Limerick Poems About Girls | Girl Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Anne Currin |
Categories: metaphor,

Looks Can Be Deceiving

There was a young girl whose silk skin
Was sewn up with some thread and a pin.
     It would drive the men mad,
     That sleek layer she had,
Well, until she took off her silk skin.

By Anne Currin


Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: abuse, betrayal, confusion, how

The Contest

(The Contest)

I once knew a gentle poet boy
Pretending to be the real McCoy
   He lost two in a row
   This is no game show
At the end, I felt used by the playboy


(The cold rain)

I wish I could take back the HM
Don't know why you chose to condemn
   I thought we were friends
   Now I see through crystal lens,
How you think all your poems are a top gem

(Not a reason to hate)

I once knew a girl with heavy makeup
Behind her smile, her face was corrupt 
   She was in it for the race
   Wanting all her poems to place
She did not win, now she's all worked up
    


SKAT


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humor,

Justice - A Parable

A woman gave birth to a son
named Justice; he had little fun.
If he wanted to play,
his mama would say,
“But only when Justice is done!”

Poor Justice, from morning till night,
tried hard to do everything right.
By the end of the day,
he still could not play,
for his time to do chores was so tight!

His life was a crime with no play!
We all know that crime doesn’t pay.
But were I in his shoes,
having paid all my dues,
I think I might just run away.

Well, sure enough, Justice did flee
and ended up in Tennessee.
With no place to belong,
he felt sad till along
came a girl who smiled tenderly.

Looking ragged, he asked (with some shame)
if the young girl would tell him her name.
“Can you guess?” said the Miss.
“Here’s a clueIt is this
Those who have me don’t take all the blame.”

The young man did not have a clue
what her name was; it was all new.
He’d never hear of
- yet soon grew to love -
this girl  and her charming name too.

Today Justice likes more his life
because this girl lessens his strife.
He learned her name well
when in love he fell
and Mercy he took for a wife!

For the Story Poem Contest Poetry Contest of Carol Eastman


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

Black-Water Blues

Diz Cajonne dey call Thibodaux
Paddle dis girl in his Pirogue
Den he see dem unmention
Dad tool stan at attention
She slap him stick HARD doncha' know

Dad pole shrink awful fas he yell whoa!
Sha, whad did you swat dad ting fo?
Now it at parade rest
Like diz bird in a nest
She-say-"I-scared-a'-dem-SNAKE-buddy-ohh!"

PD's contest


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funnywords,

The Fisher of Men

On the beach strolled a woman - ambitious!
She spied a man fishing - delicious!
“Ohhhh, your arms are so strong
and your rod is so long
I bet you catch hundreds of fishes!”

The fisherman looked with surprise
at this beautiful girl with blue eyes.
With words loved by men
she kept reeling him in,
for she always could spot a good prize!

Flirting words and a magical look
were her bait, and that’s all that it took!
The cute gal got her wish,
and if all men were fish,
all the best ones would be on her hook!



Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny,

What A Name

A good looking plumber named Marty Ridge,
Met the girl of his dreams near a pub fridge,
Even though very attracted to this plumber man,
Sue had to say no when asked for her hand,
She just couldn't  be known as, Sue Ridge.


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: food, funny,

Pumpkin Cake

There once was a girl from Arizona
Who could only fit in a kimona
She vowed to lose some weight
But loved all kinds of cake
Even drawn by pumpkin cake's aroma  

She vowed that she would be stronger
Would wear kimonos no longer
With cotton up her nose
From the table arose
Now in leggins she does saunter


Sponsor: Gwendolin R.
Contest:A Limerick In My Pocket


Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: funny,

REAL CEREAL -TRIX

 **REAL CEREAL TRIX**

This girl  Rio's, packed lunch in a cereal bowl

Her language almost sounds like espanol

Adding chocolate chunks to her munch

Funny how she ate, cinnamon toast crunch 

The real TRIX is to add corn, in anything, NIKKO!


hahha kidding!


dedicated to RIO~aka NIKKO


Poem Details | by Teppo Gren |
Categories: change, humor, woman,

A GUN IN HER POCKET

A GUN IN HER POCKET

I once knew a woman named Carrie
She was the kind of girl I’d marry
Touched the gun in her pocket
I shot off like a rocket
She had changed herself to be Larry

T.J Grén
2nd June, 2016


Poem Details | by James Marshall Goff |
Categories: funny

Her Prescription

with one foot short I was hamper’d
believin' my life was 'ncumber’d
when quite by surprise
'peared a girl with cross-eyes
and proclaim’d I was doctor order’d!



