Limerick Poems About Horses | Horse Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, voice,


Old blabber mouth gets on my wick His attitude makes me quite sick He plays to the crowd Is brash and so loud My husband thinks he's an idiot! Inspired by Stevie Wonder Song on the Radio today - He's Misstra know it all' WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON Impolite blabber mouths and know it alls completely ignore rules and protocols nasty comments they impart from the pit of a black heart Jackasses like that should be kept in stalls From that mouth erupts volcanic dribble He taunts with words until there's a quibble But runs with tucked tail With a cry and a wail! When he's bitten with more than a nibble WRITTEN BY LIN LANE His ego keeps growing up top Mouths opinion not gonna stop No poet nor bard He's such a blow hard Can't wait for his bubble to pop WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH A video was made for a surprise partyEach person, including children, pretending to spoil the surpriseWeebles were a type of toyLittle people that would wobble and not fall downHERE is the limerick: Who can stand them, blabbermouths in the know? Watch those weebles wobble and watch them go! Wee foibles whisper into ears. It’s for a surprise party, dears. Acting their parts, turns out it’s all for show! WRITTEN BY Kim Rodrigues © 7/2/2018 If your “wit” doesn’t get you that far, And all you’ve got’s blah blah blah blah, I’ll give you advice Cos I’m terribly nice... If you zip it, we’ll all shout “hurrah!” WRITTEN BY NINA PARMENTER There's nothing more infuriating than a know it all Who loves nothing more than to make you look small But its so lovely when they come up Against someone who knows their stuff And like old Humpty Dumpty they have a great fall WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM He always sings the same boring song With a foot in his mouth, and a thong He thinks he knows it all But I will make him fall Let me google it and prove him wrong WRITTEN BY TEPPO GREN He talks fast and has a huge head I’m sure he thinks of “bull” in bed His words are empty He gets no sympathy That’s all I have to say, enough said WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y I once met a man from Peru Who said he knew better than you He was a huge phony And full or balony He knew nothing, that he thought he knew WRITTEN BY CHARLES MESSINA I once knew a man from Brazil A know it all with looks that could kill once he opened his mouth it was like a babbling spout He was no longer much of a thrill WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN His horse races wearing no shoes Counts by fingers and toes by two's His life sick and sad Wants to be so bad Friends happy when he has the blues FIRST EVER LIMERICK WRITTEN BY ROBERT LINDLEY I know someone on poetry soup. Opens their mouth and words fly the coop. Tries so very hard to write, Condemnation is their plight! A name? I cannot that low stoop! WRITTEN BY MICK TALBOT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO JOIN IN AND WRITE A POEM ABOUT BLABBERMOUTHS THEN PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME YOUR LIMERICK AWARDED POEM OF THE DAY 3RD JULY - THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTED AND IS SHARING THIS HONOUR 7/2/18

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funnyhorse,

A Horse To Hate

There’s a horse that I so hate to see,
and at night sometimes he visits me.
His attacks to my thigh
make me think I might die.
Wild "Charley Horse" acts horribly.

For he comes out of nowhere, so fast!
And he brings a sharp pain like a blast.
I scream like a loon
hit by a harpoon.
Then my husband awakens aghast!

But my hubbie can’t help meThat horse,
though invisible, has such great force!
How I love my reprieves
when the little beast leaves.
But his kind never stays gone, of course!

My poor calf he attacked in a pool
while I swam, and I felt like a fool
as I floundered around.
Well, I could have drowned!
He’s a mean little horse and a ghoul.

He’s got kin, and they all like the game
of bringing folks painOne has fame
of attacking your womb
in a hospital room.
Now THAT one puts Charley to shame!!

By Andrea Dietrich

(note to those who do not know this common
 American expression: Charley Horse is a leg cramp
and all the his kin are assorted types of cramps!)

