Limerick Poems About Life | Life Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: betrayal, body, humorous,

AT THE FOOTBRIDGE - LIMERICK COLLABORATION

At the footbridge Sue was meeting her beau (He was married to a woman called Flo) Sue soon found out his deception She dismembered his erection For his love life it was a massive blow To the hospital fled poor Rodger For an op to repair his todger Now fixed, it's SO big Rodger grunts like a pig in porn films as Rodger the lodger Inspired by but not for contest BY JAN ALLISON 7~18~16 He promised Flo he never would leave her And she would be his only receiver But she caught him with Sue And his chances were through Gnawing off wood when he neared her beaver WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Sue castrated that cheating deceiver With one whack of her meat cleaver she pulled a Lorena Bobbit turned Rodger into a Hobbit Sue's now known as an "overachiever" WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND Across the table sits sweet Amee Once A Roger, before he became a she The master of infidelity So many personalities Before and after he became an amputee.. WRITTEN BY SKAT A He was known as a terrible stoner With a huge un-deflatable boner It now sits in a jar At the end of the bar A reminder to all of its owner... WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS It’s become a tourist attraction As a symbol of female subtraction Grannies sneak in for a peek Everyday of the week Dreaming of former of love action. WRITTEN BY MARK WOODS Oh how sad that pork missile should be unemployed but for all there to see if science, in a jiffy can rejuvenate stiffys then the first in the queue would be me! WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY Flo wanted to give Sue a high five For slicing Rodger with all his jive A two timing fool Who broke every rule Now lil Rodger don't work in overdrive WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y Rodger's story has been immortalized For having his thingy circumcised It's on display in a bar Now hanging in a jar While it's slowing becoming crystalized WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND As she ponders on what to eat Hopefully, it won’t be red meat For there on the log Is Rodger's hot dog So she gets excited and jumps off her feet WRITTEN BY WINGED WARRIOR There's a lesson I really must blurt To all those blokes out chasing some 'skirt' When you're on heat Don't share your meat 'Cause your todger might really get hurt! WRITTEN BY MARK WOODS Poor forgotten noteworthy Sue Looking so gloomy she blew At the pickled todger once belonging to Rodger kissing good times its last adieu WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER As "Rodger" snaked out of the door It went past a room on tenth floor. A woman therein Said "Come right on in." she kept screaming, "More, I want more! WRITTEN BY ANDREA DIETRICH After Sue chopped his tally-whacker Poor Rodger became quite the slacker He tried to bring his pecker forth Never again to be pointing north Now when he pees he sits on the crapper. He stopped at the house, the red-light was on Knocked on the door, the girls were all gone Stuck with his sawed-off boner Tonight He's going to be a loner Damn, why did the girls all have to be gone? BOTH POEMS WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN A group of limericks quite clever Began with one simple sever Of engorged penis which is, (between us), I think, a spicy endeavor WRITTEN BY H PENELOPE SWIFTLOCK There was perfection in his pecker, as a porn star he was a wrecker, but to his wife he was unfair, so she severed what was down there, now his only job is director. WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE Poor Rodger thought he was being slick when he carved out a handcrafted prick he rubbed his new attire his precious toy caught fire Now he is left with an ashen stick WRITTEN BY TEPPO GREN An ashen stick means man minus prick. Poor Rodger, now a eunuch, without a fix He decided to become a transgender Then off he went on a bender Woke up married to a man from Bertrix WRITTEN BY JEAN MURRAY Rodger's new love was a prudish fox but for brains she had a head of rocks he splinted up his willy popsicle sticks look silly he said it was new and still in the box! WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER (EVE'S HUBBY) To be fair "At the Footbridge" Now to be completely fair And to stop every persons stare Rodger was not actually circumcised As he was a player, so don’t be surprised This was from wear and tear and his willingness to share WRITTEN BY MARK PAUL VAN DER MERWE Now Rodger mostly stays home for lack of a viable bone He reaches by habit down for his rabbit: he's got Phantom Willy Syndrome! WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Rodger was a good friend of Eye Had a real hankering for cherry pie Tasted every chance he got And it would hit the spot Until his crazy wife made him cry WRITTEN ON 14TH JUNE BY EYE TRUTH TELLER Roger pretends that he's a sexy stud But when the ladies find out he's a dud they all laugh in his face anatomically a disgrace His manhood is referred to as "The Bud" WRITTEN ON 15TH JUNE BY LIN LANE Rodger thought his op was a success When he found he had more and not less But the surgeon's blind stunt Sewed it on back to front Well, he certainly lacks some finesse! WRITTEN ON 15TH JUNE BY RAY GRIDLEY As he crossed the footbridge, Georgie saw a duck Quite unique and raucous, it could quack AND cluck! (And did so incessantly) "Hey! Hey! It's all about me!" It loudly proclaimed, with much aplomb and pluck WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS
I also wrote another poem but this one did not turn into a collaboration - if you read it you will see that it is quite different to my usual style https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/at_the_footbridge__2_822879