01/18/11
© All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by robert johnson |
Categories: fun,

Little Miss Fancy Font

A sweet little girl named Alex.
Always put words in italics.
Plain print wouldn't do.
So when she was through.
They were known as Alex Italics.


Poem Details | by niketa mckenzie |
Categories: funny, lost love, love,

One Night Stand

Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

DRUNK IN A BUNK - LIMERICK COLLABORATION - DO JOIN IN THE FUN

I once knew a woman called Terri Who always was sipping the sherry She got steaming drunk And fell off her bunk The medics described her as ‘merry’ WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON 20th October 2016 Still in her old knickers grinning Until the room started spinning Feeling not all right Spent from a great night Her troubles were just beginning WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH I heard she was also stacked Whenever she got racked On the top bunk who woulda thunk Sippin' sherry would get her untracked. WRITTEN BY JOHN WULF LIM'RIK FLATS So there she was a-reelin' Had the ER patients squealin’ Doc was quite put out! But never did shout Shot her more sherry, now she’s dreamin’ WRITTEN BY SAN WOO Her night on the tiles was made more so by a bottle or two Oloroso fell off her bunk ladder the poor girl she was bladdered and added a bruise to her Torso WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY Now Terri was off on a spree, the truth is she barely could see. She reached for the door, fell flat on the floor and screamed like an Irish banshee. WRITTEN BY KEITH LOGAN Terri swore she'd never get drunk again Until she met a handsome guy named Glen he shot her a wink and bought her a drink She's addicted to alcohol and men! WRITTEN BY LIN LANE Terri was known for being the town drunk Who would listen to heavy metal and punk She played it real loud And drew a big crowd But they didn't come close due to her pet skunk WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y Once I got drunk drinking all that Sherry With the voluptuous pretty Mary They found us both on the floor Just three yards away the door Her relatives said I had to marry WRITTEN BY DEMETRIOS TRIFIATIS This Terri gets quite inebriated If all these tales can be authenticated She gets drunk, listens to punk Sips Old Monk with her pet skunk Until she becomes quite nauseated WRITTEN BY TREY HAMNER Terri came India for few week Few days after she got seek No wine" team move her nice She takes pills with their advice Now Terry shines smart with red round cheek WRITTEN BY MANMATH DALEI The booze ran through Terri but she kept peeing as fast as can be The money ran out, She started to shout: "From now on I drink herbal tea!" WRITTEN BY DARREN WHITE


Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: friendship, sad

P.D. BYE

There’s a peach of a girl named P.D.
Who is a friend of both you and me
She’s gone away
I already miss her today
Her kind words and Queen Slam poetry



*If you find another sad limerick let me know*


Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: candy, children, forgiveness, halloween,

A Be-Witching Tale

smoke billowed from her boiling pot
a spell for ages she had sought
a special treat
for kids to eat
some pickled plums so teeth won't rot

but children laughed at what she made
to taste the swill they were afraid
the witch was sad
and got real mad
their taunts one day would be repaid

all hallows eve had come and went
a day the kids would soon resent
a curse was laid
the children paid
their treats turned into hard cement

they moaned and wept and some did cry
asking questions and pleading why
they were upset
with no regret
wishing that witch would surely die

now this is what I have been told
the days have passed and I am old
one girl returned
her lesson learned
and turned a heart to warm from cold


**it is never to late to say you are sorry*






Poem Details | by Richard Olson |
Categories: humorous,

A Cannibal Named Larry

              A cannibal I knew named Larry,
              was the captain of his own private ferry.
              He circled the sound,
              whenever in town.
              His stomach wouldn't tolerate dairy.

              One day this vegan named Nancy,
              became the girl that Larry did fancy.
              They stopped after wine,
              whenever they'd dine,
              as the meal grew evermore chancy.

              With their dietary habits at odds,
              Larry gave up pursuing warm bods.
              He tried eating green,
              but found it obscene.
              So he tried catching fish with some rods.

              One day, Larry fell in the sea
              where a great white just happened to be.
              The shark had no plate,
              but smiled as he ate.
              The man who had flesh with his tea.

              His girl just wallowed in grief,
              when she heard what had swallowed her beef.
              She found Larry's boat,
              along with a note,
              and a map to the "Great Barrier Reef."

              With a harpoon, and the map, by her side,
              she went on one helluva ride.
              She found the great white,
              beaded her sight,
              and shot the harpoon as she cried.

             "Oh what have you done with my man?"
              She said as she stuck to her plan.
              She pulled the shark out,
              and just like a trout,
              filleted it, and made it with bran.

              She wondered what Larry would say,
              if he could see what she was eating today.
              And just like a dream
              came his eye with her scream,
              from the stomach that got in her way.