For PD's "Any Poem Goes" Contest

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: drink, humorous,


I had an old auntie called Mable Who could drink men under the table She’d tell folks of her gout Sup up six pints of stout - then stagger to the loo when able! 11~23~16 WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON My paternal aunt whose name was Mable Drank so much that she slept in the stable Her best bud was a horse It's why she got her divorce Her spouse was gone with the wind like Gable WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y Her pearl necklace made a clunk When in her glass a bead did dunk She pulled it out And drank her stout Then laughed thinking her necklace might be drunk WRITTEN BY CHRIS GREEN He denies his delivery by stork Still eats his soup with his fork but in the loo when dinner is through screams loudly for his buddy "O'Rourke" WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS I remember your auntie quite well I met her down at the well she threw me in made my head spin or was it the stout I can’t tell? Mable can sop up the suds the boys at the bar are her buds shouting with cheer beer after beer sounding the floor with their thuds Mable did not cry in her beer She would shout loud in your ear bursting of fable her fame would enable tales to bring lushes to tears Mable once sloshed to the loo well intent on loosing a poo a lowly spittoon became a lagoon her urge to purge was now through Sing a song of six pints, each of stoutest ale thus the queen of giggles, spins another tale about her next of kin who sports a raucous grin What is Mable’s encore? Drinking from a pail! ALL WRITTEN BY LIM'RICK FLATS (JOHN WULF) All knew my good uncle Aristotle Who always carried a whisky bottle Each step he took had a sip That's why was mostly asleep Till drunk was he found holding a pottle! WRITTEN BY DEMETRIOS TRIFIATIS The reason that Mable was laughing Was because of the man photographing He was standing there nude, so she asked as she viewed, "What is that infection your staffing?" WRITTEN BY RICHARD OLSON Mabel had a pint with her bagel Every morn at the kitchen table Her navel would be bare Covered by sable fur hair Poor gal stumbled into the stable WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER Come here laddie and have you a taste Don't let this magic go off to waste Suck her on down Smother that frown Soon Mable's troubles will be erased WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Mable downed four pints of ale Then found herself in the town jail Down the road she did run Streaking naked just for fun Please close your eyes, and go pay her bail WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER Mabel was pretty easily amused, replacing the beer with 100% prune juice, at her party, friends acting farty, her bathroom having a very long queue WRITTEN BY CHERYL HOFFMAN Mable was oft on the nightly news For drunk acts in the bars she would cruise Some would certainly mind Views of their own drunk blind But Mable just hid her toilet bruise WRITTEN BY CAYCAY JENNINGS There's a rumor I had to ignore That Aunt Mabel didn't drink any more But it was my guess That she didn't drink less As another Guinness she'd pour! WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY

Poem Details | by John Gondolf |
Categories: birthday, humorous,

The Rumor Going Round

There’s a rumor going ‘round it’s my birthday today; they say that I’m seventy years old..…no way. too many candles to light, it would take into the night. When did I suddenly turn old and grey. Some say I’m an old man and not too smart, but I say don’t put the horse behind the cart; ‘cause age is just a number not something to encumber, and this old man is still young at heart.
December 7, 2017

Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: funny,

A Day I Remember

Age six...I remember outside
I saw something great I could ride
We just had moved in
Can still feel my grin
When this big surprise I had eyed!

Beside the barn building it stood
I knew that my future looked good
Consider the fun
How fast it would run
And take me 'round my neighborhood!

Intentions to race down the lane
Were greater than I can explain
Asked daddy of course
Could I ride that horse
He laughed and said that's a Great Dane!

Sandra MHaight

~6th Place~
Contest: Eight Word Challenge
Sponsor: Robert Haigh
Judged: 03/18/2018

Required words to use in order of appearance:
   remember  outside  building  future  
   consider  intentions  greater  horse 

(This really happened! It was about 150' from our house,
a solid dark tan, and it was huge!)

Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: adventure, animal, dedication, funny,



Seeing the posting of the zoo unicorn
Could not wait to go see his horn
My eyes just could not believe
The boy I had  been deceived
Poor horse got thrown a lot of popcorn

 a Linda-Marie   = (contest) =

Poem Details | by Dan Kearley |
Categories: funny,

Oh The Wait

I wonder how much longer I must wait? I've been waiting like a horse at the gate With a tear in my eye I'm about set to cry And I'm not sure of how much more madness I can take? The problem is I really have to poop It must be from that bowl of oyster soup The line is just to long And my bowels aren't that strong So it's set to fly like a chicken leaving the coop I guess the waiting is just about done And I'm soon to be a fox on the run Everything should go well Except for the bad smell When I leave, I'm sure everyone will know I'm the one Black Eyed Susan's Contest: Wait..Ha-ha :o)

Poem Details | by george seal |
Categories: horse, race,

Horse racing

   There once was a young jockey called Morse,
   Who gave a nod and a wink to his horse.
   But the horse it was blind,
   So no way could it find,
   The winning post on the race course.

