Limerick Poems About December | December Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: city, humorous,

BORED IN MANHATTAN NOT FOR CONTEST

I was bored in Manhattan that day So decided to pay for a lay He was handsome and young And was VERY well hung I walked like John Wayne all of the day Thanks to James Fraser's Bored In Manhattan poem for the inspiration! Just make me laugh contest Sponsored by Christine Lehman 27th December 2015


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

YOU MUST LOOK AFTER YOUR ELF

Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick His red nose was gleaming Blue eyes they were streaming I hope that Santa will give him some Vick 24th December 2014


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: allegory, butterfly, sensual, word

Butterfly Effect

I love to go down where they hidden lie
And see them spread their wings up so high.
  But if you are down there
  Be sure to come up for air
Deep in the bush of the Venus Butterfly!


             December 2015


    For Men Only Butterfly Contest.


 Not to be confused with the Flytrap
                 but similar!


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: christmas, humorous, boy,

Confessions of a Teenage Boy

This year I asked Santa for a Harley
And a flagon of wine made of barley.
  Then I asked God alone
  For an angel of my own...
No, not one of His, one of Charlie's!


           December 2015


        For Limerick Contest
        Sponsor: Jan Allison

As a teenage boy I loved Cheryl Ladd.


Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: friendship, people,

Portrait of Dena

Written December 20, 2011


Miss Dena loves all purple things
No matter what her day might bring.
She loves purple clothes...
Has oodles of those -
And also wears quite fancy rings.


Gail's note: Inspired by my friend Dena.
Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny, holiday,

Saddle Up Them Deer!

Santa Claus has been unemployed all year

On the dole watching TV drinking beer

MsClaus was going berserk

Its Christmas time you fat jerk

Get off your duff and saddle up them deer

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No1 in Francine Roberts "Christmas" Contest - December 2010


Poem Details | by Silent One |
Categories: funny,

Mean old lady for contest

There was an old lady so mean scariest woman you have seen demons hid beneath her yellow fanged teeth no wonder she couldn't keep them clean
24 December 2015 Limerick contest by Jan Allison Syllables checked on: www.howmanysyllables.com Syllables per line: 8/8/5/5/8: total: 34 Word count: 25


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: clothes, humorous,

BORED IN MANHATTAN NFC

A young broad was bored in Manhattan So got dressed in outrageous fashion She looked so out of place Wearing satin and lace When a cop shocked her with his baton The cop was amazed by her attire Many men were filled with desire She was such an arresting sight That much to her delight He took her home to warm up by the fire 6th December 2015


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny

Ozone Pollution

I suppose that I should apologize

   Cutting her off in traffic was unwise

      With finger she saluted

         Air with vile words polluted

            She clearly intended me to chastise


Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No2 in BG Gorelick's "Apology Accepted" Contest - December 2010


Poem Details | by Ralph Sergi |
Categories: humorous,

Such a pail

Such a pail 
I have a sweet beautiful daughter
Who is always fetching me water
Each day without fail
she has such a pail
When my daughter brings me the water

Limerick  Contest  December 24, 2015
Sponsored by Jan Allison


Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: funny

An Unusual New Year's Resolve

There once was a woman that was very fat!
Her diet resolves, I fear,
Broken each and every year.
Until she put something new under her hat –
It was her food; now, what do you think of that?

© December 22, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: sexy,

Limerick: Once Cute Pute in Gay Paris called Miel

Limerick: Once Cute Pute in Gay Paris called Miel

Once Cute Pute* in Gay Paris called Miel*
Plied her trade around a Ferris Wheel
Rode them roller coaster
Spun them on wheel later
Got lush cut on fines for police squeal!*

•	Pute: stands for “prostitute” in French
•	Miel: for “honey” in French
•	A new French Bill, dated December 7, 2011,
proposes the fining of prostitutes’ clientsFrench law,
by and large, tolerates the profession, even if overt 
solicitation, procuring, and prostitution of minors 
IS NOTAccording to French law, sexual maturity
is recognised at 15, but for prostitutes 18 is the 
legitimate agePrison sentences range from 2 to 7
for related offences, and fines can run up to €100,000.

© TWignesan – Paris, 2013


Poem Details | by Mystic Rose |
Categories: winter,

Winter


I sit by a window and wait for the first snow flake 
and see the tumbling leaves rolling in their quake
a duster breeze 
a window tease 
and I lean on a sea of calm, by the morning lake
the kettle starts to whistle-blow, it's time for a break;   


something real and beautiful is about to happen,    hear? 

The bruising fire of summer days is gone my friend 
and truth be told I'm ready and willing to contend 
to the chill 
the iron will 
of a cheeky Autumn who rumples my leaves, I rend
to the power of the Fall, and no longer fuss or fend   

something real and beautiful is about to happen,    hear? 


I come to the anticipation of a gentle Godly time 
when silver bows hang and angels dress in fine  
show the sign 
to heaven's line    
The snow will fall upon the trees and time will chime 
like a Fenton bell of glass, so dainty oh so fine!   

Something real and beautiful is about to happen,    hear?

Winter is arriving without further ado or fanfare 
as I sit by a hearth and read poems by Baudelaire
Snow squalls
Decked halls
Everything about winter calls, this is a blessed December 
and every memory is good, well at least, those I remember,

Something real and beautiful is about to happen,    hear?


We are going to ring in the winter together,   here  here!!!

