Limerick Poems About Fear | Fear Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: word play,

Common Sense

Now I’m thinking, while sitting on a chair,
There is something that I would like to share
I fear my mind is dense
Can’t make out common sense
How come they call it common if it’s rare?

--------------------------------------------------
Quote: “Common sense is very uncommon” 
                    (Helen Gurley Brown)
            "Common sense is not so common"
                            (Voltaire)
--------------------------------------------------
Contest: Dumb and Dumber Personal quotes
Sponsor: John Freeman


Poem Details | by James Rasmusson |
Categories: funny

Seven Dwarfs

~Seven Dwarfs~  (limerick sequence)*

There once was a dwarf named Doc,
Who saw patients around the clock.
He hadn’t gone to medical school,
Yet his patients he could easily fool,
For his meds were always chalk.

There once was a dwarf named Sleepy,
Whose wife was extremely weepy.
She wanted to travel
But couldn’t unravel
His hair from the bed canopy.

There once was a dwarf named Happy,
Who ate only fudge and taffy.
His tummy got big.
He looked like a pig.
So he switched to chocolate frappé.

There once was a dwarf named Bashful,
Who’s wallet was always cash full.
Too timid to spend
For fear he’d offend
The peons whose homes were trash full.

There once was a dwarf named Dopey,
Who’s mind was mightily mopey.
His speech was so slow
His belle didn’t know
That he wanted to elopey.

There once was a dwarf named Grumpy,
Who became a little rumpy.
He ran ten miles a day,
But much to his dismay,
His butt just became real lumpy.

There once was a dwarf named Sneezy,
Whose allergies made him wheezey.
He wanted to play the romantic lead,
But instead did the voice of a dying steed,
In a film by Martin Scorsese.

*the real ending to "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: love

Words Unspoken

He held my hand, not one word was spoken

Then a ring he offered as a token

     He could not ask for marriage

     For fear I might disparage

His eyes conveyed sentiments unspoken




* Entry for Adeleke's "Unspeakable Love" contest
 


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

SANTA IS COMING

Santa comes but once a year Impotence his greatest fear He fills up his sack Slings it on his back Hope he wont drop his load here Mrs Claus was in great distress She wants sex she does confess Santa saw his GP Saying please help me We need to sort out this mess The doc prescribed some blue pills They cured Santa of his ills Now back in the sack Not flat on their back Now they are getting their thrills 11~22~14 Contest: What’s up with Santa Sponsor Jerry Curtis


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

Consider Cougars

Some men might prefer kitty cats oh so pretty, but they might be brats! The mature feline, though, is the one in the “know” and is better at dealing with rats! To the Cougar’s “prey“, I say fear not! It can be a good thing to get caught. Ashton Kutcher’s not blind. Maybe you too can find a cougar both wealthy and hot!
By Andrea Dietrich Inspired by DrRam Mehta's Contest: "Cougar Effect"


Poem Details | by Kimberly Shaw |
Categories: for kids,

Tick Tock Pox

In my clock, I hear tickery tock
It just stopped!  No tick tock from my clock
Oh my dear tick tock box
Now I fear there's a fox
In my tickery tockery clock

A sly fox in your dear tick tock box?
Oh my gosh, I can see his striped socks!
Well a stinky striped sock
could put germs in my clock
and cause tickery tockery pox.


Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: nonsense,

My Fears

Claustrophobia no,not afraid of close quarters
Love sharks and crocks and all in the waters
There's one thing I fear
So listen up here
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia non-supporters





*****Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of big words****



Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: beach,

The Beach


As kids, we were brought to the beach
at riverfront...sea out of reach.
Our sand was like mud;
neath water, silt crud.
I'd wallow with fun, laugh and screech!

Now grown, to the ocean I go
where sand is as white as the snow.
I don't go out far
beyond the sand bar
for fear of the silt down below!


Sandra MHaight

~1st Place~
Contest: Two Lenses
Sponsor: Sara Kendrick
Judged: 02/27/2016


Poem Details | by Funom Makama |
Categories: bible, blessing, business, epic,

Blessing Time

Gone is the time to fear any omen
bubbling like a city of fine women
fate never assumes
as bad luck so fumes
the hour has come as life says amen.


