Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
appreciation, giving, humorous, poetry,
I’ve received an incredible gift
It has given my heart such a lift
But the date that I see
Is what now concerns me –
It’s the date I no longer exist!!!
Today I was gifted a 'lifetime' premium membership but it is somewhat disconcerting to see it ends on 3/20/2077I hope TPS aren't psychic!!!!
My mother's great great aunt lived to 111 and 121 days and was in the Guinness book of records - I hope I am around a long long time to make full use of this incredible gift.
14th October 2016
|
Poem Details | by
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories:
allegory, fantasy, father, funny,
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
birth, body, humorous,
I crossed my legs but there was a flood
Blushing red I hope folks understood
But my waters had burst
And the baby's my first
Guess I'm ready to start motherhood!
NOT FOR CONTEST
WRITTEN on 27TH August 2016 BY JAN ALLISON
My babe arrived as hungry as a horse
As a good mother, I fed him, of course
When my breasts began to fill
Another flood was about to spill
Until my child suckled with great force.
WRITTEN ON 08/27/16 BY LIN LANE
The first twelve months went mighty quick
Time flying by lickity split
Crawls out of bed
Sits on mom's head
A young fireman squirting his stick
WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY TIM SMITH
Hay, thought I heard another sound of thunder roar
Eeh gad, seems to be another two babies more
They all have lots of hair
Mother-in-law beware
Now I am having triplets let me out the door
WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY EVE T M C
He was born without a suntan
And didn’t favor the milk man
Birthed on a polar bear rug
Full beard on his tiny mug
Holding a harpoon like Tarzan!
WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER 8/27/2016
Oh my! What will people think?
My baby doesn’t favor his dad’s wink
I can always claim in shame
He favors my grandma’s frame
On my mother’s side is large and pink
WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER 8/27/2016
One baby after another
I sure am a busy mother
I cross my knees
Whenever I sneeze
Out one end or the other!
WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE
It’s all my darn uterus’s fault,
Can’t bring my crying to a halt,
No more sex with my hubby,
I’m just too tired and chubby,
This babe’s an exhausting result!
Ice came out sucking a pacifier,
Posted sign, “Eskimo nanny for hire!”,
But when warm milk is felt,
Baby started to melt,
Naughty nanny immediately fired!
The ice came out with a binky,
And a diaper pretty stinky!
Eskimo baby is she,
Could it even be a he?
It’s too frozen and all wrinkly!
ALL WRITTEN BY LAURA LOO
One by one they came out, midwife slapped 'em
and into the cradle she packed 'em
father blew candle out
and exclaimed with a shout
" Just like moths, it's the light that attracts 'em!"
WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY
Making babies was so much fun
Now my boobies reach to my tum
I can't even sneeze or cough
It set's my weak bladder off..
I'd better stick to coke and rum
WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS
AWARDED POEM OF THE WEEK ON 28TH AUGUST - THE HONOUR IS SHARED BY US ALL.SPECIAL THANKS TO LIN LANE FOR STARTING THE COLLABORATION
I'm feeling like a slot machine
My wheels stopped on three tangerines
Babies falling like rain
It's no longer a strain
That last one looks just like my spleen
WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER
I thought I was going to have two
But now I don't even have a clue
It feels like maybe four
I can't take it no more
I have five months to go til I'm due
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
I was rushed to the hospital gate
not yet due, but I just couldn't wait
labor's water broke through
elevator broke too
flooded stairwells to room did create!
WRITTEN BY SANDRA HAIGHT
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
body, humorous,
A nubile young vicar named Jude
Was seen swimming, totally nude
The bishop said WOW
Just look at you now
Your assets - they need to be viewed!
Fiction write!
07-05-17
Invited him home for a drink
A toast as their glasses did clink
Robes down on the floor
Performing a chore...
How far will this story now sink.
WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH
The vicar bent over to pray
The bishop could not look away
So for his protection
Took up a collection
A robe now conceals his display
WRITTEN BY CHRIS GREEN
I think this story about being nude will sink low
I will tell on those guys, all I know
Those two men are not holy
The bishop's roly-poly
And the vicar used to be in a nude girly show
WRITTEN BY LIN LANE
The bishop was feeling romantic
The vicar thought the man pedantic
When the vicar turned around
To give the bishop a frown
The bishop gasped, "Lord, you're gigantic!"
WRITTEN DALE GREGORY COZART
Said Jude, will we both go to hell-
Said bishop, you never can tell
But please will you turn
I've got carpet burn
And my knees are beginning to swell
WRITTEN BY GARY SMITH
As the bishop continued to stare
He thought such a body's not fair
To see the nude vicar
was hard on his ticker
and soon he had to change underwear
WRITTEN BY ROGER ADAMS
Mother Teresa told me so
In the heaven we’ll dance too slow
If you want to come
Bring us some Rum
Otherwise you may stop and go
WRITTEN BY PASHANG SALEHI
btw..What would the Pontiff say?
Would there be hell to pay?
Or would the Pope
just drop the soap
and hope he'd be invited to play
WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS
When suddenly a knock at the door
they decided they'd rather ignore
in walked the pope,
joined in the group grope
next day they were all saddle sore
WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER
The pope thought it not at all freakly
when asking the other men meekly
that if they were game
and would do the same
they could set up appointments weekly
WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART
Jude's assets developed so well
As the bishop could obviously tell
But you might be surprised
How it grew to that size
Well, he used it to ring the church bell
WRITTEN BY RAY GRIDLEY
07-06-17
|
Poem Details | by
Lin Lane |
Categories:
storm,
Too many hurricanes are causing havoc this season We might as well have a limerick collaboration about them since they seem to be in the news Please join in by sending me your limerick in a soup mail or email.
Hurricane Maria is the latest ole windbag
She'll huff and puff till her eye walls sag
She's blowin' in the tropics
Catastrophic among topics
Heed the warning of that hoisted red flag
by: Lin Lane
I’ve heard Maria’s cooking up a storm
Pack your bags and head where it’s warm
She’ll cause such destruction
Which will lead to disruption
These old wind bags, they never conform!
These hurricanes really don’t care
Tossing houses right into the air
They’re a bane in our life
Like an old nagging wife
It's no wonder that folks cus and swear!
by: Jan Allison
Oh Maria I hope you just fizzle out
You're so full of wind with a nagging spout
Hurry and disappear
Blow on out of here
We're tired of that same old raspy shout
by: Tim Smith
Oh Maria, we have had enough
We don't want to see you puff
We don't want to stress
Or clean up your mess!
Just weaken, and stop acting tough!
by: Heidi Sands
Oh bad Maria, you have gotten so volatile
Blow yourself out and make people smile
Or maybe there's a chance
Another name you'll enhance
Hurricane Madness sounds very erstwhile
by: Seren Roberts
Cinder's sits on the toilet in fear
Of the ugly sisters to appear
Irma arrives there first
Maria next to burst
gave cinder's chronic diarrhea
by: Roy Pett
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Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
conflict, humorous, political, world,
Ron Dump says he’ll destroy North Korea
With finger poised, we have so much to fear
He’s a power mad glutton
With his hand on the button
Will the universe still exist next year?
BY JAN ALLISON
I just hope his finger gets stuck
Where his bum cheeks do tuck
I don't live in fear
Long as they're up there
oh Don why are you such a schmuck
BY TIM SMITH
He couldn't have made it clearer
His objections to North Korea
Did his blow up doll fail
At the point of his exhale
Revenge is a good butt cleaner
BY SEREN ROBERTS
Ron's trigger finger is too quick to attack
Mouth gets him in trouble for talking smack
A rocket up his butt
Another to his gut
Should put an end to Ron Dump, the quack
BY LIN LANE
In the genre of equal time
May I present my 2 cents and a dime
Rocket Man's been coddled
By Barack Obama's Bobble
Now Trump is gonna get him back in line!!!
BY CHUCK MELUGIN
To the moon ‘North Korea’ the Rocket Man says
I can press this button because I’m the Pres
But his hands are much too small
Can he do it at all?