   6/ 1/ 2015.


   Do you agree,that an inclination of the cranium,
   Is equally as effective, as an oscillation of an optic,
   To an equine quadruped void of visionary capacity

   Translation of quote.

   Do you agree that a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.

   I do not know who wrote it My elder brother taught me this 
   when i was about fifteen years old.

Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: funny, history, military,


   He came dead last at West Point in his class,
   led his men to Little Big Horn en masse.
      But it was Custer who fell
      and Crazy Horse they tell
   was from that day on known as Kicking A$$!

                     May 2015

Note: changed this from a Clerihew to Limerick.

Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: introspection

Native American IndianTribute

Americans without doubt a giver
Navajo secret code did deliver
  To Hitler De Fuhrer
   Messages never clear
Red men spoke jumbled arrows of quiver!

Adolf’s lust thrust, the Indian giver
Receives back miseries he delivers!
   In arrow toting brothers
   Military discovers
God's quest in those saving mouths of quivers! 

Native brother’s saving grace delivers
By blessed mouths filled of spoken quivers!
   Now they ride the constrained range
   Without horse or pocket change
Long since lost from sight those medal slivers!

For Contest:Indian Giver~Limericks
In honor of DP

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor, universe,

Limerick: Once a Queen stuck to Doddering Duke

Limerick : Once a Queen stuck to Doddering Duke

Once a Queen stuck to Doddering Duke
Sent him on a mission with Lucky Luke*
Off on Jolly Jumper*
With Rantanplan’s* sister
Ever since Queen is free of/from rebuke.

Resources :

•	Lucky Luke : a French cartoon héro, the caricature of the Far West sharp-shooter
•	Jolly Jumper : in the Lucky Luke comic books, considered  « the  best horse in the world ».
•	Rantanplan : in the Lucky Luke series, considered « the stupidest dog in the Universe »

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: crazy, humor,

Limerick: Once a Dark Horse in a handicap

Limerick : Once a Dark Horse in a handicap

Once a Dark Horse in a handicap
Led head, tail and hoof in the last lap
All eyes on winning post
Cameras clicked the most
Horse lost in the negative, so clap !

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013

Poem Details | by Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories: funny,

A Dog

A dog went to the vet today He saw a horse eating hay got a fleabite and set alight and asked for an action replay! Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2014 10.16.2014

Poem Details | by Richard Pickett |
Categories: friendship,

A Poet, Named Robert Dufresne

There is a Poet, named Robert Dufresne,
I laugh at his Poetry until I'm insane
with Brick Townsend, he plays,
a collaborative game
But Bill Lipton's Horse is a pain.

Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: angst, animals, life, nostalgia,

A Distempered Horse

There once was a skinny horse name George.
Poor ole soul lived alone in a gorge.
Three fit sheep came his way.
They were traded that day.
Matted, bony, his belly engorged 

Onward He forged, living on the brink.
I’ll save him, one young maiden did think.
Head hung; life was his game.
George, his infamous name.
She prayed; from his needs, she did not shrink.

George would not drink; lips were cracked and dry.
She asked God, “Please don’t let him die.”
Water was his kismet.
Sweet feed filled hope’s bucket.
She cut out mats; whisked away each fly.

Six months later, George was still alive.
Lips were moist; he ate; began to thrive.
With some flesh on his bones,
And relieved of his groans,
The day of her moving would arrive.

The time came when George had to be sold.
Half Arabian, not very old
Registration papers.
The old trader’s capers,
You promised them, the young girl cajoled.

How could he live; does he have luster?
Papers lost; no death by distemper.
Confessions on that day,
The girl went away.
Compassion to the horse did whisper.

New owners bought him, his health still poor.
His price and potential was the big lure.
They quickly changed his name.
Greener pastures, the game.
Star’s beauty became his life’s encore.

