Limerick Poems About Football | Football Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: age, body, humorous, men,

THE MALE MENOPAUSE - please feel free to join in the collaboration

Ted’s libido has now gone astray He refused a quick roll in the hay So what could be the cause - It’s the male menopause He’s been grumpy and snappy all day! His testosterone levels have dropped Many Viagra pills he has popped He drops one in his tea It will keep his cookie Standing up straight whenever it flopped By jingo, Ted’s put on so much weight It’s not down to the lunches he ate His once perfect tush Has now turned to mush Ted should diet before it’s too late His middle aged paunch has been spreading Can’t fit in the suit from his wedding He once was so hot Now he’s gone to pot And now I hear he wets his bedding Ted’s developing male breasts, I see So I renamed them "moobies," tee hee They stick out so far He needs a 'man bra' If measured - he’d be bigger than me! Ted’s losing all the hair on his head (It’s sprouting from his nostrils instead) With long hairs in his ear Poor Ted can hardly hear And he braids it when he goes to bed BY JAN ALLISON 8/4/18 Mister T has trouble finding his ding dong I have to laugh even though I know it's wrong He's nothing but a wimp Now that his parts are limp Bet he knows where it all started to go wrong WRITTEN BY LIN LANE Ted is anxiously awaiting his date A beautiful blond he met out of state took blue pills from his pocket to help rev up his rocket but he wonders if she would rather wait WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN "I'm so sorry"Apologised Ted To his wife, as they lay in their bed It's not you that's the cause It's that male menopause "Do you fancy a cocoa instead". WRITTEN BY RICHARD D SEAL Well the doc said “you need exercise”, So it’s football today with the guys, Roger yells “on me head!” “Well I could do,” says Ted, “What’s the point though, when everything dies?” WRITTEN BY NINA PARMENTER That male menopause can be iffy, do more than just cost you your stiffy. You've no more will to jerk; it's just way to much work, but you'll write new haiku in a jiffy! WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Ted had a problem didn't know the cause his mate told him it's the manopause advised him to see Bill to purchase a blue pill Bill said this will amuse her indoors Ted asked his wife not to sneer or mock when he told her it was such a shock he had tried a blue pill to give her a big thrill worked too well its now a stumbling block. WRITTEN BY ROY PETT She burst into the room and caught Ted lying naked, aroused on the bed thought that she was the reason that he was now 'in season' not brochures for a new garden shed WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY There a was guy named Ted,that was cool He would make all the young ladies drool Now he’s married and limp And he resembles a blimp The “lift” tanked and the Mrs thinks his a fool WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y The male menopause caught up with old Ted He's no longer the stallion in bed But now he takes a little pill Before he goes in for the kill Now his poor wife just lays there full of dread WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM Ted used to be good in the sack. `Til he started smoking that crack. Now his wife`s had enough and she`s left in a huff and picked up a spare with Jack. WRITTEN BY CHARLIE KNOWLTON His wife asked, "Ted what's the cause" He replied, "tis the male menopause, I was embarrassed to mention It won't stand to attention" I'm afraid you've been clutching at straws." WRITTEN BY GARY SMITH Ted loved his "kit-and-kaboodle", Kept it clipped like a champion poodle But a glitch in his gland.. Meant the thing wouldn't stand So it hung from his gut.like a noodle. WRITTEN BY GREGORY R BARDEN
IF YOU WANT TO JOIN IN THE FUN PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME ANY POEMS TO BE ADDED


Poem Details | by Chris Matt |
Categories: school, sports

High School Football-Favorite Sport

Under the lights on Friday night.
High school football starting to ignite.
Merciless to everyone.
This is war, not for fun.
Winning state is a beautiful sight.


Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: sports,

The Big Football Game

The Big Football Game

By Elton Camp

For the game Ralph had the dough

So tickets he hunted to and fro

The party liquor splashed

Ralph ended up smashed

Thus, to the game, he forgot to go


Poem Details | by Mitch White |
Categories: life, sports, sympathy,

Joe Who?


The ball was loose and bouncing
Joe dove towards it, just missing
The clock ticking down
Just then, Joe had found
His football skills were lacking


Poem Details | by Robert Pettit |
Categories: history, sports

The AFL-NFL Championship Game

The first game was played in California;
LA Coliseum the arena.
Here, you may have a doubt.
The game was not sold out.
This is just some more useless trivia.

The Packers were led by Vince Lombardi.
Hank Stram brought his Chiefs from Kansas City.
In this football showdown
from this West Coast town,
the team from Green Bay won the first trophy.


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, sports, football,

Football Mania Victim's Hysteria

“Woe is me,” when football season closes
Crimson Tide lost in a sea of roses
     Tampa Bucs, Tide, Seminoles
     To “off” my remote just strolls
I’ll use TM for football osmosis

My Coach Bowden-signed football is glass-encased
How do I endure the trauma I’ve faced?
     With my pompoms cast aside
     “Six-month drought!” I cried
“It would hurt less to have my face replaced.”



