Poem Details | by
Paul Callus |
Categories:
cat,
I had a black cat called Magoo
The slippers and clothes it would chew
This damaged its jaw
And broke every claw
Thank goodness I had super glue!
-----------------------------------
Furry Friend contest by Royal T.
Placed 6th
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Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, nonsense,
Granny had a yellow cat Matty Sand-arum
She was fond of Cherry Blossom and bubblegum
Cherry ached in her tummy
Bubble is double balmy
She yelled out scummy gummy and fell into the scum
Granny had a yellow cat/Limerick©Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty 18 November 2014
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Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, nonsense,
Doctor Squiddoo married a widow DooDoo
Booked a room in Perry of Huido Voodoo
In the honeymoon night
The moon was shining bright
And a fat black cat licked the ass of Squiddoo
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Poem Details | by
Alexis Y. |
Categories:
humor,
Today is voting day, I must make it a goal
I'd rather take up residence at the north pole
All the cat fighting
And name calling
To be honest ,I don't want neither one in control
11-8-16
Alexis Y
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Poem Details | by
Chris Green |
Categories:
humor, pets,
Neighborhood lunch
I once saw a cat very hyper
This fine feline needed a diaper
For when she would go
She put on a show
Meowing for someone to wipe her
She pranced through the yard just complaining
Her voice from meowing now straining
She started to leave
Not hard to believe
The small smelly package remaining
She couldn’t be bothered to bury
Not like other cats, don’t you worry
It’d stay in the yard
Until it got hard
And flies came around in a hurry
When up walked a dachshund named Rummy
Who liked when you rubbed on his tummy
He barked, “lookie there”
“My neighbor did share”
While licking his lips he howled “Yummy”
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Poem Details | by
jack horne |
Categories:
girlfriend,
I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all night...
for the Baggage contest
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Poem Details | by
James Horn |
Categories:
allegory, analogy,
Meow and Me and You
My mind reminded me of sound meow,
That a cat will do to both me and you;
Next does occur;
Hear him purr;
Guess what find friend, we have two.
They are tabby cats that are always
males.
Jim Horn
PSJack and Henry
This is my 3900th Poem.
Dedicated to: Akkina Downing
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Poem Details | by
Kevin Shaw |
Categories:
cat, fun, silly,
There was a Black Cat in Miami
There was a Black Cat in Miami
Whose owners were told he’s Siami
But he’s just a Black Cat
Nothing special about that
Disappointed those folks of Miami
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Poem Details | by
Caryl Muzzey |
Categories:
cat, tree,
I once had a gray cat that could clog
and was better than any old dog.
His feet work was fast
but stardom didn’t last
when he fell for this stunning tree frog.
My gray cat and tree frog was to wed
on night he was to dance for our bread.
He got very sick
when frog he did lick
was quiet toxic, now gray cat is dead.
When gray cat finally reached cloud nine
told gate keeper he was feeling fine.
Though he looked quite green
he captured the scene
when he clogged to the front of the line.
Copyright © 2011 By Caryl SMuzzey
Nineth Place Winner ~ "Any Funny Poem” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Destroyer Poet
Aug14, 2011
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Poem Details | by
john williams |
Categories:
children, funny,
Louise Gratton always wore a hat on,
Even on her bicycle when she sat on,
They were various colours and design,
Her millinery skills always fine,
Now she's making one to put her cat on.
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Poem Details | by
Joseph May |
Categories:
animal, cat,
There was a cat from the city
who thought she was purrfectly pretty
But a dog chased her down
Almost running her out of town
And that did upset Miss Kitty
You best be believin'
That Miss Kitty got even
She rounded up a cat posse
And they scratched up the doggie
Now the poor mutt is grievin'
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Poem Details | by
Gillian Hughes |
Categories:
animal, cat,
There was a large cat from Llanelli
Who was terribly fond of spaghetti
One day out of menace
He travelled to Venice
Where he dined in the sun on a jetty.
