Poem Details | by
Anne Currin |
Categories:
metaphor,
There was a young girl whose silk skin
Was sewn up with some thread and a pin.
It would drive the men mad,
That sleek layer she had,
Well, until she took off her silk skin.
By Anne Currin
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Poem Details | by
SKAT A |
Categories:
abuse, betrayal, confusion, how
(The Contest)
I once knew a gentle poet boy
Pretending to be the real McCoy
He lost two in a row
This is no game show
At the end, I felt used by the playboy
(The cold rain)
I wish I could take back the HM
Don't know why you chose to condemn
I thought we were friends
Now I see through crystal lens,
How you think all your poems are a top gem
(Not a reason to hate)
I once knew a girl with heavy makeup
Behind her smile, her face was corrupt
She was in it for the race
Wanting all her poems to place
She did not win, now she's all worked up
SKAT
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Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
humor,
A woman gave birth to a son
named Justice; he had little fun.
If he wanted to play,
his mama would say,
“But only when Justice is done!”
Poor Justice, from morning till night,
tried hard to do everything right.
By the end of the day,
he still could not play,
for his time to do chores was so tight!
His life was a crime with no play!
We all know that crime doesn’t pay.
But were I in his shoes,
having paid all my dues,
I think I might just run away.
Well, sure enough, Justice did flee
and ended up in Tennessee.
With no place to belong,
he felt sad till along
came a girl who smiled tenderly.
Looking ragged, he asked (with some shame)
if the young girl would tell him her name.
“Can you guess?” said the Miss.
“Here’s a clueIt is this
Those who have me don’t take all the blame.”
The young man did not have a clue
what her name was; it was all new.
He’d never hear of
- yet soon grew to love -
this girl and her charming name too.
Today Justice likes more his life
because this girl lessens his strife.
He learned her name well
when in love he fell
and Mercy he took for a wife!
For the Story Poem Contest Poetry Contest of Carol Eastman
|
Poem Details | by
Tim Ryerson |
Categories:
funny,
Diz Cajonne dey call Thibodaux
Paddle dis girl in his Pirogue
Den he see dem unmention
Dad tool stan at attention
She slap him stick HARD doncha' know
Dad pole shrink awful fas he yell whoa!
Sha, whad did you swat dad ting fo?
Now it at parade rest
Like diz bird in a nest
She-say-"I-scared-a'-dem-SNAKE-buddy-ohh!"
PD's contest
|
Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
funnywords,
On the beach strolled a woman - ambitious!
She spied a man fishing - delicious!
“Ohhhh, your arms are so strong
and your rod is so long
I bet you catch hundreds of fishes!”
The fisherman looked with surprise
at this beautiful girl with blue eyes.
With words loved by men
she kept reeling him in,
for she always could spot a good prize!
Flirting words and a magical look
were her bait, and that’s all that it took!
The cute gal got her wish,
and if all men were fish,
all the best ones would be on her hook!
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Poem Details | by
john williams |
Categories:
funny,
A good looking plumber named Marty Ridge,
Met the girl of his dreams near a pub fridge,
Even though very attracted to this plumber man,
Sue had to say no when asked for her hand,
She just couldn't be known as, Sue Ridge.
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Poem Details | by
Sara Kendrick |
Categories:
food, funny,
There once was a girl from Arizona
Who could only fit in a kimona
She vowed to lose some weight
But loved all kinds of cake
Even drawn by pumpkin cake's aroma
She vowed that she would be stronger
Would wear kimonos no longer
With cotton up her nose
From the table arose
Now in leggins she does saunter
Sponsor: Gwendolin R.
