Limerick Poems About Hope | Hope Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: appreciation, giving, humorous, poetry,

A GIFT OF A LIFETIME - TO END ON SATURDAY MARCH 20TH 2077

I’ve received an incredible gift It has given my heart such a lift But the date that I see Is what now concerns me – It’s the date I no longer exist!!! Today I was gifted a 'lifetime' premium membership but it is somewhat disconcerting to see it ends on 3/20/2077I hope TPS aren't psychic!!!! My mother's great great aunt lived to 111 and 121 days and was in the Guinness book of records - I hope I am around a long long time to make full use of this incredible gift. 14th October 2016


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

HEAVENLY BODY - LIMERICK COLLABORATION - BAWDY

A nubile young vicar named Jude Was seen swimming, totally nude The bishop said WOW Just look at you now Your assets - they need to be viewed! Fiction write! 07-05-17 Invited him home for a drink A toast as their glasses did clink Robes down on the floor Performing a chore... How far will this story now sink. WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH The vicar bent over to pray The bishop could not look away So for his protection Took up a collection A robe now conceals his display WRITTEN BY CHRIS GREEN I think this story about being nude will sink low I will tell on those guys, all I know Those two men are not holy The bishop's roly-poly And the vicar used to be in a nude girly show WRITTEN BY LIN LANE The bishop was feeling romantic The vicar thought the man pedantic When the vicar turned around To give the bishop a frown The bishop gasped, "Lord, you're gigantic!" WRITTEN DALE GREGORY COZART Said Jude, will we both go to hell- Said bishop, you never can tell But please will you turn I've got carpet burn And my knees are beginning to swell WRITTEN BY GARY SMITH As the bishop continued to stare He thought such a body's not fair To see the nude vicar was hard on his ticker and soon he had to change underwear WRITTEN BY ROGER ADAMS Mother Teresa told me so In the heaven we’ll dance too slow If you want to come Bring us some Rum Otherwise you may stop and go WRITTEN BY PASHANG SALEHI btw..What would the Pontiff say? Would there be hell to pay? Or would the Pope just drop the soap and hope he'd be invited to play WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS When suddenly a knock at the door they decided they'd rather ignore in walked the pope, joined in the group grope next day they were all saddle sore WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER The pope thought it not at all freakly when asking the other men meekly that if they were game and would do the same they could set up appointments weekly WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Jude's assets developed so well As the bishop could obviously tell But you might be surprised How it grew to that size Well, he used it to ring the church bell WRITTEN BY RAY GRIDLEY 07-06-17


Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: birth, body, humorous,

FLOOD WARNING COLLABORATION - INSPIRED BY CONTEST

I crossed my legs but there was a flood Blushing red I hope folks understood But my waters had burst And the baby's my first Guess I'm ready to start motherhood! NOT FOR CONTEST WRITTEN on 27TH August 2016 BY JAN ALLISON My babe arrived as hungry as a horse As a good mother, I fed him, of course When my breasts began to fill Another flood was about to spill Until my child suckled with great force. WRITTEN ON 08/27/16 BY LIN LANE The first twelve months went mighty quick Time flying by lickity split Crawls out of bed Sits on mom's head A young fireman squirting his stick WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY TIM SMITH Hay, thought I heard another sound of thunder roar Eeh gad, seems to be another two babies more They all have lots of hair Mother-in-law beware Now I am having triplets let me out the door WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY EVE T M C He was born without a suntan And didn’t favor the milk man Birthed on a polar bear rug Full beard on his tiny mug Holding a harpoon like Tarzan! WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER 8/27/2016 Oh my! What will people think? My baby doesn’t favor his dad’s wink I can always claim in shame He favors my grandma’s frame On my mother’s side is large and pink WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER 8/27/2016 One baby after another I sure am a busy mother I cross my knees Whenever I sneeze Out one end or the other! WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE It’s all my darn uterus’s fault, Can’t bring my crying to a halt, No more sex with my hubby, I’m just too tired and chubby, This babe’s an exhausting result! Ice came out sucking a pacifier, Posted sign, “Eskimo nanny for hire!”, But when warm milk is felt, Baby started to melt, Naughty nanny immediately fired! The ice came out with a binky, And a diaper pretty stinky! Eskimo baby is she, Could it even be a he? It’s too frozen and all wrinkly! ALL WRITTEN BY LAURA LOO One by one they came out, midwife slapped 'em and into the cradle she packed 'em father blew candle out and exclaimed with a shout " Just like moths, it's the light that attracts 'em!" WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY Making babies was so much fun Now my boobies reach to my tum I can't even sneeze or cough It set's my weak bladder off.. I'd better stick to coke and rum WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS AWARDED POEM OF THE WEEK ON 28TH AUGUST - THE HONOUR IS SHARED BY US ALL.SPECIAL THANKS TO LIN LANE FOR STARTING THE COLLABORATION I'm feeling like a slot machine My wheels stopped on three tangerines Babies falling like rain It's no longer a strain That last one looks just like my spleen WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER I thought I was going to have two But now I don't even have a clue It feels like maybe four I can't take it no more I have five months to go til I'm due WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y I was rushed to the hospital gate not yet due, but I just couldn't wait labor's water broke through elevator broke too flooded stairwells to room did create! WRITTEN BY SANDRA HAIGHT


Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: storm,

Thar Blows Maria: Collaboration with New Additions

Too many hurricanes are causing havoc this season We might as well have a limerick collaboration about them since they seem to be in the news Please join in by sending me your limerick in a soup mail or email.


Hurricane Maria is the latest ole windbag
She'll huff and puff till her eye walls sag
She's blowin' in the tropics
Catastrophic among topics
Heed the warning of that hoisted red flag
                                     by: Lin Lane


I’ve heard Maria’s cooking up a storm
Pack your bags and head where it’s warm
She’ll cause such destruction
Which will lead to disruption
These old wind bags, they never conform!

These hurricanes really don’t care
Tossing houses right into the air
They’re a bane in our life
Like an old nagging wife
It's no wonder that folks cus and swear!
                                   by: Jan Allison


Oh Maria I hope you just fizzle out 
You're so full of wind with a nagging spout
Hurry and disappear
Blow on out of here
We're tired of that same old raspy shout
                                   by: Tim Smith


Oh Maria, we have had enough
We don't want to see you puff
We don't want to stress
Or clean up your mess!
Just weaken, and stop acting tough!
                                  by: Heidi Sands


Oh bad Maria, you have gotten so volatile
Blow yourself out and make people smile
Or maybe there's a chance
Another name you'll enhance
Hurricane Madness sounds very erstwhile
                                 by: Seren Roberts


Cinder's sits on the toilet in fear
Of the ugly sisters to appear
Irma arrives there first
Maria next to burst
gave cinder's chronic diarrhea
                               by: Roy Pett


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: conflict, humorous, political, world,

ROCKET MAN - NOW A COLLABORATION

Ron Dump says he’ll destroy North Korea With finger poised, we have so much to fear He’s a power mad glutton With his hand on the button Will the universe still exist next year? BY JAN ALLISON I just hope his finger gets stuck Where his bum cheeks do tuck I don't live in fear Long as they're up there oh Don why are you such a schmuck BY TIM SMITH He couldn't have made it clearer His objections to North Korea Did his blow up doll fail At the point of his exhale Revenge is a good butt cleaner BY SEREN ROBERTS Ron's trigger finger is too quick to attack Mouth gets him in trouble for talking smack A rocket up his butt Another to his gut Should put an end to Ron Dump, the quack BY LIN LANE In the genre of equal time May I present my 2 cents and a dime Rocket Man's been coddled By Barack Obama's Bobble Now Trump is gonna get him back in line!!! BY CHUCK MELUGIN To the moon ‘North Korea’ the Rocket Man says I can press this button because I’m the Pres But his hands are much too small Can he do it at all? A comedic tragedy like Lucy and Desi Arnaz. BY WINGED WARRIOR Supreme dictator mad Kim Jong un shows off his massive hydrogen gun Donald trump wants to play time for us all to pray Irreversible act when they're done. BY ROY PETTS PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME YOUR POEM IF YOU WANT IT TO BE ADDED 09-19-17


Poem Details | by JEAN MURRAY |
Categories: basketball, beauty, friendship,

RUB A DUB DUB

JEANIEMAC
Rub a dub dub two in a tub.
Where did the soap go?
He lay back flat
Right on his back.
While she fiddled about below.

