There was a polite llama from Peru
Who encountered a wild boar with the flu
Llama said, 'Please don your mask
If it's not too much to ask'
The boar sneered, 'I'll be hog-tied if I do'
Slams Destroyed Her Head
She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!
© July 17, 2010
My dentist’s such a sadistic guy
No injection, I emit a cry
Open mouthed at his bill
Pain is much worse until
Quite slyly I knee him in his fly!
RoseAnn Malone resolved to lose weight.
She made a list of foods to forsake.
She did well 'till week four
eating more than before.
Airlines had to bill her at the freight rate.
American healthcare is a joke
Government play on too many folk
Those who can't pay
Whilst Trump switches from Lysol to Coke
A pandemic common occurrence:
Losing one's job and health insurance!
The hospital count*
Continues to mount
Morticians wonder who is the dunce?
* People without an income nor
health insurance die at home or in the
street, not in hospitals!
Aye, COVID-19 is here to stay
And we are all living day-to-day
So why must I ask
That you wear your mask?
No one wants what you're giving away!
American doctors all suck
We're in it to make a fast buck
Your meds cost a bunch
So eat pills for lunch
And pray God has blessed you with luck!
The whole world is laughing at Trump
Whose thoughts seem to come from his rump
Gave the world a chill
But clearly proved Trump is a chump!
Golfers ahead were really slow
because their dead balls just wouldn't go
we offered them beer,
later we found cheer--
they stepped aside to let it outflow.
It’s time for my next colonoscopy
Oh, how I dread the cost to me.
Must I drink all that stuff?
Wouldn’t a pint be enough?
I fear my insides may be lost to me.
There was once a man from Thomaston
He called his wife honey bun
His knee joint went out
In pain he did shout
Viagra's no longer number one
Bearing seed in a world with half embrace proves quite difficult
happiness gives way for ruthlessness in a risky summersault
seen to the womb as dirt
with danger is this flirt
the helpless victim has no say or choice in such an assault.
There once was a young boy called Tim,
Who decided the Mersey to swim,
Got in to his knees,
But started to freeze,
So decided it wasn't for him!
Health plans are many, take your pick
You'll need one when you get sick
give longevity a chance
cheat death of circumstance
and give your heart more time to tick.
Mr Moody yearned for a big pickle
His taste buds he needed to tickle
He ate twenty four
Then fell on the floor
Digestion can be oh so fickle
I'm hospitalized and there was a nurse named Jane
She said I need plenty of sleep for my health attain
She took samples of my urine and then replaced the infusion
She gave me my medicine and always checked on my condition
And every time I tried to sleep, her present made me awake again!
Proctologists need to write when
A prescription's called for big ben
But a doctor equipped
With thermometer quipped
An asshole's walked off with my pen
A hamburger with the lot,
Is where all the fat got,
French fries are the same,
Cheeseburgers too pretty lame,
They all make your arteries clot.
My addiction to Pepsi is a curse
It's bad for my body and for my purse
Limit is one per day
But I have feet of clay
I love the stuff..for better or for worse
for the Beverage contest...glug
Barbara Gorelick 10/27/11
There was a bad gym teacher of Gott
Whose belly was becoming a pot.
He avoided exercising
Which wasn't surprising
Because he didn't give a squat.
When her gastrointestinal tract
went gurglly and angrily talked back;
lamented my Maria,
"This damn diarrhea
with me flat on my back so lacks tact."
A Jewish attorney, Raskolnikov,
his Buddhist half-brother, Kaletnikov,
now here comes the bother,
they mimic each other,
so who gets 'good health!' or a 'mazel tov?'
I wanted to go fishing in the ocean
Forgot the result of constant motion
You wouldn't believe
How much I heaved
Would give gold for a nausea potion
For the "Fishing" contest.
There once was a sneeze named “Ker-chew”
His cousin next door was named “Flu”
He found "cold" in the hallway,
And threw up on the walkway,
I do hope he doesn’t find you!
~written for Gwendolyn's challenge~