION - INSPIRED BY CONTEST

I crossed my legs but there was a flood Blushing red I hope folks understood But my waters had burst And the baby's my first Guess I'm ready to start motherhood! NOT FOR CONTEST WRITTEN on 27TH August 2016 BY JAN ALLISON My babe arrived as hungry as a horse As a good mother, I fed him, of course When my breasts began to fill Another flood was about to spill Until my child suckled with great force. WRITTEN ON 08/27/16 BY LIN LANE The first twelve months went mighty quick Time flying by lickity split Crawls out of bed Sits on mom's head A young fireman squirting his stick WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY TIM SMITH Hay, thought I heard another sound of thunder roar Eeh gad, seems to be another two babies more They all have lots of hair Mother-in-law beware Now I am having triplets let me out the door WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY EVE T M C He was born without a suntan And didn’t favor the milk man Birthed on a polar bear rug Full beard on his tiny mug Holding a harpoon like Tarzan! WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER 8/27/2016 Oh my! What will people think? My baby doesn’t favor his dad’s wink I can always claim in shame He favors my grandma’s frame On my mother’s side is large and pink WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER 8/27/2016 One baby after another I sure am a busy mother I cross my knees Whenever I sneeze Out one end or the other! WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE It’s all my darn uterus’s fault, Can’t bring my crying to a halt, No more sex with my hubby, I’m just too tired and chubby, This babe’s an exhausting result! Ice came out sucking a pacifier, Posted sign, “Eskimo nanny for hire!”, But when warm milk is felt, Baby started to melt, Naughty nanny immediately fired! The ice came out with a binky, And a diaper pretty stinky! Eskimo baby is she, Could it even be a he? It’s too frozen and all wrinkly! ALL WRITTEN BY LAURA LOO One by one they came out, midwife slapped 'em and into the cradle she packed 'em father blew candle out and exclaimed with a shout " Just like moths, it's the light that attracts 'em!" WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY Making babies was so much fun Now my boobies reach to my tum I can't even sneeze or cough It set's my weak bladder off.. I'd better stick to coke and rum WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS AWARDED POEM OF THE WEEK ON 28TH AUGUST - THE HONOUR IS SHARED BY US ALL.SPECIAL THANKS TO LIN LANE FOR STARTING THE COLLABORATION I'm feeling like a slot machine My wheels stopped on three tangerines Babies falling like rain It's no longer a strain That last one looks just like my spleen WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER I thought I was going to have two But now I don't even have a clue It feels like maybe four I can't take it no more I have five months to go til I'm due WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y I was rushed to the hospital gate not yet due, but I just couldn't wait labor's water broke through elevator broke too flooded stairwells to room did create! WRITTEN BY SANDRA HAIGHT


Poem Details | by Daniel Turner |
Categories: autumn, beautiful, change, nature,

September

September lovely September
Immerse us in colorful splendor
The next thirty days
Please thrill and amaze
With beauty we'll always remember

September lovely September
Embrace Mother Nature so tender
She may blush bright red
Turning down flower beds
While summer honorably surrenders

September lovely September
Full moon of harvest you'll render
Though lovers may stare
And dreamers may dare
You'll always be autumn's defender
 

   original poem by Daniel Turner


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

YEUK UPDATED - COLLABORATION WITH ROB BETTRIDGE

My sister Susie loved picking her nose To her chagrin her little finger froze It was stuck so far Doc used a crowbar Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose! Our Mother, in a fit of Pique At Susie's antics with her Beak Said, "Right my girl" And in a whirl Grounded Susie for a Week Resenting her fate, in bed Rebellion sparked inside her head When all were asleep She'd dress and creep Though the window and escape instead A branch near her window hung Which to its foliage she clung The branch was weak And with a shriek She fell into a pile of Dung The house woke up only to find Poor Susie in a dreadful Bind She looked quite a mess In her state of distress That our Mother went out of her mind "A School for young Ladies, I'll choose" One, her wildness, I hope will defuse And instil, at a pace, Deportment and Grace To refine the coarse ways of our Suz' Packed off to be 'Finished' she went Determined to never repent Despite all opinions It's just like 'St Trinians' And for Susie, was quite an event Susie boarded at ‘Saint Eloise’ It was there she got covered in fleas Once she dived in a ditch To be rid of that itch Oh, you should see the state of her knees! When in the first deportment class Poor Susie fell straight on her ‘ass’ When she exposed her behind The other girls were unkind So Susie began passing gas They had to open the windows and doors Crawl about and move on all fours To get rid of the smell That came straight from hell Staff told ‘Susie’ no more encores! Her Classmates all thought it a Hoot When she lit the gas that she'd shoot She then vented a Storm That Blew up her Dorm Which got our poor Susie the Boot She believed she should never have gone From the ones she depended upon With her Mission, complete (And a Cork placed, discreet) Susie's Home where she'll always belong. 20th January 2016 Collaboration J Allison and R Bettridge