Mystic Rose 
November 12, 2015
Contest Name: Write me a winter poem 





 


 





Poem Details | by Laura Loo |
Categories: fish, humorous,

Jim And His Fish-For The Limerick Contest

Jim And His Fish
Limerick Contest Sponsor: Jan Alison Christmas was just around the corner, Mother had the video recorder, Jim fell in the toilet, As mother records it, Fish in his nose what a great explorer! Date Written: December 24, 2015


Poem Details | by Howard Tunick |
Categories: humor,

A Rising Tide For Contest

There once was a climate change doubter
He really was quite a shouter
Until late one night
The high tide just right
Found the beach house he loved under water

24 December 2015 


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: winter,

Absolute Torture



It's December 21st and the days are getting longer Won't be long before this damn winter is conquered Had one too many That's more than plenty At my ripe old age each one's absolute torture © Jack Ellison 2016


Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: fantasy

Indian Giver

Caresses on his back made him quiver.
Enticingly, she said, “Love, come hither.”
Warm fingers rubbed his spine.
Her kisses felt so fine.
An Indian princess was his giver.

© December 10, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: food,

Food for thought



                                    Poems may be bad poems may be good
                                     Alex says all depends on writer's mood
                                                       Betty says no
                                                       The afterglow
                              Comes from food for thought- the breakfast food










(C) Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
17 December 2014


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny

Split in Twain By Divorce

LIMERICK

You can have the two kids but not the hound
And I'll need the Caddie to get around
Said she I'll take the house
You good for nothin' louse
By your cock and bull I will not be bound

HAIKU

love that drifts apart
like two diverging rivers
ne'er to flow as one

COUPLET

Their marriage made in heaven was as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar
'Til his boozing and roving eyes caused the whole affair to falter

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No5 in PDs "Divorce Club" Contest - December 2010


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, nonsense,

Crabo stirred up a hornet's nest

                                       Crabo stirred up a hornet's nest
                                         Called up Vespa for music fest
                                                Vespa bit the bullet
                                               Crabo braised a pullet
                                   Faced the music they were so stressed 












© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
18 December 2014


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: winter,

In The Buff



It's December 19th and still no white stuff This ole earth has decided enough is enough We're messing things up Sitting here on our butts Soon Canadians will be walking around in the buff © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, funny,

Bo feasted on roasted silkworm seed

                                   Bo feasted on roasted silkworm seed
                                    And felt in his stomach a stampede
                                        Newton's third law of motion
                                              A dollop of e-motion
                                    A commotion, on Po's head he peed  










                                      © RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
                                               18 December 2014


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, nonsense,

Sara Halley hailed from Texas

Sara Halley hailed from Texas
And fell out over a nexus
But she fell through
Her tummy grew
Inferior solar plexus













Copyright© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
02 December 2014


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: love,

Puppet my puppet

Puppet my puppet the snippet of my life
In the time of blues you glue my phenotype
My foamy love caboodle
Fun run and  kiss no boodle
You sit on tears-puddle in the hours of strife










Poet: RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
PUPPETS - Poetry Contest
Sponsor	John lawless
15 December 2014


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun,

The old tree Lee


                                   The old tree Lee had the seed of an idea
                                    He wanted blisters on skin for diarrhea
                                         Meeting was held in Casablanca
                                           All wrote limerick haiku tanka
                                     Compost bed urea soup and Cytherea
















© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
18 December 2014


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, funny,

Kukung Foo

                                   Kukung Foo was caught in a coup
                                         Ended up at the jail of Zoo
                                           Monkey bored him stiff
                                               Donkey was a piff
                                     He had many trials to go through











© RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
20 December 2014


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, nonsense,

MISTER BALEEN

MISTER BALEEN
limerick




                                    Mister Baleen got a whalebone
                                 He went to a charmer Doctor scone
                                          Doctor went to granny
                                           She was very funny
                                 Put bone on griddle to make a clone







© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty December 2014


Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: funny,

Life Is Such a Bummer-For Contest

     I knew I had to call a plumber  
   but he was busy 'til next summer
               Now I have no loo.
                What am I to do?
Well poop - my life is such a bummer!




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 
              December 22nd 2015
For Limerick Contest-Sponsor: JAN ALLISON


Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: funny,

Al at the Locale

There was a red bauble named Al
He feasted on mead and Halal
He got hooked on a tree
Got nice comments for free		
Which boosted his pride and morale.

Somebody the door opened wide
The wind gushed inside like the tide
Gosh! Poor Al hit the ground
And saw stars all around
He lost his decorum and pride.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -				
Contest: Silly Christmas Cartoon
Sponsor: Laura Loo
Placed 2nd
© 30th December 2016


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, for her, for

FOR PHILLIP and DIANE GARCIA - DITCH THE BEARD

Phil’s caveman look is very weird He really should shave off his beard His mother is right He looks a strange sight The Neanderthal look’s to be feared! Since December Phil’s been hirsute He needs to give his beard a boot He’ll cut it off in the sink But his mum won’t cause a stink Cos without it he looks real cute! Poem Posted with Kind permission of Phillip Garcia To understand the poem please read my comments on Phillip's poem https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/3443_or_t_minus_44_880105 02~26~17


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: autumn,

In The Buff



It's December 3rd and still no white stuff This ole earth has decided we've had enough We're messing things up Sitting here on our butts Soon Canadians will be walking around in the buff