Contest:A Limerick In My Pocket
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Poem Details | by
Poet Destroyer A |
Categories:
funny,
**REAL CEREAL TRIX**
This girl Rio's, packed lunch in a cereal bowl
Her language almost sounds like espanol
Adding chocolate chunks to her munch
Funny how she ate, cinnamon toast crunch
The real TRIX is to add corn, in anything, NIKKO!
hahha kidding!
dedicated to RIO~aka NIKKO
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Poem Details | by
Teppo Gren |
Categories:
change, humor, woman,
A GUN IN HER POCKET
I once knew a woman named Carrie
She was the kind of girl I’d marry
Touched the gun in her pocket
I shot off like a rocket
She had changed herself to be Larry
T.J Grén
2nd June, 2016
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Poem Details | by
James Marshall Goff |
Categories:
funny
with one foot short I was hamper’d
believin' my life was 'ncumber’d
when quite by surprise
'peared a girl with cross-eyes
and proclaim’d I was doctor order’d!
01/18/11
© All Rights Reserved
|
Poem Details | by
niketa mckenzie |
Categories:
funny, lost love, love,
Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub
|
Poem Details | by
robert johnson |
Categories:
fun,
A sweet little girl named Alex.
Always put words in italics.
Plain print wouldn't do.
So when she was through.
They were known as Alex Italics.
|
Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
humorous,
I once knew a woman called Terri
Who always was sipping the sherry
She got steaming drunk
And fell off her bunk
The medics described her as ‘merry’
WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON
20th October 2016
Still in her old knickers grinning
Until the room started spinning
Feeling not all right
Spent from a great night
Her troubles were just beginning
WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH
I heard she was also stacked
Whenever she got racked
On the top bunk
who woulda thunk
Sippin' sherry would get her untracked.
WRITTEN BY JOHN WULF LIM'RIK FLATS
So there she was a-reelin'
Had the ER patients squealin’
Doc was quite put out!
But never did shout
Shot her more sherry, now she’s dreamin’
WRITTEN BY SAN WOO
Her night on the tiles was made more so
by a bottle or two Oloroso
fell off her bunk ladder
the poor girl she was bladdered
and added a bruise to her Torso
WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY
Now Terri was off on a spree,
the truth is she barely could see.
She reached for the door,
fell flat on the floor
and screamed like an Irish banshee.
WRITTEN BY KEITH LOGAN
Terri swore she'd never get drunk again
Until she met a handsome guy named Glen
he shot her a wink
and bought her a drink
She's addicted to alcohol and men!
WRITTEN BY LIN LANE
Terri was known for being the town drunk
Who would listen to heavy metal and punk
She played it real loud
And drew a big crowd
But they didn't come close due to her pet skunk
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
Once I got drunk drinking all that Sherry
With the voluptuous pretty Mary
They found us both on the floor
Just three yards away the door
Her relatives said I had to marry
WRITTEN BY DEMETRIOS TRIFIATIS
This Terri gets quite inebriated
If all these tales can be authenticated
She gets drunk, listens to punk
Sips Old Monk with her pet skunk
Until she becomes quite nauseated
WRITTEN BY TREY HAMNER
Terri came India for few week
Few days after she got seek
No wine" team move her nice
She takes pills with their advice
Now Terry shines smart with red round cheek
WRITTEN BY MANMATH DALEI
The booze ran through Terri but she
kept peeing as fast as can be
The money ran out,
She started to shout:
"From now on I drink herbal tea!"
WRITTEN BY DARREN WHITE
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Poem Details | by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories:
friendship, sad
There’s a peach of a girl named P.D.
Who is a friend of both you and me
She’s gone away
I already miss her today
Her kind words and Queen Slam poetry
*If you find another sad limerick let me know*
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Poem Details | by
Tim Smith |
Categories:
candy, children, forgiveness, halloween,
smoke billowed from her boiling pot
a spell for ages she had sought
a special treat
for kids to eat
some pickled plums so teeth won't rot
but children laughed at what she made
to taste the swill they were afraid
the witch was sad
and got real mad
their taunts one day would be repaid
all hallows eve had come and went
a day the kids would soon resent
a curse was laid
the children paid
their treats turned into hard cement
they moaned and wept and some did cry
asking questions and pleading why
they were upset
with no regret
wishing that witch would surely die
now this is what I have been told
the days have passed and I am old
one girl returned
her lesson learned
and turned a heart to warm from cold
**it is never to late to say you are sorry*
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Poem Details | by
Richard Olson |
Categories:
humorous,
A cannibal I knew named Larry,
was the captain of his own private ferry.