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Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
humorous,
A pet more exotic I'd wanted.
A pet to be groomed and then flaunted.
Not a dog or a cat -
Something cooler than that!
I began my search feeling undaunted
In a pet store I came on a ferret.
Such a pain he was! How did I bear it?
Under doors and through cracks
He'd escape from meAAAACH!!
So I traded him in for a parrot.
Well, the parrot just wanted to fly!
And that bird knew more bad words than I.
When he called me a whore,
I threw open the door:
“Now you’re getting your wish, BirdBYE BYE!
A boa constrictor I bought,
He’d like to be cuddled, I thought,
But he wrapped and he squeezed,
As I gasped and I wheezed,
And offered the rat that I’d caught.
A bowl of piranha I won -
I played Baccarat with a nun -
And they wiggled their bums,
So I tickled their tums,
But bones ’stead of fingers aint fun.
My elderly aunt sent a text,
Suggesting tarantulas next,
But my spider alas,
Took a bite of my ass:
My pet-owning hobby is hexed.
I went to the pet shop, I swear,
But nothing I wanted was there -
To my pets I am prey,
So I went on eBay,
And purchased a big teddy bear.
For the "Grab a Partner" ContestTo see
who I collaborated with, read my comment
under the poem.
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Poem Details | by
Sharon Smith |
Categories:
animal, cat, dog, food,
A dog and a cat and a flea,
All sat down to some tea,
They all ate some ham,
With some bread and some jam,
And were all as content as can be.
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Poem Details | by
James Fraser |
Categories:
animals, funny, nature
Did you hear about Ricky the Raccoon
Who found a cat who had swooned
He returned it back home
In case, dazed it did roam
His reward, a night on the toon
Francine posted an image on Facebook to write about, this is mine.
To see the image, copy and paste my link below and paste.
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-4.php
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Poem Details | by
Laura Leiser |
Categories:
cat, funny,
My Persian LICKS with abandon
A cat with a mission in hand'en
When suddenly he chokes
HAIRBALLS stuck in his throat
And upchucks over me where I'm standin'!
Written on 5/20/2015
For L&H Limerick Contest
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Poem Details | by
Rev. Rebecca Guile Hudson |
Categories:
animals, funny, holiday, husband,
She’s out there chasing a cricket
Through bush, through shrub & through thicket
Together they hop
Fugitive, cop
But when she gets it, she just wants to lick it!
A cat whose vet took his eye
Just cannot quite understand why
His eye’s been enucleated,
3-D vision reduciated,
So now, he keeps an eye out for an eye
Ya gotta keep limericks loose
Think green eggs, or perhaps DrSeuss
They’re structured, it’s true,
But they’re also a zoo
Whose tenants are all on the loose!
I frolic in fountains of words
Overflowing with serious absurds
Each poem I write
Wakes up and takes flight
Joining angels and faeries and birds
You ask that we write a good limerick
How to do so, I haven’t a glimmerick
So I struggle and frown
Teaching poems to clown
So a smile on your lips will be shimmerick
A cat with a mouth full of mouse
Brought her feast right into my house
She played with her food
Who was not in the mood
To be a banquet of mouse in the house
The nightmares that shadow my sleep
Stampede the proverbial sheep
Right out of my mind
When I try to unwind
I find my appointment with sleep hard to keep
In her search for original truth
She met people unsavory and couth
She knitted and purled
But only unfurled
Yarns told by new age and old youth
Cat, suddenly pink,
Drinks her water from out of the sink
She looks so absurd
Since she’s been de-furred
I really don’t know what to think!
If one and one is two and two is four,
And there’s only two ways to go through a door,
Then, is earth up or down?
And, where is down town?
These are questions we need to explore!
A was that is an is
Tried to mind my biz
But I sent it packing,
Its presence was lacking
And I don’t have time for such shiz!
