Limerick Poems About January | January Limerick Poems

THE QUEEN OF POOP ON POETRY SOUP

I post my poems on poetry soup
About farting and guys with brewer’s droop
I’ve been given a crown
And I won’t let Flo down  
Be assured I’ll keep on posting my poop!

Posted in conjunction with my blog about my amazing gifts from F J Thomas

25th January 2017

ELEMENTARY

The famous detective Sherlock Holmes
Hardly short on the wit chromosomes
With just a few clues
Bemuse and confuse
Unraveled crimes in the catacombs



Submitted on January 27, 2019, for contest LIMERICK 3 sponsored by JOSEPH MAY  -  RANKED 2ND

ABCDE: Doctor, Leave Me Be

An apple a day, so they say,
But some folk get carried away.
   Consumer advice:
   Don’t be imprecise—
Eat ten, and the doctor you’ll pay.

---

Date Written: January 9, 2019
Contest: Limerick II, sponsored by Joseph May

NUTS OVER A COCONUT

Fell in love with a coconut
The tree stood tall outside my hut
Love sublime at first sight
I thought I‘d have a bite
Lost both front teeth right on the spot



posted on January 17, 2019

Poet on a Date

A hopelessly poetic guy met
A scientist studying climate.
   Nearly all that she said
   Went right over his head,
But at least he was able to rhyme it.

---

Date Written: January 3, 2019
Contest: Limericks, sponsored by Joseph May

Robin Hood

Robin Hood and merry men took great delights
In protection of the peasants and their rights
But what really gave them pleasure 
And which emphasised their measure
Was cavorting through the forest wearing tights


31 January 2019

Portrait of a Lizard

Written: January 2, 2009
Updated: April 23, 2012

There once was a lizard named Rex(ie)
Whose head was always tilted and ready
Sitting next to the glass wall
Patiently waiting for Paul
To feed him tasty hornworm bread(ie).


Note: Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection

Hillary Clinton

She is a White House witch and feminazi
who rides her big broom like a kamikaze.
  The honesty test she fails,
  she lied about her emails
and covered up the truth about Benghazi!


             January 2016

Bah Humbug

A Grinch in a hamlet of Whovilles

Stole credit cards, ringing up big bills

     Without checking price tags

     He murmured, “Bah, Scumbags”

For this is how grinches get their thrills!




*January 3, 2015

HE'S BENT

I feel terribly sorry for Rodger
He developed a kink in his todger
It looked such a sight
when bent to the right
that his poor wife ran off with the lodger!

Submitted to Any poem (not for contest)
Sponsored by Broken Wings

1st January 2016

She was hot and blonde but she was not dumb
and innocently asked where I was from.
   "From Trinidad, how do you do,
       have you any Trini in you?"
No, she said, so I asked "would you like some?"


                  January 2016

       Note: A Trini is a Trinidadian.

There was a contest at PoetrySoup

Homer, Milton, Poe, entered as a group

   They worked from dawn till dusk

    For difficult found their task

But last they finished for did not snoop!




© Demetrios Trifiatis
   22 JANUARY 2015

Hot Rod
DrJames EMartin
©January, 2014


His hot rod was way too fast.
His lot was quickly cast.
He felt the need
For continual speed,
No gas station was ever passed.

At Christmas as always I ate
So much that I put on some weight
New year I must try
To stay off the pie
And next year, well I just can't wait.

The girl next door my attention commands,
from my window I gaze her buxom glands.
  When the moment I seize
  it's at times such as these
I'm so glad I'm not Edward Scissorhands!


             January 2016


              

The Skateboarder
DrJames EMartin
©January, 2014

A skateboard he tried to ride.
He didn’t there long abide.
It went airborne,
It did not forewarn,
He landed on his under side!

There once was a tiger at the zoo.
His eyes followed visitors like glue.
Teeth sparkled bright white.
Chops licked at their sight.
He wanted Zulu on his menu.

© January 17, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen

The Hooky, Cookie, Rookie
DrJames EMartin
©January, 2014

They say his nick-name is “Cookie.”
From school he’d often play hooky.
He was no fool,
Was actually quite cool,
It is evident he was no rookie.

The once was a man from Dunkirk.
The war came and he went berserk.
In the French battle field,
Local harlots did yield.
Escape came by fancy footwork.

© January 16, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen

Girl and Cell Phone
DrJames EMartin
©January, 2014

The phone was stuck to her ear.
Everyone she wanted to hear.
Every moment thus consumed,
Her life not resumed,
Sad life – it doth appear!

My sister Susie loved picking her nose
To her chagrin her little finger froze
It was stuck so far
Doc used a crowbar
Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose!



14TH January 2016

Cold Days
DrJames EMartin
©January, 2014

Days of summer are now gone.
Cold winter days we’re shown.
My great desire,
Is to sit by the fire,
Until greatly warmer I have grown.

Boy and His Scooter
DrJames EMartin
©January, 2014

The scooter scooted along
As he sang his favorite song.
He hit a big bump,
And took quite a lump,
On the scooter he does not belong!

I’m POSITIVE I’ve read that before
Yes I’m certain, I really am sure
So if you get caught
You’ll be quite distraught
Be aware … soup could show you the door!

19th January 2016

On January 2nd there’s a lot of people working out
They’ve made New Year’s resolutions, no doubt
They want to get slim
So they come to the gym
By January 4th their resolve has fizzled out