They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick
To the diner Mac went for a meal
Where he ordered two helpings of veal.
All he had was one dime
Could not pay! What a crime!
Washing-up was the fairest MacDeal
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sponsor: Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer
© 2nd June 2017
He phoned the village bakery
And ordered a delivery
Loads and loads of tasty pies
Ate them all but at a price
He spent the night in misery.
Contest: Plentitude of Pies
Sponsor: Sheri Fresonke Harper
Today it is Thanksgiving Day
For all dead turkey’s I do pray
That you had a good life
Now you’re carved with a knife
Served on a plate as the entrée
Have a great Thanksgiving folks!
26th November 2015
I’m trying a new ‘see food’ diet
I’d recommend that you all try it
Any food will do
Nothing’s bad for you..
It's no wonder my trousers don’t fit!
Written 18th February
Posted on 23rd February
Block of Neapolitan Ice Cream;
to my diet, a scream in a dream
and vanilla; very
delicious Then I bust out a seam
When at home its often fast food I crave,
might even be leftovers that I saved,
always in a race,
open and shut case,
thank God for my nuke everything microwave!
Waking up for school was hard enough,
still half asleep not ready for the bus,
breakfast on the dot,
snap, crackle and pop,
noisy Rice Krispy's helping us wake up.
My sister likes to doodle
I thought she drew a noodle
She gave me a glare
And tugged at my hair
And told me t'was a poodle.
Chocolate goes straight to the heart
Its the Food of Love off the chart
But truth be told
It makes Jan bold
To squeeze out a real skunky fart
The Boston Tea Party was hip
Until Jan herself let one rip
The tea went first
The Captain cursed
And the crew cried, "Abandon ship!"
There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable
My elderly auntie named Dot
her memory’s going to pot
For she served me raw food
and was totally nude
A dinner I’ve never forgot
In my soup I could have sworn I saw a shark.
Swimming in roux that was rather dark.
But to my relief,
the fin a bay leaf.
Now I wear glasses before each meal I start.
There was a man named Fred
Who liked eating baked beans in bed
One day when he farted
He and his wife parted
'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said Fred.
Ice cream is a delicious delight,
I eat it most every night.
That's probably why,
My weight is so high,
But I won't stop eating one bite.
Extra nutty and thick
A treat with a positive stick
Why am I such a fool?
These dentures I'm bound to lose!
A cup of milk, please make it quick!
There once was a lady named Vickie,
Whose eating habits were quite picky.
She preferred her sweet treats,
To vegetables and meats,
Saying, "Healthy foods are just too icky!"
(based on a true story)
There was a young fellow named Tony,
Who wouldn't eat his macaroni.
He hollered out, "Hey,
Take this slop food away.
Just bring me a stick of baloney."
Written; November 14, 2014
I went on vacation to Hell,
The hotel was hot, with a smell,
And The Devil was rude,
When I toyed with my food:
He cooked all the dinners as well.
For Carolyn’s Vacation contest
There was an old man on a cart,
Acquaintances knew him as Bart,
As he only ate beans,
He inflated his jeans,
And smelt of a permanent fart…
Inspired by She’s Like the Wind (which I misheard as She’s Got the Wind, lol)
For Giorgio’s A Song Inspires a Poem contest
Oh, vermicelli, rigatoni!
Lost on a sea of minestrone
The sea beneath my feet,
And nothing else to eat,
I live on cheese and macaroni.
This old sea-rig is swamped and don't float
I TOLD you we'd need a bigger boat!
Now you are HIS prize
Sure ain't no surprise
That you're fish-food, you hard-headed goat!
"Jaws" - 1975
A dog and a cat and a flea,
All sat down to some tea,
They all ate some ham,
With some bread and some jam,
And were all as content as can be.
There once was a young man from Turkey
Whose food tastes were known to be quirky
On braised lamb with Bordeaux
He had quickly said no
And asked if they had some Beef Jerky
Contest Poet Destroyer A October 8, 2015
I ordered a large pizza pie
What do you want on it asked guy
His question a pearl
Set my mind awhirl
A sexy young girl answered I