Limerick Poems About Holidays | Holiday Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: funny, holiday, thanksgiving,

A Thankful Turkey

Written by Gail DeBole

When a turkey, who yearly escapes
From his owner's Thanksgiving plate,
Was asked to reveal
Why he's never a meal
He said, "That much of a turkey I ain't!"

Note: Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of each November in the United States President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed this as an official holiday in 1863.

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny

Accept my Apologies

I’m sorry that I had to rob a bank
To buy your lavish aquarium tank
     Starkist rejects share a cell
     And Charlie’s begun to smell
Our debtors’ prison is bleak to be frank

If you can find a way to make my bail
Criminal activity I’ll curtail
     I’ll acquiesce to your wish
     Bid adieu to this foul fish
And worship you like you’re the Holy Grail

I’ll never mention the credit card fees
That swelled from your holiday shopping sprees
     You’ll find I’m truly contrite
     For snoring all through the night
And inadvertently cutting the cheese

Can you forgive me? I don’t deserve you
You’re the cream of the crop; I am just pooh
     Thank you for pointing this out
     Let’s put an end to this bout
To make reparations, I’ll ingest bamboo

Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: funny, people,

Portrait of Paula

Written: October 3, 2010

There once was a lady named Paula
Who loved to shop at the Mall-a.
She shopped ‘til she “dropped.”
She shopped and she shopped
Every Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall-a.

Christmas time put her skills to the test.
It was when Paula proved she was best.
The crowds stood amazed.
Paula could shop for days
Without losing her holiday zest.

Gail's note: Inspired by my friend Paula.
Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: humorous, valentines day,

Valentine's Day Sweets

A tongue with good luck is embraced
By a honeyed candy-like taste
This holiday treat
Is a fabulous eat
And lies under silk lingerie laced

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, dedication, fantasy, funny,

Black Friday

<                     ladies ~ gentlemen ~ start those....engines
                         miss  ~ Ho ~ down - prices..would be a sin
                                        best buy - circuit city
                                   black ~ pitty
                        5 am ~ now ~ who ~ wears ~ smiling.grins 

                          k- mart ~ wal - mart ~ target ~ pennys
                              red tag sales of many and plenty
                                 but you must buy in bulks
                        and ~  get ~ guy ~ like ~ the.hulk
                to ~ push ~ cart ~ while ~ you ~ chat ~ with.jenny

                         let's ~ all ~  hop ~ on ~ over ~ to ~ I - hop
                         your one stop for christmas breakfast slop
                                sure pancakes sounds yummy
                                     but wait till hits tummy 
                                 be sitting on stool till it plops

Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Commericialized Holiday Humor Contest
Gl All And Happy Holidays
Love Kathy & Jenny

Poem Details | by ilene bauer |
Categories: history, holiday, columbus day,


Columbus, ignoring advice,
Went out searching for Indian spice.
     His signals got crossed
     And soon he was lost
Which for us, turned out better than nice.

So this holiday everyone hails
One who, at his intended goal, fails;
     But because of his goof
     We're indebted - as proof,
All the stores have Columbus Day sales!

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, future, happy,

Hey James, what do you see

On holiday my eyes observed So tanned and beautifully curved Her eyes turned to me Hey! James what do you see? Patience, you'll receive your deserves .

Poem Details | by harry horsman |

The Conversation

Love and the Cook

I asked a simple question
need to know your suggestion
I know that you love me
I know I am your sweet pea
so what’s this indigestion?

Love and the Situation

Honey I think we are sinking
the tides coming in I am thinking
but then love is above all
did I hear a love bird call?
No it’s the sand in my eye winking.

Love and the Goddess

There was a girl from Philadelphia
who suffered from polydipsia
her lover’s advice she did seek
a holiday in ancient Greek
to drink the waters of Hestia.

© Harry J Horsman  2011

Poem Details | by Nancy Jones |
Categories: brother, nature, peace,

Polka Dot Swimming Trunks

In Florida one right hot summer
A free soul was havin' a bummer
So in spray painted undies
Next holiday Monday
He split to the Springs with his rummer.


Equally inspired by a net(te) comment and the lovely natural resources in North Florida

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: humor, valentines day,

Romance Foiled

To Valentines Day I am true
The joy of a score!
Sex is a pleasant
Heart holiday present
Now ruined since I’ve caught the flu

Poem Details | by Charles Henderson |
Categories: holiday

Future of Christmas

santa is mad and no wonder why
can’t even wave as he dashes by
first hurry to Walmart
then on to Cuisinart
getting gifts on the shelf, by July

sooner and sooner display the ware
to heck with the reason to be there
just help me fill my stein
fatten my bottom line
ease my pain, raise my gain is my fare

pretty soon we will be years ahead
we’ll get gifts back after we are dead
with no way to exchange
we’ll have to pre arrange
for Santa to return them instead


© 18 Nov 2010 Charles Henderson placed 3 rd
 Carolyn's commercialized Holiday contest

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: animal,

my contst pom

Last Christmas an ugly old frog

got fat drinking holiday nog.

But I saw him this fall

looking not fat at all -

in bright shorts out taking a jog!

