Limerick Poems About Marriage | Marriage Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny

Think It Over

To get hitched, have kids and all that jazz

is a goal in life, that most everyone has!

        Don't make it your solution, 

        although,  Marriage is, an institution

the same is true of Alcatraz!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: lust,


Her hubby was found with a bimbo He's naked, her legs were akimbo Can’t deny the fact He’s caught in the act His marriage now is in limbo Wife’s livid - he’s dressed in a trice She'd clamp his gonads in a vice! He’s been playing away Now there’s hell to play No cheating would be my advice! It’s time his wife showed him the door He’s bonked other ladies before So it’s not the first time That he’s cheated, the swine Unfaithfulness partners abhor! 3/7/19

Poem Details | by Mohamed Omar |
Categories: funny,

Tie the knot Limerick

There was a girl, of I thought 
I loved her so much, a ring I bought
  Thinking of happy marriage 
  To propose I summed up all my courage 
Unfortunately, she wasn’t ready to tie the knot.

Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: funnysweet, marriage, marriage, sweet,

Sweet Valentines series

My first sweetheart soul was  extremely sweet
The sweet fact, she was sweet enough to eat
   An agape valentine          (a·ga·pe [aa g? pay] 3 syllables)
   My beautiful Clementine
My fault, marriage not given time to seat!

My next sweetheart from the very first start
Almost evident that we would soon part   
   Creature from black lagoon 
   Must get rid of her soon
This sweet’s nagging, truly her state of art!

Most valentines are sweet enough to eat
Giving a marriage time enough to seat
   You wish you had of eaten
   It would save from repeat-en 
Romance is treat, alas she warms you feet!

For contest: Valentine Day Limerick
For and in honor of Francine Roberts

Poem Details | by Brian Magness |
Categories: happiness, life, love, romance,

Beach Proposal

We went for a walk on the beach
His hand for my hand did reach
Walking together
It seemed like forever
A marriage proposal he did beseech.

He spoke again said you’re squeezing my hand
As my feet felt like led in the sand
I stopped in my track
Felt my smile crack
Then he showed me the wedding band.

I could no longer contain my feeling
Inside I would have hit the ceiling
Of course I said yes 
To his great request
And now my heart he is stealing.

For contest “Loveland Limerick”  
Brian Magness

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: age, allegory, america, humor,

Limerick crochetes: Once Japanese Robot lied about its age

Limerick: Once Japanese Robot lied about its age

Once Japanese Robot lied about its age
To an American Robot under age
	At marriage registry
	Paid haemophrodite fee
That night in shed they locked jaws in mad glad rage.

One said: “If only I knew your true old age
I would not have stooped so low to engage
	You in pédophilie
	Despite the reduced fee!”
Said the other: “Shut your trapOpen your cage!”

All night they toiled without oil or French vintage
Pungent fumes coursed through finely wired visage
	Love counter showed much glee
	-Unusual degree-
Neither side of Pacific need take umbrage.

Hiroshima Nagasaki sheer mirage
Robot lingo spout like Zen-type soul adage
	Nuts bolts screws a-plenty
	War rights out of country
Robots join dumb Robots in Atomic Age!

© TWignesan – Paris, 2015

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, husband,

Terminator IV--The Wrath of Shriver

A husband's mistake in the sack
His marriage might seem to attack
Maria got hurt
By one little squirt
And Arnold can't say "I'll be back"

Poem Details | by POET. UNDERTAKER |
Categories: humor,


Once there was a man called Ice, the Dice
Yearned for love, marriage and children
trapped rich Cinderella by trick and style 
Cinderella turned “idiot Ice”  “intellect vapor”
Bloody Is vapor smoke?

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: lost lovelove,

The Divorce Club

with rings we were wed
until death do us depart – 
the love died too soon

There once was a romantic wedding
We mistook love for what was in the bedding
But outside the sheets
We were incompletes
So the marriage license we are now shredding

We join many others in the divorce club membership fold
Mistakes so many repeat when the love story is said and told

Poem Details | by Nicole Rodriguez |
Categories: marriage,

Husbands in Heaven Whose Wives Scold Not

There once was a husband named Craig
Whose wife made a breakfast of eggs,
          He complained they were runny
          And a waste of his money
And now his tail sits between his legs.

There once was a hubby named Clyde
Who had a young girl on the side
          Wifey came from work early,
          Saw Clyde with his girlie,
Now he lives in a doghouse outside.

There once was a man named Jasper
Whose marriage was filled with laughter
          There was equal respect
           Not a trace of neglect
And they both lived happily after.

Poem Details | by Robert Heemstra |
Categories: love, wife,

Nanticoke Living

wife and I are living in Nanticoke
my wife and I aren’t rich nor are we broke
she’s working more than I am at this time
being the man of the house is no crime
my third marriage isn’t a joke

Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: loveme,

Guess Who

She’s a woman of every man’s desire
Slam her and she’ll leave you on fire
She’s a sexy lookin foxy mama
I want her next to me in me hummer
When I see her the subject of marriage I will inquire

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny

Split in Twain By Divorce


You can have the two kids but not the hound
And I'll need the Caddie to get around
Said she I'll take the house
You good for nothin' louse
By your cock and bull I will not be bound


love that drifts apart
like two diverging rivers
ne'er to flow as one


Their marriage made in heaven was as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar
'Til his boozing and roving eyes caused the whole affair to falter

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No5 in PDs "Divorce Club" Contest - December 2010

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: hilarious,

A Clone

If we each had a clone and one day we met Walking with our wifey, a happy duet Would we scream and shout Or say thanks for the help To help make our marriage the bestest one yet

Poem Details | by Charline Wan |
Categories: political,

Rob Ford

There was a man named Rob Ford,
He ran Etobicoke Ward.
Now that he’s mayor,
He still can’t play fair,
Waging a political war.

