A woman crying, was looking around.
It appears that she lost one hundred pound,
so I think it is fair
that I show her I care -
I gave her ten from the hundred I found.
Two autos both tried to have sex.
A pity they both were such wrecks!
With great apprehension,
One lost its suspension.
Old banger sex – oh so complex!
Contest: East Jesus
Sponsor: Roy Jerden
Checked using how many Syllables 8,8,6,6,8
~awarded 3rd place~
Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub
There once was a friend of mine,
Who was famed for making wine.
Her visits were great,
As she brought a crate -
But I lost a week each time.
For Francine's Bottle of Wine contest, written 17th June
My grandmother lost her glass eye
She sneezed when she breathed in a fly
As her eyeball flew by
She exclaimed my oh my
My glass eye has learned how to fly
One moment I feel in full control
And the next a lost and drifting soul
Am I healthy straight and sane
Do I have a normal brain
Or just taking madness for a stroll
"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or are the others crazy?" - Albert Einstein
I lost my wife among the masses
She said I was blind and needed glasses
I searched the inbetweens
Remembered I fed her beans
Then closed my eyes and followed the gasses
In the desert, Jim strayed out of reach
"How far is the sea"? He'd beseech
Arabs laughed and gave smiles,
Said "It's two thousand miles"
Jim said "I'll just stay on the beach".
Fell in love with a coconut
The tree stood tall outside my hut
Love sublime at first sight
I thought I‘d have a bite
Lost both front teeth right on the spot
AP: 3rd place, 2020
Posted on January 17, 2019
Tom Turkey got lost 'midst the teeming flock,
Thus, avoiding the dreaded chopping block!
Hunkering down spared his life,
Averting the carving knife!
He now recovers from traumatic shock!
Poor Rudolph one night hurt his hoof
by landing on somebody’s roof.
I got a good look!
A photo I took,
but lost it! Dang, there goes my proof.
Nov29, 2019 for Tania Kitchin's Holiday Themed Limerick Poetry Contest
By Us Had Been Construed
By us already had ben construed,
Were really trying to find a feud,
Failed to find,
In my mind;
Ended up being lost in interlude.
I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.
You perfected your lies to an art.
You succeeded in breaking my heart.
I shed not one tear,
for the hour is near,
when arsenic will keep us apart.
Joel once made a New Year’s Resolution
To put an end to procrastination
But half way through the year
He found himself waiting there
Lost in his stagnant condition
There once was a little boy from Trinidad
Found barefoot in the Savannah underclad!
He started on his quest
In a ripped merino vest...
Oh what an excellent adventure he had!
A gambler from Hong Kong named Louie.
He was dumb and quite a bit screwy.
In a gambling pad,
he lost all he had.
Today, he can’t afford chop suey.
Who says a limerick has to be Irish?
It’s time for my next colonoscopy
Oh, how I dread the cost to me.
Must I drink all that stuff?
Wouldn’t a pint be enough?
I fear my insides may be lost to me.
Oh, vermicelli, rigatoni!
Lost on a sea of minestrone
The sea beneath my feet,
And nothing else to eat,
I live on cheese and macaroni.
A lazy student known as Burt,
To parents and teachers was curt.
With little knowledge,
Flunked out of college;
Played stock market and lost his shirt!
Dark matter makes scientists sweat
Their telescopes can't find it...yet
What's lost could be found
If they’d just turn around
And gaze at a sexy brunette
Red, Black, Yellow - Brown or White
During the day or - late at night
- When Life is lost
- It’s too great a cost
No justification can make it right.
Those candies hiding in your valise
say your diet long since lost its lease
So, chew on those Reeses;
chomp whatever pleases
You've got more that I can love obese.
Limerick : Once a Little Girl and her Sister
Once a little girl and her sister
Went out for a walk in a bluster
Little girl lost her way
Big sister blew away
With a Mister who wore a whisker
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
There once was a Nun and a Druid
Exchanging some bodily fluid,
When along strode the Father
Who heard all the bother,
Lost stickum while coming unglu..ed.