He circled the sound,
whenever in town.
His stomach wouldn't tolerate dairy.
One day this vegan named Nancy,
became the girl that Larry did fancy.
They stopped after wine,
whenever they'd dine,
as the meal grew evermore chancy.
With their dietary habits at odds,
Larry gave up pursuing warm bods.
He tried eating green,
but found it obscene.
So he tried catching fish with some rods.
One day, Larry fell in the sea
where a great white just happened to be.
The shark had no plate,
but smiled as he ate.
The man who had flesh with his tea.
His girl just wallowed in grief,
when she heard what had swallowed her beef.
She found Larry's boat,
along with a note,
and a map to the "Great Barrier Reef."
With a harpoon, and the map, by her side,
she went on one helluva ride.
She found the great white,
beaded her sight,
and shot the harpoon as she cried.
"Oh what have you done with my man?"
She said as she stuck to her plan.
She pulled the shark out,
and just like a trout,
filleted it, and made it with bran.
She wondered what Larry would say,
if he could see what she was eating today.
And just like a dream
came his eye with her scream,
from the stomach that got in her way.
She felt so completely ashamed,
as Larry watched so terribly maimed.
All he did was stare,
at his girl once fair.
More than shark, it was her that he blamed.
Written: 11/23/16
(Posted the following day on Thanksgiving)
(To be read allowed just prior to the meal)
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Poem Details | by
jack horne |
Categories:
girlfriend,
I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all night...
for the Baggage contest
|
Poem Details | by
MC MC |
Categories:
funny,
There once was a girl named Lilly
who often liked to be silly
she put a spoon upon her nose
then she wrote a bit o' prose
and called it mexican chilly !
|
Poem Details | by
john freeman |
Categories:
introspection,
Note: A.ga.pe is three syllables.
John Moses assumed he was doing well.
You know only the absolute can tell.
His Agape, copy,
ranked totally sloppy,
At the gate Peter said, ”what’s that I smell?’
`T was certain girl from our poetry soup,
The one not in love with heavenly group,
from behind me she snickered,
and with Peter she bickered.
This is the total stinky pooh…err… scoop!
==================
==================PS "Just Kidding"
For and in Honor of Poet Destroyer
And Contest: Slick Limerick
|
Poem Details | by
Jerry T Curtis |
Categories:
adventure, animal, crazy, hilarious,
I once knew a girl from Nantucket
Who chased down a goose, just to pluck it
As she ran, took a spill
So he gave her a quill
And I guess we all know, where he stuck it
Just not clean enough for contests---lol
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Poem Details | by
Kim Merryman |
Categories:
fantasy, funny, snow,
There once was a girl named Snow White,
Of a poisoned apple she took a bite.
Seven dwarves found her sleeping,
And they began weeping.
Who would fix their supper tonight?
Only one thing could save this fair miss,
A prince must give her a kiss.
There was no time to waste,
So the dwarves they made haste,
To find a prince for their miss.
A prince showed up the next day,
And the dwarves they did not delay.
They showed him Snow White,
Told him of her plight,
Then said, "Kiss her, then be on your way."
The prince gazed down on her face,
And his heart started to race.
What a beautiful maid,
Yes, she must be saved!
To refuse would be a disgrace.
He bent and kissed her awake.
One kiss was all it did take.
They stared at each other,
The dwarves said, "Oh brother!"
"We may have made a mistake."
To the prince they said, "Listen here!"
"We want to be perfectly clear."
"Snow White belongs to us,
So don't raise a fuss,
Or you'll get a swift kick in the rear!"
