Limerick Poems About Lost | Lost Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: adventure, wife,

A Desperate Housewife - in limerick form

A desperate housewife I knew
had such mundane housework to do.
Being so tired of it,
she decided to quit.
Then off to Las Vegas she flew.

Having always been such a lithe girl,
she thought “I’ll give dancing a whirl!”
Her audition went well.
From a large oyster shell
She emerged, so they all dubbed her Pearl.

Her skin, soft and fair, shone like dew
as she smiled with eyes crystal blue.
All the men threw her money
as her voice, sweet as honey,
called out, “Let me entertain you!”

As Pearl danced each night, looking pretty,
Her husband, back in her home city,
was fit to be tied,
thinking maybe she’d died!
Poor fool didn’t have a clue, did he!

Unbeknownst to sweet Pearl, her “dear” spouse
had been sneaking off as she’d played house.
To conventions he’d said
he was goingInstead,
he’d been gambling in Vegas, that louse!

Off to strip clubs he’d gone every chance
that he gotHow he loved to see dance
naked women all sizes 
in sexy disguises
while his wife at home longed for romance.

Now the tables were very much turned.
And her husband was feeling quite spurned.
He would sleep restlessly
thinking where could she be!!
But her whereabouts he never learned.

No longer could he run away
on a whimHe still had bills to pay.
That cleaning and cooking
meant no time for looking
at girls! He had less time to play.

In Vegas, his wife had come far.
In fact, she was a superstar.
Wearing naught but a fan,
she’d entice every man,
then drive home in a pearl-colored car!

Her spouse lost his jobThe years fled.
His wife he then had declared dead.
But with no job in sight,
he’d stay home each night,
with loneliness causing him dread.

Do you think this guy ever has let
his conscience feel any regret
that his wife did so much
while he gambled and such?
Has he learned anything at all yet?

Did he marry and get a new bride?
Did Pearl go and change her sweet ride
to a sleek red Corvette,
and did SHE marry yet?
I leave it to YOU to decide!


Written June 2016 for the Desperate Housewife Contest of PD


Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: abuse, betrayal, confusion, how

The Contest

(The Contest)

I once knew a gentle poet boy
Pretending to be the real McCoy
   He lost two in a row
   This is no game show
At the end, I felt used by the playboy


(The cold rain)

I wish I could take back the HM
Don't know why you chose to condemn
   I thought we were friends
   Now I see through crystal lens,
How you think all your poems are a top gem

(Not a reason to hate)

I once knew a girl with heavy makeup
Behind her smile, her face was corrupt 
   She was in it for the race
   Wanting all her poems to place
She did not win, now she's all worked up
    


SKAT


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Why Pa Ain't Pet Sittin' No More

While Ma was away, Pa lost Tweety
while pet-sittin’ for his friend Petey.
Then at dinnertime, Ma
said, “I’m so sorry, Pa,
but this bird I found ain’t very meaty!”

Another time, it was a frickin’
frog he lostWhile pa was lickin’
his chops over dinner,
Ma beamed, “What a winner!
That frog I found tastes just like chickin.”

Another time “Hillbilly Jake”
Asked Pa to please watch his pet snake.
Ma was out of the loop;
saw that snake and made soup.
It was more than her husband could take.

Pa hollered out, “What’s wrong with you?
Every pet I sit ends up as stew!”
“Keep your eye on them critters,
or they’ll end up as fritters.
I’m not here,” Ma said, “runnin’ no zoo.”



Poem Details | by Gerard Keogh Jr. |
Categories: morning,

It Was One of Those Mornings

It Was One of Those Mornings

The Worst

We have no eggs left, the milk has gone sour.
Sudden storm and now we lost all power.
My front tire looks flat
And where is the cat?
Set the clocks back so I redo this hour.

The Best

There is commotion and laughter outside.
Dreams unfinished-this now must subside.
I yank on the door,
The ones I adore.
Just for you, Daddy! I have tears to hide.