Poem Details | by Owen Yeates |
Categories: animal, funny, car, me,

The Vet

Heard them say that I’m off to the vet
It’s for my annual booster you bet
He is fetching the lead
Here he comes yes indeed
And into the car I do get

I do not like the car very much
Travel sickness I get just a touch
If they take me to far
I’ll be sick in this car
But I just can’t help it as such

We arrive at the vets safe and sound
I drag slowly for this I have found
It’s a waste of time 
Going to the vets is a crime
I’d rather be back in the pound

Now there putting me on the scale
The nurse says I’m as fat as a whale
This is no fun
I just want to run
But alas I must sit on my tail

At last I’m led into that room
I know that it not for a groom
They lift me on the table
For to climb I’m not able
At last I fear it is doom

The vet has moved round behind
That thermometer looks none to kind
He says it won’t hurt
In a manner that’s curt
Now the thermometer they cannot find

Next it’s the jab in the neck
I could bite him but what the heck
It’s all over now
It’s much worse for a cow
As I leave the surgery I wreck

Then just as I’m off to the door
I hear the vet say one thing more
He needs more exercise
To decrease his size
To hell with that that’s for sure

So back in the car to go home
I feel my mouth starting to foam
Then I’m sick on the floor
Someone open the door
In this car I just hate to roam

Now free of the car I need the loo
The fresh green grass will do
As I open my bowel 
The smell is quite fowl
The thermometers there in my pooh

So home again I will take to my chair
Relax and unwind as is fair
Too much stress for today
Just want to sleep and lay
For the exercise I just do not care

So my trip to the vet I’ve relayed
My owner took me and has paid
So leave me in peace
All wrapped up in my fleece
For my sleep has to long been delayed


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: health, humor,

Flushed

It’s time for my next colonoscopy
Oh, how I dread the cost to me.
Must I drink all that stuff?
Wouldn’t a pint be enough?
I fear my insides may be lost to me.
 


Poem Details | by Ralph Sergi |
Categories: humorous,

Courage

Courage

There once was a man who was fearless
Confronting a fear he could care less
His courage was there
Like Samson with hair
Except on his head he was hairless

Courage-Andrea Dietrich Contest
July 4, 2015


Poem Details | by Lycia Harding |
Categories: adventure, courage, fear, growth,

Courage - Limerick

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of
 fear -- not absence of fear." - Mark Twain 


A courageous old knight found that there'd
still come times when anxiety flared
but he'd learned through the years
that to conquer one's fears,
one must not be afraid to be scared


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

LIGHT AND HOPE LIMERICK

Jim flicked off the bedroom wall LIGHT With HOPE of a wild sex filled night But the tone of his wife Made him fear for his life Guess she’s keeping her legs shut tight L & H Contest – Sponsor Catie Lindsey 05~21~15


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

HE'S BENT - UPDATED - COLLABORATION WITH ROB BETTRIDGE

I feel terribly sorry for Rodger He developed a kink in his todger It looked such a sight when bent to the right that his poor wife ran off with the lodger! When his wife ran away from poor Rodger Because of the shape of his todger He cried and he moped When she upped and eloped In the dead of the night with the Lodger But why feel so sorry for Rodger? Who developed a kink in his todger There are many that will (Who just for the thrill) Put a Smile on the face of that Codger He is proud that he's now in demand By those that admire his new stand If kinky it seems If only in dreams To be diddled by Rodger's bent gland Now Rodger's a Porn Star, of late Busy making the most of his fate Though by straining too much It has worn down a touch To the point of appearing quite straight Impressed by events from afar Of her Ex who became a Porn Star She planned for a tryst Twixt the hubby she missed And the lodger...'Ménage à trois' In the sack with Rodger and lodger She did not expect them to dodge her When they started to play (To her utter dismay) The lodger proved More bent than Rodger When faced with their naughty nature Which was something she just couldn't savour Having quite lost her mind She struck from behind At the roots of their sordid behaviour She didn't hold back from the guys Extracting their blood and their cries Antics nipped in the Bud Not surprised that she would Kick them out with raw fear in their eyes Poor Rodger could no longer perform He became so sad and forlorn He saw his GP For a costly fee Could his todger be put back to norm? His doc said he would operate Get his todger to an upright state to Rodger’s surprise his todger could rise now he needs to recuperate So having been kicked into touch They are walking with help from a crutch Both Rodger and lodger Keep trying to dodge her As She has become a Dom Butch She wears Fetish outfits so shocking And Schools her pet subs with cruel mocking When she's bound them with chain The screams from their pain Sees their lashes increase without stopping Rodger and lodger; Now Cuckolds Enslaved by their Bonds and Blindfolds Feel the bite of her Crop But don't wish her to stop The control over them that she holds (The Moral) Be careful of what you may wish for There could be surprises in store Wishing all that you might It could still be your plight To get what you wished for - And More! Collaboration with Rob Bettridge