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: journey, life,

The Arc Of Life



Travelling through life resembles an arc We start out as a child emerging from the dark To reach a crescendo Establishing a tempo Then sadly we all must eventually disembark © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humor,

Justice - A Parable

A woman gave birth to a son
named Justice; he had little fun.
If he wanted to play,
his mama would say,
“But only when Justice is done!”

Poor Justice, from morning till night,
tried hard to do everything right.
By the end of the day,
he still could not play,
for his time to do chores was so tight!

His life was a crime with no play!
We all know that crime doesn’t pay.
But were I in his shoes,
having paid all my dues,
I think I might just run away.

Well, sure enough, Justice did flee
and ended up in Tennessee.
With no place to belong,
he felt sad till along
came a girl who smiled tenderly.

Looking ragged, he asked (with some shame)
if the young girl would tell him her name.
“Can you guess?” said the Miss.
“Here’s a clueIt is this
Those who have me don’t take all the blame.”

The young man did not have a clue
what her name was; it was all new.
He’d never hear of
- yet soon grew to love -
this girl  and her charming name too.

Today Justice likes more his life
because this girl lessens his strife.
He learned her name well
when in love he fell
and Mercy he took for a wife!

For the Story Poem Contest Poetry Contest of Carol Eastman


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: celebrity, funny,

Beatle Mania

Beatlemania (The Fab Four As Lovers) Once a choir boy, John turned to romance, Fell for Yoko almost at first glance. In full public view In bed with her too - Showed the world how to “give peace a chance.” Quiet George played much more than guitar. Lost his wife to another rock star. Layla left him because Of how hung up he was On the music he made with his sitar! Ringo acted in “Caveman” and met His wife Barb (once a Bond girl) on set. Though the film of this drummer Was dumber than dumber, Wise in love, he’s not left his Barb yet! A heart breaker, Paul left Wife "One" For Linda, and made her a vegan! On their farm smoking pot, They made money (a LOT)! He’s a genius whose life sure seems fun! written Oct13, 2013 for the BeatleMania Contest of Rhonda Johnson-Saunders


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny

The Sundress Girl

Little Lulu, a cute little girl. in her sundresses loved to just twirl. Around she kept going, pink underpants showing. Her life would become one big “whirl.” In grade school, she grew to be wild. Upside down, in the playground, this child from the monkey bar hung in her sundress among all the boys standing round her, who smiled! As a teen, Lulu still loved to wear a sundress to make young men stare. She was thought a great sport when she wore a dress short, legs crossed as she sat in a chair. Little Lulu was so hot to trot her affection by many was sought till that cute buttercup got finally knocked up. Then a white wedding sundress she bought! The years crept up quickly on Lulu. On her porch she now stands and calls, “You-hoo!” to every old guy who might give her the eye as she twirls the huge skirt of her muumuu!
Written by Andrea Dietrich Inspired by the contest: "The Sundress" Sponsored by ~ Constance La France ~ A Rambling Poet ~~


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: friendship,

Friendships For Life



Some people you meet leave an lasting impression Some pass through without even a mention The ones that stand out Leave us no doubt Friendships for life are without exception


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funnyme, me, space,

Guessing Games

From the moment we met, he played a game
Started out telling me to guess his name
     And when I asked, “Don?”
     He responded, “Right on!”
This lucky guess led to more of the same

“What do you think I do for a living?”
I hesitated, had some misgivings
     “Steer the space shuttle?”
     Got no rebuttal
So on this roll, I felt I was winning

