Limerick Poems About Jesus | Jesus Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: character,

As Santa Leaves Slab City

Santa hasn’t drunk cocoa tonight,
and he’s not dressed in red trimmed with white.
In blue denim so cool,
he is toasting the Yule
with a drink surely not mixed with Sprite!

Santa’s drink was a little too red,
and I think we have something to dread,
for he’s now in the sky
and he’s flying “too high”
as his sleigh widely veers overhead.

For the Humor Contest of Carol Eastman

* Slab City is a snowbird campsite in the Colorado Desert in southeastern California, used by recreational vehicle owners and squatters from across North AmericaEast Jesus is part of its artistic community.


Poem Details | by Anil Deo |
Categories: allusion, cheer up, fun,

Adding Limerick: From reply to April 2 Jan Allison's Wee Man

But Jan, is this a Limerick trick? 
Your family, truly, has no Dick and no Rick.
I could have sworn 
Since I, too, had been born 
my family had to have had one MrDick!

(c)Deo.I could not bring myself to declare it as clearly last weekNow Good Friday gives way to naughty Saturday.have at itShalom.Smile: Jesus is not a prude, but He does have standards (No adultery, for oneHave limericks though)


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: wisdom,

A Bumper Sticker



“Honk and drive if you love sweet Jesus” “Text and drive to meet Jesus in pieces” You are duly warned Did you hear that horn Pay attention or your chance increases


Poem Details | by Rick Parise |
Categories: father, life

Was The Shroud Used As A Napkin At The Last Supper

Had a glass of wine to blend with the crowd
things got out of control, a bit loud

kept thinking Jesus sipped 
probably didn't get so lit

I bet thats how they stained the shroud ! ?






3rd person of coarse/no disrespect/lol


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: christmas,

The Very First Christmas



It's the happiest time of the year round the world Moms reading to kids on the couch they're all curled Bout the very first Christmas Bout baby Jesus what blissfulness As the banner of love and freedom is unfurled © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by louise nelson |
Categories: faith, funny, hope, inspirational,

money is not the god that I serve

money is not the god that I serve
for faith in the Lord God is not graded on the curve
God is not concerned with man's window dressings
and He doesn't give a damn about what the world finds impressing
just  trust in Him and he will give you an abundance of blessings
and your soul He will preserve

money is not the god that I desire
for Father God will give me all that I will require
He looks into the minds and hearts of every man
He wants us to live by the spirit of His commands
and once you  become a part of His master plan
the Holy Spirit  you will then acquire

money is not the god that I need to develop a relationship
for only through Jesus Christ will I have passage on that heaven-bound ship
and with only a mustard seed of faith
I will be entering through God's pearly gates
and so joyful that I can hardly wait
for my soul will have had such a great trip


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Just After Jesus

Just After Jesus

Just after Jesus had arose,
A toast to Him I did propose
What was it Trump had in mind?
With smallest one we could ever find,
Am sure that only heaven knows.

Jim Horn




Poem Details | by louise nelson |
Categories: faith, hope, philosophy, death,

Did You Ever ?

Did you ever sit and ponder
about  God's miraculous wonders
or sit back and reflect
on the religious aspects?
It makes my heart for Him fonder

Did you ever question the existence of God?
I don't think that question that is very hard
because I know what I feel
that the Lord my God is truly  real
and I gratefully give Him my heart

Did you know that the death of Jesus was sacrificial?
because man's belief  was so superficial
as Jesus'  death was the method to repent
yet mankind's sinning ways would not relent
for mankind's faith was so artificial

But there is one thing I can certainly convey
as ye reap as you sow, the Bible does say
just exalt and glorify God and in Him rejoice
praise and worship Him with a cheerful voice
and He will treasure you all of your days



Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Church Had Become Blank

Church Had Become Blank

Maundy Thursday

When the Church had become blank
Seemed so low my heart slowly sank;
Complete silence church stood
Again come back Jesus would,
And all of God's soldiers fell in rank.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

No Objection

No Objection

From his mind he needed protection
And no one had an objection
Picture of Carson we saw
That really grabbed my craw
Was with Jesus' at His resurrection.

Jim Horn

I remember Ben having a big picture
of Jesus in his home hallway.


