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Limerick Poems About Girlfriend | Girlfriend Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Girl

You are scissors, and all you can do is to cut all those paper hearts through. But I’ve hardened my heart and before you can start to destroy me, I’m going to SMASH you!
(Gosh, PD, they won't even permit the ~sign in the title!)

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Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend,

Beer Keg Legs


Meg has two old battered beer keg legs
that don't look to hold much more than dregs
But when Greg comes along 
she begs; "Please, please, belong 
to me I still gotta lotta eggs.”  


*Written at Elizabeth Wesley's request.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: ireland,

Dear Bobby McGee

In a horrible dull monotone Bobby spoke, and his girlfriend would moan, “No kisses from me, dear Bobby McGee till you first kiss the old Blarney Stone.” Written March 15, 2017 for Kim Merryman's Luck of the Irish Limerick Contest


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

CLOWNING AROUND

An impotent circus clown called Billy Tied balloons to the end of his willy To his great surprise His todger did rise But his girlfriend just thought he looked silly! 03~01~17



Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: girlfriend,

Miss Wrong with plenty of Baggage

I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all night...

for the Baggage contest


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Why Suzie Laughed

“Your undies I see,” joked Wong Ling
as his girlfriend swang high on a swing.
Suzie laughed and she laughed,
saying, “You are so daft,
‘cause down there I’m not wearing a thing!”

Dec30, 2018 for the 'Bawdy Limerick ' Poetry Contest of Tania Kitchin


Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: age, appreciation, beauty, body, fantasy, girlfriend, money,

What A Way To Go

An old man bought her gems and he smiled,
Knowing where they would be in a while...
Sex with a young beauty,
Great legs, boobs and booty.
If he died, he'd be going in style.


Poem Details | by JEAN MURRAY |
Categories: dog, girlfriend, humorous,

FARTING FARMER

There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.


Poem Details | by Nate D. |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

.~69~. /Zodiac.Race/

~69~ /zodiac sign/

There once was a hermit crab named Nate
Who enjoyed the solitude of his hate
   Meeting a lovely lady
   A sexy Texan, name P.D.
Finding true hate, trying to online date 

(Zodiac Sign Contest)


Poem Details | by Mitch White |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

"Does my butt look big ?"

I was with my girlfriend at dinner
With each bite she took, she got thinner
Until she was just skin and bone
I blinked twice and I was alone
I then woke up, lying next to her


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: girlfriend,

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

If your love life's a beach with no sun,

here's some dating advice 1 0 1.

Don't be boring or stern -

Pay attention and learn

this one thing: Girls just wanna have fun!



WRitten July 1, 2015 for the Triple Threat Poetry Contest of Casarah Nance


Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: funny

Apology Unaccepted

I’m sorry, “He cried!” But everyone knows,
how horribly comical ego goes.
    No less in a public place,
    driving car in girlfriend chase,
Seinfeld picked that nose in one of his shows!! 

For and in honor of Barbara Gorelick and contest
Apology Accepted


Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: allusion, cute love, funny love, giggle, girlfriend, humor, love,

Marsha Mellow

My girlfriend's name is Marsha Mellow
And I am quite a lucky fellow.
But dear reader don't be hasty
It's not because her lips are tasty,
For she's the orchestra's third cello.


Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Emmmmm Good

The spring in my pants was so dandy.
She wanted to suck it like candy.
When she closed her eyes.
I gave my surprise.
Never saw a girl quite that handy!


For Francine Roberts "Wow me in 5 lines" contest


Poem Details | by Natalie The Rogue Rhymer |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend, slam,

Breakup Text

Last night you texted, "Honey, it’s the end"
But I will not cry…my heart will soon mend
‘Cuz I’ve got so many calls
Unlike you, from guys with balls
And tonight, those balls are of your best friend


Poem Details | by Tom Wright |
Categories: boyfriend, girlfriend,

Cooter

“Cooter” By Tom Wright There once was a blonde bar room shooter, Who would travel around town on a scooter? She was real slick, At chalking a stick, But she couldn’t best her boyfriend “Cooter”.


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Hickey Dickey

I knew of a guy called Dickey
Whose life became rather tricky
When he kissed the girls
They left pretty burls
Never showing us his hidden hickeys


Poem Details | by Nyonglema Pisoh |
Categories: betrayal, boyfriend, child, children, conflict, feelings, girlfriend,

A dull three - aka Adultery

Love lived in the hearts of Him and Her,
 But distance shrouded fear over Her
 And to punish Her reluctance
 He gave another girl a chance
 And she brought triplets nine months later.



(c) Nyonglema


Poem Details | by Josette Key |
Categories: death, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

'Ouch'

   


A man found himself in a pickle
When his girlfriend found he was fickle
He said "won't you stay"
She said "there's no way"
As she took his head off with a sickle.







Josette Key    2010


Poem Details | by Marty Owens |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, people, space

Mars And Venus

On Mars it's a man you will see.
On Venus a lady will be.
     But what's so amazing,
     Will make all your heads ring.
They both get together with glee!


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

Naked to Bare

My girl loves to lie in the nude
For one thing she sure ain't a prude
She's so naked to bare
And just doesn't care
But all the other guys eyes are so glued










http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-5.php


Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

The Indian Giver Love Bandit

He promised to love me forever
Then again he was just being clever
He took back his love
So I gave him a shove
Headfirst in cow dung-my endeavor!





** for Indian Giver contest
  sponsored by(Destroyer ((Poet


Poem Details | by Gerard Keogh Jr. |
Categories: angst, forgiveness, girlfriend-boyfriend

My Sweet All Sour

" I am sorry!" as I told you before.
You keep saying that I must do more.
Should I break down and cry?
Should I curl up and die?
Either way- you still walk out the door.


Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: science fiction,

My Satanic Phone

I once had a satanic phone,
When anyone called, it would groan.
It made up a lie,
Told my girlfriend Di:
‘He’s out…giving the dog a bone.’ *

*Slang for sex


Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: dance, funny, girlfriend, humor, money, work,

My Pole Dancer

This Pole Dancer she was with me
All other men must pay her fee
Still I must confess
My family’s stress
But Polish dance lessons aren’t free