“Bet you a kiss you don’t know where I live”
My mind was draining faster than a sieve
     “A beachfront villa?”
     (The truth would kill ya)
So many guessing games I now relive

After dating three months, his wife found out
Burst into our love nest, called him a lout
     Eight kids behind her
     All hungry they were
Don Juan he was, but surely no space scout

If you meet a man and he asks you to guess
Take it from me and avoid this distress
     He may be akin
     To Rumpelstiltskin
The anger later is hard to suppress

Now I’ve learned to turn the tables on men
Asking them to “guess” again and again
     My private life hid
     Won’t remove the lid
And I’ve convinced some that MY name’s John Glenn


*Entry for Tracy's "Make Me Giggle" contest


Poem Details | by Kelly Deschler |
Categories: death, friend, heartbroken, lonely,

Broken Hearted - JTAP

Our friendship here had only just started
then you left me alone, broken hearted
you're gone but not forgotten
now life it seems so rotten
ever since the sad day you departed.



We miss you, Chan :)



This was my sadder take on the "poet who broke my heart" contest theme.






Poem Details | by Funom Makama |
Categories: christian, god, gospel, jesus,

I am Christian

My divine manual and life prospectus is the Bible
my ways, a beautiful mirror sparkling like clean Marble
falsehood can’t colour my teeth
Jesus Christ is not a myth
the hope of eternal life, a conviction, not a gamble.


Poem Details | by deb radke |
Categories: satiregod, god,

Flawed Before God

The humble man stands before God,
Contrite, and aware he is flawed;
As each day begins,
He confesses his sin,
Then kneels before God and is awed.

The flawless man stands there as well,
Convinced he has no sin to tell;
And that God is his equal
Which leads to his sequel
Of life everafter -- in hell.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: books,

I'm Huck

I’m Huck, and my last name is Finn. On the great Mississippi I’ve been playing hooky from school ‘cause there ain’t any rule that can keep Huckleberry caged in. I bet that you’ve already read about the fun life that I’ve led, how I got a bad foe that they called Injun Joe and how me and Tom one time played dead! I ain’t nothin’ special, just Huck. In my boyhood forever I’m stuck. Just one kid needs to look at the words in Twain’s book and I’ll stay alive - with any luck! *My character, of course, is Huckleberry Finn, taken from the novel of the same title, written by a very witty humorist, Samuel Clemens, AKA Mark Twain. Written 4/20/14 by Andrea Dietrich for the "Become a fictitious character taken from a book (or a movie) ! Free Poetry Contest" of Giorgio A.V


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny, nature,

The Owl and the Coyote

A lonesome coyote howled deep in the wood
And a MOST unwise owl somehow misunderstood
Oh, alas and alack!
She rashly hooted back
(And she hooted as hard as she possibly could)

"Who the heck heeds my howl, for god's merciful sake?
Could this perhaps be my potential life mate?"
..."Give a hoot who you hoot at
if you don't know just who 'dat
You hoot at!" screeched the owl a wee bit too late

The gossip that followed defied explanation!
Squirrels scolded scathing and righteous damnation
The eagle screamed from his peak
"Don't even show us your beak!"
(An owl with a tarred and feathered reputation)

The coyote's good name turned muddy and mucky
Rumor spread like the plague so he never got lucky
"Your character is fowl"
Hitting up on an owl?"
(Last I heard he migrated to Kentucky)


Poem Details | by Broken Wings |
Categories: funny,

Limerick 5 - Happiness

 
A kitty who was not born all that strong, and with a love for LASAGNA life long; drippy, rich, creamy, chewy, Garfield's serendipity. HAPPINESS is enjoying, right or wrong. _________________________ May 20, 2015 Limerick


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: adventure, humor,

Better Run

I’m a scoundrel that travels by sea
with me matesWe are happy and free
cause we live life with ease
doing just what we please.
It’s the life of a pirate for me!

If you see in the distance our mast
with the skull and the crossbones, run fast!
We’ll be comin’ for you
and your women folk too.
There is nothing of yours that’ll last!

Cause we’ll loot and pollute till we’re through,
burn your houses and then come for you.
Better run far away.
Run into the next day,
cause your gold we’ll be lookin’ for too.

