Limerick Poems About Haiku | Haiku Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: age, body, humorous, men,

THE MALE MENOPAUSE - please feel free to join in the collaboration

Ted’s libido has now gone astray He refused a quick roll in the hay So what could be the cause - It’s the male menopause He’s been grumpy and snappy all day! His testosterone levels have dropped Many Viagra pills he has popped He drops one in his tea It will keep his cookie Standing up straight whenever it flopped By jingo, Ted’s put on so much weight It’s not down to the lunches he ate His once perfect tush Has now turned to mush Ted should diet before it’s too late His middle aged paunch has been spreading Can’t fit in the suit from his wedding He once was so hot Now he’s gone to pot And now I hear he wets his bedding Ted’s developing male breasts, I see So I renamed them "moobies," tee hee They stick out so far He needs a 'man bra' If measured - he’d be bigger than me! Ted’s losing all the hair on his head (It’s sprouting from his nostrils instead) With long hairs in his ear Poor Ted can hardly hear And he braids it when he goes to bed BY JAN ALLISON 8/4/18 Mister T has trouble finding his ding dong I have to laugh even though I know it's wrong He's nothing but a wimp Now that his parts are limp Bet he knows where it all started to go wrong WRITTEN BY LIN LANE Ted is anxiously awaiting his date A beautiful blond he met out of state took blue pills from his pocket to help rev up his rocket but he wonders if she would rather wait WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN "I'm so sorry"Apologised Ted To his wife, as they lay in their bed It's not you that's the cause It's that male menopause "Do you fancy a cocoa instead". WRITTEN BY RICHARD D SEAL Well the doc said “you need exercise”, So it’s football today with the guys, Roger yells “on me head!” “Well I could do,” says Ted, “What’s the point though, when everything dies?” WRITTEN BY NINA PARMENTER That male menopause can be iffy, do more than just cost you your stiffy. You've no more will to jerk; it's just way to much work, but you'll write new haiku in a jiffy! WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Ted had a problem didn't know the cause his mate told him it's the manopause advised him to see Bill to purchase a blue pill Bill said this will amuse her indoors Ted asked his wife not to sneer or mock when he told her it was such a shock he had tried a blue pill to give her a big thrill worked too well its now a stumbling block. WRITTEN BY ROY PETT She burst into the room and caught Ted lying naked, aroused on the bed thought that she was the reason that he was now 'in season' not brochures for a new garden shed WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY There a was guy named Ted,that was cool He would make all the young ladies drool Now he’s married and limp And he resembles a blimp The “lift” tanked and the Mrs thinks his a fool WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y The male menopause caught up with old Ted He's no longer the stallion in bed But now he takes a little pill Before he goes in for the kill Now his poor wife just lays there full of dread WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM Ted used to be good in the sack. `Til he started smoking that crack. Now his wife`s had enough and she`s left in a huff and picked up a spare with Jack. WRITTEN BY CHARLIE KNOWLTON His wife asked, "Ted what's the cause" He replied, "tis the male menopause, I was embarrassed to mention It won't stand to attention" I'm afraid you've been clutching at straws." WRITTEN BY GARY SMITH Ted loved his "kit-and-kaboodle", Kept it clipped like a champion poodle But a glitch in his gland.. Meant the thing wouldn't stand So it hung from his a noodle. WRITTEN BY GREGORY R BARDEN

Poem Details | by Lycia Harding |
Categories: funny, tribute,

Kims Poetry Gym - Tribute Limerick

An eloquent lady named Kim
works her Words at the Poetry gym
Limericks put on mass
while Haiku takes spin class
and her Couplets are healthy and trim!

This limerick was written for my 
Soup buddy Kim Patrice Nunez
Thanks for your positive input 
and excellent supportHugz!

Poem Details | by Jim Slaughter |
Categories: poetry, poets, writing,

Let There Be Limericks: To all you wannabe poets

To all you wannabe poets
To all you wannabe poets,
Here's a word of advice ere you start:
If you want folks to love it,
Keep your ego out of it.
When you write always write from the heart.

Dressing up a poem
It's great fun to write haiku and sonnets
About rainbows and gay Easter bonnets,
But if you find them too terse,
Try to flesh out your verse,
And festoon it with quatrains and nonets.

Scriptor Interruptus
Poets come, and poets go, and poets coincide.
Some rhyme time and time again, others "free verse" with pride.
But those who let their egos reign
Oft fade and never scribe again.
They succumb to the literary sin of "authorcide".

The pleasure and the pain
Writing is for me both pain and pleasure,
The time I spend with pad and pen I treasure.
I must confess, though,
Sometimes I stress so
When syllables I try to use refuse to measure.

Categories: fun,

The old tree Lee

                                   The old tree Lee had the seed of an idea
                                    He wanted blisters on skin for diarrhea
                                         Meeting was held in Casablanca
                                           All wrote limerick haiku tanka
                                     Compost bed urea soup and Cytherea

© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
18 December 2014

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny,

Slick Limerick

Barbara writes poetry, or so she thinks
Unfortunately her stuff really stinks
Her haiku is bad
And her rhyme is sad
Just one more post and the ”soup" will need drinks

Poem Details | by Ray Cardillo |
Categories: funny, humorous, poems, riddle,

Haiku Limerick

There is too much Haiku in my head.
Too much Five-Seven-Five being read.
For a real good time,
We all like a rhyme,
So I wrote this limerick instead.

Poem Details | by stephen pennell |
Categories: fun,

bring on the haiku

There once was a poetry contest
which was an heroic concept  
The great Roger McGough 
just took a quick look 
and entered a haiku contest instead

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Should Have Seen and More

Should Have Seen

You should have seen what I saw;
Looked just like my mother in law;
Had been devoted;
Body badly bloated;
She called me a turkey in the straw.

Jim Horn

Think Turkey in the Straw is a dance.

Holy Rollers In A Row

What I saw was Holy Rollers in a row;
Could always tell by way faces glow;
They Have held on,
Until communion gone;
Episcopalian Priests are always a pro.

Jim Horn

Horn Haiku for New Year

Be at later date,
When Horn haiku has been formed,
While you are waiting.

Jim Horn

Some words to use for poems.

Vivacious, courageous, gracious.

Confusing, choosing, amusing.

Rudimentary, complimentary, pecuniary

Habitant, penitent, compliment.

Exceed, stampede, recede.

Complacent, eloquent, competent

Irefuted, diluted, muted and recruited.

Provoking, joking, pokinginvoking.

Hesistant, consistant, resistant.

Bestowed, glowed, bowed

Contested, rested, suggested.

Loss, moss, toss.

Denied, shied, cried.

Facts, detracts, lacks.

Cathartic, lethargic, tragic

Rocket, sock it, locket

Love we will want is wide and broad,
Made exactly for us and not a fraud;
Answer know;
To God do go;
To Him we must pray to and in laud 

Jim Horn

He is definitely deeply in my prayers,
For all of us we know that God cares;
Do start to play,
More each day;
He will always free us from all despair.
Wrote this especially for Jon Freeman 
of StJames.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Dear Mario Vitale

Suited To Be Recruited

When we have not been letting God bless,
Our minds may always end up in a mess,
And after to Him we did forget to pray,
we soon discovered sadness and dismay.

Have to look nice and be properly suited;
In service you are sure to be recruited; 
Then read haiku well written by Jim Horn;
Magnificent poem in your mind will be born.

Jim Horn

Guess you can't have two styles of
poems at the same time.

Write A Poem Horn Haiku

on words was a play
am sure that you understand
write short poem for me

Dear, Mario Vitale

Ivory Tower for Trump is now too tall; 
Takes advantage of and treats us small; 
Can be confusing;
Never is amusing;
Deceptive and for him we did not fall.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Many More Horn Poems

Many More Horn Poems

Had looked like  a light brown cow;
And did know it was her somehow;
Climb could not;
Even  when hot;
We could tell by each long eye brow.

Of what can a  profound poem consist?
Subjects am sure  come from long list;
Though am inept;
Challenge accept;
Write them have found it hard to resist.

Horn haiku with limericks have become,
Poetry you pull out  like a purple plum;
God did invite,
Poem to write;
Ate one  and to spare  still have some.

Perfect example other poets have set;
When both their minds and mine met;
Persue pleasure,
We do treasure;
Come into my mind each poem did let.

After daily poems  were over and done, 
Had a hard time picking out which one;
Will peruse,
For  abuse;
You may sing having been home spun.

While we had gathered up so much moss,
Ended up with  while soon coming across;
Hard as stone,
My pie alone;
For more words were at a complete loss.

When my poems by other poets do read,
Sweat on my forehead did start to bede;
My poems do adore;
Much more in store;
Actually would like me to be in the lead.

When poems  were selected  and disected,
What we suspected  after being inspected;
We were up tight;
Put in  grave site;
Not respected and needed to be corrected.

Poets had always seemed so benovolent;
And from God in heaven  they were sent;
Poems  neared;
Then appeared;
Read many of them much time have spent.

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Food Haiku By Horn

Food Haiku By Horn

Before we would cook,
Recipee fell out when shook,
From pages in book.

We could hardly wait,
For the meal which would be great;
Never ever late.

So when suspicious,
Food dishes would meet wishes;
They were delicious.

For us all to share
Our food was flown in the air;
Was beyond compare.

Facts did appear firm,
Bird food loved had been long worm;
Would wiggle and squirm.

Jim Horn

With Holy Food Have Been Feed

Our imagination should try to spread;
When with Holy Food have been feed;
Not tired,
And inspired;
To heaven one day are sure to be lead.

Jim Horn

Appetite Try To Satisfy

Any appetite we would try to satisfy,
And meal for sinners always supply;
On us relied;
Food provide,
Them things to eat and not pass by.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Horn Haiku Will Have To Do

Horn Haiku Will Have To Do

When I wrote a few
Haiku much better than you;
They had to do.

Jim Horn