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Limerick Poems About Husbands | Husband Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: jealousy,

Wood Envy

Have I jealousy of my dear mate?
I don’t think I have any, but wait!
I sure wish I could pee
in the wood near a tree
like my husband does, standing up straight!

For Line Gauthier's Funny Limerick Contest

Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other husband Poems."


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor,

Blues News

There was a miserable husband of McNigh
Who had a tendency to frequently cry.
His wife filed for divorce
Causing him no remorse.
Now he’s happy as a drunk drinking rye.


Poem Details | by Gerard Keogh Jr. |
Categories: death, husband, lost love, satire

Ten Little Indians

You perfected your lies to an art.
You succeeded in breaking my heart.
I shed not one tear,
for the hour is near,
when arsenic will keep us apart.


Poem Details | by tom bell |
Categories: adventure, funny, husband, love, parody, passion, wife,

State Fair

There once was a woman named Shar,
Who went to her local State Fair,
Her husband came too,
Can't say no to you,
And they were quickly thrown out of there



Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: funny love, husband,

Who You Callin' Fattie-A Limerick

There was an old woman called Hattie
whose hubby's name for her was fattie.
So she cooked his goose
hung him from a noose
then buried him in a cow pattie!


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: beauty, holiday, husband, love, passion, sensual, wife,

Roses Scents

Scattered beautifully on our bed are roses But it's the one that I like that poses For it attracts in me My mind and body agrees Lay down whilst this Highlander proposes .


Poem Details | by iolanda Scripca |
Categories: funny, husband,

Woman-Owned Business Maker

Self-employed and partner in life
He "hired" some other guy's wife
Making golfing balls
Now he has two holes
My new business ?...Surgical Knives...

for Carolyn Devonshire's "Horrible Bosses"


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny,

The Calcium Thief

A badgering wife caused her husband such grief,
Each time she did he ground his teeth,
Over the years his teeth become
Nothing but stumps upon his gum,
His friends all called her, 'the calcium thief.'


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: humorous,

Deaf Husband

I'm just about deaf because of me wife,
Her very loud voice has caused all the strife,
It always goes up an octave or two
When she thinks I've made an incredible blue,
Trouble is I've been making mistakes all of me life.


Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: allegory, family, father, funny, husband, mother, wife

She really did get this call

I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
  
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,

        “He’s here at the bar
  
        Quick bring us your car,

Your husband just got in a brawl”


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, humor, husband, loss, marriage, wife,

Prepare for the Worst

That's a week the wife has been missing For years I've so longed this hoping Prepare for the worst the Police said Panic thoughts in my head The Charity shop was not my so wishing


Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: car, humor, husband, love, wife,

The Awwwsome Driving Lesson

The neighbors were running in fear
As into front room car did steer
What fate had approved
His words soon removed
Your parking’s improving my dear


Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: computer-internet, family, children, funny, husband, wedding, wife

Double Disappointment

I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”


Poem Details | by Joy Wellington |
Categories: husband, peace,

My Ex For Sale

Come one come all my ex for sale
His underwear being sold in bale
                 Naked on the block
                 Glad he is defrock 
His chest shows fear at the exsale


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor,

Limerick: Once a wife Nurse and husband Doctor

Limerick : Once a wife Nurse and husband Doctor

Once a wife Nurse and husband Doctor
Loved the meat served from Clinic larder
So they went in to see
Found morgue bodies for free
Since then stopped buying meat from butcher.

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, marriage, time,

The reluctant companion

The wife plans a spree to buy all
With husband on board at the mall
But as this takes place
He just looks for a space
To sit on a bench in the hall


Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: funny

Fishing or not

I went a fishin in the neighborhood pond
Just when I cast it in I had to suddenly abscond
I didn’t think it was wrong 
But the pond wore a thong
I was chased by the husband of Gertrude the blond


Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: funny, humor, humorous,

Meet the Husband

“We can’t go on meeting like this
‘Cause my husband’s all in a hiss”
- I found out: She’s right.
- met her husband tonight
I think it’s my face I will miss.


Poem Details | by Natalie The Rogue Rhymer |
Categories: husband, wife,

The Rogue Rhymer

There was a girl who spent too much shoppin’
The mean hubby said she best be stoppin’
So she started to mourn
But Rogue Rhymer was born
And now her checks are no longer hoppin’


Poem Details | by Archana Garg |
Categories: dream, husband, life, wife,

Husbands Are in Heaven Whose Wives Scold Not

All night I dream of life without wife,
Peaceful and heavenly, without any strife
No scolding, no nagging,
Like ‘sake’ I’m having.
Alas! Its morning and gone my life.

Dt 23/02/14


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, husband,

Terminator IV--The Wrath of Shriver

A husband's mistake in the sack
His marriage might seem to attack
Maria got hurt
By one little squirt
And Arnold can't say "I'll be back"


Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: dance, funny, funny love, giggle, humor, husband, soulmate,

Dancer

There once was a student from Gilroy
Who wanted to marry a tomboy.
But his parents protested
Then had him arrested,
And forced him to join the Bolshoi.


Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: humor, husband,

Rita

There was a young woman named Rit-a
who married herself a big cheat-a
When all's said and done
she found out she's one
does not need a man to complete -ha




written may 13 th,2013 for contest 5 Minute Challenge
sponsored by Russell Sivey


Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: husband, wedding, wife

The Secret

Once upon a time, thirty years ago,
In front of a priest I stood with my beau.
“Over time”, he hailed;
“The secret will be unveiled”,
“Of a truly happy marriage”; but I still don’t know.


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, husband, music, satire, wife,

Eine kleine Nachtmusic or a little serenade

Is this Mozart's musical score
Or sonata of sounds I abhor?
I have a good ear
But I'd rather not hear
The loud notes composed when you snore