Leave by boat, and I’m gonna be frank,
when we catch ya, that boat will be sank.
Once we drink us some rum,
we’ll be having our fun
watching captives of ours walk the plank!

I suppose we might have sympathy
for a maid who acts dutifully.
But if you’ve got a wife,
better run for your life,
for no honor nor scruples have we!

 Since a pirate don’t do what he should,
if you see us in your neighborhood,
better get up and go.
Bad is good and Yo! Ho!
Me pirate life’s better than good!


For the the A Pirate's Life For Me Poetry Contest of Kelly Deschler


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: places,

On Your Visit to Mars

Three times higher on Mars you can jump,

which is great, but you'll sure be a grump

if you visit the spot

so incredibly hot

that the sun, when it's close, roasts your rump! 


For the Life On Mars Poetry Contest of  Brian Davey


Poem Details | by James Marshall Goff |
Categories: funny

Her Prescription

with one foot short I was hamper’d
believin' my life was 'ncumber’d
when quite by surprise
'peared a girl with cross-eyes
and proclaim’d I was doctor order’d!



01/18/11
© All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: happiness, love, wife

Bonny Scotland

My tour made me really content
I was pleased with where I was being sent
        The Air Force said go
        I couldn't say no
so over to Scotland I went.

The tour could not have been better
I knew SHE was the one when I met her
        It really was strange
        How my whole life would change
cause I knew I would never forget her.

My time in Scotland I'll never forget
I've never been to a nicer place yet
        I bought home a wife
        she's the love of my life
so to Scotland I owe a great debt.


Poem Details | by Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories: me,

Exercise Becomes Me

I once knew a poet named Cecile
Call her skinny and hear her spiel
   I'm petite with small bones
  I have fat and rolls she groans
If I called you names how'd you feel   

So she decided things had to change
 Lifting weights at first felt strange
      Her trainer pushed gently
         Encouraged intently
  Her life she happily rearranged

Now building bone density and power
 Her muscles sprouting like a flower
        Strength is now her friend
      Workouts are now her trend
  It takes discipline and willpower

No longer thin rather lean and fit
Liking the changes she does admit
         Active body and mind
        Healthy diet combined
   This lifestyle she'll never quit


06/01/2016
*I been working out for 6 months now : )


Poem Details | by Broken Wings |
Categories: poetry, writing,

Limerick 6 - Song Bird

 
I write of sad things in my life for you, And win sometimes first place and this is true; Some hate my weeping words, That I write like a song bird; So I give me, a compliment or two. _________________________ June 20, 2015 Limerick Inspiration Quote: "When you cannot get a compliment in any other way, pay yourself one." Mark Twain For the contest, Write with the Wit of Twain Sponsor, Andrea Dietrich Seventh Place


Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: color,

not so ORDINARY ORANGE

Searched within the walls of my feeble mind In brain matter scattered, but could not find proof that orange is just humdrum, To this conclusion I have come - if orange is ordinary ~ I'm blind. Brighter than most, it stands out in a crowd. Bold enough not to be bullied or cowed. Tones of setting sun refined. Shade of ripe cantaloupe rind. Don't accuse it of being brash or loud. Lilies and tulips massed in flower bed, More lovely than roses of crimson red. Tangerine citrus and its zest, fruit that many consider best, Breakfast juice, orange marmalade on bread. Not ordinary is orange to me. If you think so look again and you'll see Orange vest could save your life - Fields of yams and pumpkins rife - Coral breasted robins who fly so free. :::............:::.............:::.............::: 3/4/16 Color Contest: Orange Sponsor: Silent One


Poem Details | by Gert W. Knop |
Categories: death

The Chap of the Zoo

There was once a chap of a zoological crew
And he got always plenty to do
One day he was prey
Nothing else more to say
So ended the fellow's life in the zoo


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: happiness, life,

Life's Puddles



There are many more joys in life than struggles We must recognize the good times and ignore the troubles In everyone's life There's toil and strife Sure beats the alternative as you skip through life's puddles


Poem Details | by James Andersen |
Categories: funny, love,

We Became a WEE

James Andersen
Trying to find a place to pee
I went behind a big o'l tree
She saw me there
Completely bare
Then we became a WEE!!