Snow White was quick to object.
"Now boys, let's show some respect.
The prince saved my life,
And I'll gladly be his wife.
What else could you possibly expect?"
The prince said, "Hey, don't worry guys.
You won't have to say your good-byes.
You can live in the castle,
It won't be a hassle.
Cross my heart, I'm telling no lies."
So Snow White and her prince tied the knot,
And they honey-mooned on a great yacht.
The dwarves stayed behind
And at the castle they dined.
All in all they were pleased with their lot.
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Poem Details | by
Shane Cooper |
Categories:
friendship, heartbreak,
I once knew a girl who lived far away,
Who told me a fairy tale one sunny day,
We would be friends for evermore,
I would never be shown the door,
I called her my friend but she wouldn’t stay,
The story is over the finish less than gay,
The fact is my life has been put in disarray,
Best friends an oath she swore,
But that doesn’t count anymore,
The pain I feel will end soon I hope and pray,
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Poem Details | by
Huberta van Akkeren |
Categories:
life,
There once was a girl from a grotto
Who lived with a very short motto
Live and let live
Be happy to give
Life’s joy is not winning the lotto
|
Poem Details | by
Heather Ober |
Categories:
humorous,
There once was a girl named Miss Curry
Whose brows always caused quite a worry.
She went to the spa
To have them waxed raw
And now they're not nearly so furry.
Entered in Andrea's "Show Me the Funny" contest
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Poem Details | by
Owen Yeates |
Categories:
girl, dad, dad,
A young girl called Freya it’s said
Had ginger hair all over her head
Her dad of her was fond
He said it’s strawberry blond
Not ginger and certainly not red
Our nieces daughter is Ginger haired but her dad is adamant she is not so wrote this for him.
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Poem Details | by
KP Nunez |
Categories:
children, humor, nonsense,
There’s this little girl who just picks on her nose
not only with fingers, but also her toes.
She could never be stopped;
picks and spins like a top
till fin’ly she finds it, she flicks and it goes.
Sylllable count: 11 / 11 / 6 / 6 /11
NOTE: To our beloved Soupers, thank you for being a good sport and bearing with our extreme nonsenseThe above pic is owned by the Wulfman, who issued us the challenge of coming up with a limerick based on the pic Please be assured that while I fully enjoyed rising to the challenge, this does not mean that I have abandoned the more sensible writesFor any concerns, please, may I direct you to his office Love, Kim:-)
Please check John Wulf, Tim Smith and Jan Allison's take on the theme:
1http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/sometimes_things_687533
2http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/result_687536
3http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/johns_little_girl_limy_687557
4http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/green_meany___for_tim_smith_and_john_wulf_687590
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Poem Details | by
Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, body, girl,
Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.
Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.
But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.
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Poem Details | by
mike dailey |
Categories:
death, girl,
And then we have Red Riding Hood
That girl was sure up to no good
For she laid a trail
Her granny to nail
By a wolf as she knew he would
Then this little girl had the nerve
From everything I could observe
To have him done in
Because of his grin
She didn’t get what she deserved
No, she got her very own story
A heroine in all her glory
Instead of thanked
She should have been spanked
For it was a story too gory
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Poem Details | by
James Fraser |
Categories:
dance, flower, giggle, girlfriend,
Knock knock as she opens her front door
It's her beau whom now stands before
With a bouquet of flowers
All different colors
For his girl whom he loves and adores
After some chatting about this and that
What a scoff I'm gonna get fat
With a glass of white wine
I know I'll be fine
I think I've also eaten the place mat
Now recovered from our earlier meal
The music starts this songs our appeal
Well boy can she dance
Her beauties my trance
So delightful in glide genteel
It's now close to the end of our night
Knowing something is beautifully right
With a kiss on her lips
Her dress gracefully slips
Like a flash our engines ignite
Now sprawled out on her King sized bed
You can guess so much has been said
Two torsos have shared
So naked birth bared
Unification continues when wed
.