Poem Details | by Sean Kelly |
Categories: funny, parody,

RETALIATORY REPERSUSSIONS

 A young fertile mother begat

Triplets , called Tim , Tom  and  Tat

Great  fun  at  breeding

Confusion  at  feeding

When   she  found  there  was  no tit~for~tat.


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: tribute,

Connie Marcum Wong

              My dear friend Connie Marcum Wong planted a rainbow tree
                   Under Luna's night she wrote a God's Kind Of Poetry
                              Embracing mother Earth she stood
                                In life's garden- bird in a wood
                    Laid golden eggs in silver beds for all of us for free









A Tribute to Connie Marcum Wong,Moon Maiden of Poetry


Poem Details | by John Trusty |
Categories: funny, political

ALTOID SALES ERRUPTED




Bill (in) Hillary? A turgid question.
Monica eased prostatic congestion.
His Altoids improved the taste,
while her dress absorbed the waste.
Her mother kept the prized possession!


*For the “Political Woes” contest   You can’t make this stuff up.


Poem Details | by Laura Loo |
Categories: humorous, mother, wedding,

Mother In Law

A l i e n a t e me from the mother-in-law, malignant by nature with many flaws- “Oh don’t try to flatter me! You’re inurbane, can’t you see!” I surely failed getting luck of the draw! His mother can sure be quite capricious, and most of the time can be malicious- “Please gravitate off the earth, you d i s s i p a t e your own worth… and your apple pie isn’t delicious!” I liked her in a transitory way, until she RUINED my own wedding day- Tripped me walking down the aisle, perspicuous! Saw her smile---- :) as a scapegoat she blamed it on Aunt May! Ten Word Challenge Contest Sponsor: John Hamilton Date Written: September 5, 2016


Poem Details | by Janet Eaton |
Categories: cat, funny, horror,

The Cat And The Rat

There once was Princess the cat
Who found a big fat hairy rat
She brought it in to play
But mother said no way
And found her a very big metal bat


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: woman,

Long Live the Queen

Though her reign has had rarely a flaw, England’s queen once or twice dropped her jaw. She’s enjoyed a long life As both mother and wife. Not so much as a mother-in-law! For the Long Live the Queen Contest of Judy Konos


Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: confusion, lifewords, me, world,

Slam Hurts!!!!!....

                 Slammed by
Mother...President...Teacher...Poet...&...Form


            A MOTHERS LOVE
Mother always called me a lousy kid, with a shove
I was the only kid she wanted to get rid of
On my head she always smacked me hard.
She would always slam me calling  me a retard
My mother gave me the best slamming love.

((( my mother the best slammer there ever was)))
_______________________________________________
           WE ARE THE WORLD
Slam back at any country, at any given event
I feel bad for any so called President.
"WE THE PEOPLE" the Republic and the Democrat.
Slamming each other talking crap
In a world full of slam and argument.

((( The world toughest fight is slam not war )))
_______________________________________________                 
              TEACHERS PET
Our teachers kept on and on how we where wrong with a fuzz.
She just stood there and slammed each and everyone of us.
Making us write an essay on broken rules.
Kept us all after school calling us stupid fools
Who knew teachers where allowed to slam and cuss?

((( Teachers words of slam can ruin any future )))
______________________________________________
             ROAD BLOCK
Have you ever heard of a poet blocker.
All they are is a slam stocker
They over abuse their blocking right.
Trying to make other poets fight.
Always trying to slam a point across, like a mocker.

((( Hating against any form of poetry is a slam it self )))
_____________________________________________
            JUDGING CONTEST
Can you guess that slam is just a risky business
Picking out the best slam words from the rest.
Testing out a form we don't know how to let it  flow.
Darn the soup for putting slam on the box below.
Even the best have join my slamming contest.