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny

Three Groups of Jeans

My jeans are all piled into three groups
From thin to as wide as hoola-hoops
     Diets are such tedium
     Finally back at medium
Efforts to get there would shock our troops

With nineteen pounds lost in just six weeks
I’m once again proud of my rear cheeks
     I can credit V-8 juice
     For help making my jeans loose
Thin jeans require costlier techniques



*Entry for Nette Onclaud’s “It’s in the Jeans” contest
By Carolyn Devonshire
June 10, 2011


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

HERBIE RIDES AGAIN

Two autos both tried to have sex. A pity they both were such wrecks! With great apprehension, One lost its suspension. Old banger sex – oh so complex! 12~21~14 Contest: East Jesus Sponsor: Roy Jerden Checked using how many Syllables 8,8,6,6,8 ~awarded 3rd place~


Poem Details | by Broken Wings |
Categories: funny, humorous,

High Heel Disaster- For Contest

I saw a prostitute walking at night, With high heels, ten inches, oh what a fright; She lost her balance, crashing, And her goods she was flashing, Watching her get up was really a sight. ______________________ February 18, 2016 Limerick For the contest, Limerick Contest II- For Fun sponsor, Jan Allison First Place


Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: friendship

Home Brew

There once was a friend of mine,
Who was famed for making wine.
Her visits were great,
As she brought a crate -
But I lost a week each time.


For Francine's Bottle of Wine contest, written 17th June


Poem Details | by Ronald Wheeler |
Categories: psychological,

Hazy Question

One moment I feel in full control
And the next a lost and drifting soul
Am I healthy straight and sane
Do I have a normal brain
Or just taking madness for a stroll




"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or are the others crazy?" - Albert Einstein


Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

Eyegasses

I lost my wife among the masses
She said I was blind and needed glasses
I searched the inbetweens
Remembered I fed her beans
Then closed my eyes and followed the gasses


Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny, happiness,

LANCE THE DANCER


There once was a guy whose name was Lance
And all this man loved to do was dance,
If you beat on a drum
Or just twiddle your thumb,
Lance would jump up and he'd start to prance.


He danced from morning into the night
He'd leap in air like a bird in flight,
He never got tired
And always was fired,,
Until one day when he lost his sight.


Have you ever seen a blind man dance?
Well it was a sight, that cane and Lance,
He didn't want pity
Though it wasn't pretty,
When he toppled loosing his balance.


He'd jump right up and continue on
And nothing could stop this dancing prawn,
He taught us a lesson
That there is no reason,
To end what you love before you're  gone.


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: allegory, anger, perspective, tribute,

life with Trump XVII

The Donald supporters were pissed
But Dorian Gray they have kissed!
Measured in fathoms
Their brains’ empty chasms
All hail the chief narcissist


Author's Note: Sunshine Smile's recent post, "Showtime," inspired me to write thisHer poem really speaks to me    

"The Picture of Dorian Gray" is a philosophical novel by Oscar Wilde, first published complete in the July 1890 issue of Lippincott's Monthly Magazine as described in WikipediaI urge those who are unfamiliar with the story to check out the plot

I do understand people's anger It's unfortunate the rest of us didn't do more to retrain and help the folks between the coasts--like the former coal minersI really liked Bernie SandersHillary was more a representation of the status quoI think she lost the election when she called Donald supporters, "deplorables." She didn't get it

"Make America Great Again," is doublespeak for, "Take advantage of the downtrodden and poor." We all share the same planet and its resourcesThere will be blowback from what we are doing in this countryNo wall or immigration ban will keep us safe from ourselves and what we representWe have not yet embraced sustainability, and I sincerely doubt the richest cabinet in history will have an intent to help minersMine owners are the ones they want to helpStay tuned worldIt is "showtime."


Poem Details | by Isaiah Zerbst |
Categories: holiday, humor, humorous, ireland,

My Old Bucket

I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.


