Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny,
Zoo Limerick
A struggle ensued at the zoo
when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.
Leo tried to attack,
but Jack fired right back:
"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"
For Geraldine Taylor's The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version
Written by
Paul Callus
Categories:
cat,
Mr Magoo
I had a black cat called Magoo
The slippers and clothes it would chew
This damaged its jaw
And broke every claw
Thank goodness I had super glue!
-----------------------------------
Furry Friend contest by Royal T.
Placed 6th
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
animal,
A Bossy Old Cow - For Contest
A bossy old cow in the street
was rolling while licking its teat!
When it howled like a cat,
I thought: What’s up with that?
Can bossy old cows be in heat?
Inspired by both a poem and the limerick contest of Jan Allison
Written by
Sandra Haight
Categories:
cat, water,
Kitten's Revenge
Oh dear, no! To that bath place I go!
In that sink to be drenched head to toe!
Into devil, I turn
In my hell, you will burn-
This mad kitten's revenge you will know!
February 19, 2016
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny
Raccoon's Baby Sittin' Service
MrsCat, I'm bringing back your kitten
I'm completely done with baby sittin'
She cried all day
Not worth the pay
And , so sorry, we couldn't find her mitten
For the "Tell Me About It " contest
Written by
Jack Horne
Categories:
girlfriend,
Miss Wrong With Plenty of Baggage
I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all night...
for the Baggage contest
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
silly,
Bodily Functions
Love bodily functions, no question bout that
Sometimes my best ones even frighten the cat
They climb up a pole
It can sure take its toll
Some end up cross eyed unable to nap
Written by
Kevin Shaw
Categories:
cat, fun, silly,
There Was a Black Cat In Miami
There was a Black Cat in Miami
There was a Black Cat in Miami
Whose owners were told he’s Siami
But he’s just a Black Cat
Nothing special about that
Disappointed those folks of Miami
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade,
Cousin Bell
Cousin Bell moved into a maisonette,
Was promptly told she could not have a pet
Not a cat or dog
Not a fish or frog
What about a gorilla she just met?
Written by
Robert Gorelick
Categories:
cat, humor,
Kept Cat
Kept Cat
You called me your dream bird, now it's too late
We'd fly off in bliss, our purr-fect dream date
I deemed you my winner
you deemed me your dinner
How does it feel to be my kept cat, mate?
Written by
Ralph Protsik
Categories:
animal, dog, humor,
The Mutt
A mutt may show up with a rat
Do some terrible things to your hat
But he’s happy for sure
Just to roll in manure
And so grateful that he’s not a cat
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
psychological,
Ink Well
A poet was trying to think
When her cat tipped over the ink
As she tried to blot
Each puddle and dot
She discovered the missing link
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
cat,
Cat Contradiction
There’s a kitty I have that is white.
When I pet him, he purrs with delight.
Then directly he goes
with his mouth to my nose
and with tiny sharp teeth gives a bite!
Nov 5, 2022
For Tania Kitchin's A Funny Limerick - Make Me Laugh Poetry Contest
Written by
Judy Ball
Categories:
animal, cat,
Three Cats In a House
Three cats did share the same house.
Two sweet but one was a grouse.
Two got along great but the third t'was love/hate.
But there isn't a mouse in the house.
Written by
Silent One
Categories:
fun, humor,
Queen of her stage
There once was a canary full of rage.
Who shrewdly trapped a sly cat in her cage.
Without a feather ruffled
and Kittie's meows muffled,
she now ruled the roost, as queen of her stage!
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
bird, cat,
Cat Bungler
It’s just a tiny squeeze she said
It’s okay once you’re past your head
It opens wide
Once you’re inside
I think I might have been misled
Written by
Robert Gorelick
Categories:
animal, cat, funny, humor,
Pleasingly Plump
Pleasingly Plump
Obese, bloated, overwrought with contrition
Lainey hung a chart of each yoga position
Couldn’t deal with stretching
Mice she’s still fetching
She defies my lectures on nutrition
Written by
Joe Flach
Categories:
animals
The Meerkat
There is a strange animal in our zoo called a meerkat
That makes me laugh every time I look at
Although “kat” is in its name
It’s no feline just the same
So you can say the meerkat is no mere cat.
Written by
Janet Eaton
Categories:
cat, funny, horror,
The Cat and the Rat
There once was Princess the cat
Who found a big fat hairy rat
She brought it in to play
But mother said no way
And found her a very big metal bat
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny,
Hat Crazy
Louise Gratton always wore a hat on,
Even on her bicycle when she sat on,
They were various colours and design,
Her millinery skills always fine,
Now she's making one to put her cat on.
Written by
James Marshall Goff
Categories:
animals
Homer the House Cat
He called himself Homer the house cat
And mostly ate tuna with pork fat
After lunch he'd meow
'Nearly upchuck his chow!
And grin like an overstuffed wombat!
Written by
Gillian Hughes
Categories:
animal, cat,
Pasta Cat
There was a large cat from Llanelli
Who was terribly fond of spaghetti
One day out of menace
He travelled to Venice
Where he dined in the sun on a jetty.
Written by
Sharon Smith
Categories:
animal, cat, dog, food, children,
A Dog and a Cat and a Flea
A dog and a cat and a flea,
All sat down to some tea,
They all ate some ham,
With some bread and some jam,
And were all as content as can be.
Written by
Joseph May
Categories:
animal, cat,
Hello Kitty
There was a cat from the city
who thought she was purrfectly pretty
But a dog chased her down
Almost running her out of town
And that did upset Miss Kitty
You best be believin'
That Miss Kitty got even
She rounded up a cat posse
And they scratched up the doggie
Now the poor mutt is grievin'
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
giggle, humor, night, old, silly,
night cat
cats in my neighborhood agree
there is something youd like to see
if you stay out all night
and meow until light
a man with a club climbs a tree.