Charmaine my love, you're the sweetheart of the Soup
Everyone adores you including this nincompoop
If you ever leave
So many would grief
Probably thousands would leave including this old coot
© Jack Ellison 2015
Is it sweet or salty or sour?
Brimming with happiness or always dour?
Prancing, living with gaiety
Or waiting for a guillotine
Now standing forever to scour?
It's goodbye to mad Frankie Fraser
The East Ends gangster appraiser
So loyal to the Kray's
To his very last day
One the Sixties ultimate erasures
There was an old leprechaun chief,
His haemorrhoids caused him some grief,
So he cussed and he swore
That his butt was so sore,
And wiped with a soft shamrock leaf.
For Andrea’s limerick contest
A badgering wife caused her husband such grief,
Each time she did he ground his teeth,
Over the years his teeth become
Nothing but stumps upon his gum,
His friends all called her, 'the calcium thief.'
There was an eligible undertaker
Who married a trouble-maker.
She gave him such grief
He desperately sought relief.
So he forthwith did under take her.
Once there was a miss by name Lilly,
Imitates to make others appear silly.
Pent-up feeling unleashed,
my pain of rejection eased.
Bloody Lilly, no good griefVery very silly!
Charlie Brown offered his pal Linus
Food that Lucy said was the finest
She said it was Hummus
Charlie you’re the dumbest
Good grief, that stuff came from her sinus
For L&H Limerick contest
Tonight, I view the lovely full moon,
near the ocean on a lonely sand dune,
with memories of my only true love,
who is watching me from far above.
My only solace is a haunting tune.
I understand and respect the way you feel.
I know a desire to be sexy is your freewheel.
you eat once a day...since May you never betray.
keep holding on just for more few days and you will be a keel.
by: 2clean #Limerick
There's a lady I know by the name of Carol
She lives with a Dragon at her very own peril
He's caused her grief
By burning Mike's briefs
It's a good thing her Dragon is sterile
© Jack Ellison 2015
There once was a green Irish elf
Who was an old miserable get
who didn't like the Guinness
And was married to a Mrs
Who just loved to give, Male elves grief
comp entry 18032016
In a land far away lived a fairy named Bernice
Not a typical name for a fairy, I do belieth
How about that Sir John John
I just wave my magic wand wand
Words magically rhyme without any grief
© Jack Ellison 2015
My first love was called Sue Heather,
I thought I’d love her forever.
We kissed and came to grief:
With braces on her teeth,
She stapled my lips together.
Indian met white man at the docks.
Taught him to plant corn and shared his flocks.
White man gave disease and grief,
Stole his lands like common thief.
Indian lucky to keep his mocs.
This winter has brought unrelenting gray
Unlit gray sky is all I've seen for days
Gray snow a relief
From gray rain's dank grief
Hurry, springtime - make the gray go away!
for Same Word Winter Limerick contest
Sponsor: charles messina
Was admonished today on another site
Basically for my humour, she took a swipe
Offensive she claimed
Smart remarks I'm blamed
Well loved by many, still winning in spite
The cleaning ladies are here, oh boy!
We'll soon get through the rubble, oh joy!
Perhaps a bomb went off
There's swimmies in my broth
Doing the backstroke and loudly yelling ahoy!
© Jack Ellison 2016
The most dangerous critter is the lowly mosquito
Spreading nasty germs round the world, my amigos
Need to squish them flat
With a swat and a splat
Watch for blood and guts all over your chemise-o
His suits and empires made it so swift
from afar all you saw was his mid-rift
with me you were glowing
our future was moving
from his dark pit, you now expect a lift.
There was a man from Nilkhet,
He used to put his money into his pocket.
While he was working at his store,
He heard someone nocked on his door,
He didn't know how did he pick pocket!
He Found A Cubic Zirconia In The Rough
he sat at the bar looking over at her tee
in bold letters it read catch and release me
after a few drinks he was game
closing on the brink of her flame
his shrank as she imparted a handling fee
Wearing a heart monitor is annoying at the least
Aware of it's function, gives an indication of heart grief
Whether healthy of not
Free of nasty blood clots
Annoying, but could indicate a life long yummy feast
Can anyone tell me what a blooper is anyway
Is it like a goofy unplanned accident at someone's soiree
Like a dark patch
A wee bit damp
While being filmed at daughter's graduation day
She put a stop to his hop
She finally stopped him from crossing her bridge
Always on his terms, as he made his way to her fridge
He cared only about filling his own plate
As he ate her food, got his fill, got sate
She at last closed her doors to his ways to her porridge