They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick
My friend Quigley likes to sing
Really almost any thing.
But once her high note
Caused a blackbird to float,
Back down to earth less one wing.
Sue decided to send Jim a tweet
She used words that were quite indiscreet
Calling him a fat turd -
(Using another word)
Their romance has taken a back seat!
There was a duck down on his luck
Who froze in the back of a truck
When found back in town
They said with a frown
There was not enough down on the duck!
Oh honey I'm sure we are sinking
the tides coming in I am thinking
but then love is above all
did I hear a love bird call?
No it’s the mud in my eye winking.
© Harry J Horsman 2020
The Cattle Egret is a bird
That chooses to follow the herd
Because it can't find
A girl who is kind
Or a man as good as his word
God Created Things With Wings
God had created things with wings,
And the best out of us always brings;
Like a lamb,
When we will hear a bird that sings.
I love things in nature that flock and herd
yet as a birdwatcher my lens gets blurred.
Not in the forest's deep far reach
but with my spyglass at the beach
eyein' the tanned large breasted booby bird!
There once was a gal named Lucy,
Who had a beloved pet goosey.
The goose learned to fly,
Which made Lucy cry,
Now there's no more Lucy's goosey.
For Blackeyed Susan's limerick contest
A birdsnest hairdo
Birds sit in the dew
Said the bird, "let us fly!"
Said the other, "lets sing a lullaby!"
So they flew overtop singing and did
big do do!
There was a young man from Tarrot,
Who fed his green bird some carrot,
It preferred it to seed
When it came time to feed,
Now he has a bright orange parrot.
There once was a Bird named Cher
who's resolution was not to swear
she duct taped her beak
where not a word could leak
and fluttered her wings in prayer
Said a bee to a bird , we can't fail ,
With your sweet sexy song , bang-in-scale
When I'm lovin' you..please
Don't fart , belch or sneeze
'Cause there might be a sting in the tail
Macho Bee had a really big stinger.
Lady Bird, when aroused, was a singer.
When they heard her loud COO,
all the wood creatures knew
that first date must have been a humdinger!
For Royal Trevino's Birds and Bees Contest
and now for Nathan's Limerick Race Contest.
There was a hungry saddle-billed stork,
That went for a wading walk,
With his long stout bill
He caught fish at will,
It sure made the other birds gawk.
Mused the owl roosting on a pine tree shoot,
"My colleagues think I'm not very astute,
But I wisely perch in pines,
Not on hot transmission lines!
If they singe their butts I don't give a hoot!"
What flies though the air up above
Disguised as a peace seeking dove
For those who've not heard
Drones can send you the bird
From the land of brotherly love
Author's note: Is this really how to win friends and influence people (for the long term)?
He sat on his tree to think
But the smell below was so rank
He's only a bird
Can't speak a word
Oh, how much those humans stink!
My poor little dickie bird once confided in me
He'd give anything if he could only be free
A zipper, to his chagrin
Keeps dear dickie within
So when I look down he's not staring back at me
© Jack Ellison 2015
Today I had the chance to hold "the blue from rio",
A blue bird on a skateboard you should meet and know,
A fancy parrot from the happy meal kid's land,
Preening all his gorgeous feathers on his wheeled stand,
Visit the happy meal site! Join his feathered flow.
Samantha scampered up a tree
To see whatever she might see.
So far up did she boost
An old owl came to roost
On Sammy's precarious knee.
Wes Wilson wore a toupee
which cost him a month's pay.
Then one night
it took flight
when spotted by a bird of prey.
Once was robin-bird
Acted quite absurd
Bombed friend once; did it twice
Gall to even mark her thrice!
Don't care to explain what heard!
There was a pirate whose parrot could talk
What happened to it was such a big shock
At the captain it swore
Poor old thing seen no more
Aaargh! Down the plank he forced it to walk
Oh there once was a bird in the sky
Till he said " I am Hungry Oh MY!"
He hopped on the ground
Till a fat worm was found
Then he swallowed it up with a sigh.