((( Thank you Soup for SLAMMING us with your A-Z list-form)))
_____________________________________________


Poem Details | by Erin Soares-Anselmi |
Categories: light, marriage,

Pride and Arrogance's Wedding

Pride & Arrogance’s Wedding

Pride was looking for a partner to share his life.
He found Arrogance and asked her to be his wife.

 This would be the grandest affair no one could beat.
Anybody who was somebody would fill the seats.

Sarcasm would be the maid of honor Arrogance’s best friend
While Pride’s buddy Boastful would do the honors of stepping in.

Pompous, Pretentious, and Presumptuous found their places
While Vanity and Bossy were screaming in each other’s faces

Smug walked by with Snotty his wife of many years
As Arrogance’s mother Egotist tried not to shed a tear.

As Arrogance came in the room all stopped and stared
To witness true love Pride and Arrogance shared.

Pride took Arrogance by the hand to the alter
Looking stiff and stoic like the rock of Gibraltar 

The wedding was beautiful but just a little odd
But everybody knew they were like two peas in a pod

 They now live in a town called Imso Crass
While Arrogance works hard Pride sits on his ass

Arrogance, if she only knew her fate with Pride
She would have never agreed to be by his side.

But now there’s a baby whom she must take care.
Little chaos born on her birthday they now share.

Erin Soares-Anselmi
01/06/14


Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: bird, fear, growing up,

Sobbin Robin

Posted on 8/20/2013
Updated 8/21/2013

Sobbin’ Robin kept hoppin’ around.
His beak in a downward frown.
First time out of the nest
Unsure of his Baby Bird Quest
His meek chirping was his only sound.

Sobbin’ Robin was too scared to fly.
So scared that he didn’t even try.
He chirped out a loud sigh
That shifted the sky
And a breeze stopped his next chirpy cry.

Unknown to Scared Sobbin’ Robin
Was that Mother Nature kept him hoppin’
When the wind caught his wings
He started to sing
And now flies with birds sans any sobbin'.


Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: allegory, epic, family, father,

She really did get this call

I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
  
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,

        “He’s here at the bar
  
        Quick bring us your car,

Your husband just got in a brawl”


Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: nonsense,

Trouble In Nonsense Alley


Our two funny limmerists are at it again Clucking about like two mother hens Jack's chemise is just wrong Can't look at John's thong Hey ya two cowpokes, when's this all going to end


Poem Details | by kasim ishmael |
Categories: dedication, depression, devotion, forgiveness,

Secret

I search for happiness
But never found it again
Though it will be pursued
It will never be attain

I got lost a long time ago
And I give my heart away
It’s been broken to badly
It didn't mend up till today

She left me alone in the dark
Didn't wait to see if I was alive
alone i suffered everyday waiting
For peace of mind to arrive

And it never did came
I would lookout the window
Asking god to please help me
And just make my misery go

But the goodness in life
Has turns his back on me
And left me stuck in a time
To suffer for eternity

Why she walk out the hospital
Why couldn't she see my pain? 
Didn't she care that she might?
Never see me alive again

Now I’m scared for forever
Domed to face the world alone
Never will find a resting heart
And for ever my soul will roam

My heart is empty 
But fill with love to give
But who is going to love me
A man who’s badly defective

So the long road of life
I must travel without love
I know my mother loves me
That the only love, I’m sure off

I wish to find love again
But afraid to get rejected
Then my heart will be broken
And die when it gets infected

Right now I love some one
And keep it secret
And talk to her everyday
But will never reveal it

Will always keep her in my heart
But can never have her in my life
And I know one day I will die
If she becomes another one’s wife

And through this lonely journey
Will have lots of obstacles
Some times when I get tired
I have an ice cream Popsicle


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, sin, work,

A Halo

There was once was a lady from town
Who wore a halo like a crown
Told her daughter-in-law
Dresses should wear like squaw
Wore one to work and naked frowned

The loom grabbed her dress and wham bam
Naked from the waist down~life in jam
Supervisor gave coat
Took her home and I quote
"I put my blue jeans on grand slam"

My mother was a very stern believer that women should wear dresses..
My brother married late in life and his wife worked in the weaving department..
She did a job called filling batteries..She had to walk between the looms to do
her job..They had suggested to the women that they should wear tight fitting 
pants or blue jeans..To please my mother she made her a new dress and wore 
it to work..First thing, it got caught..It ripped it and her slip off..She was left 
standing naked.