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Blocks View of His Feet

Blocks View of His Feet

Trump not only is total loss but also complete;
Speaks same words several times and will repeat;
Ignorant sign off;
Retarded slightly above,
And big belly does block view of his both feet.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Bolivia, NC 28422

4385 cdd Pick Pocket Preacher
Thursday August 3, 2017
Volume 18 Number 155

Today's Author: Pastor Bill

Christian Cross Ministries Participant TSfrom Republic, Missouri contributed financially in support of today's cddThank you - PTL! pb

Scripture: Leviticus 19:13
"You shall not cheat your neighbor, nor rob him" NKJV

A Note of interest from Pastor Bill
Our expansion of Cross planting throughout the world has been a wonderful blessingBut along with expansion comes challengesPastor Cosmas from Nairobi, Kenya traveled for us to the Congo planting 2 crosses and experienced major spiritual oppositionHis journey took 3 times longer than planned and spiritual opposition was stiffBut the Lord prevailedTwo Crosses were planted in the Congo "Declaring God's Glory." Upon his return Pastor Cosmas found that his pictures were corruptedJust another example of the opposition from our enemyThe pictures you will see for this Cross were sent during construction and are not the best qualityBut as always "To God Be all the Glory." Please continue to pray for the 90 Crosses --- we are just beginning --- our entire team needs your prayerpb Cross Giving Click Here

Hello, my name is Uwbikiye Jean Pierre with the Church of God, Goma, CongoI was born in a family of eight childrenWe were five boys and three girlsMy father died while I was still young, I am the sixth in our familySo, we were left with my mother, life was difficult and challengingI felt strangled by poverty so I ran away from home when I was fifteen and became a street boyOn the street, I was introduced to drugs, unclean living and stealingThis became my way of life for five years

When I was twenty a preacher came to my home town of Goma with a Christian CrusadeThe street gangs were excitedA large crowd was just what we needed to get drug money by picking pocketsWe all gathered at the crusade and dispersed among the peopleBut for me this day would be differentThis day I heard what the preacher was sayingHe talked of the love of God and he said that love verses hate is a choiceMy life was full of anger, bitterness and hateI had never experienced love in my life

For the first time, I was very attentive to every word the preacher saidIt was as though he was talking only to me amid all the peopleI knew I was there to pick pockets but I couldn't do itThe more I heard the more love filled me until I was overflowingThe preacher reached the end of his talk and asked, "Does anyone want to live this kind of love with Jesus Christ? If so come forward." I rushed forward and gave my life to Jesus.

Local pastors from all over the city were invited to the meetingWe were asked to find a pastor near where we livedI didn't know any of the pastors so I asked around and found one from my local Church of GodIt was close by and I became committed to it.

At first it was not easy for me because my friends tried to pull me back to the street with drugs and stealingBut I was determined not to let go of the love of Jesus

To make a long story short, my friends started calling me the church rat --- meaning the church was everything to me and became my homeI started carrying instruments to different parts of city for crusades, I was helping and participating in every church activity that came alongThe Pastor taught me the skill of carpentry --- he really took me under his wing while mentoring me.

Time came I had to go back to my mother's houseI had to share the love of Jesus with her and my family and ask for forgivenessI walked in a changed man and the entire family received me and joined in loving JesusI met my wife and we were marriedWe started this church two years ago and Jesus has been faithful each step along the way

Thank you, Pastor Bill and Pastor Cosmas, for this CrossIt is so necessary to show our people how much Jesus loved us that He died for us on the Cross.   

You can see a picture of Pastor Jean Pierre (on the right) and Pastor Cosmas with this Cross 


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: adventure, allegory, analogy,

In Peril Sing Christmas Carol

In Peril Sing Christmas Carol

Here is what to when you are in peril;
Sing to yourself a nice Christmas Carol;
You will be relieved,
Then Jesus received,
And now no longer will be over a barrel.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy, religious,

Radiance and Suspense

Radiance and Suspense

When our sin for us created a prison
For this very reason Jesus has arisen,
And again to return with His radiance
While we are waiting in much suspense
His presence have been sorely missing.

James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

Google or Bing following when you
get a chance:    ARISEN AHUBUDU
Let me know what you think about
this.


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Yesterday Was Transfiguration Sunday

Yesterday Was Transfiguration Sunday

Did you know that there are three heavens?

Was at StJames Episcopal, Shallotte, NC
listening to sermon yesterday.

Father Bob Hobgood said that we might,
Be awakened by God in middle of night;
Poems will appear,
So nice and near;
With ideas and thoughts did have a flight.

When I awoke in the middle of the night,
Of poems would appear their very sight;
After I adulated,
Poems created;
Did start writing down with pure delight.