© June 7, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: A Horse Story 	 
Sponsored by: Carol Brown

(Based on a true story)

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny,

The Mustang And The Thunderbird

A Mustang and a Thunderbird tangled

   Both automobiles were badly mangled

      When the cops sorted it out

         There was seen strewn all about

            Horse manure and feathers when untangled

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No1 in PD's "Another Crazy & Fun Limerick Contest #2" - June 2012

Poem Details | by MD Johnson |
Categories: funny, humor, silly, ,

I Meant To Say

I said he’s dumb when I meant to say smart
Should have said “she’s cute” instead of “she’s tart” 
  Confusing my words,
  Like one of those nerds
I always put the horse before the cart

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funnyhate, horse,

Just Horsing Around with Limericks

(sorry, Tirzah, I could not do a nice long poem on horses.
I just felt like doing some silly limericks playing off expressions
for horsesThanks for the inspiration!)

I Hate that Horse

There’s a horse that I so hate to see,
And at night sometimes he visits me.
His attack to my thigh
Makes me think I might die.
That Charly Horse acts horribly!

Horses Have Ears, Ya Know

“I could eat a horse!” hungry bob said
To his friends as he rode his horse, Ned.
Taking it the wrong way,
Ned reared up with a “neigh!”
Bob fell off and got kicked in the head.

Pony Up

“Pony up,” said the seamstress in town
With the new bride’s hand-sewn beaded gown.
But having no dough,
The bride cast her eyes low,
Saying, “Sorry, but my pony is down.”

In Our One Horse Town

We love ostrichesHaven’t you heard?
Yes, it’s true, and I give you my word
Just one old mare lives here.
Had no foals; she is queer.
So each cowboy just rides a bird!

For Tirzah's "A Horse is a Horse of Course" contest

Poem Details | by Tom Wright |

Ride'm Horse Boy

Ride’m Horse Boy By Tom Wright Friend Roy tried his hand with bucking horses. Overestimating the power of gravity’s forces, The first spin was rough, Landing Roy on his duff, Now he seeks wages from alternate sources. Roy, I call’em like I see’m, And I see Cowboys riding cows, And Horse boys riding horses. Tom

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny, humorous,

Grand Canyon Jump

This is an ode to Sally-Jo,
Her silver spurs and the horse she rode,
As their mighty leap slowly unwound
They jumped the Grand Canyon in a single bound,
But it was deemed wind assisted as a hurricane blowed.

Poem Details | by Leonard Taormina |
Categories: funny, imagination, parody,

The Abuse of Chartreuse

The lady was dressed in” chartreuse;”
To which she made of good use.
Her honey spent money;
On dinner so yummy;
And came close to sexual abuse.

The lady was cloaked in “chartreuse;”
And her magic was that of a muse.
While mixing a potion;
She came up on a notion;
That the men in her life were no use.

The man did tighten the nose;
After giving the lady a boost.
She was a wrong doing woman;
And what ever he did she had coming.
She was his woman the Lady “chartreuse”

The man who sat at the table;
Had purchased his new girl a sable.
While she swilled her champagne;
 All she did was complain;
About her horse named chartreuse in the stable

“Chartreuse” is simply a hue’
Not black or not red or not blue.
It’s a color not primary;
Like Susan or Mary;
But it’s still on the spectrum its true.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: sad,


Tally-ho, the young steeplechase rider cried As his horse stumbled over the barrier he up and died The rider went flying He heard as he lay dying “Welcome cowboy” he heard a voice from the other side © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by Tahira Parveen |
Categories: evil, funeral, gothic, grave,

Unreceived Parcel

Unreceived  Parcel

I have sent your parcel Please be patient  
Your curtain hooks have been sent 
It's on its way
Yes sir, I have sent it 
I will make a special deliver 
Through the dark forces of night 
In horse and cart 
Await me at 2 am tonight 
Leave the window slightly ajar 
I will ring three chimes on my arrival 
With your special delivery 
Slide open the window 
Look down You will see me standing there with your parcel 
Slowly on your toes  
Push forward and slide out the window 
Reach for me 
Then you will have your parcel  
I will have delivered the goods 
Your wife will have curtain hooks to hang the curtains  
Then your curtains will be closed forever 
I will place roses on your grave 
Sending you a graceful goodbye 
Delivering, your unreceived goods

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor,

Limerick: Once a Firebrand Fraulein from the Black Forest

Limerick : Once a Firebrand Fräulein from the Black Forest

 Once a Firebrand Fräulein from the Black Forest
In winter went out to cut wood sans vest
In fact sans Lederhose
Nor even horse fire hose
So she got fired on wood with zest.