  

Sponsor: Black Eyed Susan
Contest: Any New Limerick


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: boy, humorous, teenage,

Confessions of a Teenage Boy 3

 My mother said something I couldn't ignore
 at the dinner table that shocked me to the core.
   Okay, but I think you'll find
     any more and I'll go blind...
"no silly, I said you need to masticate more!"


               February 2016



Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: weather,

Old Mother Nature



Okay, Okay, enough already with this crap Spring can come anytime now, just look at a map It's not the north pole It's taking it's toll Old Mother Nature must be having a nap


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor, mother daughter,

Limericks croises: Once a Mother Professor and Daughter

Limericks croisés : Once a Mother Professor and Daughter
      
     for Farid & Zafir

Once (a) Mother Professor and Daughter
Came to Paris to see a Poet Mister
He took them on a lope
From Opera* to Procope*
Till their feet got thicker with blister

He took them to see Doctor Goethe :
Said Devil was shooting thorns from Under
They went to Mephisto*
To calm down their sore toe
« Une belle épine du pied , Mister »

« Vous m’enlevez »,* said learned Mother.
« How can we repay you », said Daughter.
« Not a care, I dare hope,
I’ll take you to Procope»
The bill for trout, veg-dish and butter

Came to more than what they could then pay.
« Don’t give us this ol’ Napoléon lay ! 
You’re not wearing Bicorne*! »
« Yes, but for Devil’s thorn ! »
« Leave us your Mephisto shoes or pray ! » 

So Mind-Full Poet took them upstair(s)
To prostrate long at Table Voltaire*
Philosopher weighed plea
Said : « This Poet like Me ! »
Mephisto shoes freed from Procope lair !


Resources

•	Opéra : The National Academy of Music in Paris where ballets are still performed ; opera performances having been moved to the new concert hall in the Place de la Bastille.
•	Procope : One of the oldest cafés in Paris, founded in 1686 (and opened in 1689) by a Sicillian whose Frenchified name was « Procope », at 13, rue de la Comédie Française, Paris-75006.
•	Mephisto(pheles) : In Goethe’s play : Faust, one of the principal devilsHappens to be a brand name for shoes under the pretexte that it is better to have the Devil under-foot rather than in the boudoir.
•	« Vous m’enlevez une belle épine du pied » : French for, according to Collins (bi-lingue) Dictionary : « You have got
me out of a spot» Literally means : « You have extracted a painful thorn from (the sole of) my foot»
•	Bicorne : two-cornered hat
•	Napoléon lay : Napoléon as a young officer is supposed to have left his « bicorne » hat as a pledge for the meals he ate there and could not settle with cashThe hat is displayed in a glass case at the entrance till this day, for the future emperor had far more interesting things to do – like conquering a continent – and could not take the time off to reclaim it.
*       Voltaire : The great French philosopher, author of the satirical
novel : Candide, became a Freemason just four months
before his demiseHe was a frequent visitor to the Procope, 
and his table is still displayed on the first floor of the
café-restaurant at the top of the ornate stairway 
The décor of the place is preserved exactly as it was realised in 1835.


© TWignesan – Paris, 2013


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, funny, silly, mum,

Why There's No Baby Planes

On a flight to Auckland one day A mother over hearing her son say Cats and Dogs can have babies Can planes do that maybe Ask the attendant, see what she says So off to the attendant he asks Is it possible that planes do this task Did your mother tell you To ask me if it's true Tell her to tell and not mask As the little boy was walking away Following him the attendant did say No baby planes you will find Qantas pulls out on time Ask mum to explain this today . Written about a Joke I heard ;-)


Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny

Tubby Triplet Troubles

Retaliatory Repercussions
                         by Sean Kelly

A young fertile mother begat
Triplets, called Tim, Tom and Tat
Great fun at breeding
Confusion at feeding
When she found there was no tit-for-tat
   ( Chosen because it made me laugh..Sean always does...)


Tubby Triplet  Trouble

The triplets became very fat
Except for the one called Tat
He became very slim
"Cause he went to the gym
Tim and Tom thought him a brat

The fat ones started to cry
Thought about giving up pie
When Tat found a girl
And gave her a whirl
Their cravings started to die

For the Double Limerick contest...