A comedic tragedy like Lucy and Desi Arnaz.
BY WINGED WARRIOR
Supreme dictator mad Kim Jong un
shows off his massive hydrogen gun
Donald trump wants to play
time for us all to pray
Irreversible act when they're done.
BY ROY PETTS
PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME YOUR POEM IF YOU WANT IT TO BE ADDED
09-19-17
|
Poem Details | by
JEAN MURRAY |
Categories:
basketball, beauty, friendship,
JEANIEMAC
Rub a dub dub two in a tub.
Where did the soap go?
He lay back flat
Right on his back.
While she fiddled about below.
TIM SMITH
Rub a dub dub I fell in the tub.
I swear to you Lassie it's not always a stub.
The water is cold.
I'm getting old.
Come a little closer and give it a rub.
LIM'RIK FLATS
Jeanie and Timmy alone in the tub.
Sounds like a poem which might need a scrub.
I cannot say s*x.
Not sure about pecs.
H**l, the censors might just overdub
ARTHUR VASO
Rub a dub dub, there's three in a tub.
Sure hope one doesn't give it a rub.
The lassie is fine.
She has two to shine.
EVE ROPER
Rub a dub dub four in a swingers tub.
Girls raised their glass, boys the stilettos subs.
Full of champagne and olives.
Pond koi had other motives.
Oh la la,, that's not the knob it's my club!
|
Poem Details | by
Funom Makama |
Categories:
christian, god, gospel, jesus,
My divine manual and life prospectus is the Bible
my ways, a beautiful mirror sparkling like clean Marble
falsehood can’t colour my teeth
Jesus Christ is not a myth
the hope of eternal life, a conviction, not a gamble.
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
christmas, humorous,
Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick
Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick
His red nose was gleaming
Blue eyes they were streaming
I hope that Santa will give him some Vick
24th December 2014
|
Poem Details | by
Keith Trestrail |
Categories:
fun, humorous,
I hope my poems in their entirety
Live on beyond my notoriety.
But I sure don't wanna
Be the guest of honour
Read at the Dead Poet's Society!
February 2016
For the Limerick II - For Fun Contest.
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
body, humorous,
My sister Susie loved picking her nose
To her chagrin her little finger froze
It was stuck so far
Doc used a crowbar
Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose!
Our Mother, in a fit of Pique
At Susie's antics with her Beak
Said, "Right my girl"
And in a whirl
Grounded Susie for a Week
Resenting her fate, in bed
Rebellion sparked inside her head
When all were asleep
She'd dress and creep
Though the window and escape instead
A branch near her window hung
Which to its foliage she clung
The branch was weak
And with a shriek
She fell into a pile of Dung
The house woke up only to find
Poor Susie in a dreadful Bind
She looked quite a mess
In her state of distress
That our Mother went out of her mind
"A School for young Ladies, I'll choose"
One, her wildness, I hope will defuse
And instil, at a pace,
Deportment and Grace
To refine the coarse ways of our Suz'
Packed off to be 'Finished' she went
Determined to never repent
Despite all opinions
It's just like 'St Trinians'
And for Susie, was quite an event
Susie boarded at ‘Saint Eloise’
It was there she got covered in fleas
Once she dived in a ditch
To be rid of that itch
Oh, you should see the state of her knees!
When in the first deportment class
Poor Susie fell straight on her ‘ass’
When she exposed her behind
The other girls were unkind
So Susie began passing gas
They had to open the windows and doors
Crawl about and move on all fours
To get rid of the smell
That came straight from hell
Staff told ‘Susie’ no more encores!
Her Classmates all thought it a Hoot
When she lit the gas that she'd shoot
She then vented a Storm
That Blew up her Dorm
Which got our poor Susie the Boot
She believed she should never have gone
From the ones she depended upon
With her Mission, complete
(And a Cork placed, discreet)
Susie's Home where she'll always belong.