Beneath roof of barn in cradle Jesus lays,
While outside in field flock of sheep graze;
No longer a slave,
Our praise we gave,
All things about our Jesus truly did amaze.

Remember time there was a transfiguration,
And in every nation had been much elation;
Light grew and grew;
Was Jesus we knew;
We ended up with an incredible celebration.

James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Bolivia, NC
 


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Stranger Saw His Manager

Stranger Saw His Manager

Even if a friend or maybe some stranger,
Would worship Jesus whole in a manager;
We must heed;
Made to lead,
And in future He did find much danger.

Jim Horn

This week’s lesson is “Taming the Tongue”, James 3:1-12
Additional verses to read this week are:  
·       Warning to teachers: Ezekiel 33:7-9; Acts 20:26-27; Ephesians 4:11-12; Hebrews 13:17
·       The root of evil speech: Isaiah 6:5; Matt 15:11, 16-19; Mark 7:20-23
·       Evils caused by the tongue: Psalm 5:9; 34:13; 52:4; Proverbs 6:16-17; 26:28
·       Consequences of our words: Matthew 12:33-37
·       Our part and God’s part in “Taming the Tongue”: Psalm 141:3; Proverbs 21:23; Romans 6:12-14; Galatians 5:16-26
As you read, make some notes related to these questions:
·       What does this scripture tell us about Christ?
·       What does it say about the nature of man?
·       What can I do to be more like Christ?
·       How does it help prepare me to do the will of God (Share the Gospel)?


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Jesus Was Resurrected

Jesus Was Resurrected

Remember when Jesus was resurrected,
As His Father commanded and directed;
God is His Guide;
Nothing to hide;
Back in heaven both of them are connected.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by Curtis Moorman |
Categories: christian, destiny, forgiveness, inspirational,

Eternally Speaking

ETERNALLY SPEAKING

A man named Jesus was heard to say
I am The Life, The Truth, and The Way
No greater word
May ever be heard
Will you accept Him today?


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Jesus Was Crucified and Died

Jesus Was Crucified and Died

We went to church and had nothing to hide,
And loved Jesus who was crucified and died;
A pleasant sort;
Us did support;
We all did want to come along for the ride.

Jim Horn

Getting deadly for a trip to Animal Kingdom
LodgeI mean readySermon was about no
one wanting to go to his son's weddingHe
must have really been a terror of the block.


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Jesus Grows and Grows

Jesus Grows and Grows

In my heart, Jesus grows and grows;
From Him into me His spirit flows;
What He did intend;
Live forever no end,
And shine on my face still shows.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Trump With Small Chubby Hands

Trump With Small Chubby Hands

Trump is unattractive with no appeal;
Claps chubby small hands like a seal;
Pompous and plump;
Of fat, a big clump;
You must bow down before and kneel.

Jim Horn

Trump On A Scooter

While Trump rode on a scooter,
He had come across a computer;
Quite confused,
And misused;
Did program as detective looking for a looter.

Jim Horn

it be when Jesus said what,
Again and again you in would butt;
A big boss;
Died on cross;
Told me to keep my big mouth shut.

Jim Horn

As turkey table gathered around, 
Our hearts had started to pound;    
When delayed, 
Was dismayed; 
Both drumsticks could not found.

Jim Horn



Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Body Odor Bad

Body Odor Bad

Mosquitoes are in air but whose;
Maybe you should pick and chose;
Body odor had,
Which was bad;
Someone else's they started to use.

Jim Horn

4998Almost there.




Anyone can enter my poems 
in any tests if they want to.

5000Imagine that.


We are not really human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are actually spiritual beings having a human experience!.
This immediately happens when Jesus becomes your savior.

Jim Horn

This is to thank Poetry Soup for my
free lifetime premium membership
now that I have reached 5,000
and am now number three in
total poetry productionThat 
is a great idea that you have.
Thanks very muchSure is a
great Christmas present.
James Thomas Horn





Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

On Knees Had Fallen Upon

On Knees Had Fallen Upon

On our knees we had fallen upon
Knowing that Jesus now was gone
Up to heaven high in the sky,
And never Him will we deny;
Each day will be a bright, new dawn.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Can Confide In Jesus

Can Confide In Jesus

We really wondered what was the matter;
Around countryside people would scatter;
Needed a guide,
Who in to confide;
Saw Jesus soon and around did gather.

Said many things while he was speaking;
Our Lord and savior we had been seeking;
After growing;
Flowers flowing;
Of hope, Jesus became a ray and beacon.

