Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay...
He’s sleeping with his buxom P A
She confirmed she’s with child
Ted baulked, then got quite riled
I wonder what his wife’s got to say!
Travelling through life resembles an arc
We start out as a child emerging from the dark
To reach a crescendo
Establishing a tempo
Then sadly we all must eventually disembark
© Jack Ellison 2015
Our President wants us to see
A Justice as mean as can be
Pack tots in cages
Deny their mom wages
And tell them they'll never be free
I had an affair with a maid
Accustomed to doing as bade
Now she is with child
The wife has gone wild,
"Thats not how a maid should be paid!"
Once was a gal who felt so alone
Tornato came up rooted farms home
Landed on wicked witch
Munchkins came out of ditch
Gave dog lollypops instead of bone
There once was a lady with child
Whose appetite was usually mild
Now she had a tickle
For a chocolate covered pickle
Not getting it she would certainly go wild
There once was a child with a rattle
Who liked to crawl around cattle.
Till its mom found out
And to her ex did shout,
You just lost your custody battle.
I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”
Hiding in mummy's tummy, kicking happily away
I'm kissing you warmly, clapping and singing in play
They say in a few weeks
I'll be able to kiss your new cheeks
I can't wait for the morning I'll lift you in a sway
Eighty seems to be the transition age
When we revert back to a child like stage
We stomp our feet
No more sweet
It allows us the privilege to rant and rave
I've just had to give up and stop
wait for my blood pressure to drop
this long stream of fails
has broken my nails
whose idea was these child-proof tops?
You can only be young once, but you can always be immature
As long as you live, trust me, I know this to be fact for sure
I'm a prime example
A perfect sample
Of immaturity, you can surely be assured
Love lived in the hearts of Him and Her,
But distance shrouded fear over Her
And to punish Her reluctance
He gave another girl a chance
And she brought triplets nine months later.
WHO trashed this whole house and went wild?
WHAT? You let in the dog? He got riled?
WHEN was this? Where’s he at?
WHERE the heck is the cat??
Just WHY ever did I want a child?
There once was a girl named Ann
Who had a plan to get a man
For a while it was wild
Till he learned of her child
And that was the end of that plan
Once was a man named lefty Louie
Tried robbing corner store Oh phooey
Little did he come know
Ten sensei's Ready go
Here there nothing felt but Ka Pooey's
There once was a child from Canada
Who loved eating bananas,
He went to the zoo
Gave one to the roo,
Now the roo has a banana colored bandana
Copyright Cynthia Jones
When I was a child of nine
I thought I had all the time
Time to live and be happy
Time to fish with my pappy
But death had crossed the line
looked so mild,
but she was the mother
of another child.
she was the mother
of my other brother
she actually was real wild!
Copyright McCuen 2008
You took my money and our child
after divorce papers you filed,
I never did tell you
my life is not all blue...
I'm the film crew for Girls Gone Wild!!!
For "A valentine Limerick~ to your x-lover" contest sponsored by Sidney ~ LeeAnn.
is no good,
chop him up,
for fire wood.
a rhyme my mum used to sing to me when i was a child?
In my baby diaper i sang
Then motherly songs never slang
Lullaby welcomes me home meekly
In me lies hope boldly
But i still remain a child in the gang
Merry blue dressed Bob, the builder,
Please return my reddish toy rooster,
I’ll give you my toy elephant,
A bubbly grey buoyant infant,
He is a long nosy mister.
He was an unusual boy
Who thought Granny played with his toys
Granny thought it was so cute
She's his playmate in cohoots
Even though she is being coy___
There once was a child named Drew
Who did what his mom asked him to.
Except for the dishes
When they'd eat some fishes,
For then after meals he'd skiddoo.