20th January 2016
Collaboration J Allison and R Bettridge
|
Poem Details | by
Katherine Stella |
Categories:
adventure, dedication, fantasy, friendship,
< dancing and twisting the night away
karen O'Leary just had to say
Joseph Spence and DrRam
our convention's quite jammed
hope katherine Stella's table won't sway
Poets At My Table
Myself Katherine Stella
Karen O'Leary
Joseph Spence
DrRam Mehta
Entry For
Michael Falotico's
A Table For 4 Contest
G.LAll
|
Poem Details | by
Jeannie Minor |
Categories:
friendship, how i feel,
I have a new far away friend
I wish could live just round the bend
who's poems I find
so pleasant and kind
there aren't enough flowers to send
With the pen of a poet you write
as a message of hope in our plight
with beauty and grace
a gently left trace
to challenge a deeper insight
I imagine the way you would look
see you happiest writing a book
poetic rhymes
of places and times
and all of life's lessons you took
Our souls have been fed by a fire
and we share in a common desire
to have a true friend
for the ride to the end
of our goals as they raise ever higher
Though all I can see is your name
I still hear your voice just the same
it speaks to me dearly
and calls to me clearly
through poetry destined for fame
I'm blessed for my far away friend
who will never live just round the bend
for I see a smile
with poetic style
in each posted poem you send
In the world of the mountains you climb
thank you for taking the time
to lift up my soul
with renewed sense of whole
from your words that so cleverly rhyme
Thank you my friends.
-Jeannie Minor
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
uplifting,
We all need purpose to get up each day
To combat the negatives, send them away
Most days are good
As we hope they would
But surprises are waiting to our dismay
© Jack Ellison 2016
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
fun, humorous, tribute, ,
Cute black bear has a perfect behind
and her manicured paws are so kind
When she sits on a chair
all the male bears just stare -
her sheer beauty, it just blows their mind!
A friend has given me a little black bear as a replacement for the soft toy we used to have in my husband’s car – I hope she lasts as long as our old ‘guard dog’!
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/farewell_old_friend_888761
05~15~17
|
Poem Details | by
Lin Lane |
Categories:
poetry,
It's with great sadness and a lot of discomfort that I write
about an issue that needs addressing and brought to light
Several poets have long known
about a poet whose cover is blown
and cheats by entering their own contestsThat's not right.
What would you think of a poet entering contests of their making
and then winning high placements with names they are faking
That's stooping pretty low
I really wish it wasn't so
So I hope it comes to an end after this exposure and muckraking
*******************
It's not my intent to stir up trouble with this post, but in all good conscience I feel the need to inform all of you who write for contests that this has been happening for some time This is not an act of bitterness or ill will, but if this poet reads this, know that if it doesn't stop I'll report you to TPS I don't understand why a decent poet would do something like this
|
Poem Details | by
James Marshall Goff |
Categories:
funny
Where have you been! you silly man!
don't blame it all on tryptophan!
Maladies from Malta mutATE and Gur G....itate!
as Jimbo watched the Vikings dominate!
It's true my kind heart is totally fake!
football first sweetheart!...hope your fever breaks!
Dear Charma, you've got snow! make an ice-pack!
it's almost halftime!.....then I'll be back!
And if you grow weary of my attitude!
I'll level a few notches, and be a sweet dude!
The Ref blew his whistle!...#4 is quite grand!
our sinking tag-poem is back on dry land!
So without much ado!
no need for a chorus!
I tag you my friend, Miss Culverhouse! Please Doris!
(Phyllis tagged John, John tagged DaneAnn, DaneAnn tagged Charmaine, Charma tagged me! and I tag Doris!)
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
anxiety, humorous, poetry, words,
Some poems I can’t comprehend
I struggle reading to the end
Flaunting a complex word
Its usage quite absurd
No comments not e’en from a friend!
I love learning new words on soup but get frustrated when I see poems peppered with long words, especially when trying to force rhyming and the words don't make any sense at all in context to the subject!
PLEASE SOUP ME ME YOUR POEM AND I'LL ADD IT TO THE POEM
Those pompous poets totally bore us
With clever words like 'radiciflorous'
But what you should know
Those words they borrow
From the pages of Roget's Thesaurus
WRITTEN BY LIN LANE
Ben gobbled a dictionary whole
and verbal diarrhoea took its toll
Now he's spewing words
flowing like loose turds
I hope he’ll regain vowel control!
WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON - INSPIRED BY LIN'S POEM!
These wordy poems they are making
I find discombobulating
The syllable count
Continues to mount
As their egos are greatly inflating.
WRITTEN BY GARY SMITH
Jake ate the whole encyclopedia
Then it was covered by the news media
An instant wordsmith
But it was a big myth
Now he’s in a state of Acedia
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
There was a poet on here called Fred Flynn
Composed a verse about scabies and gin
Was poem of the day
To everyone's dismay
It should have gone in 'soups' recycle bin.
WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM
A pompous poet always thinks he's right
And stays up making rude comments all night
With rude words that spit and spew
The idiot has no clue
That all of His poems need a rewrite
WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN
I've got a good word but wait let me see
Possibly change two syllables to three
Your big pompous ass
Craps sweet sassafras
Insults disguised as complimentary
WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH
KEEP IT SIMPLE
Using words with hidden meanings
is for those with intellectual leanings
Poems that are complicated
are strictly over-rated
Give me a poem with simple gleanings.
By: Carole O’Terry Duet Copyright: 12/31/2018 “All Rights Reserved”
12/29/18
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Poem Details | by
Mick Talbot |
Categories:
birthday,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and now for the lady herself Jan Allison
a birthday limerick, I hope she thinks fun
I'd give more but you know the score
'It's only words' cant sing throats sore
but birthday wishes oh yes a big 1
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAN
My thanks to Tom Cunningham for the heads up, cheers Mick :-)
|
Poem Details | by
Curtis Moorman |
Categories:
angel, beauty, friendship, joy,
THE JOY OF FRIENDSHIP
A sweet young lady on Soup
Will not let your spirit droop
She's thoughtful and nice
And gives great advice
So I keep her in the loop
She monitors what I write
To make sure I get it right
Angel in disguise
One who is so wise
With a beauty oh so bright
We never have met before
I cherish her all the more
And maybe one day
I hope I can say
This angel came through my door
If that never comes to pass
Our friendship will always last
Though she must remain
An unannounced name
Her friendship is unsurpassed
2 September 2018
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
encouraging, friendship, poets, tribute,
A fabulous poet named Tom
He writes with such style and aplomb
He deserves some soup glory
as he tells a great story
His poems are really ‘da bomb’!
Posted with kind permission from Tom
I adore his poetry and hope you will take time to give him a read and commentHe writes the most wonderful historical stories and also has a great sense of humour as shown in these two examples
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/an_gorta_mor,_the_irish_famine_1845_1852_963334
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/the_great_cheddar_cheese_robbery_982860
01/18/18
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
crazy,
When all's said and done, there's more to be done and said
Like how's our dear Mary, hope her fungus hasn't spread
And what about poor Thelma
With her deviated antenna
And poor Nikita, fresh radishes growing on her head
|
Poem Details | by
Poet Destroyer A |
Categories:
abuse, adventure,
DON'T TURN YOUR BACK~
There was a man who ran over a toad.
The puppy, is on the side of the road.
How hypocritical can one be?
The puppy was easy to see.
Tonight I hope he inhales another heavy load.
***
ALWAYS BE POLITE~
There once was a man who made his bed.
Ate breakfast at noon, with his buddy Ned.
Lost his job,
for being a snob.
Now,he can't afford his meds.
***
THE WHITE FLAG
twinkle the little star, had none.
in his mouth he had a gun.
baby drool all over the floor.
he can't stand it no more.
pulled the trigger for fun.
***
STOP SIGN
Stepping away from the line.
The officer asked if he was fine.
one was not enough to drink.
now something really stinks.