TIM SMITH
Rub a dub dub I fell in the tub.
I swear to you Lassie it's not always a stub.
The water is cold.
I'm getting old.
Come a little closer and give it a rub.

LIM'RIK FLATS
Jeanie and Timmy alone in the tub.
Sounds like a poem which might need a scrub.
I cannot say s*x.
Not sure about pecs.
H**l, the censors might just overdub

ARTHUR VASO
Rub a dub dub, there's three in a tub.
Sure hope one doesn't give it a rub.
The lassie is fine.
She has two to shine.
Rub a dub dub, what a great scrub!


Poem Details | by Funom Makama |
Categories: christian, god, gospel, jesus,

I am Christian

My divine manual and life prospectus is the Bible
my ways, a beautiful mirror sparkling like clean Marble
falsehood can’t colour my teeth
Jesus Christ is not a myth
the hope of eternal life, a conviction, not a gamble.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

YOU MUST LOOK AFTER YOUR ELF

Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick His red nose was gleaming Blue eyes they were streaming I hope that Santa will give him some Vick 24th December 2014


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: fun, humorous,

No Hurry

I hope my poems in their entirety
Live on beyond my notoriety.
  But I sure don't wanna
  Be the guest of honour
Read at the Dead Poet's Society!


            February 2016

 For the Limerick II - For Fun Contest.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

YEUK UPDATED - COLLABORATION WITH ROB BETTRIDGE

My sister Susie loved picking her nose To her chagrin her little finger froze It was stuck so far Doc used a crowbar Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose! Our Mother, in a fit of Pique At Susie's antics with her Beak Said, "Right my girl" And in a whirl Grounded Susie for a Week Resenting her fate, in bed Rebellion sparked inside her head When all were asleep She'd dress and creep Though the window and escape instead A branch near her window hung Which to its foliage she clung The branch was weak And with a shriek She fell into a pile of Dung The house woke up only to find Poor Susie in a dreadful Bind She looked quite a mess In her state of distress That our Mother went out of her mind "A School for young Ladies, I'll choose" One, her wildness, I hope will defuse And instil, at a pace, Deportment and Grace To refine the coarse ways of our Suz' Packed off to be 'Finished' she went Determined to never repent Despite all opinions It's just like 'St Trinians' And for Susie, was quite an event Susie boarded at ‘Saint Eloise’ It was there she got covered in fleas Once she dived in a ditch To be rid of that itch Oh, you should see the state of her knees! When in the first deportment class Poor Susie fell straight on her ‘ass’ When she exposed her behind The other girls were unkind So Susie began passing gas They had to open the windows and doors Crawl about and move on all fours To get rid of the smell That came straight from hell Staff told ‘Susie’ no more encores! Her Classmates all thought it a Hoot When she lit the gas that she'd shoot She then vented a Storm That Blew up her Dorm Which got our poor Susie the Boot She believed she should never have gone From the ones she depended upon With her Mission, complete (And a Cork placed, discreet) Susie's Home where she'll always belong. 20th January 2016 Collaboration J Allison and R Bettridge


Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, dedication, fantasy, friendship,

Poets Night Out

<                                  dancing and twisting the night away
                                    karen O'Leary just had to say
                                    Joseph Spence and DrRam
                                    our convention's quite jammed
                                    hope katherine Stella's table won't sway 








Poets At My Table
 
Myself   Katherine Stella 
Karen O'Leary
Joseph Spence
DrRam Mehta
 



Entry For 
Michael Falotico's
A Table For 4 Contest  
G.LAll


Poem Details | by Jeannie Minor |
Categories: friendship, how i feel,

Far Away Friends

I have a new far away friend
I wish could live just round the bend
who's poems I find
so pleasant and kind 
there aren't enough flowers to send