Poem Details | by Linda-Marie SweetHeart |
Categories: funny,

A Kodak Moment

      "A Kodak Moment"



yummy pumpkin pie baking in pie crust pan
hubby playing Chef, he's my kinda man
but with five ornery pets
while their appetite gets
shake, rattle and roll chimed from tin can.


the oven whistled steamy and hot
soon the Chef lost his temper, threw a pot
puppies scattered for cover
as two kitties did hover
kitchen looked like the land time forgot,

laughter is the best medicine to cure
any nasty situation one might endure
a kodak moment to smile
lasts longer than a little while
pumpkin pie still holds magical allure.


*For Vienna's Smile Your on Candid Camera


Poem Details | by Terry O'Leary |
Categories: science,

The Probe 2

The scientists flung the Rosetta      
like spinning a ball in rouletta.
      The nerds were annoyed
      when their progeny buoyed.
All was saved with a back turbojeta

Settling down on an icy ast'roid,
which was neither oblong nor spheroid,
      they said "Philae be grounded",
      instead she rebounded
and almost was lost in the void.

With war games and money misdealt
the project was left needing gelt.
      And cells lacking power
      sent nerds to the shower
while watching the meteor melt.


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: health, humor,

Flushed

It’s time for my next colonoscopy
Oh, how I dread the cost to me.
Must I drink all that stuff?
Wouldn’t a pint be enough?
I fear my insides may be lost to me.
 


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, mystery, nature, philosophy,

Cosmology vs Cosmetology

Dark matter makes scientists sweat
Their telescopes can't find it...yet
What's lost could be found
If they’d just turn around
And gaze at a sexy brunette


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, girl, girl,

Limerick: Once a Little Girl and her Sister

Limerick : Once a Little Girl and her Sister

Once a little girl and her sister
Went out for a walk in a bluster
Little girl lost her way
Big sister blew away
With a Mister who wore a whisker

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013


Poem Details | by DrJim Martin |
Categories: jobs, life,

The New Job

The New Job
DrJames EMartin
©December, 2012


He started his job at six,
He was ready to enter the mix.
He lost it as seven,
Not his view of heaven,
So now it is back to the sticks.



Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: funny,

Rock Around The Clock



Bill Haley sang Rock Around The Clock In gay abandon back and forth kids did rock Some lost their composure Showed too much exposure Gendarmes made them put on their socks © Jack Ellison 2013


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: humor,

Adventures of the Wee Three

They drank too much at a watering hole
Three gals lost their wits, went out of control
     Men ogled and flirted
     Desires so perverted
The girls checked out before meeting each troll

But three liters of wine quickly passed through
So their journey home went a bit askew
     Their kidneys had been filled
     An urgency instilled
They needed release, but there was no loo

As they coasted up the seaside highway
All three were suffering in much dismay
     They had to park the car
     Alongside a “wet bar”
On a rock jetty the trio did stray

They complained how easy it was for men
Jan wished she was a rooster, not a hen
     With their backs to the sea
     Pants down, they took a pee
Before they got home, they did it again




* Based on a college experience and written May 11, 2014


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: nonsense,

She talked a lot of nonsense

                                     She talked a lot of nonsense

                                   And killed a whale of conscience

                                           In the city of Tampa
          
                                     Under MrsFleu and Pampa

                                   Begrudged she lost a poll sense


7/7/7/7/7 Limerick


Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: death, dedication, education, epic,

These Colors Don't Run Limerick

<                                 once were twin towers on horizon
                                   bombarded by Al Qaeda what sin
                                   then came many heros
                                   lost too at ground zero
                                   America's flag still flew in wind




In Loving Memory To Those Lost
On 911 R.I.PYou Are Not Forgotten


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, sports, football,

Football Mania Victim's Hysteria

“Woe is me,” when football season closes
Crimson Tide lost in a sea of roses
     Tampa Bucs, Tide, Seminoles
     To “off” my remote just strolls
I’ll use TM for football osmosis

My Coach Bowden-signed football is glass-encased
How do I endure the trauma I’ve faced?
     With my pompoms cast aside
     “Six-month drought!” I cried
“It would hurt less to have my face replaced.”