Don't ever fall asleep at the STOP SIGN.
by;PD
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Poem Details | by
mike dailey |
Categories:
childhood, fear,
Clowns
There once was a real scary clown
Wore neither a smile nor a frown
Just a scowl and a stare
Guaranteed kids he’s scare
Without even making a sound
I was scared of all clowns as a kid
When I saw them I went and hid
The red hair and red nose
And the baggy old clothes
And the terrifying things that they did
A pie in the face or a squirt
Slapstick that looked like it hurt
Be they grinning like mad
Or painted quite sad
My eyes I would have to avert
I hope that you don’t think me daff
But when I hear a way too loud laugh
I quick look around
To make sure there’s no clown
I’m not scared to death, just to half
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
life,
Don't know if you've noticed but life is like a baseball game
You start out as a rookie, then get through the middle frames
You start to notice the signs
It's the bottom of the ninth
Seems like a quick game but hope for extra innings remains
|
Poem Details | by
Debbie Duncan |
Categories:
I hope you have angels
watching over you
Because, the way
you live your life is'
A CRIME !
7/7/2013 12noon
|
Poem Details | by
Shane Cooper |
Categories:
friendship, heartbreak,
I once knew a girl who lived far away,
Who told me a fairy tale one sunny day,
We would be friends for evermore,
I would never be shown the door,
I called her my friend but she wouldn’t stay,
The story is over the finish less than gay,
The fact is my life has been put in disarray,
Best friends an oath she swore,
But that doesn’t count anymore,
The pain I feel will end soon I hope and pray,
|
Poem Details | by
Stephanie Weeks |
Categories:
funny,
I believe in God.
I'm glad that I'm not bald.
A dollar's a hundred cents,
This poem makes no sense.
I hope you're not appalled.
I love the zoo.
Where's Timbuktu?
Billy's my name.
Wanna play a game?
A baby is brand new.
I have a phone.
Granny's not at home.
Can you build a bomb?
You're talking all wrong.
I'm glad that I'm not grown.
Your hair is so soft.
My bed is in a loft.
My bear's name is Ted.
I sleep in a bed.
Say hi to Microsoft.
|
Poem Details | by
Duke Beaufort |
Categories:
anniversary, appreciation, art, beauty,
Author's Note: If you have never seen the advertising contributions of John Cameron Swayze, take a moment to watch a few of his videos Then, enjoy this limerick (which in combination with the videos) provides some interesting inspiration for the new year
We suggest a vagina's for sex
And hope the possessor expects
To take a licking
And keep on ticking
Over and over like a Timex
|
Poem Details | by
Richard D Seal |
Categories:
sports,
Birdie Trouble
So you think you’re going to hole me
Teed off well and on the green rolled me
Looked like hole in one
Then all hope was gone
When old albatross swooped and stole me
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
humorous,
Have you tried suppressing a big fart -
Clenching your buttocks is a fine art
You hope your windy gas
Doesn’t shoot out your ass
and from the room you quickly depart
7th March 2015
Inspired by BL Devnath’s Please don’t laugh poem
|
Poem Details | by
James Fraser |
Categories:
funny,
Finally my life's now unstuck
A blind date, stroke of luck
For tomorrow I'll greet
She stays just down the street
The courage I'll just have to pluck
It's the morning of my blind date
In a way I just can't wait
Into town I shall go
And go with life's flow
Lets hope it all turns out great
The evening starts out real well
Her shapes make my eyes surely tell
She's so buxom and pert
Makes this man so alert
More than my heart starts to swell
On the couch I move in for a kiss
Full hands I'm so much in bliss
My luck turns to yuck
Her teeth out, now she sucks
A blind date I would never have wished
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-7.php
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
humorous,
Jim flicked off the bedroom wall LIGHT
With HOPE of a wild sex filled night
But the tone of his wife
Made him fear for his life
Guess she’s keeping her legs shut tight
L & H Contest – Sponsor Catie Lindsey
05~21~15
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Poem Details | by
faleshia murphy |
Categories:
funnyhalloween, halloween,
For Halloween I want to be a wicked witch
With nothing but evil sewed in every stitch
Give the kids lots of candy how awesome
Then I'll scare the pants right off them
And just hope I don't wake up in a ditch
FOR HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST
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Poem Details | by
Jaycee Cervenka |
Categories:
celebration, easter, family, fun,
The Easter egg hunt was a blast,
With everyone running quite fast
Confetti in our hair
Not to mention underwear
Let's hope that dye isn't cast.