With the pen of a poet you write
as a message of hope in our plight 
with beauty and grace 
a gently left trace
to challenge a deeper insight 

I imagine the way you would look
see you happiest writing a book 
poetic rhymes 
of places and times
and all of life's lessons you took

Our souls have been fed by a fire 
and we share in a common desire
to have a true friend
for the ride to the end
of our goals as they raise ever higher

Though all I can see is your name
I still hear your voice just the same 
it speaks to me dearly 
and calls to me clearly 
through poetry destined for fame

I'm blessed for my far away friend
who will never live just round the bend
for I see a smile 
with poetic style
in each posted poem you send

In the world of the mountains you climb
thank you for taking the time
to lift up my soul
with renewed sense of whole
from your words that so cleverly rhyme

Thank you my friends.

                       -Jeannie Minor


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: uplifting,

Surprises Are Waiting



We all need purpose to get up each day To combat the negatives, send them away Most days are good As we hope they would But surprises are waiting to our dismay © Jack Ellison 2016


Poem Details | by James Marshall Goff |
Categories: funny

Holiday Tag! Doris you're it!

Where have you been! you silly man!
don't blame it all on tryptophan! 

Maladies from Malta mutATE and Gur G....itate!
as Jimbo watched the Vikings dominate!

It's true my kind heart is totally fake!
football first sweetheart!...hope your fever breaks!

Dear Charma, you've got snow! make an ice-pack!
it's almost halftime!.....then I'll be back!

And if you grow weary of my  attitude!
I'll level a few notches, and be a sweet dude!

The Ref blew his whistle!...#4 is quite grand!
our sinking tag-poem is back on dry land! 

So without much ado!
no need for a chorus!

I tag you my friend, Miss Culverhouse! Please Doris!

(Phyllis tagged John, John tagged DaneAnn, DaneAnn tagged Charmaine, Charma tagged me! and I tag Doris!)


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: fun, humorous, tribute,

CUTE BLACK BEAR

Cute black bear has a perfect behind and her manicured paws are so kind When she sits on a chair all the male bears just stare - her sheer beauty, it just blows their mind! A friend has given me a little black bear as a replacement for the soft toy we used to have in my husband’s car – I hope she lasts as long as our old ‘guard dog’! https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/farewell_old_friend_888761 05~15~17


Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: poetry,

Poet - Your Cover is Blown

It's with great sadness and a lot of discomfort that I write
about an issue that needs addressing and brought to light
Several poets have long known
about a poet whose cover is blown
and cheats by entering their own contestsThat's not right.


What would you think of a poet entering contests of their making
and then winning high placements with names they are faking
That's stooping pretty low
I really wish it wasn't so
So I hope it comes to an end after this exposure and muckraking

                               *******************
It's not my intent to stir up trouble with this post, but in all good conscience I feel the need to inform all of you who write for contests that this has been happening for some time This is not an act of bitterness or ill will, but if this poet reads this, know that if it doesn't stop I'll report you to TPS I don't understand why a decent poet would do something like this


Poem Details | by Joseph May |
Categories: fun, people,

Feeling Worried - Collaboration

 Britain's Prime Minister, with charm and appeal
   Visited Trump to work out a deal
 But in a gesture unplanned
   Trump held her hand
 She was worried he'd steal a feel!

 I hear Teresa May had planned
   To hold President Trump's right hand
 Despite his best hope 
   Don Trump couldn't grope
 The moron he ought to be banned
              -Jan Allison-

 The Donald gave Teresa a squeeze
   To herself she thought what a sleaze
     But he was surprised
    When between her thighs
  He found balls as big as his knees
             -Daniel Turner-

   On her rump he placed his right hand
 Swore as they listened to the band
    A night in the sack
  I'll give Boston back
  And pay all the taxes as planned
               -Tim Smith-
 
 The Donald was conceited and thought he was all that
   He put some moves on Teresa and it was so whack
        Now his ego is not inflated
          He's not so longer elated
   Now his ego is in intacta has been mack
                       -Alexis Y.-
 