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: boyfriend, funny,

And Now, For the REST of the Story - 'NR'

So when-Jack-and-Jill reached the top of the hill
Jack couldn't stand still (Tried to snatch a cheap thrill)
Kissed Jill on the mouth
(Things quickly went south)
Then Jack said to Jill...'Can looks really KILL?'

Okay, naughty boys and good girls
Let's give Mother Goose one more whirl...

Once the elderly, eccentric Miss Muffet
Informed neighbors: 'Kiss-my-keester and stuff it!'
Thus poor Charlotte the Spider
Dropped and plopped down beside her
And Miss Muffet squashed her flat with her tuffet...

3/19/2013
The title is a direct quote from the late, great Paul Harvey: Radio and Television commentator...




Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny, son, old, old,

MOTHER GOOSE'S THE PIPER'S SON


I read a rhyme and I was so vexed
I feel that Old Mother Goose was hexed,
Didn't condemn this thief
And this brought me grief,
But he got beat up by Old Man Tex.


Tom the Piper's son stole pig and ran
This little boy acts like a big man,
Protective services
Moves him from premises,
Now the Piper smokes all that he can.


He sent his son Tom to go and steal
I wouldn't mind if 'twas for a meal,
But we all knew that it
Was to support his habit,
I think he should be locked up for real.


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: love,

Carmen Lucia Ruby

                                Peter loved his wife Carmen Lúcia
                             Their love 's color was tranquil fuchsia 
                                 Their love took shape in Mogok
                                    In depth of the Mother rock
                                     Big red ruby-poem of Gaia










HISTORY
The Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.Chas received one of the world's largest and finest ruby gemstonesThe 23.1 carats (4.62 g) Burmese ruby, set in a platinum ring with diamonds, was donated by businessman and philanthropist Peter Buck in memory of his late wife Carmen LúciaThis gemstone displays a richly saturated red color combined with an exceptional transparencyThe finely proportioned cut provides vivid red reflectionsThe stone was mined from the Mogok region of Burma (now Myanmar) in the 1930s.




Precious Stones and Gems - Poetry Contest 
Sponsor:Anthony Slausen
Poet: Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
Form: Limerick
Theme: Love, Ruby, Precious stone


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, child, humorous,

HOW COULD I RESIST THIS CHALLENGE - UPDATED COLLABORATION WITH ROB BETTRIDGE

Little Susie had peed her new pants Such an unfortunate circumstance In front of her mother She blushed a red colour … Then invented the ‘Wet knickers’ dance! Mum's reaction to this was not cool As Sue pranced around like a fool To add to her woe More started to flow Down her leg and formed into a Pool Susie knew right away, she was Toast With her face turning pale as a ghost When the Cork in her ass Shot out with the gas And Mother got blasted the most Desperately needing a breath of fresh air We ran out of the house in a state of despair It is far from a joke To splutter and choke On a stench that melts noses and frizzles our hair In disgrace, she stomped off to the shed Where a cunning plan entered her head Her gas mask condition Needed stiff competition So she's joined a Bad Ass Commune instead Sue was accepted as one of the troupe After she curdled Cow’s milk into soup And once it was dark She thought it a lark To 'Blue Flame' her gas for the group In a national contest for which she was keen She entered to take on the best there has been But to Susie’s surprise They gave the Top Prize To a bloke farting 'God Save The Queen' 'Porton Down' is off limits so no one can see The 'Boffins' who work in white coats, secretly MI6 sniffed around And Susie was found Then Pressed into service as their new WMD Collaboration with Rob Bettridge


Poem Details | by Laura Loo |
Categories: fish, humorous,

Jim And His Fish-For The Limerick Contest

Jim And His Fish
Limerick Contest Sponsor: Jan Alison Christmas was just around the corner, Mother had the video recorder, Jim fell in the toilet, As mother records it, Fish in his nose what a great explorer! Date Written: December 24, 2015


Poem Details | by bradley smith |
Categories: life, nostalgia, school, school,

courage

The music coarses through my veins
As i run down the street
i don't need to look back 
to hear the pounding of the feet

My mind races as i sprint
my lungs struggling to continue
but i hear death come closer
not knowing what to do

i see the glint of metal
as he races after me
not fighting for his honor
it is just blood he wants to see

is this how a hero dies, i ask myself boldly
is this what happens when you refuse to back down
my heart starts to fail, my feet start to slow
with barely enough energy, to turn myself around