              She felt so completely ashamed,
              as Larry watched so terribly maimed.
              All he did was stare,
              at his girl once fair.
              More than shark, it was her that he blamed.

                             Written:  11/23/16
             (Posted the following day on Thanksgiving)
             (To be read allowed just prior to the meal)


Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: girlfriend,

Miss Wrong with plenty of Baggage

I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all night...

for the Baggage contest


Poem Details | by MC MC |
Categories: funny,

There Once was a Girl Named Lilly

There once was a girl named Lilly
who often liked to be silly
she put a spoon upon her nose
then she wrote a bit o' prose
and called it mexican chilly !


Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: introspection,

Slick Limerick

Note: A.ga.pe is three syllables.

John Moses assumed he was doing well. You know only the absolute can tell. His Agape, copy, ranked totally sloppy, At the gate Peter said, ”what’s that I smell?’ `T was certain girl from our poetry soup, The one not in love with heavenly group, from behind me she snickered, and with Peter she bickered. This is the total stinky pooh…err… scoop! ================== ==================PS "Just Kidding" For and in Honor of Poet Destroyer And Contest: Slick Limerick


Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: fantasy, funny, snow,

Snow White Retold

There once was a girl named Snow White,
Of a poisoned apple she took a bite.
Seven dwarves found her sleeping,
And they began weeping.
Who would fix their supper tonight?

Only one thing could save this fair miss,
A prince must give her a kiss.
There was no time to waste,
So the dwarves they made haste,
To find a prince for their miss.

A prince showed up the next day,
And the dwarves they did not delay.
They showed him Snow White,
Told him of her plight,
Then said, "Kiss her, then be on your way."

The prince gazed down on her face,
And his heart started to race.
What a beautiful maid,
Yes, she must be saved!
To refuse would be a disgrace.

He bent and kissed her awake.
One kiss was all it did take.
They stared at each other,
The dwarves said, "Oh brother!"
"We may have made a mistake."

To the prince they said, "Listen here!"
"We want to be perfectly clear."
"Snow White belongs to us,
So don't raise a fuss,
Or you'll get a swift kick in the rear!"

Snow White was quick to object.
"Now boys, let's show some respect.
The prince saved my life,
And I'll gladly be his wife.
What else could you possibly expect?"

The prince said, "Hey, don't worry guys.
You won't have to say your good-byes.
You can live in the castle,
It won't be a hassle.
Cross my heart, I'm telling no lies."

So Snow White and her prince tied the knot,
And they honey-mooned on a great yacht.
The dwarves stayed behind
And at the castle they dined.
All in all they were pleased with their lot.


Poem Details | by Shane Cooper |
Categories: friendship, heartbreak,

BLOCKED

I once knew a girl who lived far away,
Who told me a fairy tale one sunny day,
We would be friends for evermore,
I would never be shown the door, 
I called her my friend but she wouldn’t stay,

The story is over the finish less than gay,
The fact is my life has been put in disarray,
Best friends an oath she swore,
But that doesn’t count anymore,
The pain I feel will end soon I hope and pray, 


Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: adventure, animal, crazy, hilarious,

Girl From Nantucket

I once knew a girl from Nantucket 
Who chased down a goose, just to pluck it
As she ran, took a spill
So he gave her a quill
And I guess we all know, where he stuck it


Just not clean enough for contests---lol


Poem Details | by Huberta van Akkeren |
Categories: life,

A simple truth

There once was a girl from a grotto
Who lived with a very short motto
Live and let live
Be happy to give
Life’s joy is not winning the lotto


Poem Details | by Heather Ober |
Categories: humorous,

Quite a Worry

There once was a girl named Miss Curry
Whose brows always caused quite a worry.
She went to the spa
To have them waxed raw  
And now they're not nearly so furry.


Entered in Andrea's "Show Me the Funny" contest


Poem Details | by Owen Yeates |
Categories: girl, dad, dad,

Freya

A young girl called Freya it’s said
Had ginger hair all over her head
Her dad of her was fond
He said it’s strawberry blond
Not ginger and certainly not red


Our nieces daughter is Ginger haired but her dad is adamant she is not so wrote this for him.


Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: children, humor, nonsense,

SOMETIMES THINGS II

There’s this little girl who just picks on her nose

not only with fingers, but also her toes.

She could never be stopped;

picks and spins like a top

till fin’ly she finds it, she flicks and it goes.