 
                    

 
            
  


Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: abuse, adventure,

STOP SIGN-

DON'T TURN YOUR BACK~

There was a man who ran over a toad.
The puppy, is on the side of the road.
How hypocritical can one be?
The puppy was easy to see.
Tonight I hope he inhales another heavy load.
***

ALWAYS BE POLITE~

There once was a man who made his bed.
Ate breakfast at noon, with his buddy Ned.
Lost his job, 
for being a snob.
Now,he can't afford his meds.
***

THE WHITE FLAG

twinkle the little star, had none.
in his mouth he had a gun.
baby drool all over the floor.
he can't stand it no more.
pulled the trigger for fun.
***

STOP SIGN

Stepping away from the line.
The officer asked if he was fine.
one was not enough to drink.
now something really stinks.
Don't ever fall asleep at the STOP SIGN.

by;PD


Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: childhood, fear,

Clowns

Clowns
There once was a real scary clown
Wore neither a smile nor a frown
Just a scowl and a stare
Guaranteed kids he’s scare
Without even making a sound

I was scared of all clowns as a kid
When I saw them I went and hid
The red hair and red nose
And the baggy old clothes
And the terrifying things that they did

A pie in the face or a squirt
Slapstick that looked like it hurt
Be they grinning like mad
Or painted quite sad
My eyes I would have to avert

I hope that you don’t think me daff
But when I hear a way too loud laugh
I quick look around
To make sure there’s no clown
I’m not scared to death, just to half


Poem Details | by Debbie Duncan |
Categories:

Living Life

I hope you have angels  
watching over you
Because, the way 
you live your life is'
A  CRIME !  




7/7/2013   12noon


Poem Details | by Shane Cooper |
Categories: friendship, heartbreak,

BLOCKED

I once knew a girl who lived far away,
Who told me a fairy tale one sunny day,
We would be friends for evermore,
I would never be shown the door, 
I called her my friend but she wouldn’t stay,

The story is over the finish less than gay,
The fact is my life has been put in disarray,
Best friends an oath she swore,
But that doesn’t count anymore,
The pain I feel will end soon I hope and pray, 


Poem Details | by Stephanie Weeks |
Categories: funny,

Makes No Sense

I believe in God.
I'm glad that I'm not bald.
A dollar's a hundred cents,
This poem makes no sense.
I hope you're not appalled.
I love the zoo.
Where's Timbuktu?
Billy's my name.
Wanna play a game?
A baby is brand new.
I have a phone.
Granny's not at home.
Can you build a bomb?
You're talking all wrong.
I'm glad that I'm not grown.
Your hair is so soft.
My bed is in a loft.
My bear's name is Ted.
I sleep in a bed.
Say hi to Microsoft.


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: anniversary, appreciation, art, beauty,

New Year's Resolution inspired by John Cameron Swayze

Author's Note:  If you have never seen the advertising contributions of John Cameron Swayze, take a moment to watch a few of his videos Then, enjoy this limerick (which in combination with the videos) provides some interesting inspiration for the new year 

We suggest a vagina's for sex
And hope the possessor expects
To take a licking
And keep on ticking
Over and over like a Timex 


Poem Details | by Richard D Seal |
Categories: sports,

Birdie Trouble

Birdie Trouble

So you think you’re going to hole me
Teed off well and on the green rolled me
Looked like hole in one
Then all hope was gone
When old albatross swooped and stole me 


Poem Details | by faleshia murphy |
Categories: funnyhalloween, halloween,

This Halloween

For Halloween I want to be a wicked witch
With nothing but evil sewed in every stitch
Give the kids lots of candy how awesome
Then I'll scare the pants right off them
And just hope I don't wake up in a ditch


FOR HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny

Early Morning Warning

There once was this lady I was desiring
Upon meeting she became so damn tiring
She kept me up all night
And fatigued I took fright
I hope that it was blanks I was firing


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny,

Blind Date

Finally my life's now unstuck
A blind date, stroke of luck
For tomorrow I'll greet
She stays just down the street
The courage I'll just have to pluck