Writtn Oct 10, 2016 for vivs missing lttr contst

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny, holiday,

His Heart She Did Twirl

I'll call her a different name
This girl whom I thought was my dame
On holiday she went
With my money well spent
To Malta she went on a plane

Whilst there she met a waiter called Frank
In bed playing sexual pranks
This Susanna my girl
His heart she did twirl
We're engaged, and this is her thanks

I looked forward to the day she came home
With this waiter her hands on he roamed
Hey! Susanna your dumped
I hope you end up real plump
Your a dog, I should throw you a bone

Wow! a man with the final say
Our relationship ends today
I wish you the best
With your holiday zest
It's my turn to go out and play

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny, holidayhouse, house,

Christmas Poem,, H Garvey Daniel...your tagged

There once was a Santa from Nome.
From house to house he did roam,
When done he stopped for a beer
And some friendly Holiday cheer.
Alas…… he couldn’t find his way home.

thank you Carolyn..lets see what the chef can come up with...

Poem Details | by ilene bauer |
Categories: giving,


At holiday time, it’s not hip
If certain gifts you choose to skip
     For a lot of folks wait
     The whole year for this date
And they’re counting on you for a tip.

If forgetfulness seems to prevail
And at gift-giving, sadly, you fail
     It’s not such a big deal
     But some time may reveal
That you’ve stopped getting service or mail!

Poem Details | by shane solomon |
Categories: funny

Love is a another name for debt

Where is fat baby cupid?
I hope he knows I think Valentines day is stupid
Buying expensive gifts at Walmart
Overweight babies shooting love darts
Honestly the whole holiday is simply putrid

Poem Details | by T.A. Skyles-Theoklapoet |
Categories: holidayday, valentines day, day,


Entered in Francine Roberts"Valentines day limericks"contest

                      Valentines day is my favorite holiday of the year.
                      Filled with hugs,kisses,love and the perfect day
                      I'm so happy for our Valentines day.
                      A day of love is here to stay.
                      Valentines day for lovers.

Categories: fun, nonsense,

Crooner Bruner

                             Crooner Bruner loved his schooner 'Billie'
                                  He took a short holiday in Chile
                                    He went to Torres del Paine
                                      Crooned across the terrain
                               And Came back home with a robust chilli 

Poem Details | by Roy Pett |
Categories: anger, holiday, vacation,

Sunbed rage

On holiday went down feeling cool
with my towel then felt such a fool
as the sun was breaking
every sun bed was taken 
angrily threw all towels in pool.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: children, food, humorous,


Last Christmas I made ten plum pies To donate to poor homeless guys But my kids ate them all You should have heard me bawl Bed early, there’s no compromise! The next morning they all had sore tums A result of eating all those plums With green faces and sad eyes I made THEM bake some more pies They would not even touch the pie crumbs! They helped carry the pies to the poor We gave them in at the shelter door When they saw the poor men They will now think again Of eating all the pies from mom's store FICTION POEM Punny holiday pies contest Sponsored by Michelle Faulkner 11/16/18

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous,

Render Unto The IRS - Bah Humbug

The Holiday Season has come and gone.

   Bank balance for that spree is overdrawn.

      Now I'm feeling mighty glum.

         Since Sam wants a hefty sum,

            The house and my dog I may have to pawn!

Entry for Carolyn Devonshire's "Tax And Finance Limerick" Contest

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: food, holiday, satire,

What diet

Another forty-eight hour holiday 
Eat, drink, sleep, go to synagogue and pray
  Consume piles of meat
  And desserts oh-so-sweet
I'll start my diet tomorrow, OK?

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: holiday, home, humorous, water,



Snow falling caused our flight delay We arrived home from holiday Radiator’s been leaking A new carpet I’m seeking I’m hoping insurers will pay! 2/1/19 Unfortunately it’s a true story.after a fabulous holiday in Cyprus we had a 6 hour delay at the airport, our flight plan then had to be re routed to Milan so they could change crew and de ice the planeWhen we eventually arrived in the UK we had 2 /12 hours sleep in the hotel before we had to be up for our flight back homeGot home and found a radiator has been leaking and had to spend 3 hours removing a sodden moldy carpetDespite all the drama I was still able to write with humour and posted my Regina limerick which, from all the comments, has made many people smile!

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

My Cooking Is Continuous

My Cooking Is Continuous

Not only is all of my cooking continuous;
Took into vein and it became venomous;
Diet went on,
Until weight gone;
Fought from table and effort was strenious.

Jim Horn

More of my Holiday Season poems.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: silly,

Old Sol Took A Holiday

Admonished old Sol for the holiday he took Disappeared for a weekend when big plans were booked Next time he tries that Gonna give him a slap Cept I fear my hand will need to be replaced with a hook

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: humor,


A merry display of earth’s socks from space.
They’re head over heels — a holiday ace.
Their Santa hats rock
with floating pom flocks.
These weightless bioches from space.


Poem Details | by Anna Hopper |
Categories: cute, humorous,

Reindeer contest

My very best pal is my pet reindeer 
A rack for my coat and holiday cheer
We get FUIs 
By eyes in the sky
But bribe them with Santa’s, sweet homemade beer

Tania Kitchin contest

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: giggle,

Ole Sol Took A Holiday

Admonished old sol for the holiday he took Disappeared for a weekend when big plans were booked Next time he tries that Gonna give him a slap Cept I fear my hand will need to be replaced with a hook

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: feelings,


Reset of the net and I oust this pest.
It hindered my reads - an unwelcome guest.
Interuptus cling!
No, can’t do a thing!
My holiday beast was a mad’ning pest.