A couple who lived in Los Lunas
Loved the wide desert sky’s crystal blueness
They’d stare at the air,
Over here, over there
And rejoice at the feeling of newness
A cat with a very fat gut
Found it easier to walk on his butt
He’d drag it around
Across carpet and ground
And use it to slam the doors shut
Said the Missus to her dear MrOtter,
“There’s something I think that you oughta
Do before we get old
To protect us from cold –
You oughta make the hot water hotter!”
The ghosts who live up in my attic
Make noises that sound much like static
I’ve tried to send them away,
But they’re here to stay,
Those staticky ghosts in my attic
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Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun,
Cool the snazzy cat stole a tiger's wife
Fed her a mix of kiss and Nutrilife
She was a tigress
And could not digress
From the logic of " kill cool without hype"
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Poem Details | by
john williams |
Categories:
children, funny,
I was teaching my cat to swim,
His pussy face looked so grim,
Dad said, "Make the lessons shorter,
you see cats just don't like water,
even so, I rate your chances slim."
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Poem Details | by
verlecia fields |
Categories:
death, me, me,
http://www.Bully Me This, Bully Me That
Who's Afraid of the undercover surveillance, informing, informational
informant, cool, low, down, dirty, Cat
why he has all the power and would never lie
that's why he's able to use the law
to badger me (harass : to exhaust an enemy by attacking repeatedly)
and fix it so i will die
where is the right and the wrong of my government
its seem to be all gone
or was it never there
why his game is so smooth, and yet so mean
you'd think, your the one
whit (with) a pocket full of dreams
but its not you mind full of colors
that he wants
its, the control of the mental
to make you want, what he
wants you to want
buy, sell, cheat, and lie
or eat and die
So whats, that got to do with you?
its time for you, to protect you, and figure it out...
or the next generation will
make many men rich, beyond rich..
PS..which way is just-us (more like just me!) poetrysoup.com/member_area/submit_poems.aspx
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Poem Details | by
Andrew Crisci |
Categories:
depression, friendship, funny, love,
I raised an Australian dingo,
no name came to mind but Ringo;
he jumped on me,
ripped my clothes daily...
it costed me plenty of money!
Only once I left him alone;
good grief..my furniture was torn!
Oh, should I be mad...
or be kind instead?
I'll sleep over it for tonight!
All Ringo did was run, bark and howl,
mistaking a small cat for an owl;
They took him away
to the zoo today;
he'll whimper form his cage, not rest!
I'll take him back, lest he behaves;
his lesson he'll learn: good manners!
Now, Ringo just stares
to earn forgiveness...
it's fun to play with him and laugh!
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Poem Details | by
Janet Eaton |
Categories:
cat,
There once was a cat named Lucky
Thrown from a car that was junky
With a broken jaw
And a broken paw
Now she is pretty much spunky
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Poem Details | by
JAN ALLISON |
Categories:
humorous, political, satire,
Some folks will be down in the dumps
Hillary lost … Donald came up trumps
Britain made their exit
They voted for Brexit
I have a question …are we all chumps?
JAN ALLISON
11~09~16
I think we're all sick of the status quo
They get rich and to us a bone they throw
Our vote reflects
Too much neglect
So let's cover our ears and enjoy the show
WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH
Nothing can kill an erection
Quiet like a Presidential Election
I limped to my room
Feeling the doom
But woke Okay with the national selection.
WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN
DUCK WINS! SALAMANDER CONCEDES!
It was a pretty heady do’in
But duck was good at poo’in
Plus loud quacks
And nasty attacks
Political skills for a shoo in
WRITTEN BY LIM'RICK FLATS
Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in spades
She conceded, his hand was well played
No more bickering
Nor cat fighting
America has voted, the choice was made
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
The vitriol flowed, the venom spewed
The gamut was run from nasty to rude
They covered their flaws
By flapping their jaws
At least neither showed up in the nude
WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS
That smirking skunk likes to blow his TRUMPet
And treat all women like they are strumpets
Oh for goodness sake
He's an evil snake
If there's a woman he says, "I'll hump it!"
WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND
Two taxpayers in Thomaston
Checked the donate a dollar box~ done
Many months now have been wooed
By two candidates pursued
Can't believe the smug smile cause he won
WRITTEN BY SARA KENDRICK
Lay in bed, watched TV, gripped in fear
As results on the screen all appeared
Thought 'Clinton', what a chump
Since I've woke woke with a trump'
She said 'yes, I can smell it from here'
WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY
All the white beer bellied rednecks are stump
Those are out of work that voted for Trump
Up in arms not with humor
Because there is a rumor
going around his cite taking a dump
Import a hundred- thousand to perk
Mexican immigrants smirk
To build his high brick wall,
The unmitigated gall
cheap economics and people to work
WRITTEN BY SONNY AND EVE ROPER
There was a candidate whose name was Trump
In the white house wanted to set up camp
With any chance that he found
Convinced everyone around
Thus people voted for the dirty tramp!
WRITTEN BY DEMETRIOS TRIFIATIS
The trumpet has now been blown
The king ascends to his throne
But who will pay the bail
When Hillary's in jail
We've entered the twilight zone
WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY
There once was a rich billionaire
Who took away the poors healthcare
Breeds hatred for Islam
He's a walking time bomb
The guys america's worse nightmare
WRITTEN BY STEPHEN PENNELL
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Poem Details | by
Anna Archichek |
Categories:
humor, internet,
Eight Cats and a Cucumber
In Facebook Land it is kinky, sexy, cheeky and hot
To send photographs to men whose wife you are not
Lay it all bare and let it all hang out
To insert cucumbers and pout
To show everyone what a ‘fun life’ that you’ve got
Without showing your real world which is anything but hot
Create a persona which makes the feckless gasp ‘Wow!’
As they, like you, don’t want to live in the here and now
So they rely on you to lead them on a merry dance
Even the Pied Piper of Hamelin is in a trance
But what of the wife?
Does she have a chance?
The best chance she’s got is to let them see first hand
The cat sh*t, the curry stains and the mess about the house
The opened Tramadol boxes, empty wine bottles and overflowing ashtrays
Which are somehow out of shot when the camera is having its way
And close up, the remains of your youth
Which has clearly seen better days
Because the reality is, my dear, you are 36
Which won’t improve with each private message
That you are unemployed, alone, single and blue
That’s what the prescription medication is for
So that you don’t have to look at you
To face the reality that not anyone of these men actually wants YOU
And without the wonderful caring tax payers
Who through benefits have paid your way (and your internet connection pay day) for far too long
You would be out on your ear, in fear, bar none
And all your eight cats would be gone
So massage that persona and pretended to be someone you are clearly not
As it might be the best chance you’ve got, to ever delude yourself that you’re someone that’s worth a jot
Because wife material you clearly are not,
And the sorry tale is that’s all you really want to be
But when they get there, look and see
The sight is enough to make them flee
So stay in Facebook Land where you are kinky, sexy, cheeky and hot
Because in reality that’s everything you’re not
|
Poem Details | by
gary bechter |
Categories:
childrenbird, bird, morning,
"Breakfast for two"
Callie the cat
climbed the cypress
curious for something to eat.
Benny the bird
perched on a branch
just a claw out of Callies reach.
Benny the bird
spied a round worm
snaking along the ground.
Few a-ground
went Benny the bird
and chowed the yummy thing down.
Now Benny the bird
sat licking his beak
enjoying his morning treat,
while Callie the cat
planned the attack
for too her morning treat;
Well Benny the bird
no longer around,
to see mornings a-new
For the squiggly round worm
that became a treat
was also breakfast for two...