All i ever did
was stand up to that school bully
and it may have been the last thing i do
i now understand quite fully

if only i had stepped down
let him spit and walk away
instead, i had to open my mouth
and so the consequences i must now pay

i muster up the courage
puff out my chest and turn 
but instead of feeling steel
i feel a steady burn

for in my frantic flight
i must have stepped down wrong
for after everything I'd done
i knew that it was sprung

i fall down to the pavement
fearing the very end
that school bully who chose to chase me
would soon learn to comprehend

that i stood up for myself
and would not back down now
i fought back the tears
and stood without a sound

i waited and waited and waited
for the bully to fly around the block
i sat back down and teared up,
as i yanked away the sock

the pain that radiated shot
through my leg and through my bones
anyone one could tell 
from the screeching of my tone

i hobbled to the bus stop
picking out the broken glass
the blood hit the ground
and the ground hit my ass

i sat there in my tears
pondering a lie to tell
one that told nothing of my flight
and one that i could sell

i came home late that night
with relief my mother slept
i hobbled to my bed
and passed out as i wept



Poem Details | by James Andersen |
Categories: fun,

6 Limericks and Some Nonsense

Samuel Pew was a dancing fool
Until he got kicked by a mule
He was never too bright
Now his brain ain't right
But he can still dance the old soft shoe

Jimmy Dechert was a History teacher
His mother wanted him to be a preacher
But he liked to cuss
And he made a Fuss
Now a frown is his prominent feature

Tattle Teeter fell and hurt his peter
Tattling on his friends at the theater
He tripped on a pail
And straddled a rail
Now his voice is a little bit sweeter.

Old Rex never thought about sex 
except when he saw his ex
He was a poor soul
And she was a troll
Every month now he sends her a check

Billy Lando wanted to play piano
But about music he didn't know
His wife called him a puts
And kicked him in the nuts
Now all he can sing is soprano

Stanly Fenny was roasting a weenie
When he saw her in a bikini
He asked "what do you do"
She said "how about you"
And he ran away awfully speedy

A man and a dog were chasing a hog
Around a red barn, they did go.
I watched with hystare
As the dog chased a hare
And the hog ran away with a goat.

Amos Buck didn't have any luck
when he tried to get a meal
He wanted a dish of delicious fish
but had no money to make a deal
So he took a seat down by the creek
with some worms and a rod and reel
He baited his hook and put it in the brook
Then thought he would rather have veal.


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun,

GOURD AND SWORD


                                           My mother was a gourd
                                            My father was a sword
                                              Father kissed mother
                                                He had to shudder
                                        My gourd mother was floored


Poem Details | by Black Eyed Susan |
Categories: nature,

yuck

When Mother Eagle returned with her wormy swag
Each of the eaglets grimaced and gagged
"Eat that slimy thing?
You've got to be kidding!
We'll wait and see what Dad bagged!"


7/29/11

Received 6th place in "Pure Thoughts on Nature" contest


Poem Details | by TE Andre |
Categories: fantasy, giggle, heaven, imagination,

Writer Heaven

I imagine a place where all writers 
Are gathered soon after they die;
I know it's true, (it's in my dreams too) 
So never do I need ask why.

There sit Dickens and Clements and Doyle, 
All sharing a pint at the bar,
While Shelley and Poe exchange stories of woe
And watch all the joy from afar.

Watch Mister Keats dance a ditty 
While Hemmingway drums to keep time,
And old Mother Goose peers down from her roost; 
A brief pause from writing her rhymes.

All these writers of stories and poems,
Too many of them to number
Share and remember their stories forever
In spite of their physical slumber.

I see them watching their stories
Being read over the generations;
It brings them pride that their works survived
And are shared throughout all the nations.

But one thing that brings them amusement
Is to see people study so long;
To explain the intent or what their words meant
when there is no meaning all along.

Sometimes our words have a message.
Sometimes we want to impart
All of our feelings and memories and reelings
To those who share in our heart.

Is it possible some words have no meaning.
What if we simply write what we dream?
And someday, somehow, people will vow
To figure out what my words might mean.