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Poem Details | by
James Fraser |
Categories:
funny
I know of a girl called Daisy
Whose wiggle sure isn't lazy
From left to right it swings
Making my heart sing
The images make me go crazy
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-5.php
|
Poem Details | by
Tom Wright |
Categories:
funny, engagement,
A Triple Limerick
About Harry
Written: by Tom Wright
8/6/2006
1
There once was a young man named Harry
Who had more money than he could carry?
His money he would not lend
Nor on frivolous things spend
Saying that job is for the girl I will marry
11
Then one-day Harry’s heart became broken
An engagement ring he offered as a token
I can’t accept she subtly said
For to another I’ll soon be wed
Harry left with his truck wheels “smokin”
111
He thought that this was surely his ending
His heart was broke in bad need of mending
So he bought a new Corvette
And now his ex was so upset
He had broken rule two regarding spending
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Poem Details | by
john williams |
Categories:
humorous,
A stunning woman, so beautiful and polite,
But causing concern, I'm thinking twice,
My girl puts my credit card to much use
Tantamount to severe financial abuse,
Although, I do enjoy her other vice.
|
Poem Details | by
Crystal Cross |
Categories:
for children, funny
I wrote this way back in sixth grade & I have been able to recite it since, actually the
only poem of mine that I actually have memorized, such a shame! anyways read on:
There once was a girl from mars
Who ate and ate candy bars
But then she got sick
And decided to lick
The mud of a small purple car
~we even had to illustrate it & everything, but so sorry I can't attach that one with it :)
*Thanks much for reading
|
Poem Details | by
KP Nunez |
Categories:
humorous,
There once was a girl named Bo
Her dad did not like her beau
So one day they eloped
But Bo’s dad dashed their hope
He sprang from behind with bolo.
*bolo - noun, a large, heavy, single-edged knife or machete for hacking, used in the Philippines and by the U.SArmy
CONTEST : SPRING FORWARD - 10th Place
SPONSOR : DEBBIE GUZZI
05 March 2015
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Poem Details | by
John Smith |
Categories:
family, joy,
There once was a girl by the name Joy
who got joy whenever she'd annoy
Her poor little brother
she swapped for another
Now; him, too, she would love to destroy.
|
Poem Details | by
Timothy Hicks |
Categories:
humorous, irony, jobs,
She said it so matter-o-factly,
that girl, Morgan Kay Ackley.
"One day it will be so
I'll be rolling in the dough!"
But being a pizza maker what do you mean exactly?
NOTE: This was another funny story at workNot exactly my joke, but I turned into a limerick for laughter's sakeA girl was telling me about how she's be famous one day..how she'll be "rolling in the dough"..and I was like, "aren't you doing that already?"..Ooohh good times they were..good times.
|
Poem Details | by
Martin Kloess |
Categories:
food, funny, girl, humor,
I ordered a large pizza pie
What do you want on it asked guy
His question a pearl
Set my mind awhirl
A sexy young girl answered I
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Poem Details | by
T Wignesan |
Categories:
humorous, girl, girl,
Limerick : Once a Little Girl and her Sister
Once a little girl and her sister
Went out for a walk in a bluster
Little girl lost her way
Big sister blew away
With a Mister who wore a whisker
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
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Poem Details | by
Keith Trestrail |
Categories:
boy, desire, growing up,
The girl next door my attention demands,
from my window I gaze her buxom glands.
When the moment I seize
it's at times such as these
I'm so glad I'm not Edward Scissorhands!
January 2016
|
Poem Details | by
Seren Roberts |
Categories:
humorous,
there was a young girl from Surrey
whose love life was all of a hurry
so went for sex advice
from a madam of vice
now can tease and tempt without worry
she has learnt the art of foreplay
hope he has the libido to stay
her tweaking and kisses
sure has no misses
has a smile on his face all day
his friends ask was it more than a kiss
said he can't disclose what it is
that has made his day
in a wonderful way
said his trembles and thrills were just bliss
penned Nov 3 2015
|
Poem Details | by
Kim Robin Edwards |
Categories:
lyric, society, world,
When I was young.I saw the light.