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun, tribute,

A Limerick For The Wulf Man



Dear Jonathan you seem more refined than most Were you appointed spokesperson to fill a post I'm the Canadian equivalent I'm really quite magnifient When it comes to public speaking I can't help but boast Well don't be shy you should blow your own trumpet Need to show these guys we ain't just some puppets Got savy galore Taking over the floor To the applause of many causing smiles by the bucket Now don't get me wrong John, I'm straight as an arrow It's my humble attempt to prove I'm really not shallow My breath is strong As I lead them in song And they keep throwing me money by the barrel So John, this is not one of those “Dear John” letters Trust me, this little limerick is a whole lot better To acknowledge your talents Won't call you a savant Though on Poetry Soup you're image is unfettered Enough is enough, mustn't cause too much laughter For fear you might think it's your body I'm after On my mama's grave It's only friendship I crave Okay I admit writing this while a bit plastered © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: funny, hilarious, humor, humorous,

Hold This

Caesar to Brutus (in strife):
“I fear you’ve taken my Life …”
-	I thought you meant
-	It would be lent,
When you said: “Here … hold my knife”










Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, childhood, education, fantasy,

You Stink

<                            Once came along a super ninja
                              Dagger Nunchucks Gi sword Wala
                              Hiding in the sewer
                              Got covered with manure
                              Fear not his weapons but hands haha


                             
                              


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: culture, drink, science, wisdom,

common sense corona

Light ribbons in one eye we fear  
Precede headache pain that's severe
Drug firms clearly bribe
Physicians to prescribe
Migraine meds but I'll imbibe beer


Authors Note: If you are in a safe place (not driving or operating machinery), this home remedy could be better than what the doctor ordered I keep a few medicinal bottles ready in the fridge for just such an emergency Lime is optional.

The clinical trial: An authentic "migraine" headache is accompanied by blood vessel constrictionThere can be 15 to 30 minutes of shimmering lights in one eye followed by a headache from hell Having learned that alcohol dilates blood vessels, one day I tried chugging a beer just after the shimmering started The lights subsided and there was no headache Beer just may be the second best medicine ever created 


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, insect,

Hived

There was a beekeeper named Jives
Who found a rash on his thighs.
The doctor said be at peace,
Nothing to fear in the least.
You simply have too many hives.


































Poem Details | by Joy Wellington |
Categories: husband, peace,

My Ex For Sale

Come one come all my ex for sale
His underwear being sold in bale
                 Naked on the block
                 Glad he is defrock 
His chest shows fear at the exsale


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: crazy,

An ego to brag about

He razzed Iran’s chieftain emir
Cotton's had his writing premiere 
The paparazzi
Might call him a Nazi
But he's just a smart profiteer


Author's note:  This young senator reminds me of someone who might have attended a Hitler youth camp Fear is his opportunity While he is strangely self-assured, he is on the same side of the nuclear negotiations as the Iranian hardliners He doesn't go back and talk about the time the USA overthrew the democratically elected government of Iran and installed the brutal Shah (Even if that information is critical to the relationship we now have with the Iranians.)  If talks fail we know there will be a short term benefit to certain groups Are you affiliated with them, Senator?  Follow the $$$.


Poem Details | by Nyonglema Pisoh |
Categories: betrayal, boyfriend, child, children,

A dull three - aka Adultery

Love lived in the hearts of Him and Her,
 But distance shrouded fear over Her
 And to punish Her reluctance
 He gave another girl a chance
 And she brought triplets nine months later.



(c) Nyonglema


Poem Details | by John Patrick Robbins AKA Gonzo |
Categories: funny, me,

Befor I Hit The Floor

If two was to many then i'll have tweenty six.
Trade ya a bad habbit for a rusty knife and your sisters nude pics.
Maybe im insane do you really care to find out.
Order in the court yes your honor I'll have a stout.

