My divine manual and life prospectus is the Bible
my ways, a beautiful mirror sparkling like clean Marble
falsehood can’t colour my teeth
Jesus Christ is not a myth
the hope of eternal life, a conviction, not a gamble.
When at home its often fast food I crave,
might even be leftovers that I saved,
always in a race,
open and shut case,
thank God for my nuke everything microwave!
My Most Fabulous Friend
Found you to be my most fabulous friend;
Profound poem prepared and shall send;
And what my fate,
Is you to motivate;
God is great and know never has an end.
When God made the beasts, in days of old
It seems He lacked quality control
That surely would veto
The cursed mosquito
And preclude all that itching untold
American doctors all suck
We're in it to make a fast buck
Your meds cost a bunch
So eat pills for lunch
And pray God has blessed you with luck!
A priest made the sign of a cross
Then knelt to pray to his boss
A pigeon flew by
And baptised the guy
To prove prayers do not gather moss
Way To Success God Had Shone
Instead of being bare to the bone,
And also by myself and left alone;
Not worth seeing;
Wish way to success God had shone.
Three Who We Love and Laud
There are three we do love and laud;
Spirit with Son whose father is God;
Together all our sins they have shod.
Do you disagree with any of this?
Or maybe a point I might miss;
That appeared to look ludicrous.
A virgin out searching for God
Discovered that God was a fraud!
How can peace endure
Or girls remain pure
When males come equipped with a prod?
God Created Things With Wings
God had created things with wings,
And the best out of us always brings;
Like a lamb,
When we will hear a bird that sings.
In Prayer Will Plead
In prayer to God will always plead,
Meet my requirements and do need;
Help me to overcome all my greed.
God Break Me from My Ridgid Stance
God break me from my ridged stance;
Chance allowing me to escape trance,
I had been in,
Again and again,
And enlightened when You enhance.
Sinner Or an Offender
Even if a sinner or an offender,
True love is sure to be tender;
God is great with His splendor.
Sitting There Saying a Prayer
While I had been sitting there,
Started suddenly to say a prayer,
When I would,
And also could;
God is always with many to spare.
Getting a head start for Sunday.
Alas, it was the year of the scorned princess
when Diana did on Charles and Camilla dis!
But the Queen hid her dis-dain
yet through it all she did reign
and God saved her from her annus horribilis!
I met a "God Sent" Indian Giver once
A theater costume manager named Hans
Acting on stage
I felt just rage
He chased me shouting: "Give me baak my pants!"
for Poet Destroyer's Contest "Indian Giver"
O' me favorite sport must be drinkin.'
That's the way that God made me I'm thinkin.'
For it seems without fail,
If I start quaffin' ale,
That the landlord will send me home stinkin.'
The tree is life - its branches broken -
For the grafted in its boughs betoken!
Faith is the root
And love its fruit...
So God will judge as He has spoken!
A hundred years ago lest we forget
They paid a price and paid a debt!
Soldiers in a world at war
Battled on a foreign shore,
And so say us all God bless the Vet.
Head straight to the coffee pot after I pee
What happened this morning? Good god mercy me
Empty Folgers can
Was I pissed? Yes ma’am
(Four extra-large bags make a fine cup ‘o tea)
In the beginning, when man became-
Murder and death seemed a fun game.
This was not what God meant
When giving us consent-
To our own choice, only man is to blame.
The forces of nature are odd
So is that why we invent god?
Our deity’s norm
Seems to be human form
And reflects this silly facade
O'Leary was sick drinking beer
He hoped it would all disappear
There was no one around
As he crawled on the ground
Thanking God that the bathroom was near
God said, " Baseball between us sounds swell"!
Satan replied, "Your team, just will not, do well"!
"I know Mantle and Ruth play for you
but there ain't a whole lot, they can do
cause the Umpires, are all down here, in Hell"!
"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill
And need to own more than just one
A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack