There once was a woman named Linda
Who would keep a clean hacienda
Till four children she bore
And then bore she one more...
She now has a different agenda!
In flagranti with an unknown lover
Sprang apart from underneath the cover
How his wife she did shout
Now his secret was out -
His hidden lover was her own mother!
4th March 2015
A young fertile mother begat
Triplets , called Tim , Tom and Tat
Great fun at breeding
Confusion at feeding
When she found there was no tit~for~tat.
At the Zoo we were forced to withdraw
after we saw the beast that we saw
We got such a fright
But found out later that night
It was only Larrys Mother-in-law!
Enter in Zany Zoo if it qualifies.
When I was a teen, I would munch
My way through the whole Sunday brunch.
I'd destroy that buffet,
Then as we walked away,
I'd ask my poor mother, "When's lunch?"
Hill, By and Blow - the three Billies brothers
Were constantly fighting each other
Hill was the oldest
Blow was the boldest
By was the baby by another mother
May 5, 2018
Hillbillies, Bybillies and Blowbillies Contest, by Caren Krutsinger
There once was Princess the cat
Who found a big fat hairy rat
She brought it in to play
But mother said no way
And found her a very big metal bat
Bill (in) Hillary? A turgid question.
Monica eased prostatic congestion.
His Altoids improved the taste,
while her dress absorbed the waste.
Her mother kept the prized possession!
*For the “Political Woes” contest You can’t make this stuff up.
With only one look it ruptured my spleen
The ugliest creature I've ever seen
You'd know if you ever saw
It's called my mother-in-law
And smells like the gas produced from a bean
Though her reign has had rarely a flaw,
England’s queen once or twice dropped her jaw.
She’s enjoyed a long life
As both mother and wife.
Not so much as a mother-in-law!
For the Long Live the Queen Contest of Judy Konos
The old woman in the shoe scandal
who had those kids, too much to handle
Now that they are full grown
and she is home alone,
she'll down-size to a sandal.
Hey Son, I wrote this to warn you
In your whole life, many girls are coming through
You might have only girl to love her much over
But you have to remember that do not hurt your mother
She is my only girl too...
Our two funny limmerists are at it again
Clucking about like two mother hens
Jack's chemise is just wrong
Can't look at John's thong
Hey ya two cowpokes, when's this all going to end
I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,
“He’s here at the bar
Quick bring us your car,
Your husband just got in a brawl”
Oceans, woods, abused, confused!
Mother nature not amused!
Her bellies aching.
Mistakes we're making!
Time pollution was defused!
There is an old man of the ocean,
To marine life is his devotion.
We have to put right,
Marine waters plight.
Or suffer our own devolution!
My mother said something I couldn't ignore
at the dinner table and my jaw hit the floor.
Okay, but I think you'll find
any more and I'll go blind...
"no silly, I said you need to masticate more!"
Hiding in mummy's tummy, kicking happily away
I'm kissing you warmly, clapping and singing in play
They say in a few weeks
I'll be able to kiss your new cheeks
I can't wait for the morning I'll lift you in a sway
There once was a man who started to shake
The day he was married his heart would break
It happened the day he saw
His ugly mother-in-law
'Twas way too much for the poor man to take
Okay I lied it wasn't a good mother-in-law poem
Mothers are the best
They are like a test
They are very loving
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.
A young Monk was feeling inferior,
and so with a motive ulterior,
the Monk and a Nun,
did what they shouldna done
and it made her a "Mother Superior"!
Okay, Okay, enough already with this crap
Spring can come anytime now, just look at a map
It's not the north pole
It's taking it's toll
Old Mother Nature must be having a nap
As a fly on the wall of Larry's domain
I would witness first hand the cause of his pain
Once I saw what I saw
I'm sure that I'd never go back there again!
Mother Nature being supreme
Who beckons her violent scream?
Blind men lust for cash
Binding her into ash
The dust of kind Eden’s regime
When first we landed and quickly saw
What looked like Larry's mother-in-law
It just had to be
Anyone could see
It had good old mom's receding jaw
With Apologies to Larry Belt and his
The was a young golfer whose mother
Constantly around him would flutter.
All over each green,
Her antics were seen,
Until he thumped her with his putter!
2 April 2013.