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Limerick Poems About Christmas | Christmas Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

YOU'D BETTER NOT POUT

You got a duff gift from your ‘mate’ Too large, in a colour you hate It simply won’t fit You’ll never wear it No nookie mate now you can wait! 12~28~14 A Quintain Christmas - Andrea Dietrich ~awarded 3rd place~

Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other christmas Poems."


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

YOU MUST LOOK AFTER YOUR ELF

Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick His red nose was gleaming Blue eyes they were streaming I hope that Santa will give him some Vick 24th December 2014


Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: funnychristmas, christmas,

Christmas Limerick

Upon this very merry Christmas night,
MrsClaus has reason to be uptight, 
   Not Rudolph’s nose that’s red,
   But MrClaus’s instead,
He rides slopes in sleigh with Miss Fanny Bright!

For Christmas Contest
Sponsored by Francine Roberts


Poem Details | by kash poet |
Categories: funny,

Santa With Running Nose

Santa's red cap is turning blue
his nose running with Christmas flu
and the Doctor's advice
was "it will be nice,
wrap the gifts with natural glue."



Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: christmas,

Santa Claus SOS

Santa Claus is busy in a Mall
But he will need YOUR help after all
To help meet his goal
Send one lump of coal
So Donald Trump can build his own wall

*SOS= "Save Our Sleigh"


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Church Had Us Over Barrel

Church Had Us Over Barrel

Church really had us over barrel,
Heard choir sing Christmas carol;
Terrible sound,
All around;
Ended up in danger and imperil.

Imperil means to bring into peril
or endanger.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by Shadow Hamilton |
Categories: drink, fun, new year,

Happy New Year

Hic, oh my! hic  am drunk again,
My head is spinning with pain.
T-was the demon drink
Caught me on the blink.
Somehow ended up in Spain.

12/30/2014 

contest  A Quintain Christmas

phrase Happy New Year


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: boy, christmas, humorous,

Confessions of a Teenage Boy

This year I asked Santa for a Harley
and a flagon of wine made of barley.
  Then I asked God alone
  for an angel of my own...
no, not one of His, one of Charlie's!


           December 2015


      

As a teenage boy I loved Cheryl Ladd.


Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: christmas, humor,

You'd Better Not Pout



If no diamonds Ill try not to pout
For that’s not what Christmas is all about
Ill take  Zirconium
Though its a Phonyium
But in the bedroom there could be a drought


Just kidding of course...


Poem Details | by cheryle sanders |
Categories: funny,

Atishoo

At Christmas I contracted the flu
From taking the kids to the zoo
The hippos were a wheezing 
Ten monkeys were sneezing 
Now my temperature’s a hundred and two!


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: christmas, humor,

Bah Humbug

A Grinch in a hamlet of Whovilles

Stole credit cards, ringing up big bills

     Without checking price tags

     He murmured, “Bah, Scumbags”

For this is how grinches get their thrills!




*January 3, 2015


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, holiday

Sleigh Passengers

Christmas finds reindeer landing on rooftops

Santa’s kindly added some extra stops

     His sleigh filled with travelers

     Scared of TSA handlers

Scoff as coal through government chimneys drops



*For Francine’s Christmas contest


Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: christmas,

So What's Up With Santa





Poor Santa came down with a very bad cold
Thought he might have to put Xmas on hold
But Mrs Clause drove the sleigh
Rudolph laughed all the way
"The best Xmas ever!" so we've been told


Women rock! lol
For Jerry's contest...


Poem Details | by lola barron |
Categories: january,

New Year diet

At Christmas as always I ate
So much that I put on some weight
New year I must try
To stay off the pie
And next year, well I just can't wait.


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: children, funny,

Flying Reindeer

A flying reindeer drank much beer
Wanting to be full of Christmas cheer,
When the man in the red suit pulled his rein
He wobbled in the sky with such disdain
He filled poor Santa with fear.


Poem Details | by Seren Roberts |
Categories: christmas, humor,

Holiday Goodies


Holiday goodies, hung round the tree
They are the best you must agree
So did the dog then guess what
Up they all came, steaming hot
Next time just baubles and lights you'll see


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: christmas, food, humor,

Watch Your Diet, Santa

On his annual flight about the earth,

   Santa continues to expand his girth!

      'Tis due to cookies and milk,

         And other treats of that ilk,

            That he samples from Botswana to Perth!

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by Gerard Keogh Jr. |
Categories: life

The Day After in a Mall

When that jolly red man with a sack
brings your wishes to you off the rack,
no late Christmas night
for first frosty light,
warm the car up and take it all back.


Poem Details | by Daljit Khankhana |
Categories: caregiving, christmas, cowboy-western, education,

Belief

GOD: the goodness of determination,
a standard for better living creation.
to differentiate a civil or wild nation,
for smoothness a better flow no tension,
only patience, belief, trust asks to confirm.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: celebration,

A Green Christmas



Looks like we could have a green Christmas this year Which is great as long as it snows on that day, d'ya hear Just that special day Then melt all away Let's not go overboard, can't wait for spring to appear © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: hilarious,

Santa's Little Helper

Santa’s Little Helper

At the end of the ride on his sled
with Mrs clause naked in bed
he sought the ice melter
of his little helper
to arouse his surprise from the dead.



12/22/2014

submitted to A Quaintain Christmas
sponsor – Andrea Dietrich


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: depression,

After Christmas Let Down



The after Christmas “let down” is upon us All the hype is over, back to life's regular stuff Let's keep it alive Let happiness survive We can do it no matter how difficult or tough © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: christmas, humor,

What Cookies - for contest

What Cookies?

After too many hits off the bong
he knew something was drastically wrong
when the fire place log
barked like a dog
at a Santa Clause wearing a thong.


12/23/2014


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, sad

Money Not Love

Went to Wal-Mart to buy a Christmas ham
All I could find was a giant traffic jam
Near the toys__decorations
By my calculations
Come day after Christmas, dumpsters see cram


Poem Details | by Black Eyed Susan |
Categories: holiday, , 2nd grade,

ornament memories

I love decorating the Christmas tree
And lingering in ornament memories
A snowman I made
Back in 2nd grade
Reminds me of childhood glee and snow dreams  


11/14/11
Susan Burch