It's the morning of my blind date
In a way I just can't wait
Into town I shall go
And go with life's flow
Lets hope it all turns out great

The evening starts out real well
Her shapes make my eyes surely tell
She's so buxom and pert
Makes this man so alert
More than my heart starts to swell

On the couch I move in for a kiss
Full hands I'm so much in bliss
My luck turns to yuck
Her teeth out, now she sucks
A blind date I would never have wished








http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-7.php


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

BLOWING IN THE WIND - INSPIRED BY A BL DEVNATH POEM

Have you tried suppressing a big fart - Clenching your buttocks is a fine art You hope your windy gas Doesn’t shoot out your ass and from the room you quickly depart 7th March 2015 Inspired by BL Devnath’s Please don’t laugh poem


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

LIGHT AND HOPE LIMERICK

Jim flicked off the bedroom wall LIGHT With HOPE of a wild sex filled night But the tone of his wife Made him fear for his life Guess she’s keeping her legs shut tight L & H Contest – Sponsor Catie Lindsey 05~21~15


Poem Details | by Jessica K |
Categories: boyfriend, dark, future, growing

Looking Forward

Dear little eight year old me
Who's seen the impact of cruelty
Know through the years
There'll be more tears
And hope will feel like a fantasy

The world you know grows dark
The faith you trust will part
Your heart will break
From others mistakes
And familiar anguish will scar

The past will be an open tale
Your darkest secrets soon unveiled
And those naïve
Will choose to leave
But even in this love prevailed

For sweetheart let me tell you this
In the middle of chaos you'll find your prince.
His words will assure
His cuddles secure
And change your world with a kiss
 
Initially cautious of intent
Believing only to be pretend
As months pass by
You instead will find
Every declaration he made, he meant

In time your heart will soften
In his presence pain is forgotten 
The half to your whole
The mate for your soul
Forever together, I'm confident

He'll show you an alternative life
One only the heavens could contrive
Visions will carry
Of being married
Becoming one day his wife

So darling be forewarned 
Of the coming trials and storms
But through the gray 
There'll be a day
When a love between two is born


Poem Details | by Jaycee Cervenka |
Categories: celebration, easter, family, fun,

Egg Hunt

The Easter egg hunt was a blast,
With everyone running quite fast
Confetti in our hair
Not to mention underwear
Let's hope that dye isn't cast.


Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: happiness, hope, husband, lovelonely,

A Happily Ever After Marriage

There once was a poet extraordinaire,
Who composed sweet poetry with great care
She wanted to find true love.
So, she prayed to God above.
He swiftly answered, “Sweetheart, you must forbear.”

Forbearance was her lonely heart’s nightmare.
She was a passionate woman with flare.
Singing in a high octave.
Counting petals of foxglove.
She drank martinis alone in her lair.

A brilliant mind with hope and a prayer,
Resting her head on a lonely armchair.
Praising spirits up above,
She heard Ron’s voice, cute white dove.
Alas, she found him…marriage…love so fair.

(Linda-Marie, I used your profile picture for inspiration for this contest entry.)

© March 31, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen


Poem Details | by Owen Yeates |
Categories: political,

American Voters

I hear that Mit Romney is running
For Obama I hear he is gunning
Will Obama Succeed?
Will he get the votes he will need?
Or will the American voters be cunning

Will they give Mitt Romeny a Chance?
To go to the inaugural dance
Or bring back Obama 
To ride on a llama
Or will both be left in a trance

Well I hope when the votes are all in
You get the one you want to win
But bear this in mind
I’m not being unkind
It will just be the same old again



I only wrote this because we had an election and change of government and that was all that changedGood Luck America.


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, sportsme, time,

From the Underside (Chair Speak Limericks)

Why is it you never show me your face?
My feelings are hurt, so you I’ll replace!
     Find another on which to pounce
     Each time your team takes a bad bounce
The damage you’ve done cannot be erased

Even my fine leather is marred with grooves
From all your fanatic football fan moves
     Get off your duff, I must rebuff
     You’ve made my lining far too rough
Each time you move, I hope the team will lose

I have already called a moving van
To transport me to a gentler land
     Where people of grace sip green tea
     Pontificating times that be
By dawn in my place you’ll find the trash can


Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: funny, humorous,

WHAT'S IN JACK ELLISON'S SACK

There's jolly old fellow named Jack
Nightly he comes, sack on his back
He did hide it from us
Now it's out it's because
He laughed so hard that CPAP did crack!