So she got fired for good in jest.

So she got fired by Crook in earnest.

So she got fired in crook by Earnest.

So she got fired with Earnest in the nest.

(and so on and on…)

© TWignesan – Paris, 2013

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: humor, relationship,

Caressing Her Beauty

Mr and Mrs walking down the High Street Shoe shop window her eyes did now greet Into the shop they both went Oh! those boots, please consent Too dear, no purchase, no receipt Ready for bed and feeling so fruity His hand now caressing her beauty Cutting sharpness she says With no payment display No horse shoes, your not riding it's booty .

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny, religion,

Bishop's Anoyance

   The bishop said it was such a disgrace
That the minister's horse lacked much pace,
   He remonstrated it was a cardinal sin
    When you put the church's money in
  And it finishes last in a six furlong race.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: future,

No More Rides On A Sleigh

Mildest autumn on record up here What will become of us in future years Will we all melt away No more rides on a sleigh Just a horse and buggy, no muffs on our ears © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Cautiously Caught My Eye

Cautiously Caught My Eye

This saying cautiously caught my eye;
Should never let a poor dead horse lie
Not a sound,
Made around;
Go ahead and bury him and then cry.

Jim Horn

By Big Wings

By big wings we were forced to fly,
Even when wet or soon will be dry;
We flew in curves,
Small and swerves,
In and through clouds in the sky.

Jim Horn

Can Be Choral Response

Moore created example becoming a moral;
Many responses were in form of a choral;
Lost cause became,
And him to blame;
Sins committed are both mental and moral.

Jim Horn

All Over Again Have To Start

All over again we will have to start,
Being someone had change of heart;
Could be contiguous,
About being ambiguous;
No one did prefer playing the part.

Jim Horn

Over and Then Done

Finished things and are over and done;
Now can rest by sighting in bright sun;
You did convey,
Not your way;
Way you wanted it was not the one.

Am putting up Christmas decorations.

Jim Horn

You Can Hardly Wait

Are things to do that you can hardly wait;
What I hope and wish is you appreciate;
Might be behind;
Changed my mind;
So another new idea decided to create.

Jim Horn

Words I Am Frequently Using

I have noticed that be, being and been,
Are words I used over and over again;
Am deserving;
Next ones are how, where and when.

Jim Horn

Signified Being Dignified

In social circles certain things are signified;
You are did determine to become dignified;
Pick and choose,
And if not loose;
Then later in life on myself still being relied.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny,


Now I think I have to concede
My Jenny horse eats too much feed,
Loves her chaff, loves fresh grass,
But through the barn door she can't pass,
Clearly a case of food stampede..

Poem Details | by Cindi Rockwell |
Categories: fun, funny, silly,


It was one of those mornings, alas
When me horse bit me right in my ass
So I turned him around
Gave HIS arse a pound
And got blown out the stall by his gas!!!

It was one of those mornings again
But the horse stall was flooded with men!!!
I said with a smile,
"How fast is your mile?"
At a cheer, I said, "Saddle up then!!!"

Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: travel

Bart the Chauffeur

There once was a chauffeur called Bart,
Who had a Rolls that wouldn’t start.
He wanted to be green -
His boss was very mean -
So now he drives a horse and cart.