So many warnings Mr Gonzo how could you ignore?
I make being wreckless a fashion statement.
Now excuse me befor i hit the floor.

A few bar fights yet still im standing.
When i come through that door sweetheart
Apon this floor theres no telling where im landing.

Just door me one in old boozer's dish.
If only this world would stop spinning well i can at least wish.


Its hard to let go of the ground when you fear of falling into the 
sky.
A pervert ,Drunk,Womanizer,Demented nutcase.
Other than that im a swell guy.

Insanity is many things but never a bore.
I say cheers to bad habbits and loose women.
It's always a blast befor i hit the floor.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: animals

Bess' Pet Spider

"I have a sweet spider," Bess said.
"Don't fear it; just pet it instead!"
But just then "sweet" spider
proceeded to bite 'er.
She stomped on it till it was dead!


For Carolyn and John's Limericks Contest:
"Are You Bugged?"


Poem Details | by Viv Wigley |
Categories: humor,

We've all done it

I may just be panicking, but
I've a horrible fear in my gut
that sense of unease
I've forgotten my keys
just after the door had slammed shut

(submitted via cellphone :) )


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, political, satire,

ELECTION REFLECTION - JOIN IN THE COLLABORATION

Some folks will be down in the dumps Hillary lost … Donald came up trumps Britain made their exit They voted for Brexit I have a question …are we all chumps? JAN ALLISON 11~09~16 I think we're all sick of the status quo They get rich and to us a bone they throw Our vote reflects Too much neglect So let's cover our ears and enjoy the show WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Nothing can kill an erection Quiet like a Presidential Election I limped to my room Feeling the doom But woke Okay with the national selection. WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN DUCK WINS! SALAMANDER CONCEDES! It was a pretty heady do’in But duck was good at poo’in Plus loud quacks And nasty attacks Political skills for a shoo in WRITTEN BY LIM'RICK FLATS Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in spades She conceded, his hand was well played No more bickering Nor cat fighting America has voted, the choice was made WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y The vitriol flowed, the venom spewed The gamut was run from nasty to rude They covered their flaws By flapping their jaws At least neither showed up in the nude WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS That smirking skunk likes to blow his TRUMPet And treat all women like they are strumpets Oh for goodness sake He's an evil snake If there's a woman he says, "I'll hump it!" WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND Two taxpayers in Thomaston Checked the donate a dollar box~ done Many months now have been wooed By two candidates pursued Can't believe the smug smile cause he won WRITTEN BY SARA KENDRICK Lay in bed, watched TV, gripped in fear As results on the screen all appeared Thought 'Clinton', what a chump Since I've woke woke with a trump' She said 'yes, I can smell it from here' WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY All the white beer bellied rednecks are stump Those are out of work that voted for Trump Up in arms not with humor Because there is a rumor going around his cite taking a dump Import a hundred- thousand to perk Mexican immigrants smirk To build his high brick wall, The unmitigated gall cheap economics and people to work WRITTEN BY SONNY AND EVE ROPER There was a candidate whose name was Trump In the white house wanted to set up camp With any chance that he found Convinced everyone around Thus people voted for the dirty tramp! WRITTEN BY DEMETRIOS TRIFIATIS The trumpet has now been blown The king ascends to his throne But who will pay the bail When Hillary's in jail We've entered the twilight zone WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY There once was a rich billionaire Who took away the poors healthcare Breeds hatred for Islam He's a walking time bomb The guys america's worse nightmare WRITTEN BY STEPHEN PENNELL


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny, health

Swine-Flu Paranoia

I fear you are spreading a dreadful disease
You cough sounds contagious...I shrink when you sneeze!
I have one small issue
Where the HECK is your tissue?
Don't spray your infection on ME (If you please)


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, political,

Watched by Men in Black

My phone is being tapped; I’m sure of it
I called a government guy a nitwit
     Why did I post that blog?
     Am I in such a fog?
Perhaps I should have called him a half-wit

The letter to the editor was hot
Just look at how many comments it got
     Not one soul disagreed
     It started a stampede
All wanting to lash out at the big shot

Men in black are outside wearing a grin
Now I fear everyone who isn’t kin
     Strange cameras appeared
     At home – they look so weird
I believe paranoia has set in



*Entry for Susan’s: Big Brother-Who’s Watching You and Why” contest.