Jubilantly heard bells as they rang and rang;
Worshipers all around Jesus sang and sang;
Such a scene,
And so serene;
Under majestic mountain was wild mustang.

With Jesus close by we became enthralled;
Heard angels in sky as they called and called;
Here and there;
Then everywhere;
Were near a city which was proudly walled.

Down before Jesus on our knees did fall;
Some people were small while others tall;
Daughters with sons,
Who God never shuns;
He spoke to child and held her like a doll.

All of you may be precious children of mine;
Are always obedient never getting out of line;
Were with Jesus;
Loved Him to pieces;
Faces were brightly beaming and did shine.

After meeting discovered was over and done,
So happy and contented became everyone;
Jesus had satisfied;
On Him they relied;
He saved us from all sin and left were none.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Have A Happy Home Loan

Have A Happy Home Loan

At first we bought a home of our own;
After a while needed improvement loan,
And when billed;
Finances killed;
Saw how much and did moan and groan.

Jim Horn

When Jesus was actually a motherless child;
After all of the facts and figures we compiled;
A report made;
In manager laid;
Immaculate conception made Jesus meek and mild.

Guess whatOver ten againOh, well.

Around and around Trump liked to fiddle;
Then not only that twiddle and twiddle;
Foolish and fat;
Moron at that;
As usual ended up caught in the middle.


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

With Ears Open Wide

Still over ten and have to add my
poems to this one.

With Ears Open Wide

Many times we always have been impressed,
When Jesus Son of God was our great guest;
We never have lied;
With ears open wide.
For church to hear our priest we had dressed.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

What We Will Always Miss

What We Will Always Miss

There is a person who we will always miss;
Was Jesus who died and had been odorless;
Some men were wise,
Not wearing a disguise;
Met Mother Mary an emissary and an empress.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Languish In My Anguish 4999

Languish In My Anguish

Noticed that my patience did languish,
And my emotions were full of anguish;
Weary worn;
Full of scorn,
Not achieving what I can accomplish.

Jim Horn

4999




In dark for a long time we have been, Waiting for Jesus to come back again;  At end of tunnel is a glowing light, That is such a pretty sight, Becoming a radiant beam, So it did seem, And to all of my delight Christ in form of Santa will be here tonight.

Jim Horn

Before the ink was drying,
Trump was already falsifying

Sound familiar.


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

While Jesus Wept

While Jesus Wept

On more and ore sinning we had kept;
Jesus was sad and He wept and wept;
About Trump they say,
Brains all swept away;
God actually let Trump become inept.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

An Immaculate Conception

An Immaculate Conception

When Jesus was born as a motherless child;
After all the facts and figures were compiled;
A report made;
In manager laid;
Immaculate conception made Jesus meek and mild.

Jim Horn

Guess whatOver ten againOh, well.

Around and around Trump liked to fiddle;
Then not only that twiddle and twiddle;
Foolish and fat;
Moron at that;
As usual ended up caught in the middle.


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Jesus Wearing Some Sandals

Jesus Wearing Some Sandals

When we saw Jesus wearing His sandals,
Riding bicycle that did have long handles;
Trump lying;
Not  buying;
Praying God save us from all the scandals

And LSMFTLord save me from Trump
or Large Smells Means Flush Toilet.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
RiverSea Plantation
Bolivia, NC 28422

President and Power

Never realized President had so much power,
Is being on a horrible ego trip hour by hour;
Has  New York twang;
Hair orange like Tang;
Feels great while taking a Golden shower.

Let me guessYou are married to Hannah
and she has a hard heart and like Trump
not so smart which we knew from the start.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn

I do wear two facesMy other is:

James Serious Mysterious Horn

Will jump into a gallon of Jimmy Fallon 
any day.


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Savior Cause and Create

Savior Cause and Create

Whatever we have done be not afraid,
For in a crib our lovely Baby Jesus laid,
And at birth would be Savior's beginning;
Will save us from disagreeing and sinning.

With Christ Child Mary did become great;
Our Savior she would cause and create;
By God Himself she had been selected;
What we must do exactly is as directed.

Many animals with Wise Men were there,
Waiting to see Mary with a child to bare;
Jesus had been born beneath brilliant stars;
Later on wrists and ankles would bare scars.

Before Jesus each head was to be bowed;
Start singing songs and sounding so loud;
Be of joy and happiness without any fear;
Welcome Son of God Jesus who is now here.

Jim Horn