  Daniel turner
Pissing in public's a crime, 
it could possibly get you a fine, 
flashing a lady, 
that's kinda shady, 
that just might get you some time
  
  Charmaine Chircop
Behind that big tree, there was he
Trying to find a place to pee
she saw him there
oh did she dare
to sting him that queen honey bee

  Tim Smith
Even tho it was a hundred year oak
from out each side, it did poke
oh such a sight
she said with delight
when she spied upon his mighty bloke.

  Jan Allison
Jim unzipped his pants by a bush 
He stumbled and hurt his large tush 
Stopping for a pee 
Got stung by a bee 
To the doctor's he must now rush!

   lim'rik flats
How did I miss out on this?
I was probably taking a piss
Coffee galore
makes me pour
my life out, I'm remiss!



Poem Details | by Chris Matt |
Categories: life

human life

Were an anomaly that amazes 
Our life and all of its phases
Wonderful creator, 
I guess I'll meet him later.
When up my spirit raises.


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: song,

life with Trump V, VI, VII, VIII

Author's Note: Recite the following using the rhythm and melody of "Home, home on the range where the deer and the antelope play." The first verse can be used as the refrain:

His income tax structure is strange
Donald will the needy shortchange
The overly rich 
Claim their life is a bitch
For them he’ll find bucks on the range 

A clear planet earth never smokes 
But Trump’s cohorts grim are the Kochs
Where fossils remain
They'll tear into the plain
Fracking rigs are their dirty jokes 

There's fat upon Miss USA
The Donald says queen you shall pay!
"For my regal job"
She did painfully sob
"Is rehab a roll in the hay?"

Like buffalo once were so vast 
Our middle class was unsurpassed
Now they are the prey
While republicans play
And deny the climate forecast


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, leaving, relationship,

LEAVES TALKING

He called me a fat stupid old sow Said my arse was the size of a cow! So now we’re not talking In fact, I am walking From his life … I’ll go pack my bags now! N/A in Leaves talking Contest Submitted to any poem that got an N/A in September Sponsored by Janice Canerdy 09~16~16


Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: satire

Expensesgate

Political life isn't cheap
moats are costly to clean when their deep
big bucks for a porn movie
and a duck house thats groovy,
it's enough to make Gordon Brown weep.


Poem Details | by Rob Bettridge |
Categories: humorous,

PEACE AT LAST - A collaboration with JAN ALLISON

  
  
 
  
 
  
There are women who feel a strong need To nag men until their ears bleed In a war of attrition With relentless petition Is a cruel way to make men concede Men wish for a life of peace But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease Men will just say It's the female DNA That must out in it's need for release We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag' Men get on our nerves When you paw at our curves You should give up and wave the white flag We can suffer from bad PMT, Become ogres that men want to flee We Scream and we Shout Say We’ll throw you out But for some reason you wont let us be Better by far, we should try this next time It's effective and will prove sublime By wearing Earplugs In each of our Lugs We'll be laughing, whilst nagging - in Mime Laughing together will lighten our day It's a tonic to chase all our problems away For a really Big Smile Can last a long while And we'll both get on better that way


Poem Details | by lim'rik flats |
Categories: appreciation, fun, nonsense,

Collaboration Can Be Fun join in here

I'm a firm believer
In limerick fever
(This isn't news)
"It'll cure the blues!"
Says Jan (who is no deceiver)

Written by Jan Allison:

Writing limericks is a fine art
Yes I write about poop or a fart
But show me someone
Whose not dropped a ‘bomb’
then from poetry soup I’d depart!

Written by Lim'rik Flats:

Does art mimic life or life mimic art?
Don't ask me, I'm not too smart.
It seems the soup
Has the same poop
As watching the news (or a fart).

Drama and trauma, factions and foes,
Smiting and fighting, (hard on the nose),
Saves me the trouble
Of viewing double
Saves time, and less grief I suppose.

Written by Ray Gridley:

Raise a toast to this collaboration
Whatever your race or your nation
Just write on a whim
Lim'rick Flat's bound to grin
They are all going to be a sensation!