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny, life, future,

Jurassic James

My name is Jurassic James
An ageing Dinosaur it seems
Middle aged I have hit
Quite frankly it's shit
Take me back to twenty to dream

Wonderful, I'm now back to that time
Playing pool and every things fine
I'm out with the boys
Getting pissed and enjoying
Meeting girls and being so entwined

Then there was the night one met
The right one my future was set
Now married with kids
My pool days now rid
Decisions made, now no regrets

Now back to the future we go
A dark horse now starts to show
What's fixed is now broken
Jurassic James has now spoken
I'm now free and single you know

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: sad,

Destroying Paradise

We're losing our beloved horse pasture out back Progress is destroying paradise, everything's out of whack Soon the world will be paved over Surely no more rolling in clover Seems like us guys are about to run off the track © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous,

Limerick: Once Steppes Chief Mongol in a loose hose

Limerick: Once Steppes Chief Mongol in a loose hose

Once Steppes Chief Mongol in a loose hose
Tried to jump Great Wall with horse and Rose
Horse kicked hole in hose goal
Chief bored hole in the Wall
Guess who licked Rose red-in-the-nose?

© TWignesan – Paris, 2013

MERRY XMAS to ALL Soupers !

Poem Details | by Erich Goller |
Categories: funny,

The Birds And The Bee's

The Birds And The Bee's Wilton is asking his future bride Sweetheart you like to go for a ride? Come on lets mount the horse We ride the entire course Hold on Honey the horse might get wild. After a wild up and down long ride She became his wining jockey bride The jockey makes him hot So they practice a lot Now their ride got mild she is with child Erich J.Goller Copyright © 11.7.2005

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humor,

Hurry Up And Wait

Life is filled with, “hurry up and wait!” Things in sequence, must keep a steady gait No horse before the cart Must play it real smart Else our beano will spilt asunder and our ass will separate

Categories: fun, nonsense,

LIMERICK OF THE DAY Harry was lost

                                 Harry was lost in  a crush of ladies
                            They fell on him and  threw him in eddies
                                         Lucy munched his coat
                                        As a horse chomped oat
                           Got crushed on Harry and asked for addies

 Harry was lost /Limerick Copyright (C) Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty 24 November 2014

Poem Details | by David Horne |
Categories: fun, humorous,

'Six Little Fingers' or The Norwich song

When I was a boy of two or three,
My dad and cousin said to me;
'You'll be the gee-tar player in a big folk band',
‘'With those six little fingers on your right webbed hand',
So he went straight out to make me a star,
And he sold his horse and bought a new gee-tar; 
But a band needs maybe two or three, 
So my daddy brought in some family.
There was cousin Jeb with his massive chin, 
He could play pee-anna and the violin, 
There was cousin Pete on the double bass, 
His teeth were huge and covered half his face.
My cousin Jane was an easy choice,
With her long gold hair and an angels voice;
And daddy noticed too that as she grew, 
She had udders like our old cow daisy too.
We practised hard till we were good,
But every now and then we would;
Be forced to play without our singer,
Cause she'd be in the hay with a local minger.
So when we'd growed and we could play,
We loaded up the cart one day,
We headed out, past our own land
With my six little fingers on my webbed right hand.
We got on stage on the opening night,
My hand felt stiff and my stomach tight; 
But we couldn't begin without our Jane, 
And she'd disappeared round the back again.
The curtain opened but the stage was bare, 
We couldn't find jane anywhere; 
Then I found them bangin in the nearest loo,
 Now cousin jane is my auntie too!
We came back to Norwich and broke up the band,
I'm not the big star that Daddy had planned,
But I'm the fastest milker in the whole damned land, 
With my six little fingers on my webbed right hand.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: patriotic, political,

Have To Go Vote

Have To Go Vote

Have to go vote than unify
Even though county is dry
Things became complicated
While in long line I waited
Had one more drink with a sigh

Here's to you with many cheers
All our hopes and also fears
Finally came to fruition
When beans became my ammunition
Started passing gas with many tears.

Discovered we were at day one
Did not start and had not begun
Had looked into my cereal bowl
Image said can you cajole
Some who are abusive men.

To vote up people had all lined
Trump many he has maligned
Also us taken advantage of
Never shared any of his love
Hillary causes peace of mind.

Battle, Saddle Tattle

About to be in a big battle
Up on horse will have to saddle
When you do ride his
Look down and see him pass by
Trump telling tale he did tattle.

WowJim Horn

Just wrote all of this from 0700
to 0800 on Voting DayThe challenge
is hearing things on the television
and turning them into poems.
Try it sometimeWhich one did
you like the best and with you 
mind had messed and by God
had been blessed while they 
live in my love nest.