*Entry for Susan’s “Drama Queen” contest.


Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: fantasy, funny,

The Ole Blarney Stone

If I were a stone what one would I be?

I'd want to be one, everyone wants to see!

     Like they would for a star,

     folks would come from afar

just to visit the Castle and "ME"!


At Blarney Castle I would not be alone.

As a matter of fact,  I'm very well known!

     Visitors would be quite remiss,

     to not plant a Kiss,

on "ME",  the Ole Blarney Stone!


NOTE:  Blarney Castle is located in 
County Cork, Ireland A Stone of 
Eloquence is located in the castle
tower Legend has it that if you
kiss the stone, you'll never be lost 
for words!  Thousands go there
every year to kiss the Stone!
I kissed it in July 1984!


Poem Details | by kasim ishmael |
Categories: dedication, depression, devotion, forgiveness,

Secret

I search for happiness
But never found it again
Though it will be pursued
It will never be attain

I got lost a long time ago
And I give my heart away
It’s been broken to badly
It didn't mend up till today

She left me alone in the dark
Didn't wait to see if I was alive
alone i suffered everyday waiting
For peace of mind to arrive

And it never did came
I would lookout the window
Asking god to please help me
And just make my misery go

But the goodness in life
Has turns his back on me
And left me stuck in a time
To suffer for eternity

Why she walk out the hospital
Why couldn't she see my pain? 
Didn't she care that she might?
Never see me alive again

Now I’m scared for forever
Domed to face the world alone
Never will find a resting heart
And for ever my soul will roam

My heart is empty 
But fill with love to give
But who is going to love me
A man who’s badly defective

So the long road of life
I must travel without love
I know my mother loves me
That the only love, I’m sure off

I wish to find love again
But afraid to get rejected
Then my heart will be broken
And die when it gets infected

Right now I love some one
And keep it secret
And talk to her everyday
But will never reveal it

Will always keep her in my heart
But can never have her in my life
And I know one day I will die
If she becomes another one’s wife

And through this lonely journey
Will have lots of obstacles
Some times when I get tired
I have an ice cream Popsicle


Poem Details | by Mitch White |
Categories: satire

Foolproof

I lost my job two years ago today
Unemployment ran out sometime in May
Saving cans you know
Still play the Lotto
My little retirement plan, per se


Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: introspection

Native American IndianTribute

Americans without doubt a giver
Navajo secret code did deliver
  To Hitler De Fuhrer
   Messages never clear
Red men spoke jumbled arrows of quiver!

Adolf’s lust thrust, the Indian giver
Receives back miseries he delivers!
   In arrow toting brothers
   Military discovers
God's quest in those saving mouths of quivers! 

Native brother’s saving grace delivers
By blessed mouths filled of spoken quivers!
   Now they ride the constrained range
   Without horse or pocket change
Long since lost from sight those medal slivers!

For Contest:Indian Giver~Limericks
In honor of DP


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: halloween, humorous,

HALLOWEEN HOWLERS

My costume makes me look fat And I lost my witches hat I can’t find my broom It’s not in the room Now where’s my lucky black cat An unfortunate man named Keith Mislaid his set of false teeth Tried apple bobbing His jaw was throbbing Poor guy can’t get no relief I love eating pumpkin pie My tum is big its no lie I pick up my spoon Then I start to swoon Feel sick and I want to die Jan Allison 11th October 2014


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: humor,

Well, I Declare

Why, yes, that’s a picture of me there
You cannot believe I was once fair
     Just look at your belly
     It bounces like jelly
It seems you’re now ready to compare

