They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick
My friend Quigley likes to sing
Really almost any thing.
But once her high note
Caused a blackbird to float,
Back down to earth less one wing.
Sue decided to send Jim a tweet
She used words that were quite indiscreet
Calling him a fat turd -
(Using another word)
Their romance has taken a back seat!
There was a duck down on his luck
Who froze in the back of a truck
When found back in town
They said with a frown
There was not enough down on the duck!
The Cattle Egret is a bird
That chooses to follow the herd
Because it can't find
A girl who is kind
Or a man as good as his word
God Created Things With Wings
God had created things with wings,
And the best out of us always brings;
Like a lamb,
When we will hear a bird that sings.
I love things in nature that flock and herd
yet as a birdwatcher my lens gets blurred.
Not in the forest's deep far reach
but with my spyglass at the beach
eyein' the tanned large breasted booby bird!
There once was a gal named Lucy,
Who had a beloved pet goosey.
The goose learned to fly,
Which made Lucy cry,
Now there's no more Lucy's goosey.
For Blackeyed Susan's limerick contest
A birdsnest hairdo
Birds sit in the dew
Said the bird, "let us fly!"
Said the other, "lets sing a lullaby!"
So they flew overtop singing and did
big do do!
There was a young man from Tarrot,
Who fed his green bird some carrot,
It preferred it to seed
When it came time to feed,
Now he has a bright orange parrot.
There once was a Bird named Cher
who's resolution was not to swear
she duct taped her beak
where not a word could leak
and fluttered her wings in prayer
Said a bee to a bird , we can't fail ,
With your sweet sexy song , bang-in-scale
When I'm lovin' you..please
Don't fart , belch or sneeze
'Cause there might be a sting in the tail
Macho Bee had a really big stinger.
Lady Bird, when aroused, was a singer.
When they heard her loud COO,
all the wood creatures knew
that first date must have been a humdinger!
For Royal Trevino's Birds and Bees Contest
and now for Nathan's Limerick Race Contest.
Mused the owl roosting on a pine tree shoot,
"My colleagues think I'm not very astute,
But I wisely perch in pines,
Not on hot transmission lines!
If they singe their butts I don't give a hoot!"
There was a hungry saddle-billed stork,
That went for a wading walk,
With his long stout bill
He caught fish at will,
It sure made the other birds gawk.
He sat on his tree to think
But the smell below was so rank
He's only a bird
Can't speak a word
Oh, how much those humans stink!
What flies though the air up above
Disguised as a peace seeking dove
For those who've not heard
Drones can send you the bird
From the land of brotherly love
Author's note: Is this really how to win friends and influence people (for the long term)?
Today I had the chance to hold "the blue from rio",
A blue bird on a skateboard you should meet and know,
A fancy parrot from the happy meal kid's land,
Preening all his gorgeous feathers on his wheeled stand,
Visit the happy meal site! Join his feathered flow.
Samantha scampered up a tree
To see whatever she might see.
So far up did she boost
An old owl came to roost
On Sammy's precarious knee.
There was a pirate whose parrot could talk
What happened to it was such a big shock
At the captain it swore
Poor old thing seen no more
Aaargh! Down the plank he forced it to walk
Once was robin-bird
Acted quite absurd
Bombed friend once; did it twice
Gall to even mark her thrice!
Don't care to explain what heard!
My poor little dickie bird once confided in me
He'd give anything if he could only be free
A zipper, to his chagrin
Keeps dear dickie within
So when I look down he's not staring back at me
© Jack Ellison 2015
Wes Wilson wore a toupee
which cost him a month's pay.
Then one night
it took flight
when spotted by a bird of prey.
Oh there once was a bird in the sky
Till he said " I am Hungry Oh MY!"
He hopped on the ground
Till a fat worm was found
Then he swallowed it up with a sigh.
There was a love bird named Bill
he liked to sun on the sill
he was so charming
until he had a big spill