My divine manual and life prospectus is the Bible
my ways, a beautiful mirror sparkling like clean Marble
falsehood can’t colour my teeth
Jesus Christ is not a myth
the hope of eternal life, a conviction, not a gamble.
Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick
Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick
His red nose was gleaming
Blue eyes they were streaming
I hope that Santa will give him some Vick
24th December 2014
I hope my poems in their entirety
Live on beyond my notoriety.
But I sure don't wanna
Be the guest of honour
Read at the Dead Poet's Society!
For the Limerick II - For Fun Contest.
We all need purpose to get up each day
To combat the negatives, send them away
Most days are good
As we hope they would
But surprises are waiting to our dismay
© Jack Ellison 2016
Dear dear Mo, my capitol friend
A Minister of Joy each morning she sends
An Ottawa leader of happiness
We citizens are blessed
Hope she's re-elected and her term doesn't end
When all's said and done, there's more to be done and said
Like how's our dear Mary, hope her fungus hasn't spread
And what about poor Thelma
With her deviated antenna
And poor Nikita, fresh radishes growing on her head
Don't know if you've noticed but life is like a baseball game
You start out as a rookie, then get through the middle frames
You start to notice the signs
It's the bottom of the ninth
Seems like a quick game but hope for extra innings remains
I hope you have angels
watching over you
Because, the way
you live your life is'
A CRIME !
Been writing Limericks in the last while
In my own inimitable quite naughty style
Hope I get by those censors
Nothing gained, nothing ventured
Might be singing “in a while crocodile”
© Jack Ellison 2013
So you think you’re going to hole me
Teed off well and on the green rolled me
Looked like hole in one
Then all hope was gone
When old albatross swooped and stole me
Have you tried suppressing a big fart -
Clenching your buttocks is a fine art
You hope your windy gas
Doesn’t shoot out your ass
and from the room you quickly depart
7th March 2015
Inspired by BL Devnath’s Please don’t laugh poem
The Easter egg hunt was a blast,
With everyone running quite fast
Confetti in our hair
Not to mention underwear
Let's hope that dye isn't cast.
Jim flicked off the bedroom wall LIGHT
With HOPE of a wild sex filled night
But the tone of his wife
Made him fear for his life
Guess she’s keeping her legs shut tight
L & H Contest – Sponsor Catie Lindsey
For Halloween I want to be a wicked witch
With nothing but evil sewed in every stitch
Give the kids lots of candy how awesome
Then I'll scare the pants right off them
And just hope I don't wake up in a ditch
FOR HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST
There once was this lady I was desiring
Upon meeting she became so damn tiring
She kept me up all night
And fatigued I took fright
I hope that it was blanks I was firing
Suzie sure did love technology
when Botox became her friend
each wrinkle it did mend
now she's a part of biology
First he slinks off the field with a miss,
so forlorn, then the chance to do this.
Will we boo him to shame?
Will we drink to his name?
The ball is downThe kick is up! The kick is...
My little one is going to school
The joy on his face and mine is so cool
His first day is monday
I hope he will be okay
While I'm at home acting a fool
light a candle
let it glow with hope
let its thin film of smoke
disperse the dark clouds
let it drizzle and frizzle out your stress,
let it wash off the stench of sweat
let your pregnant hope
deliver twins and triplets;
multiple tales of success
Doing chores in the buff on my mind
apron strings dangling down my behind
I hope he keeps mum
about seeing my bum
'coz my window cleaner's just resigned!
~Never I ever get the blues
~Wearing my favorite striped shoes
~~~I love my Reeboks
~~~With high top tube socks
~This pair I hope never to lose
In honor of SKAT and Contest
Pen flies when out of sight,
Boy, I hope that I'm right.
No award for me,
What a shame that'd be,
At least I gave it all my might.
Enlightenment, Harmony, Hope
will give to the wordsmith great scope.
Competitions are hard
for a poor simple bard.
So will I win this one? Er nope!
For Russell's E H H Competition.
There once was a sneeze named “Ker-chew”
His cousin next door was named “Flu”
He found "cold" in the hallway,
And threw up on the walkway,
I do hope he doesn’t find you!
~written for Gwendolyn's challenge~
There once was a man from Rome
who's head was shinny like chrome
gave the world spiritual hope
was given the title of Pope
now he wears a hat like that of a gnome