At least I have hair you can envy
That wig you are sporting’s not trendy
     And I still have my teeth
     You lost yours craving sweets
Behind your dentures is breath deadly
	
So you are surprised I can fight back
Rebuttals you’ll find that I don’t lack
    And speaking of “buttals”
    Your caboose just shuttles
When you bend, you reveal a huge crack

If you’ll keep your comments to yourself
You may find that I’ll behave myself
     But mocking me won’t work     
     So wipe off that wry smirk
Or I’ll hide your booze on a back shelf



*Written September 3, 2014
     



Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: adventure, funny,

Large Leap

I always wanted to jump out of an airplane
My friends they would tell me that I was just insane
I took me a chance
but I lost my pants
Giving the ladies a peek at my candy cane


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

HE'S BENT - UPDATED - COLLABORATION WITH ROB BETTRIDGE

I feel terribly sorry for Rodger He developed a kink in his todger It looked such a sight when bent to the right that his poor wife ran off with the lodger! When his wife ran away from poor Rodger Because of the shape of his todger He cried and he moped When she upped and eloped In the dead of the night with the Lodger But why feel so sorry for Rodger? Who developed a kink in his todger There are many that will (Who just for the thrill) Put a Smile on the face of that Codger He is proud that he's now in demand By those that admire his new stand If kinky it seems If only in dreams To be diddled by Rodger's bent gland Now Rodger's a Porn Star, of late Busy making the most of his fate Though by straining too much It has worn down a touch To the point of appearing quite straight Impressed by events from afar Of her Ex who became a Porn Star She planned for a tryst Twixt the hubby she missed And the lodger...'Ménage à trois' In the sack with Rodger and lodger She did not expect them to dodge her When they started to play (To her utter dismay) The lodger proved More bent than Rodger When faced with their naughty nature Which was something she just couldn't savour Having quite lost her mind She struck from behind At the roots of their sordid behaviour She didn't hold back from the guys Extracting their blood and their cries Antics nipped in the Bud Not surprised that she would Kick them out with raw fear in their eyes Poor Rodger could no longer perform He became so sad and forlorn He saw his GP For a costly fee Could his todger be put back to norm? His doc said he would operate Get his todger to an upright state to Rodger’s surprise his todger could rise now he needs to recuperate So having been kicked into touch They are walking with help from a crutch Both Rodger and lodger Keep trying to dodge her As She has become a Dom Butch She wears Fetish outfits so shocking And Schools her pet subs with cruel mocking When she's bound them with chain The screams from their pain Sees their lashes increase without stopping Rodger and lodger; Now Cuckolds Enslaved by their Bonds and Blindfolds Feel the bite of her Crop But don't wish her to stop The control over them that she holds (The Moral) Be careful of what you may wish for There could be surprises in store Wishing all that you might It could still be your plight To get what you wished for - And More! Collaboration with Rob Bettridge


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: crazy, humor,

Limerick: Once a Dark Horse in a handicap

Limerick : Once a Dark Horse in a handicap

Once a Dark Horse in a handicap
Led head, tail and hoof in the last lap
All eyes on winning post
Cameras clicked the most
Horse lost in the negative, so clap !

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013


Poem Details | by Daljit Khankhana |
Categories: caregiving

A Remorseless Battle

The Poem is dedicated to nine innocents who has lost their lives in Israli attak on their 
humanitarian aid

Docility, a living destitute of Anthropomorphism.
Recency, appalling of desperation or piteous anomalism.
Recommendations apotheosize a fussiness of hell or heaven,  
A gun shooter killed innocents a crackable Raven
To shot a child or an old person hard lines limicolous
Inconsecutive lewdness a peevish peeping Tom Ligneous.
Reprehensible polygamist direful coiled chaotic prattle,
A salacious salubrity paramour remorseless battle 


Poem Details | by Robert Pettit |
Categories: funny

A Chinese Limerick

A gambler from Hong Kong named Louie.
He was dumb and quite a bit screwy.
In a gambling pad,
he lost all he had.
Today, he can’t afford chop suey.