Written by Daniel Turner:

I know a guy called Lim'rick Flats
Writes limericks at the drop of a hat
Jan is his pal
She's quite a gal
They met in a laundry mat

Jan makes jokes about poop
he puts them in alphabet soop
drinks from the bowl
with no self control
which makes him a nincompoop

Also written by Daniel Turner:

Write all the limericks you want
but don't fart in a restaurant
people will laugh
call you riffraff
even if you're a debutante

Written by John Lawless:

oh the limerick it ain’t quite a sonnet
and the learned, they look down upon it
for they cannot grasp
its head or its ass
nor the cleansing effect of its tonic 

Written by Terry Reeves:

Late for work she flew out the door
Took an express elevator to the 29th floor
Let some discreet killer farts
Nearly stopped all their hearts
Left them gagging; she'd evened the score

Written by Tim Smith:

Nonsense is here found out in the alley
Five funny lines we'll add to the tally
a smile or two
we laught till we're blue
so put out your best and join in our rally

Written by Alexis Y:

Hey what's going on in the soup?
Lim'rik Flats I want the scoop
What do you have to say?
You got poem of the day
Congrats, I shouldn't have flown the coop


Written by Jean Murray:

John is always fun.
His poems and their puns.
If you need a lift.
He has the gift.
Lim'rik Flats is number one.

psst How could I not add this to the string?  ~ john


Poem Details | by Funom Makama |
Categories: bible, blessing, business, epic,

Blessing Time

Gone is the time to fear any omen
bubbling like a city of fine women
fate never assumes
as bad luck so fumes
the hour has come as life says amen.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Let's Eat Grandma



Let's eat Grandma..OR let's eat, Grandma Punctuation saves lives because of a comma So very small But stands so tall The difference of life and death for Mom's Momma


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, irony, jobs,

CLEANER DEMEANOR - COLLABORATION

A chambermaid whose name is Marlia Had the most terrible diarrhoea Whilst scrubbing a loo She needed to pooh Poop flowed freely from her posterior It splattered on the newly scrubbed door Gloopy poop was all over the floor There was a huge mess It covered her dress Her poor tummy was ever so sore WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON Marlia was filled with sorrow A clean dress she had to borrow flies were attracted The mess compacted clean up required a harrow! WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS If only she'd have taken a Tums No mess would be left on her bums she's still in despair a stench in the air To the scent of poop she succumbs WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Marlia was dumb, thinking it was just gas But it was much more that she had to pass The day was torrid Her stench was horrid Now everyone knows Marlia has no class WRITTEN BY LIN LANE Marlia tried hard to sneak out the trail of her poop left no doubt Lysol was sprayed, Her funk still stayed cause her poop kept running out WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER Poor, poor Marlia stunk up the room Her hubby left and she has no groom He ran for the hills No more night thrills, Now she's alone and her life is doom WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y 21-07-17


Poem Details | by lim'rik flats |
Categories: tribute,

Reincarnation of Turkey Tom - a collaboration

*if ya wanna add some sillies, hop on the wagon!


After the feast, Tommy was gone
Hen said, "Don't worry, won't be for long."
"He'll reincarnate,
Just sit and wait."
"He's not just SOME - POET, Tommy's a song."

"He's always a gas, loads of fun,
With plenty of wit and good with a pun."
"If you miss him,
Be sure to kiss 'em,
When he comes again to shine like the sun."

By Jan Allison:

When he struts it engorges his snood
Oh my goodness that really sounds rude
It dangles from his beak 
You must go take a peek
See Tom is the king of his brood.

By ilene bauer:

He was missed, though, by all of his group
Who felt bad he was out of the loop
So they jotted some rhymes
Thinking 'bout those good times
Now he's brought back to life on the soup!

By Alexis Y:

Tommy the turkey is not gone
He's hibernating and listening to a song
When he comes back
His strut won't be whack
Maybe this time he'll arrive with loud gong

By rogerPAT Adams: 

When he struts it's more of a wobble
No matter if ground, grass or cobble
Though it might seem rude
When he's in the mood
I've heard he loves to gobble!