Sylllable count: 11 / 11 / 6 / 6 /11

NOTE: To our beloved Soupers, thank you for being a good sport and bearing with our extreme nonsenseThe above pic is owned by the Wulfman,  who issued us the challenge of coming up with a limerick based on the pic Please be assured that while I fully enjoyed rising to the challenge, this does not mean that I have abandoned the more sensible writesFor any concerns, please, may I direct you to his office Love, Kim:-)

Please check John Wulf, Tim Smith and Jan Allison's take on the theme:

1http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/sometimes_things_687533
2http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/result_687536
3http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/johns_little_girl_limy_687557
4http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/green_meany___for_tim_smith_and_john_wulf_687590


Poem Details | by Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, body, girl,

Birds -N- Bees

Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.


Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: death, girl,

Little Red Riding Hood

And then we have Red Riding Hood
That girl was sure up to no good
For she laid a trail
Her granny to nail
By a wolf as she knew he would

Then this little girl had the nerve
From everything I could observe
To have him done in
Because of his grin
She didn’t get what she deserved

No, she got her very own story
A heroine in all her glory
Instead of thanked
She should have been spanked
For it was a story too gory 


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny

Like a Duck's Wiggle

I know of a girl called Daisy
Whose wiggle sure isn't lazy
From left to right it swings
Making my heart sing
The images make me go crazy









http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-5.php


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: dance, flower, giggle, girlfriend,

More Than Dinner Was Served

Knock knock as she opens her front door It's her beau whom now stands before With a bouquet of flowers All different colors For his girl whom he loves and adores After some chatting about this and that What a scoff I'm gonna get fat With a glass of white wine I know I'll be fine I think I've also eaten the place mat Now recovered from our earlier meal The music starts this songs our appeal Well boy can she dance Her beauties my trance So delightful in glide genteel It's now close to the end of our night Knowing something is beautifully right With a kiss on her lips Her dress gracefully slips Like a flash our engines ignite Now sprawled out on her King sized bed You can guess so much has been said Two torsos have shared So naked birth bared Unification continues when wed .


Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: humorous,

SPRING SURPRISE

There once was a girl named Bo
Her dad did not like her beau 
So one day they eloped
But Bo’s dad dashed their hope
He sprang from behind with bolo.









*bolo - noun, a large, heavy, single-edged knife or machete for hacking, used in the   Philippines and by the U.SArmy

CONTEST : SPRING FORWARD - 10th Place
SPONSOR : DEBBIE GUZZI
05 March 2015


Poem Details | by Tom Wright |
Categories: funny, engagement,

A Triple Limerick About Harry

A Triple Limerick About Harry Written: by Tom Wright 8/6/2006 1 There once was a young man named Harry Who had more money than he could carry? His money he would not lend Nor on frivolous things spend Saying that job is for the girl I will marry 11 Then one-day Harry’s heart became broken An engagement ring he offered as a token I can’t accept she subtly said For to another I’ll soon be wed Harry left with his truck wheels “smokin” 111 He thought that this was surely his ending His heart was broke in bad need of mending So he bought a new Corvette And now his ex was so upset He had broken rule two regarding spending


Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: humorous, irony, jobs,

Daydreaming at the Pizzeria

She said it so matter-o-factly,
that girl, Morgan Kay Ackley.
"One day it will be so
I'll be rolling in the dough!"
But being a pizza maker what do you mean exactly?



NOTE: This was another funny story at workNot exactly my joke, but I turned into a limerick for laughter's sakeA girl was telling me about how she's be famous one day..how she'll be "rolling in the dough"..and I was like, "aren't you doing that already?"..Ooohh good times they were..good times.


Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: family, joy,

Joy


There once was a girl by the name Joy   
who got joy whenever she'd annoy 
Her poor little brother 
she swapped for another 
Now; him, too, she would love to destroy.


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: humorous,

High Maintenance Woman

A stunning woman, so beautiful and polite,
But causing concern, I'm thinking twice,
My girl puts my credit card to much use
Tantamount to severe financial abuse,
Although, I do enjoy her other vice.


Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: food, funny, girl, humor,

Now What Do You Want On Your Pizza

I ordered a large pizza pie
What do you want on it asked guy
His question a pearl
Set my mind awhirl
A sexy young girl answered I


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, girl, girl,

Limerick: Once a Little Girl and her Sister

Limerick : Once a Little Girl and her Sister

Once a little girl and her sister
Went out for a walk in a bluster
Little girl lost her way
Big sister blew away
With a Mister who wore a whisker

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013


Poem Details | by Crystal Cross |
Categories: for children, funny

Girl from Mars

I wrote this way back in sixth grade & I have been able to recite it since, actually the
only poem of mine that I actually have memorized, such a shame! anyways read on:

There once was a girl from mars
Who ate and ate candy bars
But then she got sick
And decided to lick
The mud of a small purple car

~we even had to illustrate it & everything, but so sorry I can't attach that one with it :) 

*Thanks much for reading


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: boy, desire, growing up,

Confessions of a Teenage Boy 2

The girl next door my attention demands,
from my window I gaze her buxom glands.
  When the moment I seize
  it's at times such as these
I'm so glad I'm not Edward Scissorhands!