Hey Jack, sorry I'm always late for the party, it's tax season, got pretty busy, but couldn't resist being silly, cause it's what you fancy!  The above is the lim, the promised one from KIMFrom the land of thousand isles, hope you get all the smiles!

11 March 2015
10:00 AM
Philippine Time


Poem Details | by Veronica Capo |
Categories: conflict, friendship, fun, hilarious,

Dirty Minds Are Punny

It is a wonder what the mind can come up with....

Me and my friend Mary from school,
sat at the table with all of our tools.
These boys walked up and started to chat,
and me and Mary learned about their bats..
And how playing with their baseballs was cool.

They talked of twigs and berries,
of innocent secrets they carried,
about experiences in sport camp.
And in the light of a lamp,
i giggled to myself and Mary.

They had no idea what was done,
how much they provided for puns,
Mary and I were dying,
stories of spelunking and mining,
and how their pet snake weighed a ton.

I couldn't hold myself back for much more,
trapped words inside made me sore,
so i opened my mouth,
and prepared to shout out..
And THEN I opened THAT innapropriate door



Thought up on 6/17/2015 for a contest on this website, hope you enjoy!


Poem Details | by jide badmus |
Categories: hope, inspirational, philosophy,

light a candle

light a candle
let it glow with hope
let its thin film of smoke 
disperse the dark clouds
let it drizzle and frizzle out your stress, 
let it wash off the stench of sweat
let your pregnant hope 
deliver twins and triplets; 
multiple tales of success  


Poem Details | by michelle prital |
Categories: inspirational, music, song-lyric, me,

The Music In Me

I have a peaceful easy feeling
As I sit and write this poem
Comprising 5 old songs
Which remind me of my home

They show me the importance
They teach me with such grace
To get up every morning 
With a smile on your face


My youth was filled with ballads
Verses I could trust
And we all know what memories bring...
They bring dia-monds and rust

Songs taught me that my friends were
The wind beneath my wings
To treasure and embrace  them
To value what life brings

There's a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
For me, 'bout sums it up
The hope one feels within

Sometimes a simple sound
Or smell can be so strong
It carries me back light years
To one specific song

And in that song I bask
I know  what each line means
Transcended to the past
Dressed in my tie-dyed jeans.




Eagles            – Peaceful Easy Feeling
Carol King    -  Beautiful
Joan Baez      - Diamonds and Rust
Bette Midler  - Wind Beneath My Wings
Leonard Cohen - Anthemn


Poem Details | by Ashley Last |
Categories: hope, school, stress, write,

Tests

Pen flies when out of sight,
Boy, I hope that I'm right.
No award for me,
What a shame that'd be,
At least I gave it all my might.


Poem Details | by faleshia murphy |
Categories: funny

GOING TO SCHOOL

My little one is going to school
The joy on his face and mine is so cool
His first day is monday
I hope he will be okay
While I'm at home acting a fool


Poem Details | by Viv Wigley |
Categories: humor,

Housework naked

Doing chores in the buff on my mind
apron strings dangling down my behind
I hope he keeps mum
about seeing my bum
'coz my window cleaner's just resigned!


Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: funny

Reebok Shoes

  ~Never I ever get the blues
~Wearing my favorite striped shoes
~~~I  love my Reeboks
~~~With high top tube socks
~This pair I hope never to lose

In honor of SKAT and Contest


Poem Details | by Pokey Lanford |
Categories: health, cousin,

Ker-chew

There once was a sneeze named “Ker-chew” His cousin next door was named “Flu” He found "cold" in the hallway, And threw up on the walkway, I do hope he doesn’t find you! ~written for Gwendolyn's challenge~


Poem Details | by Charles Clive |
Categories: farewell, girlfriend,

A Desperate Dilemma

I dingle the dongle with Dan and ningle another with Nan. But what should I do, when courting sweet Sue? I hope to get hitched, if I can. No more do I dingle with Dan, nor nangle a ningle with Nan. So may I meet you and talk it all through, since Sue’s on a jet – to Japan! ~
For Nathan's 'Alliteration' Competition.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN - FOR CONTEST

She’s eighty-nine years of age So wise she’s quite a sage As long as she’s sane Long may she reign I do hope she draws a good wage She married Prince Phillip who’s Greek His gaffes sometimes make him a geek When he opens his mouth His brains they go south The Queen cringes when he starts to speak They live in London in a palace so grand The finest royal residence in the land Waited on hand and foot I guess they will stay put Crowds are entertained by a marching band Prince Charles is King in waiting His mother’s reign he is berating Banana skins on the floor Superglue on the door Some hope he will never be King He married Camilla Parker Bowles She loves to drive off in the ‘Rolls’ Before he was married to Di Camilla had caught his eye And now his heart she controls Contest: Long Live The Queen Sponsor: Judy Konos 05~09~15


Poem Details | by Derrick Shane |
Categories: care, cute love, funny

hey cutie

Your sheer arrogance makes me giggle
Your butt does the cutest wiggle
I really hope you like me
I want to call you baby
Or maybe my little piggle.

:)


Poem Details | by Julee Gnanaratnam |
Categories: life, love, me, day,

Blind Crush

Don't talk to strangers says my 
mother
If I listened we would of never 
met each other
Company was all I was looking 
for
I never intended to want 
nothing more
Your letters always made me 
smile
So I thought I'd write you for 
awhile
I started to get attached a bit
Then somewhere along the way 
a spark lit
It wasn't suppose to be this way
I never wanted to feel this way
But now its too late
It juss maybe fate
I don't know what I did to 
deserve you
But I'm glad I got to know you
You just came into my world
Your presence has made it twirl
You've brought a side of me 
that was hiding
Thought of you have got me 
writing
The feelings that were 
untouched for years
All the lonely nights with my 
tears
You've sparked with your 
soothing words
Now my life is surrounded by 
your words
I find myself smiling throughout 
the day
When people stare I don't know 
what to say
I wait for the day I get to see 
you
How much longer I wish I knew
The amount of time you've 
known someone doesn't matter 
to fall for someone
I don't care how you look or 
what you do
I just hope one day you'll be my 
boo


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: animals, funny

Butti The Tortoise

Butti the tortoise from the zoo has flown the coop

   Your brother Tutti misses you, you little poop

      On you there is a large bounty

         If found in El Paso County

            Hope you don't end up as a bowl of turtle soup

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

This is based on a true story  Butti came up missing at the Colorado Springs
Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, 27 Mar 2011 He and his brother, Tutti, are Indian
Star tortoises   Suspicions are that some miscreant pocketed him and strolled
away since he was about the size of a grapefruit and weighed about a
pound  Coincidentally, a river otter named Kitchi, escaped from the same zoo
a few months ago and has never been found  If interested you can read the
saga of Kitchi in my poem of the same name  Will keep you posted!!


Poem Details | by David Furlong |
Categories: nonsense,

The Sultan of Sunny Bahrain

The Sultan of sunny Bahrain, 
was caught one day in the rain, 
‘So soothing,’ he said, 
as it splashed on his head 
I hope it happens again

The Sultan of sunny Bahrain, 
now wants to stand in the rain,
‘I’m sure it will help, 
to freshen my scalp, 
let’s hope it happens again.’ 

The Sultan of sunny Bahrain, 
still waits to stand in the rain, 
‘I cannot be sure 
it’ll occur once more, 
but I hope it happens again.’ 

The Sultan of sunny Bahrain, 
is sure he will stand in the rain, 
the temperatures showing, 
it soon will be snowing, 
it surely it will happen again

The Sultan of sunny Bahrain, 
is standing once more in the rain, 
‘Life feels so complete, 
now it’s washing my feet, 
I so hope it happens again.’