By Jack Ellison:

Tommy can be very rude at times 
But down deep, his star really shines 
His heart glows bright 
Nothing bad I can write 
Like his author, he's a master of rhyme"


Poem Details | by Nayda Ivette Negron |
Categories: humor,

Life And Math Equations For Contest

The life situations can be compared 
To a math equation to be resolved 
Finding the variable
That is fully capable
To get a formula question answered 











For Limerick II For Fun Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Jan Allison
Fourth Place
2-19-2016

Syllables Per Line:	10 10 7 7 10
Total # Syllables:	44
Total # Lines:	5  
Total # Words:	26


Poem Details | by John Patrick Robbins AKA Gonzo |
Categories: funnyold, time, sea, old,

The Modern Pirates Life

Out apon the sea.
Its hard to catch some relife.
Or find some time to set willy free.

It's a priates life no need to back your 
bags.
Just grab a pint.
When in port avoid the sea hags.

Swab the decks and please if 
ya gotta puke lean over the side.
Be a good little sea bandit
or you'll be learning were Davey Jones does 
reside.


We got fish for breakfest supper and lunch.
Can somone please help the captain.
ya know with a hook for a hand its easy to
get your pants in a bunch.

I gotta walk  the plank  again ?
Hey it's really rude sticking me with that knife.
It sure would be nice if we put this ship in the water.
Do more than drinking and dreaming of the pirates life.

I really dont trust a captian with a poodle.
It really gets old being harrased.
And cleaning up fee fee's doodle

Dont let Larry steer.
After the tenth time  it gets old.
running a ground to go fetch a beer.

No sir I dont belive we'll run into the loch ness monster
off the jersey shore.
No I dont belive the worlds flat.
And I dont care if the five year old first mate swore.

The crows nesk is a perfect place to hide from your
wife.
Were heading  the wrong way check the gps.
Yes I really cant take this pirates life.

Yes captian I really doubt A mermaid stole 
all the rum.
What's the catch of the day?
Sea monster sure I'll have some.

The captian is crabby and it's time for the
first mates nap.
The cook isnt crying cause he's choppin onions 
Its cause he finished the briges of Madison County
yes he's a bit of a sap.

It's probaly not best to duel with a butter knife.
As we set sail yes mam we''ll have the first mate 
back befor sundown.
It's kinda messed up living this modern pirates life.


Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: anniversary, funny love, love,

Happily Married

Thirty-four years we've been married, and our life together has been varied. But our love just keeps growing, so this I am knowing, we'll be together until we're buried! Now if that's not okay with you, dear, let me make myself perfectly clear: you are stuck with me like glue, and there's nothing you can do. So take that and stick it in your ear!
5/29/30 (Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary and the first limerick is truthThe 2nd limerick is just to be funnyNo trouble in Paradise here, folks!)


Poem Details | by Amanda Moore |
Categories: death, imagination, satirelife, life,

Serial Killer A Limerick

There once was a serial killer His life was one sickening thriller From the bodies he’d saves And the ones in the graves His life was one bloody chiller Tho his mental state wasn’t quite normal And his social skills never that formal He loved people to pieces Even after life ceases With dead bodies he does like to dabble Now that sounds rather creepy you say That killing is how one spends his day While it’s not quite a profession More like an obsession In the end they’ll come take him away
AgMoore©
Authors note: This was done as an exercise, we were given certain words (a wordle ) and it was the writers choice what form to put them in and how to use them.


Poem Details | by Edward Ebbs |
Categories: family, funny, life,

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011
Limerick Contest 


Poem Details | by Owen Yeates |
Categories: death, life, prayer, angel,

An Angel

Last night as I lay in my bed
An angel appeared and said
Your life will soon end
I am sent as a friend
To a new kingdom soon you will be led

Say goodbye to all those you hold dear
Tell all they must not shed a tear
For your passing will be
Liberating and free
With my lead you will not have fear

In life you have suffered too much
Soon you will walk without need of a crutch
In the kingdom to come
You won’t limp you will run
With the help of the lords gentle touch

So I wait for the day to draw nigh
Though I know lots of people will cry
With happiness in my heart
I will gladly depart
Heavens waiting there for me to try

The angel at last has drawn near
He offers a new life so clear
With a silent prayer 
I climb the golden stair
Halleluiah the angels all cheer


Poem Details | by Debbie Duncan |
Categories:

Living Life

I hope you have angels  
watching over you
Because, the way 
you live your life is'
A  CRIME !  