Who says a limerick has to be Irish?


Poem Details | by Erich Goller |
Categories: funny, old, magic, old,

Magic Ring

Magic Ring (Limerick Suite) One time there was an sour puss old king he was wearing a big magic ring tried to perform a trick he was not very slick ring lost its sparkle wouldn't do a thing Now to play the fiddle was his goal he tried to play the fiddle with soul playing many foul notes sounded like old farting goats but the king thought he was on a roll He liked country music very much loved to hold the ladies in a clutch a two step he did good he would hallo and hoot fell on his rear-end dropping his crutch The Queen got hold of his magic ring she called him a wild crazy old king told him she had enough keep his hands of her crotch Queen used magic ring gave him a sting Screaming in great pain the king did fold begged the queen to stop he'll do as told got back his magic ring he gave the queen a sting now they live happy, got very old Erich JGoller copyright 9.26.2010


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: business, funny, life, philosophy,

Lemmings never pay the phone company

"Tree huggers” use AT&T
The human cost catastrophe
On the horizon
Like text from Verizon
Is sent with the speed of 4G
 
Pollution's still booked at no 
cost
And Earth’s expenses neatly tossed
Off the balance sheet
With a "Sprint" so complete
The effects on nature seem lost 

Yes EPA rules do offend
Those who crave Earth’s wealth without end
They claim to hate debt
But have seen nothing yet
Like phone bills "T-Mobile" might send! 


Author's note:  It seems ironic and strange that debt haters (like tea party supporters, for 
example) and those who are pushing more reliance on fossil fuel and less "subsidy" for 
renewables (Romney/Ryan for example) support the continuation of policies and 
practices that will damage the environment and that will hurt future generations They are 
pushing growth and not pushing conservation I would have more respect for them if 
they talked about the costs as well as the benefits of their plans I wonder if it might just 
be a scam to reward large corporations for the short term and stick it to the rest of us for 
generations That would be nothing new.


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: philosophy, political,

the political spectrum

Some folks love doing their thing
And it brings in money and bling!
Just let me make hay
The conservatives say
Even when it gives others a sting

Do people all have basic rights?
Are some blown away like lost kites?
It seems there’s no end
Of a bad mess to mend 
And liberals take on these fights


Author's Note: When the right to make a ton of bucks interferes with other rights that people have--watch out I get particularly offended by people who exercise their freedom (and by doing so) interfere with my right to clean air and water and freedom from intrusive smells and noise This argument can be extended to a variety of situations Where do your rights end and mine begin?  This is the tip of a massive iceberg (which could be melting due to global warming).


Poem Details | by kasim ishmael |
Categories: epic, friendship, life, love,

Umbrella

I had a great job
I had a pretty girl
I was moving up 
Slowly in this world

Had a good position
In the factory
And was working 
For a very good salary

Then comes the war
And things got tough
They close the factory
And at home it got rough

I thought that her love
Was my umbrella 
And when there’s bad weather 
In her arms I would shelter

And umbrella can do a lot
When you are in the rain
It can keep you dry
Until the sun comes out again

For me it seems like hard times
Had just began to pour 
And my pretty umbrella 
Had holes I never seen before

The fancy dinners we had
Now become burger king
And I guess she never love me
Just the gifts I would bring

And I brought home a pizza
And she didn’t take a slice
And when I try to hug her
Her arms were cold as ice

One day she went out
And she never came back
And when I look in the closet
She took every last rack

But what can I do
Sure I’m not the only one
Who lost their job?
And their woman was gone

Always know I had an umbrella
Now I don’t know what to say
When comes the rain
She just up an flew away

But I know the time will change
And so will the weather
And one day there will be some one
Who wants me to be their umbrella?


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: nonsense,

Flowers

I have gone and I’ve lost me girl Jane,
When she asked me for flowers again,
But she gave me the gong,
Dunno what I did wrong...
I brought her self-raising and plain.