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Poem Details | by
Abdulhafeez Oyewole |
Categories:
cat, character, culture, hilarious,
Scotland in Pawn's Dreams
A visit to Scotland in Pawn’s dreams
Means grinding and riding little steams
Bout clouds know how to mark
Send battered skin as stark
And then kitty cat walks in sunbeams
5/5/2014
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Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, , cute,
My cute cat Meenie laid an egg
It was very hazy and vague
Meenie laughed a little
Dad, the egg was brittle
In lovemaking he missed his leg
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Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
humor,
Felix was angry I could not blame the cat for that
Mr.Schrödinger should have opted for a clean bowler hat
His experiment was a chiller
Prussic acid was a sly killer
Felix could not endure the cheekiest quantum rat
But Mr.Erwin Schrödinger was a great digger of truth
He went straight to Huttenstrasse's " Who-will-bell-the-cat" booth
And He slurped his Irish Mooligan
Caught Patrick "Pat" Peter Sullivan
And put him in the black box and played qubit with Ruth
Sponsor Carol Eastman
Contest Name Humor Contest
14 January,2015
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Poem Details | by
Broken Wings |
Categories:
green,
On Saint Pat's day- this cat will be wearing,
A green coat and a green hat, towering;
Oh you will like my green bow,
And my green socks, I will show,
My human girl will wear green- quite (pinching)!
____________________________
March 16, 2016
Limerick
For the contest, Wearing Green
(pinch me and I'll pinch you back)
sponsor, A Skat
Sixth Place
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Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
animals, funny,
Simba's an ornery cat says the vet
During visits both get greatly upset
Simba grumbles and hisses
Not at me or the missus
But at the vet who ain't tamed him as yet
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, nonsense,
Hogg went to market and bought trouble an ounce
A seedy dog barked so bad he had to pounce
The dog puked a tabby cat
And the cat big Hardy hat
An ounce of common sense, brat, a dead cat bounce
|
Poem Details | by
Broken Wings |
Categories:
funny, humorous,
One dark night the fire alarm was screeching,
Stuffed bag dragging and the cat meowing;
A purse hanging off my neck,
Oh, I sure looked like a wreck;
In the parking lot people were staring!
____________________
April 25, 2015
Limerick
For the contest, Limerick, sponsor, Jan Allison
5th Place
Fifth Place
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
cat, fun, nonsense,
My little blue cat Bumbie
Found in the street a Frumbie
Frumbie was a beetle
Mischievously kittle
Kicked cat's ass like a brumby
My little blue cat/Limerick/ Copyright©Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty 11/18/2014
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Poem Details | by
Tahera Mannan |
Categories:
funnyold, old,
A wealthy old cat lover named Rover
To save money called his idlers over
Gave dough to his cats
Who became very fat
And slept under his bed and its cover
Once rich they became very slim
Enrolled in fanciest gym
Forgot about taxes
Enjoyed expensive waxes
'til their pile-o-change became dim
The tax man, obsessed with this cash flow
A miserly old fellow named Moe
was greatly shocked
His bottom rocked
To see the hep cats without any dough
Dedicated to Debbie Guzzi without whom this poem lacked its punch.
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, nonsense,
Katy dipped her tabby cat in the pot of brine
She was settled to make his fur silky and shine
But to her utter depression
Raising a pertinent question
The Tabby baby took wing to ride the cloud nine
|
Poem Details | by
Kathy Littrell |
Categories:
animals, funny, pets, cat,
A young robin my cat once befriended
Till one day the relationship ended
I came home to find
That my cat changed her mind
For from her mouth a feather extended
|
Poem Details | by
Katherine Stella |
Categories:
adventure, childhood, education, fantasy,
< once there was an old cat named chessur
only listened to alice for sure
but sometimes dissappeared
and left behind grins smear
so I've gone mad and shaved off hides fur
Entry For Debbie Guzzi's
Go Ask Alice Contest
G.LAll
|
Poem Details | by
Susan Palli |
Categories:
humorous, , cute,
There was a cute girl named Nadine,
Who loved to snatch things that were green.