While up in Writer's Heaven, I'll laugh and sing
Because it won't mean anything.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: people, uplifting,

Serenity by Trial

Born without any legs, sweet Irene, a mother and wife, is serene. By accepting her plight, She does more than all right, Saying, “Handicapped? What do you mean?” “Though I’m legless,” she says, “I’m not bound to my bed because I get around! I move quite easily on a board made for me, and I push off with hands to the ground.” “People stare, for they think I’ve been burned by life,” says Irene, “but I’ve learned that for what I’ve gone through a great wisdom grew inside me, and blessings I’ve earned.” Written by Andrea Dietrich for nette onclaud's Serenity Response Poetry Contest I chosecourage to change the things I can (actually this poem focuses on the entire Serenity prayer and not just that one line!)


Poem Details | by Jacob Timme |
Categories: funny, father, father,

The Babies Poo

There was a baby, brand new,
But the father was scared of his poo,
So the father departed,
The mother then started
To clean up the brown baby goo!



Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: funny, humor, mother, wife,

That's What Mothers Are For

Will you choose your mother or me
Asked wife who would not let it be
As I said oh brother
Sought help from another
And I called her mother to see


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

About To Launch A Sputnik



When Mother Nature calls it's best to obey Get your ass in there or there'll be hell to pay Especially in public About to launch a Sputnik Must stay near a poop disposal unit all day © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Mansur Aziz |
Categories: children, inspiration,

The Oath

I told my mother Quran Hadith both
I’ll read everyday, it’s my oath
Timely read and write
Not quarrel fight
Allah! You do my works all easy and smooth


Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny,

MOTHER GOOSE'S OLD LADY

Well I pulled out some Mother Goose rhymes
'Cause I read to my Great-Grand sometimes,
And the rhymes that I read
They were so very dread
Nowadays they'd be considered crimes.


That Old Lady who lived in a shoe
Why didn't somebody tell her "don't screw"
With a whole bunch of kids
And living on the skids,
Then abusing the children, who knew?


Not a Baby Daddy was in port
Did the Cops get them for child support,
What 'bout the welfare check?
No food stamps? what the heck!
Did she trade it for something to snort?



Poem Details | by Charmaine Chircop |
Categories: humorous,

Old Sweet Mary-Jane And Jimmy



Jim's mother in-law old sweet Mary-Jane
accused him again and put him to shame
for leaving his poo
all over her loo
I wonder who pushed her out of the train


Poem Details | by Sara Chansarkar |
Categories: husband, marriage,

Friend or Foe

The man I married, so handsome and young
A drop of sweet sorbet on a parched tongue
I cooked his family traditional dessert one night
“Best I ever ate”, he said with so much delight
Words of praise, so generously he sung

His parents were to visit for lunch on Sunday
I decided to cook the same dessert that day
“Try something simpler, daughter”, his mother said
“Recipes like these, not for a girl newlywed”
Humiliated,sent kicks under the table his way.

Bigger thing is, friends, I will never know
if my eyes ever resembled that of a doe
if my skin was soft and smooth as satin
if my voice was musical like that of a robin
I wonder,did I marry a sweet friend or a foe

Written 06/15/2016












Poem Details | by Shelby Wiser |
Categories: daughter, family,

Finally a mother

Im finally a mother 
I see the good and the bad
Ive been there for you 
through everything 
When i gave birth to you 
was the happiest days of my life
Im never going  leave you 
Baby i just want you to know 
how much your mommy loves 
                  you!!!


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny

I'm Keyless, Chuck

"Hey kids! have you seen the keys for the door I'm sure I put them down there before I'm thinking this place is haunted Or is your mother being taunted Own up, or your backsides are gonna be sore" Why cant I find my keys?


Poem Details | by Anisha Dutta |
Categories: encouraging,

Famous Last Line


                      Famous Last Line

              I once knew a poet named Anisha
             She wrote poems sipping Mimosa.
                    She did not care for critics
                     But she loved Mathematics.
          She solved sums on ordinate-abscissa

         She solved sums on ordinate – abscissa,
        calculated Logarithms-Mantissa.
                 She loved Literature
                  Maths, Science and Nature.
          Her Idol was Great Mother Teressa.

  03/06/16

             First Stanza is original from a Contest and Second one follows.
             Famous Last Line Contest
                       Third Place
     Sponsor Laura Loo


Poem Details | by Caroline Gibbs |
Categories: happiness

The Expected one

Alas! i'm expecting.
Expecting the one...
expected long back.