*Entry for Susan’s “Drama Queen” contest.


Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: sports, football, time,

It's Iron Bowl Time in Alabama

It’s Iron Bowl Time in Alabama

By Elton Camp

Watching football may be okay

Even following it, play-by-play 

However, I say, “Ho, hum”

Don’t care about the outcome

For I will use my time another way



(For readers outside Alabama, this refers to the extreme fanaticism so often seen here about the football teams of the University of Alabama and Auburn University People who have attended neither school get all upset over it and tend to build their lives around the fortunes of the two teams I think that’s going way too far about a dangerous child’s game.)



Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: adventure, confusion, funnyfootball,

Airwave Pandemonium

With my recorder I pursued my quest
This assignment seemed like a courage test
     That’s why my boss sent me
     Knowing that fearless I’d be
Covering this race brought such happiness

Hundreds of hot air balloons in the sky
Conducted the interview one mile high
     But now as I reflect     
     What I didn’t expect
Was the loud blast that made the balloon fly

I thought it would be quiet as we flew
Over Doak Stadium up in the blue
     The radio report
     Ended up running short
When the pilot spoke, the hot air did spew

Every thirty seconds or so -- a blast
Interview literally filled with gas
     The edited version
     From this fun excursion
Left our radio listeners aghast

But viewing Chief Osceola’s emblem
From high above the football stadium
     A sight I’ll not forget
     I have just one regret
Creating airwave pandemonium



* As a radio reporter I was assigned to cover the Tallahassee Annual Hot Air Balloon 
Race We flew over Florida State University’s football stadium and it was a great 
view from the air But I had to edit out each blast of air when producing the report 
for Florida Public Radio Talk about a choppy radio report I should have 
interviewed the pilot BEFORE we took off Duh!  Ignorance was my plea to the 
news director -- I was later sentenced to ground duty.
     

July 20, 2011
Entry for Francine’s “Happiness is a Balloon” contest
Written by Carolyn Devonshire


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, sportsme, time,

From the Underside (Chair Speak Limericks)

Why is it you never show me your face?
My feelings are hurt, so you I’ll replace!
     Find another on which to pounce
     Each time your team takes a bad bounce
The damage you’ve done cannot be erased

Even my fine leather is marred with grooves
From all your fanatic football fan moves
     Get off your duff, I must rebuff
     You’ve made my lining far too rough
Each time you move, I hope the team will lose

I have already called a moving van
To transport me to a gentler land
     Where people of grace sip green tea
     Pontificating times that be
By dawn in my place you’ll find the trash can


Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, business, dedication, education,

Let's Get Ready For Some Football

<                                   let's get ready for some football...   Ya !
                                     Eagles   verses    da  ...  Bears   Well.then  Hey !       
                                     Here's kickoff ~ by     da.....   Bears
                                     Ohhhhhhhh !  fell  off.. T ...   Unfair
                                     Second ...blocked ... Eagles    7 - Nay !


                                                                      
                                     
                                     
                                    

                                    
Entry For 
Linda Marie's 
Let's Limerick Contest
G.LAll    



Tribute To Football


Poem Details | by Amy Wensinger |
Categories: football, humor, sports,

Cleveland Fan

I know of a football team called the Browns
They are the laughing stock of many towns
While their players get smoked
Their Dawg Pound fans get toked
And each week they earn their nickname of Clowns

But I am their fan and I'll always cheer
Through fumbles and losses I'll never veer
I'll keep my head raised high
I'll love them 'til I die
Because after all, there's always next year


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Contact Sport



Once knew a lad who called himself Brad From a very young age Brad was football mad Till one day a sweet Miss Gave Brad a big kiss The best contact sport that Brad ever had © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Jackie Elston |
Categories: football,

He's football mad

                                        

                               He's football crazy, he's football mad
                                 when season's gone wont l be glad
                                 l knew my fate when married him
                                    THAT passion, l'd hoped
                                       was just a whim !!

ps l do love him dearly though lol


Poem Details | by Richard Pickett |
Categories: pets, sports,

Rah,Rah Jackson

There is a Pug dog named Jackson
and college football is his game,
with no time to spare
he's up in his chair,
to watch his favorite team Notre Dame 


Poem Details | by Caryl Muzzey |
Categories: sports

Crimison Tide Lunatic

I am a Crimison Tide lunatic,
I watch football rather than a flick.
Drop, tumble with a ball,
diving catch, watch them fall,
wonder what they will do for a stick

Copyright © 2010  By Caryl SMuzzey

Ninth Place Winner ~ "Lets Limerick” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Linda-Marie The Sweetheart of P.S.
Nov15, 2010


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: life, sports

Football - A Game Of Life

Just like a football I am kicked aroun'

