Two autos both tried to have sex.
A pity they both were such wrecks!
With great apprehension,
One lost its suspension.
Old banger sex – oh so complex!
Contest: East Jesus
Sponsor: Roy Jerden
Checked using how many Syllables 8,8,6,6,8
~awarded 3rd place~
Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub
There once was a friend of mine,
Who was famed for making wine.
Her visits were great,
As she brought a crate -
But I lost a week each time.
For Francine's Bottle of Wine contest, written 17th June
One moment I feel in full control
And the next a lost and drifting soul
Am I healthy straight and sane
Do I have a normal brain
Or just taking madness for a stroll
"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or are the others crazy?" - Albert Einstein
My grandmother lost her glass eye
She sneezed when she breathed in a fly
As her eyeball flew by
She exclaimed my oh my
My glass eye has learned how to fly
I lost my wife among the masses
She said I was blind and needed glasses
I searched the inbetweens
Remembered I fed her beans
Then closed my eyes and followed the gasses
In the desert, Jim strayed out of reach
"How far is the sea"? He'd beseech
Arabs laughed and gave smiles,
Said "It's two thousand miles"
Jim said "I'll just stay on the beach".
Tom Turkey got lost 'midst the teeming flock,
Thus, avoiding the dreaded chopping block!
Hunkering down spared his life,
Averting the carving knife!
He now recovers from traumatic shock!
Fell in love with a coconut
The tree stood tall outside my hut
Love sublime at first sight
I thought I‘d have a bite
Lost both front teeth right on the spot
posted on January 17, 2019
I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.
Joel once made a New Year’s Resolution
To put an end to procrastination
But half way through the year
He found himself waiting there
Lost in his stagnant condition
You perfected your lies to an art.
You succeeded in breaking my heart.
I shed not one tear,
for the hour is near,
when arsenic will keep us apart.
It’s time for my next colonoscopy
Oh, how I dread the cost to me.
Must I drink all that stuff?
Wouldn’t a pint be enough?
I fear my insides may be lost to me.
There once was a little boy from Trinidad
Found barefoot in the Savannah underclad!
He started on his quest
In a ripped merino vest...
Oh what an excellent adventure he had!
A gambler from Hong Kong named Louie.
He was dumb and quite a bit screwy.
In a gambling pad,
he lost all he had.
Today, he can’t afford chop suey.
Who says a limerick has to be Irish?
Dark matter makes scientists sweat
Their telescopes can't find it...yet
What's lost could be found
If they’d just turn around
And gaze at a sexy brunette
Oh, vermicelli, rigatoni!
Lost on a sea of minestrone
The sea beneath my feet,
And nothing else to eat,
I live on cheese and macaroni.
A lazy student known as Burt,
To parents and teachers was curt.
With little knowledge,
Flunked out of college;
Played stock market and lost his shirt!
Red, Black, Yellow - Brown or White
During the day or - late at night
- When Life is lost
- It’s too great a cost
No justification can make it right.
Limerick : Once a Little Girl and her Sister
Once a little girl and her sister
Went out for a walk in a bluster
Little girl lost her way
Big sister blew away
With a Mister who wore a whisker
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Bill Haley sang Rock Around The Clock
In gay abandon back and forth kids did rock
Some lost their composure
Showed too much exposure
Gendarmes made them put on their socks
© Jack Ellison 2013
There once was a Nun and a Druid
Exchanging some bodily fluid,
When along strode the Father
Who heard all the bother,
Lost stickum while coming unglu..ed.
The New Job
He started his job at six,
He was ready to enter the mix.
He lost it as seven,
Not his view of heaven,
So now it is back to the sticks.
Limerick : Once a Dark Horse in a handicap
Once a Dark Horse in a handicap
Led head, tail and hoof in the last lap
All eyes on winning post
Cameras clicked the most
Horse lost in the negative, so clap !
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
We cook it ! Feel your tonsils tingle!
Add mayonnaise, lettuce, a pickle.
Lost both tonsils at ten
so can I ask you when
my change comes to more than a nickle?