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: peace, political, satire,

Endless Madness

Our people respect Navy Seals
Their stealth earned applause 
and great squeals
Yet nervous most wait
As from this fateful date
There's fear of Bin Laden's 
ideals

The rabble's reaction was queer
To some of us it does appear
That no one has learned
What it means to be burned
And how from this nonsense to 
steer

He'd not have his calendar 
cleared
He died before dying his beard
His head sheared with lead
Won't taste breakfast in bed
Osama won't see his death 
cheered


Poem Details | by Mary Duhart |
Categories: life, sisterprayer,

Through The Eyes of A Twin

Through The Eyes of A Twin
(Faux Limerick)

Sometimes I wonder is it just me
Visions in my head that I can see
Fear grips at me so strong
I thought boy this is wrong
Rebuking Satan told him to flee

I went to the windows looked outside
Then moved from room to room with great stride
Oh girl you need to quit
Was I having a fit
I began to pray fear didn’t subside

In my mind I was seeing this attack
Just stood still didn’t know how to react
Lord where did that come from
Why did I see this harm
Was I having an awful flashback

Continued to pray and shook my head
May be it was something I had read
These thoughts I did not need
They just could not proceed
An attack I would certainly dread

A week later on I got this call
My twin began to explain it all
The vision did occur
What I saw was a blur
As she spoke all I could do was ball

Over the miles I had heard her scream
The attack was broken in midstream
Through my eyes I could see
The Lord had heard my plea
Now I see it was not a daydream

When Spirit lead we must intercede
For there just may be an urgent need
We must stand in the gap
Stop Satan in his trap
The Lord will answer our prayer indeed






Poem Details | by Sidney Beck |
Categories: funnyfish,

FISH AND FISHING

FISH   AND   FISHING


Eat  fish and you’re  fed for one meal says my wife;
But  learn how  to fish  and you’re  fed all your life.
But  the taste of that fish
It’s not what I wish  -
It’s meat and potatoes I want on my knife.


If I had to catch what I eat in the sea
With  never a taste of a sausage or pea,
My meals would be sad
And my taste-buds not glad.
I’d rather have nothing at all but my tea.


The fish in the ocean need not fear me.
Just  turnips and carrots and cabbage, you see,   
And porkchops and veal
And burgers ;  not eel,
Nor dolphin, nor codfish nor  kedgeree 

........................................................

Written  for   John Freeman's  Contest: Limericks About Fishing


Poem Details | by Darlene Gifford |
Categories: hilarious, old, woman,

TOO LATE JEANETTE

There was an old lady called Jeanette.
Who wiggled in line for a toilette.
        She said, "I can't wait!
        I fear it's too late.
And my bottoms a bit more than wet."



Everyone poops contest
 By Roy Jerden





.


Poem Details | by Black Eyed Susan |
Categories: fantasy,

sneaky ninjas

Black ninjas under the moonless sky
Strike raw fear in their enemies white
They dye their eyes black
As ink to attack
Like demons rising out of the night!


11/5/11
Received 3rd place in "sneaky ninjas" contest


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: weather,

Where The Hell Is Spring



Happy old Jackeroonie ain't so happy lately The weather's a bummer, his psyche's suffering greatly It's the same old thing Where the hell is spring Must hide all the knives for fear of events quite gravely


Poem Details | by Margeret Bailey |
Categories: politicalrose, rose, prejudice,

If Only There Was A Fair Lady

No one seeks the Rose of Sharon,
despite her being declared as the maiden so fair,
by King Solomon,
The truth of the matter is, her complexion is not fair
enough, to give her cross-over appeal allowing the
Knights of the Round Table to "wheel and deal",
Yet, no one would dare say it is really that way,
for fear of being accused of bigotry and prejudice,
Despite her brilliance and favour from God,
The Rose Of Sharon was used and cast aside
as if she were manure or sod,

If only she were a fair lady she would have received
the world and all the help required to succeed,
but the color charts would not permit,
therefore, sensibilities took heed,
and great achievments from a rose colored wit would
not be seen,
because it would be unbearable to watch the raisin
in the sun preen.




Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

For Fear Of Turning Green



Life is so full of variables I've discovered With a new set of rules, we're constantly smothered Must be strong like a superhero Not just your breath, my peccadillos For fear of turning green, our schnoze we must cover © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Andrew Crisci |
Categories: food, seasons, thank you,

FRAGILE BUT LABORIOUS

All bees are fragile, remakable insects
we do fear them for their painful stingers;
they're terribly noisy,     
although they make honey!
O these small insects sweeten our palates!