Saw the light of the morning sky.
You took my hand, when you came to me.
I stole a kiss, it just set me free.
'Cause people like you, make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
Round and round.Make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
Our days are short.Our nights are long.
Stay together with me, and we'll sing our song.
Keep your head up high.Keep your hands down low.
Stand next to me, and your heart will grow.
'Cause people like you, make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
Round and round.Make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
Time is still on my side, when you're next to me.
This is the place that you have to be.
Stay in one place.Stay next to me.
You are the only girl for me.
'Cause people like you, make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
Round and round.Make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
People like you.People like me.
People like you, make the world go round...
R & B Lyrics By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 1991,2014..ALL rights reserved..
|
Poem Details | by
Quentin Ehlinger |
Categories:
humorous,
There once was a girl named Janet
Who went everywhere on the planet
She danced in France
And then, by chance
Ended up on top of the granite
|
Poem Details | by
Warner Baxter |
Categories:
city, funny, girl, hilarious,
THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM FRANCE
WHO DANCED ON STAGE WITH NO PANTS
SHE SHOWED OFF HER TUSH
BUT NEVER HER BUSH
SHE LEFT THE CROWD IN A TRANCE
|
Poem Details | by
linda milgate |
Categories:
funny
There once was a girl named Shama
Who wondered about her karma
As a poet her rhymes
Were always out of time
To most her terza rima was trauma
Deborah's
limerick contest
|
Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
funny, love, language, language,
Did you hear about Don? What a guy!
On the pretty gals he had his eye.
But he had zero chance
with them allAt romance
he kept messing up, for he was shy.
In a language school Don then enrolled
where he learned words of love, I am told.
Of cute *senoritas
he’d ask for *besitas.
His tongue was becoming quite bold!
The language of his newest dear
he’d be whispering into her ear:
With “Jet’aime,” “Querido,”
“Kuss mich” or “Ti amo” -
Through all Europe he roamed without fear.
With his sweet words, he’d go on and on
till he tired of a girl and be gone.
And that’s how a guy
named Don, once so shy,
is now known as a famous *Don Juan.
*senoritas = young ladies (in Spanish)
*besitas = little kisses (in Spanish)
*Jet'aime = I love you (in French)
*Querido = My dear (in Spanish)
*Kuss mich = Kiss me (in German)
*Ti amo = "I love you (in Italian)
*Don Juan= name for a womanizer (Spanish/English)
For Debbie Guzzi's Bi-Lingual Poetry Contest
|
Poem Details | by
Shane Cooper |
Categories:
humor,
There was a pretty girl called Charlene
Who showered all day to stay clean
The hot water ran out
She gave a loud shout
And started swearing like a marine
|
Poem Details | by
Jimmy Anderson |
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend
The spring in my pants was so dandy.
She wanted to suck it like candy.
When she closed her eyes.
I gave my surprise.
Never saw a girl quite that handy!
For Francine Roberts "Wow me in 5 lines" contest
|
Poem Details | by
Amy Wensinger |
Categories:
humor,
I know a girl with raging hunger
Her stomach sounds like storming thunder
This girl just needs a snack
Before she starts to to smack
And begins acting like a drunkard
|
Poem Details | by
Tim Smith |
Categories:
nonsense,
There was a young man from the west
Saw a girl with a mighty fine chest
He asked for a peep
She called him a creep
Kicked him hard in the crotch...dang pest
|
Poem Details | by
Lindsay Laurie |
Categories:
nonsense,
I have gone and I’ve lost me girl Jane,
When she asked me for flowers again,
But she gave me the gong,
Dunno what I did wrong...
I brought her self-raising and plain.
|