Poem Details | by Alexis Y. |
Categories: humorous,


       There was once an old witch named Mae
    Who got her spells wrong, every single day
                  Turned her cat into a bat,
                    And sister into a gnat
Salem found out, now she's a horse and eats hay

Alexis Y


Poem Details | by Howard Tunick |
Categories: animal,

Long Ears

There once was a horse with long ears

She was better than all of her peers

But treated quite cruel 

‘Til they found her quite cool

Cause not really a horse but a mule

Poem Details | by Lu Loo |
Categories: grandmother, humorous,

Limerick Contest-Bawdy

"There'll BEANO More Money For You!!!" It’s time to visit Uncle Sam, though he doesn’t quite know who I am- Used to call me Nellie, my true name is Ellie, he was never part of the fam! So, I showed up on a white horse, he forgot who I was…OF COURSE! Said “I got some bad news, pops and grams said they’re through, left you money in the divorce.” Sam lifted up his gut to fart, I said, “OH NO! PLEASE DON’T YOU START!” Like at mom's reunion, or my First Communion, his gas sounded just like Mozart! Now what was I supposed to say, I’d been tired from riding all day- “Where’s my money Nellie?” tucked it in his belly, got on my horse and rode away. Next day grams called me on the phone, she said Sam wouldn’t leave her alone- He wanted more money, grams thought that was funny, on BEANO his money was blown! Syllable count: 8-8-6-6-8 April 27, 2017

Poem Details | by Anisha Dutta |
Categories: funny, humorous,


          HUMPTY- DUMPTY

        Sat on the wall, funny fatty Humpty-Dumpty.
         In egg-shaped uniform he was king’s sentry.
                           Eating butter and bread,
                          taking needle and thread
      repairing shiny white dress quite pretty.

     All the king’s men under Humpty- Dumpty
       served prompt fifteen cups of green tea.
                    Humpty-Dumpty took sips
                     With broad wide soft lips
     asked for more food and snacks from king’s pantry.
    Humpty-Dumpty wanted ride on road side view.
     All the king’s horses were standing in a queue.
                     Humpty-Dumpty chose one,
                     In the last race that won.
    All the king’s cats and kittens started calling mew-mew.

     Horse neighed loud running on stormy speed
      Humpty-Dumpty had great fall but did not bleed.
                  Egg-shaped armour broke.
                   He wore a wooden cloak.
     Humpty-Dumpty, King’s sentry good in deed indeed.

                Third Place
 'The mystery of Humpty Dumpty' Contest by Faraz Ajmal


Poem Details | by connie pachecho |
Categories: funny love, horse, humor,

From St Patrick's pent horses to out horse

From StPatrick's pent horses to out horse

She rode StPatrick's day wild horses
Through leprechauns and lucky Joe's of course
She rode her horses well
Every horse loved her swell
In came a pony changing the concourse

connie pachecho


Poem Details | by Sarban Bhattacharya |
Categories: metaphor,

Limerick 1

Poor Tom did not know how to ride, 
Encouraged, the first time he tried, 
But the horse was mad, 
It galloped being glad, 
Down the brook letting Tom to glide.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, food, humorous,


We dined at a Hungry Horse pub and sampled some delicious grub We tried curries and pies Lovely gammon and fries But now I can’t fit in the tub! 6th April 2017

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: sad,

Destroying Paradise

We're losing our beloved horse pasture out back Progress is destroying paradise, everything's out of whack Soon the world will be paved over Surely no more rolling in clover Seems like us guys are about to run off the track

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

See Trump Proliferate

See Trump Proliferate

Prefer to see Trump began to proliferate
Into wide open spaces and can hardly wait
And infinity soon do start to disappear
Even though Putin's horse thinks its queer
That Trump and he are close soul mates.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: horse,


In Camelot there was a bold knight
And for him nothing seemed to go right
Fell off his horse with a thud
Into some slurry and mud
Now his armour no longer shines bright.

Written 18 April 2018.

For limerick contest
Sponsor Robert Haigh.

Poem Details | by Talin Kalishian |
Categories: i love you,

Limerick Contest

The smile

There was a bright man in white
Who rode on a horse so wild
Gazed a smile in might
Held the halter tight 
Then flew with an angel's kite