Jack might be a wee bit scarce till next month
There's millions of things to think about all at once
We're moving and so
My replies may be slow
I'm sure you will hear my groans and my grunts
© Jack Ellison 2015
" I am sorry!" as I told you before.
You keep saying that I must do more.
Should I break down and cry?
Should I curl up and die?
Either way- you still walk out the door.
I once met a man from the west
And invited him home as my guest
I told of the cross
He cried, "I am lost!"
Then repented and God gave him rest
Beautiful Linda became a nun,
prayed in the Chapel forgiving John
who swore her faithfulness
with very solemn words...
she did not know that he was a con!
Have a penchant for the old foot-in-mouth disease
Been afflicted since us guys came down from the trees
Never learned I guess
It caused me much stress
Trying to make amends with words to appease
Men were made in God’s immortal image
But were lured into serpent’s cruel cage;
Christ bought redemption
From eternal damnation,
For the sinner who wants to be a sage.
This day it was all in good taste...
And not a moment of time did I waste
I shouted out loud
To the whole of the crowd
"Jesus will save you, make haste!"
I'm late I'm late.
Late for a date.
Sorry I am cappucino minus the foam.
Don't think I was out there to roam.
Only baristas guess this is my fate.
Then come'st thou to thine peer,
Pray the fluid from the ear,
Then followeth thy friend to shoreline,
Unless counte thee the bathe wine,
Fie! Forgiveness not come near.
Take the word “TRUMP”, reverse it and change a few letters
You get “PERVURT” sorry couldn't come up with anything better
Not appropriate for a shitting prez
But it's free speech the constitution sez
It's changing a lot of yankees into a bunch of bed wetters
A man named Jesus was heard to say
I am The Life, The Truth, and The Way
No greater word
May ever be heard
Will you accept Him today?
A teasing elf named McWhistle McMack
Nearly spoiled Santa’s plan by stealing his sack.
Stole away with the toys
For most girls and all boys
Sweet forgiveness given when he came back.
Contest: Christmas Limerick
Written 11-30-2018 Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
Had my very first bashing but on another site
My lim wasn't appreciated, apologized for my slight
Perhaps a bit uptight
Maybe just had a fight
My record's blemished till they turn out my lights
The object of my affection without exception
Is rhyming words of silliness but sometimes conception
The latter here's taboo
So here's what I'll do
Combine witty and naughties, quite a devious deception
Adam and Eve sneaked back to the Garden
Hoping to earn for their sin a pardon
Eve saw the damn snake
And began to quake
Snapped snake: "Out of this garden you're barred in."
Against God and Adam, Eve had a peeve
Before their sin, she'd nothing up her sleeve
They both took a hit
But Eve threw a fit
Adam's cloth was from the same weave as Eve's
God Gladly Enter
I must pray, ask for forgiveness and be a repenter
And of all my attention allow God to be in center;
Urge me on;
Him pray upon;
Then into me and my being He will gladly enter.
Have Received God's Blessing
After all our sins we had been confessing,
And then we would receive God's blessing,
What dirty devil did should be detesting.
Read Bible In Print
Read Bible In print and we did perceive,
Always in God we must have to believe;
We sat on pew;
Forgiveness from all sins we will receive.