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Poem Details | by
Veronica Capo |
Categories:
conflict, friendship, fun, hilarious,
It is a wonder what the mind can come up with....
Me and my friend Mary from school,
sat at the table with all of our tools.
These boys walked up and started to chat,
and me and Mary learned about their bats..
And how playing with their baseballs was cool.
They talked of twigs and berries,
of innocent secrets they carried,
about experiences in sport camp.
And in the light of a lamp,
i giggled to myself and Mary.
They had no idea what was done,
how much they provided for puns,
Mary and I were dying,
stories of spelunking and mining,
and how their pet snake weighed a ton.
I couldn't hold myself back for much more,
trapped words inside made me sore,
so i opened my mouth,
and prepared to shout out..
And THEN I opened THAT innapropriate door
Thought up on 6/17/2015 for a contest on this website, hope you enjoy!
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Poem Details | by
James Fraser |
Categories:
funny
There once was this lady I was desiring
Upon meeting she became so damn tiring
She kept me up all night
And fatigued I took fright
I hope that it was blanks I was firing
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Poem Details | by
Jessica K |
Categories:
boyfriend, dark, future, growing
Dear little eight year old me
Who's seen the impact of cruelty
Know through the years
There'll be more tears
And hope will feel like a fantasy
The world you know grows dark
The faith you trust will part
Your heart will break
From others mistakes
And familiar anguish will scar
The past will be an open tale
Your darkest secrets soon unveiled
And those naïve
Will choose to leave
But even in this love prevailed
For sweetheart let me tell you this
In the middle of chaos you'll find your prince.
His words will assure
His cuddles secure
And change your world with a kiss
Initially cautious of intent
Believing only to be pretend
As months pass by
You instead will find
Every declaration he made, he meant
In time your heart will soften
In his presence pain is forgotten
The half to your whole
The mate for your soul
Forever together, I'm confident
He'll show you an alternative life
One only the heavens could contrive
Visions will carry
Of being married
Becoming one day his wife
So darling be forewarned
Of the coming trials and storms
But through the gray
There'll be a day
When a love between two is born
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Poem Details | by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories:
happiness, hope, husband, lovelonely,
There once was a poet extraordinaire,
Who composed sweet poetry with great care
She wanted to find true love.
So, she prayed to God above.
He swiftly answered, “Sweetheart, you must forbear.”
Forbearance was her lonely heart’s nightmare.
She was a passionate woman with flare.
Singing in a high octave.
Counting petals of foxglove.
She drank martinis alone in her lair.
A brilliant mind with hope and a prayer,
Resting her head on a lonely armchair.
Praising spirits up above,
She heard Ron’s voice, cute white dove.
Alas, she found him…marriage…love so fair.
(Linda-Marie, I used your profile picture for inspiration for this contest entry.)
© March 31, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen
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Poem Details | by
KP Nunez |
Categories:
funny, humorous,
There's jolly old fellow named Jack
Nightly he comes, sack on his back
He did hide it from us
Now it's out it's because
He laughed so hard that CPAP did crack!
Hey Jack, sorry I'm always late for the party, it's tax season, got pretty busy, but couldn't resist being silly, cause it's what you fancy! The above is the lim, the promised one from KIMFrom the land of thousand isles, hope you get all the smiles!
11 March 2015
10:00 AM
Philippine Time
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Poem Details | by
michelle prital |
Categories:
inspirational, music, song-me, light,
I have a peaceful easy feeling
As I sit and write this poem
Comprising 5 old songs
Which remind me of my home
They show me the importance
They teach me with such grace
To get up every morning
With a smile on your face
My youth was filled with ballads
Verses I could trust
And we all know what memories bring...
They bring dia-monds and rust
Songs taught me that my friends were
The wind beneath my wings
To treasure and embrace them
To value what life brings
There's a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
For me, 'bout sums it up
The hope one feels within
Sometimes a simple sound
Or smell can be so strong
It carries me back light years
To one specific song
And in that song I bask
I know what each line means
Transcended to the past
Dressed in my tie-dyed jeans.