Our whole fortune’s fee cannot pay,
For those pills you’ve put away.
Weight loss is a scam,
Your scale’s in a jam.
Just leave your office, okay?

Buses rarely have delays,
Just give Karen Stintz her way.
Underground is bad,
Makes us riders mad.
Just leave your office today!

“No bike lanes on roads!” you vow.
Same-sex marriage you’ll disallow.
Those rules you conceive,
Make you seem naïve.
Just leave your officeRight now!
Your platform promises more.
“Cut taxes!” “Build homes!” you swore.
Your dreams are unreal,
Your plans not ideal.
Come now, I’ll show you the door.

Hey readers, could you please let me know if you find this poem to be too offensive/what lines are particularly harsh in the comments below? Thanks!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: betrayal, humorous, sad love,


Ted purchased an Internet bride She arrived and stood at Ted’s side But imagine Ted’s shock – His new ‘bride’ had a cock Ted’s chagrin cannot be denied Ted discovered his ‘brides’ name was Bill Who’d grown breasts with the aid of a pill Ted was very annoyed Said their marriage was void The thought of sex now made him feel ill! Inspired by a comment Arthur made on my poem posted yesterday called Mail Order Brides 17th February 2017

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: funny,


                                          There once was a girl named Kim
                                      Whose choices for marriage were slim
                                          But then she met her dream man
                                              And became Kim Merryman
                                       Then lived happily ever after with him.

       For "Your Poetry Soup name" contest
       by Poet Destroyer

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: family,

Maybe Hang Up My Mouse

Perhaps it's time to hang up my mouse Spend more time cuddling with my spouse Have neglected my sweetie Made her all sad and weepy Must rectify this before our marriage heads south

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: conflict, parents, relationship, wedding,


His mother was extremely keen He should marry a pretty colleen But Harry met Larry And they did not tarry Their marriage it was not foreseen! His girlfriend he was due to marry But secretly Harry wed Larry His mother went mad And so did his dad It’s a burden they have to carry 01/03/18

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy, humorous,

Anti Anti

Anti Anti

Just got criticized for my poems that imply 
They are both anti-Trump and anti-Republican so why
Take Trump name out and then be faced
With another name or she should be replaced.
Or just pass all of my poems bye bye

Poems are supposed to be satire in their entire 
and for others to write more poems inspire and
under poets light up their fireSure seems like
that is what they have done to some people.

Last night one of my neighbor's was accusing
the mass media of taking things that Trump
was saying out of context to make him look
badIt takes a crook to know and understand
another crook I once read in a bookThat is 
why politicians have such a good understanding 
of each otherNot only are they all 

Being that my marriage has been so stable
Write many more poems now that I am able.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: birthday,

A Special Birthday

My first wife Linda would have been 78 today Sadly after 42 years of marriage cancer stole her away Think of her still Always will My love Cathie is now lighting loves way!!!

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: husband, marriage, wedding, wife,

Wedding Blues - American Style

A wedding's a lavish affair
For which nary an excess is spared
   It's all so expensive
   The planning's intensive  
To be presented with just the right flair..

Invitations inked in fancy fonts
Can the couple invite who they want?
   Let not a fight ensue
   That they'll afterwards rue
Over excluding some uncle or aunt..

Flowers give wedding planners the blues
When not selected in just the right hues
   To pick the right colors
   For the least dollars
The specialist's charges quickly accrue..

The band's music a matter of taste
Which must never be chosen in haste
   It may take a while
   To pick just the right syle
Though there isn't a second to waste.

Now that the big day has arrived
Does it feel artificial, contrived? 
   It all happens too fast
   For a marriage to last--- 
So on to new weddings, new husbands, new wives

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: marriage,

Married Bliss

If I was a world leader, no wars would be fought Cept tween man and wife, that can't be stopped Ingrained in our psyche Every marriage by crikey Sometimes we walk around devoid of thought

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Smile Your Style

Smile Your Style

What you have is a favorite style,
That is being happy with a smile;
Surf up high;
A great guy;
Now marriage is no longer on trial.

Start writing poems.

You have inherited the ability.


Poem Details | by Carol Connell |
Categories: wedding, word play,

Wedding Day Blues

On her marriage day there came a glitch.
For bridegroom decided to ditch.
Bride cried at the altar
and no one could fault her.
Wedding went off without a hitch!


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Soon Forget but Not Others

Soon Forget but Not Others

For Vinson (Hope I spelled it right.)
Or is it Vincent like Gene.

Some things forget but others never will
And big void in our lives they always fill;
Love and marriage and death and dying
People praying to God and then crying;
Many images of them do remember still.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by charles messina |
Categories: humor,

Almost Divorced

I near got divorced from my marriage 
Eyes wandered, as I walked with my carriage 
It was on StPatrick's Day 
When I stopped a girl to say..
Hello...instead of shopping for cabbage 

My wife saw the girl give me a smile 
She noticed as she walked down the aisle 
I forgot the potatoes 
Cause I saw her tomatoes 
But they were green, and that's not my style