Poem Details | by Thomas Martin |
Categories: appreciation, growing up, ocean,

Two in Sea Time

For the  child in us all.

Sea, sea can't catch me,
All the waves that I can see,
Would like to carry me away
Swallow my blue-eyed day
Swell up and float away wee, me.

That I respect my blowsy ocean
You cannot be a sea without motion,
Nor I a child without fear of your tides,
But oh they so give such fabulous rides,
When from you I teasingly run.


Poem Details | by Stacy Sardelli |
Categories: holiday, work

Saint Patty's Day At The Office Limerick

I fear I’m not much of a drinker
I prefer work, where I’m a thinker
I sure love the color green
but I won’t be letting off any steam
Another StPatty’s that’s a stinker


Poem Details | by Margeret Bailey |
Categories: childhood, imagination, science fiction,

Introducing the Benaminis: The Gypsies from afar

The Benaminis are a family of rodents,
who live their lives capitalizing on other
peoples' residences,
They scope the homes when they're not 
home,
or invade it when only one member's alone,
They scamper up and down,
acting like confounded clowns,
going through closets and secret hiding places,
at the end of their visits , they carry satchels on their backs
filled with delicacies and knick-knacks,
The familes set traps of honey and cheese,
hoping they all will fall to their knees,
But they just keeping rambling and showing up at
the oddest times,
even when polluted with coffee grinds,
They run a muck, taking what they want,
Their sniveling looks seem to haunt,
making families edgy, and promoting dreams 
that taunt,
Oh, they give the children quite a scare,
by climbing everywhere,
They cover their bodies from head to toes,
for fear that the Benaminis grizzly hands may take them
out the windows,
The gypsies who traveled from "Nowhere",
have put enmity and nervousness everywhere,
helping themselves to life's delights,
only stopped with traps and horrible fights.


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: anti bullying, fear, freedom,

Limericks crochetes: All the trappings of the rough-neck cult

Limericks crochetés : All the trappings of the rough-neck cult

All the trappings of the rough-neck cult
Baby-faced blond Aryans exult
Under star-striped umbrella
State seal insignia
Some Dad yells « OUT », muscle-men catapult

Can SUN also set in the Wild West
Where the cash – the Man says – will come to rest
How many will share wealth
How many get free health
Deplete coffers for great job conquest ?

The tragic loss of a rising star
O ! Mark « Blond » face ! He’ll shine yet afar !
Blocked not by Destiny
But by peer fear envy :
Winsome mien sage’s ears passion galore !

© TWignesan – Paris,  2016


Poem Details | by peter timmins |
Categories: animals, nature, people, placesmen,

two little men from winney can do

Two little men from winney- can- do, went out for a day trip to the zooThey packed a big 
lunch, and filled up the car, for the trip to the zoo was really quite far.
When they arrived, and had a look round, they were astonished at what they had found
There were lions and tigers, monkeys and giraffeThe two men were having a really good 
laugh
But when they reached the reptile house, they had to be quiet as a mouseFor the biggest 
croc that lived in the park, had broken out in the darkThey knew he was in there, but didn’t 
know where; the two men were really and truly quite scared.
Then all of a sudden one of them sneezed, and fell over backwards into a big tree.
A rustle of branches and then a big scream, this can’t be happening, this must be a dream.
The man called out to his friend all concerned, then heard a big growl and slowly turned
There in front of him sat on a rock, was a giant and rather angry big croc.
The man froze with fear and just couldn’t run, and with one snap ended up in the big crocs 
tum.
So if you ever go to winney-can-do, please don’t ever visit the zoo.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

How Charming Can I Be



Want you all to know how charming I can be But must hold back or you'll succumb don't you see It's for your own good More open I would But I fear your advances would be too much for me © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Eve Roper |
Categories: funny, true love,