             January 2016


              


Poem Details | by Seren Roberts |
Categories: humorous,

Trembles and Thrills

there was a young girl from Surrey
whose love life was all of a hurry
so went for sex advice
from a madam of vice
now can tease and tempt without worry

she has learnt the art of foreplay
hope he has the libido to stay
her tweaking and kisses
sure has no misses
has a smile on his face all day

his friends ask was it more than a kiss
said he can't disclose what it is
that has made his day
in a wonderful way
said his trembles and thrills were just bliss


penned Nov 3 2015


Poem Details | by Kim Robin Edwards |
Categories: lyric, society, world,

People Like You

When I was young.I saw the light.
Saw the light of the morning sky.
You took my hand, when you came to me.
I stole a kiss, it just set me free.

'Cause people like you, make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
Round and round.Make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.

Our days are short.Our nights are long.
Stay together with me, and we'll sing our song.
Keep your head up high.Keep your hands down low.
Stand next to me, and your heart will grow.

'Cause people like you, make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
Round and round.Make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.

Time is still on my side, when you're next to me.
This is the place that you have to be.
Stay in one place.Stay next to me.
You are the only girl for me.

'Cause people like you, make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.
Round and round.Make the world go round.
People like you, make the world go round.

People like you.People like me.
People like you, make the world go round...

R & B Lyrics By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 1991,2014..ALL rights reserved..


Poem Details | by linda milgate |
Categories: funny

Shama's Dilemma limerick

There once was a girl named Shama
Who wondered about her karma
As a poet her rhymes
Were always out of time
To most her terza rima was trauma








Deborah's
limerick contest


Poem Details | by Warner Baxter |
Categories: city, funny, girl, hilarious,

A Girl from france

THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM FRANCE WHO DANCED ON STAGE WITH NO PANTS SHE SHOWED OFF HER TUSH BUT NEVER HER BUSH SHE LEFT THE CROWD IN A TRANCE


Poem Details | by Quentin Ehlinger |
Categories: humorous,

Janet

There once was a girl named Janet
Who went everywhere on the planet
She danced in France
And then, by chance
Ended up on top of the granite


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, love, language, language,

Multilingual in Love

Did you hear about Don? What a guy! On the pretty gals he had his eye. But he had zero chance with them allAt romance he kept messing up, for he was shy. In a language school Don then enrolled where he learned words of love, I am told. Of cute *senoritas he’d ask for *besitas. His tongue was becoming quite bold! The language of his newest dear he’d be whispering into her ear: With “Jet’aime,” “Querido,” “Kuss mich” or “Ti amo” - Through all Europe he roamed without fear. With his sweet words, he’d go on and on till he tired of a girl and be gone. And that’s how a guy named Don, once so shy, is now known as a famous *Don Juan. *senoritas = young ladies (in Spanish) *besitas = little kisses (in Spanish) *Jet'aime = I love you (in French) *Querido = My dear (in Spanish) *Kuss mich = Kiss me (in German) *Ti amo = "I love you (in Italian) *Don Juan= name for a womanizer (Spanish/English) For Debbie Guzzi's Bi-Lingual Poetry Contest


Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Emmmmm Good

The spring in my pants was so dandy.
She wanted to suck it like candy.
When she closed her eyes.
I gave my surprise.
Never saw a girl quite that handy!


For Francine Roberts "Wow me in 5 lines" contest


Poem Details | by Shane Cooper |
Categories: humor,

The Shower





There was a pretty girl called Charlene
Who showered all day to stay clean
The hot water ran out
She gave a loud shout
And started swearing like a marine



Poem Details | by Amy Wensinger |
Categories: humor,

Hungry Girl

I know a girl with raging hunger
Her stomach sounds like storming thunder
This girl just needs a snack
Before she starts to to smack
And begins acting like a drunkard 




Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: nonsense,

The Pest

There was a young man from the west
Saw a girl with a mighty fine chest
He asked for a peep
She called him a creep
Kicked him hard in the crotch...dang pest


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: nonsense,

Flowers

I have gone and I’ve lost me girl Jane,
When she asked me for flowers again,
But she gave me the gong,
Dunno what I did wrong...
I brought her self-raising and plain.