An emerald she took
From Grandmother's nook
And thought what she stole wasn't seen.
Now Granny was simply amused
To see how Nadine's face changed hues.
She asked what was that
Inside of her hat
That looked like a ring she did lose.
Nadine then began to invent
A tale of the emerald's descent.
"The cat knocked it down.
It fell on my crown.
Been stuck in my hair ever since."
Well Granny could not be beguiled
From the looks of an "innocent" child
"Oh dear, it got snared?
Let's cut off your hair!",
Said she in a tone oh so mild.
Nadine shrieked, "Oh please don't do that!
It really was not the poor cat.
I took your grand ring
For the praises it'd bring.
I should not have acted like that!"
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Poem Details | by
David Fisher |
Categories:
cat, funny,
There’s a cat trainer named, Jack Jicks
Who teaches kitty cats, cat tricks
To pull off this feat
He gives them small sweets
And calls his plan, Tic Tac, tactics
|
Poem Details | by
Anna Hopper |
Categories:
silly,
Mary Jane enjoyed a good smoke
She was a cat who loved to toke
Yes indeed
She loved weed
Her downfall didn't come till coke
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, funny,
Meeni my cat was never white
She painted rouge and went to fight
With rat Palustris
And a bony fish
She looked black in the winter night
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, nonsense,
Drool the duck got mad at a bull and whacked up a bee
She was so bad she took the cat for a cup of tea
Cat was a mangler
Upcountry wrangler
Peeved the duck with the muck and mucked her up with a pee
DROOL THE DUCK: Limerick: copyright© RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY November 2014
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Poem Details | by
Gail Foster |
Categories:
cat, death, fantasy, fear,
There once was a white cat I knew
Who had feathers; a ghost cat who flew
Through the shimmering streams
Of the moon’s silver beams
Leaving slain doves in the dew
by Gail
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humorous,
How about that just sat on our cat
She screeched bloody murder, so sorry bout that
Love this dear sweetie
Made me all weepy
With my hulking big body, I squished our cat flat
© Jack Ellison 2015
|
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
firework,
There once was a mean man named Gregory
Who was famous for disgusting feats of treachery
Set fire to a cat
While it burned he just sat
As the cat was launched on an airborne trajectory
© Jack Ellison 2015
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, funny, nonsense,
Sue and King were just married
In the night they were harried
By the cat and mouse
In their grave top house
Where they were freshly buried
Winter lizards are henpecked
Don’t trust them if they are baked
When clock strikes ten at night
They gather guts to fight
The fried fleas in the plate caked
In Eden there was a thief
He planned to steal Eve’s fig leaf
He burglarized the house
Pounced on Adam’s spouse
And he found a mound of beef
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, funny,
The cat had a hunch and she got her wish
She hunched her back and jumped on a side dish
The dish had to diffuse
And he croaked out the news
"Cat,You're a bit odd; sort of a queer fish."
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
cat, fun, humor, nonsense,
My little squid Urian was blue
One day she vanished without trace no clue
I called my cat Binger
Fed him a fish finger
He confessed he took blue for a glue
Urian/Limerick Copyright © Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty 20 November 2014
|
Poem Details | by
Gert W. Knop |
Categories:
animals
A boy had a spider called Bill
which gave his sister always a chill
one day a cat came into their house
but instead of catching a mouse
she had eaten up poor little Bill
For Jon's Limerick-Contest
|
Poem Details | by
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories:
fun, humor, nonsense,
Kyd my cat played hooky from giddy-up to whoa
I had to send him to the land of Mauna Loa
He changed from bad to worse
By debits to my purse
"Papa","I am Cavity the cat boana boa"
KYD MY CAT/Limerick/fun/humor/nonsense/cat/
Copyright© RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
11/20/2014
|