Dead Man Walking cartoon JOIN IN THE COLLABORATION

Small and Extra Large Loo ma viewed her old man in a helpful mood her sweetness turned to a fiery storm brewed a two sitter for the loo his and her tush fit for two extra spicy will simmer in his food Eve Roper 11/18/2016 Fred cut two holes in the dunny His poor wife didn’t find it so funny The HUGE hole for HER rear Now filled HIM with fear She could drop him in poop so runny (Dunny is an Australian word for toilet) By: Jan Allison 11/20/2016 Ma clenched her fists in anger when she saw the two toilet seats constructed by Pa he made hers entirely too large then said her butt's big as a barge Ma's in jail for murder~she broke the law By: Lin Lane 11/20/2016 Papa was a sweet pleasing spouse He built mama a new custom outhouse One look was all it took She caught him with a left hook Widening the door all it took to rouse By: Sonny Roper 11/20/2016 Nothing beats a good wooden throne A two seater I’d really condone Oh to share the sound of the plop From things that tinkle and drop I fear the wife, would rather go it alone By: Mark Woods 11/20/2016 I have been ordered to renovate the loo so my good wifey can go for a poo the hole I cut was so large as it had to fit her arse Oh im in trouble now, what a to-do By:Stephen Pennell 11/20/2016 Before Dad could reach the pit, my enraged Mum took a fit. The seat as we gawked, made into a wooden stalk For my poor pitiful Pop. By: Jean Murray 11/20/2016


Poem Details | by Rob Bettridge |
Categories: humorous,

'HES BENT' - Updated Collaboration with JAN ALLISON

I feel terribly sorry for Rodger
He developed a kink in his todger
It looked such a sight
when bent to the right
that his poor wife ran off with the lodger! 

When his wife ran away from poor Rodger
Because of the shape of his todger
He cried and he moped
When she upped and eloped
In the dead of the night with the Lodger

But why feel so sorry for Rodger?
Who developed a kink in his todger
There are many that will
(Who just for the thrill)
Put a Smile on the face of that Codger

He is proud that he's now in demand
By those that admire his new stand
If kinky it seems
If only in dreams
To be diddled by Rodger's bent gland

Now Rodger's a Porn Star, of late
Busy making the most of his fate
Though by straining too much
It has worn down a touch
To the point of appearing quite straight

Impressed by events from afar
Of her Ex who became a Porn Star
She planned for a tryst
Twixt the hubby she missed
And the lodger...'Ménage à trois'

In the sack with Rodger and lodger
She did not expect them to dodge her
When they started to play
(To her utter dismay)
The lodger proved More bent than Rodger

When faced with their naughty nature
Which was something she just couldn't savour
Having quite lost her mind
She struck from behind
At the roots of their sordid behaviour

She didn't hold back from the guys
Extracting their blood and their cries 
Antics nipped in the Bud
Not surprised that she would
Kick them out with raw fear in their eyes

Poor Rodger could no longer perform
He became so sad and forlorn
He saw his GP
For a costly fee
Could his todger be put back to norm?

His doc said he would operate
Get his todger to an upright state
to Rodger’s surprise
his todger could rise
now he needs to recuperate

So having been kicked into touch
They are walking with help from a crutch
Both Rodger and lodger
Keep trying to dodge her
As She has become a Dom Butch

She wears Fetish outfits so shocking
And Schools her pet subs with cruel mocking
When she's bound them with chain
The screams from their pain
Sees their lashes increase without stopping

Rodger and lodger; Now Cuckolds
Enslaved by their Bonds and Blindfolds 
Feel the bite of her Crop 
But don't wish her to stop
The control over them that she holds


(The Moral)

Be careful of what you may wish for
There could be surprises in store
Wishing all that you might
It could still be your plight
To get what you wished for - And More!


Collaboration with JAN ALLISON


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Biting Our Dear Golden



Starving myself in an attempt to lose weight Feel like biting our dear Golden of late My only fear is She'd never forgive To show her displeasure on my bed she'd urinate © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by John W Fenn |
Categories: education, for children, funny,

Halitosis

When a schoolteacher’s got halitosis
What his pupils fear most when he’s close is
That the smell of his breath
It  could choke them to death
And bring about chronic necrosis


Poem Details | by olusegun Arowolo |
Categories: animals, funny,

The he-goat

He-goat said"Mum place yourself for mounting"
She frowned that he has no fear for Dad`s thing,
Not afraid of Daddy`s hit,
He`s prepared for this fast fit,
ready to use condom for this kicking.


Poem Details | by Joshua Lacey |
Categories: funny, life

Fight the Darkness

Much fear I can sense
But know I'm not dense
The demons will sap
I just need a nap!
On the right side of the fence!