7/7/2013   12noon


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: dedication,

Determination And Will Power



Whoever said life would be easy was nuts In spite of the all good times, it still takes guts Determination and will power And love stuff by the hour And a sweetie to help you through all of the ruts © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: death, funny,

Murray

Written by Gail DeBole on May 18, 2009


There once was a fella named Murray
Who lived his life in a flurry.
When the grim reaper stopped by
Murry refused to die
Saying, "I have a 
Meeting at 10:30."


Poem Details | by Kim Robin Edwards |
Categories: lost love,

Can't Live Without You

Do you know who I am? 
The man you love! 
Who stays up nights.
Who thinks of you..
And do you care enough, to think of me, 
for what I am? 

I can't live without you, baby! 
You are the only one.
I care enough, to think about.

I can't live without you, honey! 
You are the only one.
Who cared enough, to comfort me.

Do you know what I need? 
The love in life, you'ld give to me.
And if you share your life with me.
I will think of you everyday.

I can't live without you, baby! 
I need your loving ways.
Your tenderness, your sweet caress.

I can't live without you, honey! 
Your love, just fills me up.
It gives me strength, to carry on.

Do you know where to be, when I arrive, 
to share my love? 
Would you stand next to me? 
So I can hold, and comfort you.

I can't live without you, honey! 
Your love will never end.
It will stay with me eternally..
Till the end of all time..

Love Poetry By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 1985,2014..
All rights reserved..


Poem Details | by Shane Cooper |
Categories: friendship, heartbreak,

BLOCKED

I once knew a girl who lived far away,
Who told me a fairy tale one sunny day,
We would be friends for evermore,
I would never be shown the door, 
I called her my friend but she wouldn’t stay,

The story is over the finish less than gay,
The fact is my life has been put in disarray,
Best friends an oath she swore,
But that doesn’t count anymore,
The pain I feel will end soon I hope and pray, 


Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: happiness, humorous, life, people,

Portrait of Mr F Shui

Written by Gail DeBole on February 4, 2013

A man with the name of Feng Shui
Arranged his life in a Qi-loving way.
Full of sweet harmony,
And life planned to a “T”,
Bad Karma didn’t “stand” in his way!


Note: Part of the Portrait Collection


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: allegory, business, funny, health,

Voldemort, by contrast, was vanquished easily

Changed climate is not a surprise
With drilling for gas on the rise
Where can life forms hide
From carbon dioxide
And methane let loose in the skies?

Neo-druids auger gas wells
And add fluids with sulfurous smells! 
Are poisons they've tapped
With their magic wands trapped
Evermore by sorcerous spells? 

Votes and news seem not relevant
The unrelenting elephant
In all our best rooms
Is fossil fuel's fumes
And toxins we can't circumvent 




Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: computer,

My Cantankerous Computer

Last week my computer was on the fritz.

   The confounded thing was givin' me fits!

      Trouble was a sick modem.

         They jes' won't work without 'em!

            Life sans a computer is jes' the pits!

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by Tom Larrow |
Categories: funny, political, satire,

I'll Tell You A Secret

At best, life is just mass confusion
Finding what's real and what's just an illusion
Speak of politics Do I dare?
When finding the truth is so rare.
Because politicians are just an optical illusion!


Poem Details | by Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories: love,

Love Is

Putting someone's needs before your own
Sharing your thoughts, never feeling alone
         A tenderness so sweet
     That sweeps you off your feet
 A joined journey into the unknown.

It's unbridled passion that does consume
When their scent becomes your perfume
           Smiles lit from within
            Life finally can begin
Two peas in a pod that grow full bloom

Being your real self with no pretense
Filled with ardor, the joy so immense
         It's butterflies galore 
    Can't wait for what's in store
Heart open wide, no longer on defence.



Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: education, life, wisdom,

School Of Hard Knocks


School of Hard Knocks


We all went to school in the past

Knew all of the answers when asked

But time does go by

Kissed knowledge good-bye

Now smarter with life we've amassed!


© Sandra MHaight 2015 
   All Rights Reserved


~3rd Place~
Contest: Famous Einstein Quotes
Sponsor: John Freeman
Judged: 04/30/2015

_________________________________

Quote:  Albert Einstein

"Education is what remains after
one has forgotten everything
he learned in school."


.