I accept you,
the expected one.
The one expected long back.


let me give you guys a little meaning of this(for those who found it difficult to 
understand)
a mother expresses her feeling of being pregnant after a long time.
Hope you guys enjoy it :)


Poem Details | by Chris Broyles |
Categories: family, lost love, passion,

Fatherless Dream

The man I will never know
A shadow
Not even a footstep to follow

No memories to rely
Fainted pictures
No reason to cry

Would I be what I am woe
Useless reasonings
For only God would know

My father has gone, passed from sight
Curse death for he hath won the fight

Why then do I search for thee
A heart broken
My mother crying over me

Dreams are not all they are meant to be
False hope
Knowing it wasn't left to me

Not a son to continue on
A blood linage
Lost forever in a fatherless son


Poem Details | by MICHAEL ROGERS |
Categories: allegory, faith, people, social,

broken thighs









                                                        In a misty morn
                                                       as I trottle to work
                                                      Some mean teens
                                                     have nicknamed me:
                                                       YOU STUPID JERK
                                                      They hate four-eyed people
                                                      Respecting Mother Nature
                                                      communing with God
                                                      In the sacristy of his steeple
                                                      Throwing eggs on his face
                                                      to pinch a hidden nerve
                                                     Myron,the 6 footer
                                                    threw me upon the curve
                                                    Above me,this country's flag
                                                    yet they call me a FAG
                                                   YOU'RE TOO WIMPY FOR THE CALL
                                                   as they placed me against the wall
                                                   Numbers outweigh the mild and the meek
                                                  Reasoning can't help as I continue to speak
                                                 All the world belongs to macho guys
                                                 give him a wack and a couple of broken thighs


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: weather,

Mother Nature's Oversight



It's November 27th and it's 52 degrees Fahrenheit This is Canada, what's happening, Mother Nature's oversight? Should be freezing our buns But it's really quite welcome Hope I never wake up from this magical night © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Alan Draeger |
Categories: humor, nonsense, silly,

Massachusetts

In a house in Massachusetts
A wealthy mother of two sits
Her son's in the Sox
Where she has a box
And that's where his sister Sue sits


Poem Details | by charles hice |
Categories: childhood, for children, funny,

FabelFortyFive

 FabelFortyFive 
FabelFortyFive 
 
CharlaXFabels 
 
 
This Limmerick 
 
There was an Old Lady she hailed from Nantucket 
She carried her fish in a red paisley bucket 
She wore her hair up in a honeybun 
She thought it made her quite the looking young 
The Pelican came with a busted wing 
The Old Lady was trying to catch it 
She chased and she chased and she chased it 
She carried a stick made of glass 
She has lippstick it is gloss 
She applies it to snakes and scorpions 
The glass stick not the lipp gloss 
She makes a poor lump of it 
The lipp gloss is read like two lips 
Tulips is many and varied in hue 
She walks in the way of the shrew 
She carries her stick to save birds 
The bird not the woman in the shoe 
That was Old Mother Hubbard 
She has tea in her cupboard 
The Nantucket not Hubbard 
She makes it in gold bullion cubes 
The tea not the shoes 
Millions of bags are hidden away 
Shoe bags not tea bags 
she has shoes for her children 
Yes Hubbard 
In the Cubbard 
The teas are all black and some green 
The shoes are all pink 
Her children are blue 
The Lady from Nan not the Shoe lady too 
The dog eats better than the yew 
A bone from the woman 
Hubbard not Joan 
There was an old woman from Nantucket 
Joan Hubbard was from Shoe Rhode Island 
She kept teas in the millions 
The Nantucket lady not Hubbard 


Poem Details | by Syd Floyd |
Categories: people

limericks on things i find funny

there was a young lad name of squee
whose friend was a teddy named shmee
his neighbor crazy
his mother was hazy
his father just hated that squee

there was a man named jhonny c.
who went on a murderous spree
he often spoke scary
and felt he should carry
the burden of befriending squee

zim is an "invader" from irk
whose completely obsessed with his work
he also is crazy
his robot is CRAZY
i'm happy it's back on t.v.

please don't sue me


Poem Details | by Rachel Towner |
Categories: for children,

Little Bill

There once was a  fellow named Bill
Who like cherry, and lime, and plum pills
He ate everyday
So his mother would say
"You eat too muchBring out the drill."