   I refuse to let such things get me down

      I shall e'er keep in sight

         And strive with all my might

            To press toward the goal to claim my crown

Entry for kristen bruni's "Football" contest


Poem Details | by Andrew Battaglino |
Categories: funny, humor,

Football Fan




There once was a football fan from Philly
     Who was known for being very silly
      During the Eagles Super Bowl win
      He dipped his chicken wings in gin
   And gulped down Bud Light, dilly dilly


Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, business, dedication, fantasy,

Just For Kicks

<             just like football i am like the queen
               now hand over remote or i'll scream
               black and blue division
               on my television
               Kicking Jay Cutlers butt I do dream









Entry For
Kristen Bruni's 
Football Contest
G.LAll


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: england, football, humor, military,

Limerick crochetes: Once Warrior Fifteen from down under

Limerick crochetés: Once Warrior Fifteen from down under

Once Warrior Fifteen from down under
Trained so hard Hakka to outclap thunder
	Scared s..t off rivals
	To reach the Finals
At Twitch-in-Ham where Prince roared like Pauper

Anthems sweet lulled the cheery spectator
World hushed to watch Black Hakka Warrior
	Earth shook hearts thumped shrieked gulls
	Petrified spell-bound rivals
Warrior lungs burst Cup won by neither

Big-money football magnates cheered together
At last World will look up to footballer
	American rivals
	Or Pelé-fan Bra-zil’s
Hakka now sole weapon of US soldier

© TWignesan – Paris,  2015


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: sports

Thanks to BYU & the 70's

There’s Steve YoungOh, and Namath could score
Both in football as well as “Amor.”
Well, that’s just about all
I know about football.
YupI can’t think of anything more.



For Linda-Marie's Contest: "Let's Limerick"
Theme: Football


Poem Details | by Tahera Mannan |
Categories: sports

Super Bowl Abroad

Afghanistan in football fever
Airborne division lose cover
To cheer from abroad
They won't hit the board
A rest for radio receiver


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: gender, humorous,

I WISH - NOT FOR CONTEST

I wish that I was a born a man I‘d drink beer straight out of a can I’d play football and darts Laugh about smelly farts And not bother about a spray tan My motor would be very flash A Ferrari would cost lots of cash I would not have a care About my balding hair I’m loaded, can afford to be brash I’d develop a really cool swagger Strut about like singer Mick Jagger With my huge beer belly I’d lounge by the telly If wifey moaned then I’d just bag er! Fiction write Inspired by I wish I was a Contest Sponsored by Viv Wigley 3/5/18


Poem Details | by Michelle Faulkner |
Categories: confusion, funny, riddle, word

Cougar Fan

The older woman suddenly beams
When the young man says they are his dream
Thinking he's a fan
She flashes her cans
But his T-shirt reads, 'Cougars Football Team.'


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Brenda Sheri Baby and Chim Shim Cherie

Brenda Chim Chim Cherie;
Chimney happy as can be.

While my many poems I am compiling, 
What you should be doing is smiling; 
Mind with load,
Can corrode;
Others may be fooling and beguiling.

Fatality A Reality

Last second was  only a formality;
Finality ended up  being a fatality,
And the last stance;
Mere happenstance;
That would become a total reality.

Procedure involved in finality
of a football game.

Jim Horn

PSLike new format of Poetry Soup.

I still have almost 5,000 characters remaining.
Suppose I went back and tried to combine all
of my poems into 5,000 character pagesThat
would be a challengeBesides, you could take
many of my poems and change the names in 
them and apply the poems to someone else.
You could change Hillary and Trump to someone 
else you either like or dislike.

My poems  have humor and hilarity;
Are distinguished by their disparity;
Good and pure,
And will endure;
Should contribute them to a charity.

Hard To Bare the Pain

Did find it hard to bare all the pain,
So you thought I should entertain,
And when poem is over and done,
Together we can have a lot of fun.

Laughter is just like a little leaf;
At first was found full of grief;
Had started floating high in air,
And below saw country so fair.

Returned back into the ground;
And with love he was drowned;
Like dirt himself would disguise;
All around he started to fertilize.

Was such a pretty ongoing scene;
Safe, sane secure and also serene;
Have become one of the big bores;
Best poems written are always yours.

Jim Horn

GadsOver 10 again and I wasn't
even tryingWith all the rules I
am complyingWonder how much 
more writing effort I would have to
exert to complete 5,000 characters.
Has anyone ever done that before?

After what appeared as much minusion, 
They started having another revolution,
Many tries;
Win a prize;
Trying to find out if Li Po was a Lilliputian

Analyzed using in and out and within between;
Li Po and suction sure created such a scene;
Jack Sprat, 
With much fat;
The object was to determine how obscene.

Jim Horn 


Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: age, dad, football,

RUNNING MEMORIES

My dear dad’s wearing his letter jacket,
Running football in his ageless bracket.
Stars in his eyes not too wise.
Mama sees through his disguise.
Open arms, she intercepts his racket.

6/20/2018