Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick
Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick
His red nose was gleaming
Blue eyes they were streaming
I hope that Santa will give him some Vick
24th December 2014
Santa's red cap is turning blue
his nose running with Christmas flu
and the Doctor's advice
was "it will be nice,
wrap the gifts with natural glue."
If I were an elephant
I would marry my mahout man
Would fly very high
Up in the blue sky
Then fall down in a skeleton
On her nightdress candlelight flickers
While underneath she wears blue knickers
Grandpa recalls Kentucky
The last time he got lucky
Grandma just rolls her eyes and snickers
May 19, 2019
for Tania Kitchin's Bawdy Limericks Contest
Who am I?
My heart, it always cries
I guess I will never really know
which way does water flow?
who am I?
A blue footed Booby called Dougal
had a beak that was shaped like a bugle
so it may have looked funny
but it held all his money
that Booby named Dougal was frugal.
11th September 2018
For contest 'Animal Limerick', sponsor Charles Messina
The British sky is seldom blue
And love divine is seldom true
But come on, girl!
Give life a whirl
There'll never be another you!
A place that gives wings to my dreams
And hushes my fears, worries and screams
Where I’d develop stronger wings to fly
Rising so higher, touching the blue sky
That I dream and pray it ends not as dream
Written by Gail DeBole
The white-handed Gibbon swung high
but he still was too young to fly
through the air between trees
'til along came a breeze
which carried him through clear blue sky.
The pastor was feeling quite blue,
Pennies on his plate were few,
So he gave a blazing rendition
On the church's tithing tradition
And the pennies on his plate soon grew.
I'm just about deaf because of me wife,
Her very loud voice has caused all the strife,
It always goes up an octave or two
When she thinks I've made an incredible blue,
Trouble is I've been making mistakes all of me life.
Football is my favourite sport
The two below are whom I support
Rangers and Everton, my teams
When they win I so beam
This game of games I import
I found a new joy that's beyond explanation
A friendship so real, I make this proclamation
One that's so true
A real true blue
Quickly gave into the overpowering temptation
© Jack Ellison 2015
Pinocchio’s wife had it good
She’d thank lucky stars if she could
For you see in the change
The Blue Fairy arranged
To leave the guy plenty of wood
a beautiful love shared by two
bound in Gods word near the ocean of blue
happiness did begin
together until the end
as she softly whispered "I Do"
Poet Rick Parise
A little blue pill called Viagra
helps horny old men in Niagra.
So women beware,
anyone with a pair
is thinking of how he can shag ya.
There once was a sports game called football.
Where the players knew how to trip and fall.
They were clumsy it's true.
You see they wore Panther's blue.
And the coach never knew what to call.
*for Royal Trevino's "My favorite sport (Limerick)" contest
Republican fountain flows black
on blue seas metamorphic rock,
draining the earth’s core dry.
Greed streams while oceans cry.
The sea is sick but I’m shell shocked.
Sally went to a wedding its true
was told to wear something that's blue
so she wore panties with lace
should see the look on their face
when she took them off in the loo
Like sheep on a steep rocky slope,
We need to have guidance to cope.
We might fall and slide down
To the sea and all drown.
Heed the ShepherdHe’s our only hope.
To sing a song charming and sweet
what I need is handful of wheat,
guess who am I
love that blue sky
not in the Twitter still can tweet!
Placement:9th; (October 2011)
Spring training is starting way down south
This is the year, “Go Blue Jays” we'll shout
All the way to the Series
World Champs my dearies
Finally since 1992, a big celebration we'll flout
Today I had the chance to hold "the blue from rio",
A blue bird on a skateboard you should meet and know,
A fancy parrot from the happy meal kid's land,
Preening all his gorgeous feathers on his wheeled stand,
Visit the happy meal site! Join his feathered flow.
The discounts are now quite a few
And cause for a feeling that's blue
It's true--what a drag
As the parts start to sag
A bonus for age sixty-two
The stable's my favorite spot
I can walk jump cantor and trot
With horse--my friend true
I take ribbons of blue
For the cost of owning a yacht!