Limerick Poems About Business | Business Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: work,

The Dandee Donuts Guy

A tall and short-tempered fat man was a boss I once had named Dan. Both his kids and his wife worked there tooOh, what strife! They fought like a hillbilly clan. Dandee Donuts was Dan's small café. I served donuts and meals for small pay, wore a stupid hair net and what small tips I'd get growing fat on free donuts each day! A “yeller” was Dan; a disgrace! He’d scream and get red in the face. If his business slowed down, he’d say, “Don’t stand around. Take a rag and wipe down the whole place!” In spite of Dan’s awful ways, he said he’d sure like to sponsor me as Miss Muscatine. I said, “What do you mean? Your food’s made me fatCan’t you see?”
(I chose the second one here for the contest. Did I make the right choice?)


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: happiness, life, peace,

Ode to occupy wall street

The middle class here can't be saved
When 0.001% act so depraved
Their wealth without end
These royals* still pretend
Did not come from us—their 
enslaved**


*The Royals: CEOs, Banksters, Revolving Door Regulators, The FED, Congressmen for sale, Lobbyists, Board Members of Big Corporations, Major Shareholders who vote for these Board 
Members, Corrupt Managers, Dishonest Used Car Salesmen, Presidential Candidates with more than two Residences, Elected Presidents (and their lackeys who pretend to regulate but look the other way)

**The Enslaved: Workers, Career Regulators who are trying to protect the public, Honest Hard Working Citizens, Students--some with oppressive loans, Immigrants, Soldiers, Police, Firemen and Firewomen, Parents, Children, Orphans, Disabled, The Sick, Small Business Owners (who don’t hire lobbyists), Volunteers, Health Care Workers, Welfare Recipients, Inventors, Investors, Entrepreneurs, Actors, Artists, Journalists who do in-depth investigation (not like those with FOX News, ABC Radio or many other of the outlets where they mouth the status quo), Non Profit Corporations, Charities, Teachers, Transportation Workers, Waiters and Waitresses, Dishwashers, Servants, Farmers, Managers, Ship Hands, Cooks, Unemployed   

Author' s Note:  Have been at Occupy Wall Street 8 days in the past two months--which is why I haven't been here--plus I have to work Miss you all, but it's for a good cause I am very briefly seen on Conan's feature: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Occupy Wall Street if you are looking for some humor with a little umph.


Poem Details | by Robert A. Dufresne |
Categories: funny

IRS Business Audit

There was a madam who had a business in Shire,
In the oldest profession, she was for hire,
Alas, the tax people came,
But she didn’t think the same,
Because soon she wanted to retire.

She cried, “I have no savings; surely you jest,
Even the IRS can’t tax my breasts!
I just had them installed!
Aren’t you enthralled?
I bet you would never even guess!”

"Madam, even though your 401k,
Is in your ample breasts to stay,
I can see by your guests,
It still generates interest,
And for that you’ll have to pay!"





Poem Details | by Deirdre Omaidin |
Categories: funnyday,

Alice Mulligan


Alice Mulligan hailed from Killsoul
A red head who had a strange role
A brothel, she ran
Till one day a strange man
Sent Miss Mulligan right up the pole.

She couldn't believe her bad luck
She thought she'd managed to duck
An enormous erection
Escaped her protection
Poor Alice, she just ran amuck.

Day by day our Alice grew bigger
T'was a mystery who was the trigger
Now her business was finished
And Alice diminished
Thus ending her vim and her vigour.



entry for Deborah Guzzi's  Limerick competition   A young man who came from 
~Dunkirk


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: for children, funny,

Candle Maker

Candle maker Iva Bentwick's
business couldn't take a trick,
So he changed his name
to one not so lame,
Now business is pretty slick.


alternate last line:     Now many candles are being lit.


Poem Details | by iolanda Scripca |
Categories: funny, husband,

Woman-Owned Business Maker

Self-employed and partner in life
He "hired" some other guy's wife
Making golfing balls
Now he has two holes
My new business ?...Surgical Knives...

for Carolyn Devonshire's "Horrible Bosses"


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: allegory, business, funny, humorous,

Tone it down to ''at least for the duration''

Time does our earth presence sever
But the post office is clever  
And offers for sale
For its eternal mail  
A stamp that is good forever


Author's note: The idea that anything associated with this planet will be consumed "forever" is peculiar and laughable It is also destructive in that business holds the truth in shadows.


Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: clothes, funny,

Leaf Briefs

Underwear used to be a fig leaf
Then somebody invented the brief
I think it’s absurd
To name it that word
I mean, what’s briefer than a leaf?

Was it named by a white collar thief?
Like a lawyer who longed to be chief?
I could see his purport
When he said in court
“Your Honor, I’ll make this brief, brief, brief.”

“First of all, I would not use a leaf
As our skivvies’ business motif.”
He then rests his brief case
And picks up his briefcase
That held leafs of briefs, and the chief’s briefs.


Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny

Avoiding the IRS

There once was a woman  named Roxanne
Who had sex with many a fine man
She charged a big fee
And made them agree
To never disclose the business she ran


For Deb's contest...


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny

The View in France

On his business trip, Pete saw burlesque
and daily phoned home from his work desk.
When asked once or twice
if the view there was nice,
he said, “Dear, France is most picturesque!”


For "Burlesque Boutique" 
Sponsored by Miranda Lambert


Poem Details | by POET. UNDERTAKER |
Categories: humor,

Diamond,the sardar


Once there was man called Diamond, the sardar
a CEO,who takes business well above break-even at deep crisis
Not by selling immovable assets
Nor by selling intellectual property assets
Bloody a talent worth appreciation!


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur

Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur

Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur*
Set up shop (O!) Brahmin virtue pure
No hungry customers
Knocked past the front shutters
Though brisk business raged at rear door.

•	Brahmin enclave in Chennai, Tamil-Nadu, India.
Brahmins were not vegetarians from antiquity.

© TWignesan – Paris, 2013


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: new year,

Obnoxious



The New Year's celebrations are over Back to business as usual, regain our composure No more acting like a louse Being obnoxious around the house No more excuses for acting like our dog Rover © Jack Ellison 2016


Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: business,

Person from Porlock


A person on business from Porlock 
stopped by Nether Stowey for to talk 
He there spoke with a man 
who told him, "Kubla Khan, 
but right now he is out on his walk."


Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny, holidayvalentines day, girl,

A Pricey Valentine

My valentine ever to be.
The girl of my dreams came to me.
   She wanted to play
   so I had to pay.
Satisfaction is guaranteed
 
My valentine's price was too much.
Her business kept all men in touch.
   Appointments were made
   Men met in the shade.
A call girl I found out as such!  

My valentine's not what she said.
I found out her heart was not red.
   She took all I had.
   But man she was bad.
Was worth it I took her to bed!! 


Written for Francine Roberts Valentine's Day Limerick


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: computer-internet

Super Dooper Computers

Computers are around us everyday 
Some help us, whilst others let us play
No matter our ages
They can put us in rages
As they carry on with their display

They have been here for many a year
Sumerian abacus, engineered
Even a textile loom
Made this business boom
Which brought us to the modern ones near

They come in all shapes and forms
In our lives, on our wrists their adorned
Even the time they can tell
From their chip like cell
When they work, it's great, they perform

So without them we'd be awfully lost
Although our tempers can become crossed
To them I'll never condemn
Terrific silicon gems
One day us humans will be bossed


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: new year,

Try Not To Cuss



Another new year will soon be upon us What resolutions have you made that'll all go bust Each year same thing We soon lose that zing And it's business as usual, try not to cuss © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Marlene Murray |
Categories: funny, people,

Name Fame

Two brothers of stature and wit
A business to start, they'd commit.
The desire for fame
Was in their last name
Now Two-Morrows a work in profit!


Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny, holiday,

SANTA CLAUSE


That Santa Clause with his Big Belly
He only laughing at all ah we,
With all his HO HO HO
As if I don't know,
That all the stores want is we money.


He thinks it's a joke, I tell you so
Him and his Wife and Elves do know,
And the more He deceive
Is the more we believe,
And Business men raking in the dough.


So Santa you better take a break
I don't have a job, for goodness sake,
So no milk and cookies
They will give cavities,
This Christmas Eve we're staying awake.


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: animals, satire

The Great Decision

Five vow to be corporate wench
To twist votes with their monkey wrench
The freed business fist
Full of money--they've kissed!
Gives Robert's court bench quite a stench

Moneyed pigs love this press release
Their chunks of great wealth must increase!
These skunks gorge and snort
Their ads—thanks Supreme Court— 
Are greed that’s been freed and won’t cease


Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: business, food, humor,

Big Bertha

Big busty Bertha was at the business luncheon,
with everyone talking business and munching,
suddenly she let out a big sneeze,
everyone thought it was a striptease,
when in fact it was just a wardrobe malfunction.


Poem Details | by Earl Schumacker |
Categories: abuse, character, conflict, corruption,

2 Presidential - Limericks

             Presidential - Limericks

A builder once changed from his station
Became leader of the free nation  
The news media labeled him fake                                        
President Trump stayed up very late
Tweeting “You're fired” with no explanation



The Press followed Trump by the dozens
Holding his feet to the fire, were gluttons
Searching for scandals and sin 
Is the business they're in
We pray they don't push the wrong buttons


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

Disgust for Trump

Disgust for Trump

Trump had to do what he must
Which is no one ever trust
Does poor when he gambles
Whole business is in shambles
With him do have much disgust.

James Horn

I am beginning to believe it.
What next will he select to do?



Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: stress,

Bob Loblaw



Robert Loblaw's business name was quite apropos Called it “Bob Loblaw's In-laws Law & Co.” A tongue twister test Find it hard to digest? Well imagine the mind that came up with this, whoa!