They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick
To the diner Mac went for a meal
Where he ordered two helpings of veal.
All he had was one dime
Could not pay! What a crime!
Washing-up was the fairest MacDeal
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sponsor: Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer
© 2nd June 2017
Bill’s cucumbers grew long and hard
Nuns queued up for them in his yard
‘Twas their weekly treat…
They were not to eat
I’ll finish here… or I’ll get barred!
I’m trying a new ‘see food’ diet
I’d recommend that you all try it
Any food will do
Nothing’s bad for you..
It's no wonder my trousers don’t fit!
Written 18th February
Posted on 23rd February
He phoned the village bakery
And ordered a delivery
Loads and loads of tasty pies
Ate them all but at a price
He spent the night in misery.
Contest: Plentitude of Pies
Sponsor: Sheri Fresonke Harper
Today it is Thanksgiving Day
For all dead turkey’s I do pray
That you had a good life
Now you’re carved with a knife
Served on a plate as the entrée
Have a great Thanksgiving folks!
26th November 2015
Block of Neapolitan Ice Cream;
to my diet, a scream in a dream
and vanilla; very
delicious Then I bust out a seam
When at home its often fast food I crave,
might even be leftovers that I saved,
always in a race,
open and shut case,
thank God for my nuke everything microwave!
Waking up for school was hard enough,
still half asleep not ready for the bus,
breakfast on the dot,
snap, crackle and pop,
noisy Rice Krispy's helping us wake up.
My sister likes to doodle
I thought she drew a noodle
She gave me a glare
And tugged at my hair
And told me t'was a poodle.
At picnics Sue's legs are akimbo
No panties, but Sue ain't no bimbo
It keeps pesky flies
Landing on our pies
Our days out are never in limbo!
Your best New Limerick Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
When I was a teen, I would munch
My way through the whole Sunday brunch.
I'd destroy that buffet,
Then as we walked away,
I'd ask my poor mother, "When's lunch?"
There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable
They alleged, when they handcuffed poor Fred
that he’d killed Mr Wu! Shot him dead!
For that night, over beer,
his intent had been clear -
“I could murder a Chinese*,” he’d said.
8 Feb 2020
*British expression meaning “I’d really love some Chinese food”!
My elderly auntie named Dot
her memory’s going to pot
For she served me raw food
and was totally nude
A dinner I’ve never forgot
In my soup I could have sworn I saw a shark.
Swimming in roux that was rather dark.
But to my relief,
the fin a bay leaf.
Now I wear glasses before each meal I start.
With Baseball hotdogs on the run
Caught up in, excitement and fun
Watch where you go
Before you know
You might slip and fall on your bun!
Food To Feed Separate from Weed
Morning Has Broken and so has each seed;
Become food to feed separate from weed,
Which was required that they surely need.
My main goal is to motivate others
to write poetry..
I could not see anything wrong
With getting a tan in a thong
But it made Jan ruffle
when it failed to muffle
Spicy chili con carne pong
Food shopping I find is a chore
My memory's getting quite poor
I write my list down
Then drive into town…
My shopping list's by my front door!
There was a man named Fred
Who liked eating baked beans in bed
One day when he farted
He and his wife parted
'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said Fred.
Ice cream is a delicious delight,
I eat it most every night.
That's probably why,
My weight is so high,
But I won't stop eating one bite.
There was a young fellow named Tony,
Who wouldn't eat his macaroni.
He hollered out, "Hey,
Take this slop food away.
Just bring me a stick of baloney."
Written; November 14, 2014
Extra nutty and thick
A treat with a positive stick
Why am I such a fool?
These dentures I'm bound to lose!
A cup of milk, please make it quick!
There once was a lady named Vickie,
Whose eating habits were quite picky.
She preferred her sweet treats,
To vegetables and meats,
Saying, "Healthy foods are just too icky!"
(based on a true story)