Eagles – Peaceful Easy Feeling
Carol King - Beautiful
Joan Baez - Diamonds and Rust
Bette Midler - Wind Beneath My Wings
Leonard Cohen - Anthemn
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Poem Details | by
Owen Yeates |
Categories:
political,
I hear that Mit Romney is running
For Obama I hear he is gunning
Will Obama Succeed?
Will he get the votes he will need?
Or will the American voters be cunning
Will they give Mitt Romeny a Chance?
To go to the inaugural dance
Or bring back Obama
To ride on a llama
Or will both be left in a trance
Well I hope when the votes are all in
You get the one you want to win
But bear this in mind
I’m not being unkind
It will just be the same old again
I only wrote this because we had an election and change of government and that was all that changedGood Luck America.
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Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
animals, funny
Butti the tortoise from the zoo has flown the coop
Your brother Tutti misses you, you little poop
On you there is a large bounty
If found in El Paso County
Hope you don't end up as a bowl of turtle soup
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
This is based on a true story Butti came up missing at the Colorado Springs
Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, 27 Mar 2011 He and his brother, Tutti, are Indian
Star tortoises Suspicions are that some miscreant pocketed him and strolled
away since he was about the size of a grapefruit and weighed about a
pound Coincidentally, a river otter named Kitchi, escaped from the same zoo
a few months ago and has never been found If interested you can read the
saga of Kitchi in my poem of the same name Will keep you posted!!
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Poem Details | by
Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories:
funny, sportsme, time,
Why is it you never show me your face?
My feelings are hurt, so you I’ll replace!
Find another on which to pounce
Each time your team takes a bad bounce
The damage you’ve done cannot be erased
Even my fine leather is marred with grooves
From all your fanatic football fan moves
Get off your duff, I must rebuff
You’ve made my lining far too rough
Each time you move, I hope the team will lose
I have already called a moving van
To transport me to a gentler land
Where people of grace sip green tea
Pontificating times that be
By dawn in my place you’ll find the trash can
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Poem Details | by
jide badmus |
Categories:
hope, inspirational, philosophy,
light a candle
let it glow with hope
let its thin film of smoke
disperse the dark clouds
let it drizzle and frizzle out your stress,
let it wash off the stench of sweat
let your pregnant hope
deliver twins and triplets;
multiple tales of success
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Poem Details | by
faleshia murphy |
Categories:
funny
My little one is going to school
The joy on his face and mine is so cool
His first day is monday
I hope he will be okay
While I'm at home acting a fool
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Poem Details | by
john freeman |
Categories:
funny
~Never I ever get the blues
~Wearing my favorite striped shoes
~~~I love my Reeboks
~~~With high top tube socks
~This pair I hope never to lose
In honor of SKAT and Contest
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Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
humorous,
She’s eighty-nine years of age
So wise she’s quite a sage
As long as she’s sane
Long may she reign
I do hope she draws a good wage
She married Prince Phillip who’s Greek
His gaffes sometimes make him a geek
When he opens his mouth
His brains they go south
The Queen cringes when he starts to speak
They live in London in a palace so grand
The finest royal residence in the land
Waited on hand and foot
I guess they will stay put
Crowds are entertained by a marching band
Prince Charles is King in waiting
His mother’s reign he is berating
Banana skins on the floor
Superglue on the door
Some hope he will never be King
He married Camilla Parker Bowles
She loves to drive off in the ‘Rolls’
Before he was married to Di
Camilla had caught his eye
And now his heart she controls
Contest: Long Live The Queen
Sponsor: Judy Konos
05~09~15
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Poem Details | by
Viv Wigley |
Categories:
humor,
Doing chores in the buff on my mind
apron strings dangling down my behind
I hope he keeps mum
about seeing my bum
'coz my window cleaner's just resigned!
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Poem Details | by
Ashley Last |
Categories:
hope, school, stress, write,
Pen flies when out of sight,
Boy, I hope that I'm right.
No award for me,
What a shame that'd be,
At least I gave it all my might.
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