Poem Details | by Miss Wattle |
Categories: humor,

BINGO

BINGO There is an old lottery card game Super Bingo is its belov'd name By the time you've learned all the lingo Then get to yell out the word BINGO You've lost your shirt to this crazy game © ELR 2013


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Ain't that the Way Fat Goes

With swimming suit season so near,

Ruthie wanted to lose her huge rear.

But she lost what was best -

luscious curves from her chest.

Then she needed a tiny brassiere!




Poem Details | by Miss Wattle |
Categories:

A RUSSIAN NAMED IVAN

A RUSSIAN NAMED IVAN There was a young Russian named Ivan Who loved to strip off and go divin' One day he dove in the river But then he started to shiver For he'd lost his new swimmers - oh Ivan! © ELR 2013


Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: food,

Obesity


Those candies hiding in your valise
say your diet long since lost its lease 
So, chew on those Reeses; 
chomp whatever pleases 
You've got more that I can love obese.


Poem Details | by Marty Owens |
Categories: fantasy, funny, imagination, people,

A Clowns 'Defeeted' Life

There once was a clown name of Marty.
Whose circus performance was one big party.
   He made people laugh
   but that's only the half.
His appetite was very hardy.

Not for food, though he did like to eat
but for people he wanted to meet.
   He went to great measures
   to bring them all pleasures.
But a clowns life was filled with big feet.

He wanted to try the trapeze 
and fly through the air in the breeze.
   But his nose started twitching
   and then began itching.
He lost balance and started to sneeze.

Agony of "defeet" made him funny.
He rubbed them with loads of bees honey.
   But being a clown
   kept his libido down.
Now he walks tightrope counting his money!

For David Williams Circus contest


Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: abuse, corruption, environment, humor,

Fracked

The “Bad Witch of Oz” lost her throne
They weren’t gonna’ leave her alone
… the water was Fracked
… it’s how she got whacked
But … how many others aren’t known!


Poem Details | by Shirley Candy |
Categories: humor,

Virtual Love

A boy and a girl accidentally met
Through the famous world wide web
They were virtually dating
And soon the boy is screeching:
"I've found my lost virtual rib! Yep!" 





07.09.2013


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

What Makes me Act Uncool

Though I don’t get upset when at school,
and in accidents I remain cool,
be it anything dire,
like a storm or a fire,
there’s not often I act like a fool

When recording the shows I adore
and the last episode I wait for
becomes lost or destroyed,
I’m more than annoyed.
Like a crazy gorilla, I roar!


(Still kicking myself for losing the final
episode of "Damages,"season 2, on FX!)

For Susan Burch's
Overreactions and Drama Queens Poetry Contest


Poem Details | by Suzette Richards |
Categories: funny, humor, humorous, lust,

Midnight Lover

He pocketed the ring and sidled over
Temptation too much for this old rover
     When kissing wife “goodnight”
     Cold sweat beading and fright
Realising band lost at midnight lover


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: fun,

Limerick multiplication: Once an optimistic Optician

Limerick multiplication : Once an optimistic Optician

   for Elodie 

Once an optimistic Optician
Looked deep into her Client’s vision
Saw worlds unknown to her
And lost her way back here
Client left her in utter confusion
                          or
Client left but stark pessimism
                          or
Now straddles acute astigmatism
                          or
Now suffers from divided attention
                          or
Now has gone on a mystic mission
                          or
Optician and Client in mutation
                          or
Now both revel in sacred damnation
                           or
Client made Optician eye donation
                           or
Now both sell eye-drops in collusion
                           or 
Now Client gives Optician eye lotion
                           or
Now Client gives lessons in eye motion
                           or
Optician gives Client sole solution
                           or
Client then rubs Optician in the shin
                           or
Optician then throws Client in the bin.

© TWignesan – Paris, 2013