Limerick Poems About Birds | Bird Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Why Pa Ain't Pet Sittin' No More

While Ma was away, Pa lost Tweety
while pet-sittin’ for his friend Petey.
Then at dinnertime, Ma
said, “I’m so sorry, Pa,
but this bird I found ain’t very meaty!”

Another time, it was a frickin’
frog he lostWhile pa was lickin’
his chops over dinner,
Ma beamed, “What a winner!
That frog I found tastes just like chickin.”

Another time “Hillbilly Jake”
Asked Pa to please watch his pet snake.
Ma was out of the loop;
saw that snake and made soup.
It was more than her husband could take.

Pa hollered out, “What’s wrong with you?
Every pet I sit ends up as stew!”
“Keep your eye on them critters,
or they’ll end up as fritters.
I’m not here,” Ma said, “runnin’ no zoo.”



Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

Black-Water Blues

Diz Cajonne dey call Thibodaux
Paddle dis girl in his Pirogue
Den he see dem unmention
Dad tool stan at attention
She slap him stick HARD doncha' know

Dad pole shrink awful fas he yell whoa!
Sha, whad did you swat dad ting fo?
Now it at parade rest
Like diz bird in a nest
She-say-"I-scared-a'-dem-SNAKE-buddy-ohh!"

PD's contest


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humorous,

Dead Animals are Everywhere

"Oh, honey," he cried on the phone,
"It's terrible being alone.
I'm feeling the blues,
and I have some strange news"
He went on and on with a moan.

"I went to the back yard one day,
not too long after you'd been away.
Do you know what I found
everywhere on the ground?
Can you guess what I'm going to say?"

"No clue," I said"Why don't you share?"
"Dead animals are everywhere!"
If he'd not shouted,
I may have doubted,
but then he said, "Baby, I swear."

I was taken aback, so I said,
"There are animals? And they are dead?
What kind might they be?
Tell me how many?"
Just to think of it gave me some dread.

Since it sounded so terrifying,
I thought what a terrible thing.
Had our yard become scary
like the pet cemetery
I had read of by novelist King?

Were they poisoned? Were there rabbits too?
In the back of my mind I just knew
that his tale was too tall.
I was not wrong at all.
As it turned out, the number was two!

For I called up my daughter who said
she had gone there; what she saw instead
of some big horror show
was just her dad Joe
with one snake and one bird that were dead!

Written July 1, 2016 :  True story with a bit of exaggeration making hubbie look wussyBut I'm not far off the mark!! This happened a long time ago when I had gone to a family reunion and left hubbie alone for a week!! Our daughter was newly married and went to the house to see all the "dead animals everywhere"  For the Tell a Tall Tale Contest of Jesse Day



 


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: places,

Limericks for Utah's State Flag and Bird

To their government Utah is true -
Not just state, but the federal too,
and so with great pride
they display on each side
of their flag the old Red, White and Blue.

Also famous for their industry,
Utah honors the cute bumble bee,
of which I now brag.
Center stage on their flag
is the hive of the bee….naturally!

On Utah’s state flag is an eagle -
The symbol of peace, it is regal!
Pioneers, though, preferred,
a more interesting bird.
Why not on the flag is a seagull?

Most Utahans should know the story.
Long ago, crickets tried to destroy
the crops, till each gull
in Salt Lake ate them all!
That bald eagle has stolen gull’s glory!

Now a monument in Salt lake stands
for the sea gull, and isn’t it grand
that a bird that should be
living nearby the sea
is in love with a dry desert land!

Written by Andrea Dieitrich
July 22, 2015 for the contest of Judy Konos

NOTE:  Came back here to say it's Pioneer Day (July 24)Utah is the only state to celebrate itI can hear fireworks outside my house!!


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny

Cuckoo Clocks

Cuckoo clocks are quite ornate it is said

     But those raucous squawks we suffer with dread

          Why could not its designer

               Have found a bird much finer

                    Like a sweet trilling canary instead

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No5 in Brian Strand's "Five Lines Down" Contest - May 2011


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: tribute,

Connie Marcum Wong

              My dear friend Connie Marcum Wong planted a rainbow tree
                   Under Luna's night she wrote a God's Kind Of Poetry
                              Embracing mother Earth she stood
                                In life's garden- bird in a wood
                    Laid golden eggs in silver beds for all of us for free









A Tribute to Connie Marcum Wong,Moon Maiden of Poetry


Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny, happiness,

LANCE THE DANCER


There once was a guy whose name was Lance
And all this man loved to do was dance,
If you beat on a drum
Or just twiddle your thumb,
Lance would jump up and he'd start to prance.


He danced from morning into the night
He'd leap in air like a bird in flight,
He never got tired
And always was fired,,
Until one day when he lost his sight.


Have you ever seen a blind man dance?
Well it was a sight, that cane and Lance,
He didn't want pity
Though it wasn't pretty,
When he toppled loosing his balance.


He'd jump right up and continue on
And nothing could stop this dancing prawn,
He taught us a lesson
That there is no reason,
To end what you love before you're  gone.


Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: fun,

Muppets in the Soup - Join In

Write a limerick of your own about a Muppet
If you post it in a comment or in soup mail to me, 
and I find it appropriate, I'll add it on;-)


Sesame Street's Count von Count is dressed in black
He spends his time counting bats and talking smack
This vampy Muppet wears a cape
Skin the color of a ripening grape
Pointy teeth bite your neck when he's ready to attack

There's a Muppet who always wears a striped shirt
So does Ernie, but the one I'm talking about is Bert
He loves Bernice, his pet pigeon 
Bert's nose is crooked, just a smidgeon
He's the more serious of the two: Bert the introvert
                ****************

Tell me more about that messy muncher
who crunches cookies like a real monster!
He talks while he eats,
spurts crumbs round his seat...
Is that why he does not grow much larger?
                                                taai tekai
                   ****************

Here’s a tale about Kermit the frog 
When blind drunk he slipped off a wet log
Miss Piggy was forlorn
Her dear ‘Kermie’ was ‘gorn’
Now he’s buried deep in a peat bog

The Swedish chef landed up in jail
In bad trouble no one would pay bail
He’d got a big knife
And butchered his wife
No parole until he's old and frail!

Cookie monster was in a foul mood
She’d found something so bad on her food
A black and white turd
Produced by big bird
When she saw him she said something lewd!

Cookie Monster was curt and concise
She don’t give folks impartial advice
My word she’s a bore
Her word is the law
I don’t think she is really that nice
                                     Jan Allison
             *****************

Lin had a crush on old Mr Hooper
Said he was fine when he shook his pooper
In his glasses she'd see
A hidden mystery
behind closed doors said his puppet was super 
                                       Tim Smith
             *****************

Big Bird got a bit over-zealous 
In checking out Miss Piggy's trellis
Oh! Kermit was pained 
And thus he remained 
Quite furiously green and jealous
                               Doug Vinson
              ****************

Miss Piggy was visibly shaken, 
In the café where Kermit ate bacon
So she filled him with grog, 
Put grease on his log, 
Where he fell in the bog and was taken
                                       Ray Gridley
               ****************

Have sympathy for poor old Beaker
Was given away by his squeaker
     Miss Piggy he'd kissed
     "You're dead!" Kermit hissed
So raced through the set like a streaker
                                     John Michaels
                 ****************

Not a limerick, but welcomed anyway is this:
Lin Lane, is visibly smart
Sharp as an arrow or dart 
Witty and skilled with her art 
These Muppets with humor and heart 
Encouraging them all to take part
                             Klio Tsitsikroni
                ****************


Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: humor, poetry,

Sick Old Bird: COLLABORATION

There once was a cranky old parrot who had all the charms of a ferret. She went to great ends to get rid of friends and now lives in a draft-y garret. The draft made her sicker and sicker which caused her to bicker and bicker. She tried writing verse which made matters worse so that she would bicker much quicker! She couldn't stop coughing and wheezing. Her vanity there was no pleasing. The truth of her curse was no gift for verse which she blamed on all of the breezing. This made her get tougher and tougher. Her verses got rougher and rougher. She wouldn't stop writing, but kept on delighting in making the whole country suffer. BY DALE GREGORY COZART The parrot soon dropped off her high perch From the top of an old silver birch Now she’s no longer squawking And her husband is walking To see the old bird buried in church! BY JAN ALLISON


Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: bird, fear, growing up,

Sobbin Robin

Posted on 8/20/2013
Updated 8/21/2013

Sobbin’ Robin kept hoppin’ around.
His beak in a downward frown.
First time out of the nest
Unsure of his Baby Bird Quest
His meek chirping was his only sound.

Sobbin’ Robin was too scared to fly.
So scared that he didn’t even try.
He chirped out a loud sigh
That shifted the sky
And a breeze stopped his next chirpy cry.

Unknown to Scared Sobbin’ Robin
Was that Mother Nature kept him hoppin’
When the wind caught his wings
He started to sing
And now flies with birds sans any sobbin'.


Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: animal,

Animal Magnetism

A pet more exotic I'd wanted.

A pet to be groomed and then flaunted.

not a dog or a cat

something cooler than that!

I began my search feeling undaunted





In a pet store I came on a ferret.

Such a pain he was! How did I bear it?

Under doors and through cracks

He'd escape from meAAAACH!!

So I traded him in for a parrot.




Well, the parrot just wanted to fly!

And that bird knew more bad words than I.

When he called me a whore,

I threw open the door:

“Now you’re getting your wish, BirdBYE BYE!





A boa constrictor I bought,

He’d like to be cuddled, I thought,

But he wrapped and he squeezed,

As I gasped and I wheezed,

And offered the rat that I’d caught.

 

A bowl of piranha I won -

I played Baccarat with a nun -

And they wiggled their bums,

So I tickled their tums,

But bones ’stead of fingers aint fun.





My elderly aunt sent a text,

Suggesting tarantulas next,

But my spider alas,

Took a bite of my ass:

My pet-owning hobby is hexed.





I went to the pet shop, I swear,

But nothing I wanted was there -

To my pets I am prey,

So I went on eBay,

And purchased a big teddy bear.


for Darkness' Grab A Partner collaboration contest, written with a good Soup friend


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humorous,

Animal Magnetism

A pet more exotic I'd wanted.
A pet to be groomed and then flaunted.
Not a dog or a cat -
Something cooler than that!
I began my search feeling undaunted

In a pet store I came on a ferret.
Such a pain he was! How did I bear it?
Under doors and through cracks
He'd escape from meAAAACH!!
So I traded him in for a parrot.

Well, the parrot just wanted to fly!
And that bird knew more bad words than I.
When he called me a whore,
I threw open the door:
“Now you’re getting your wish, BirdBYE BYE!

A boa constrictor I bought,
He’d like to be cuddled, I thought,
But he wrapped and he squeezed,
As I gasped and I wheezed,
And offered the rat that I’d caught.
 
A bowl of piranha I won -
I played Baccarat with a nun -
And they wiggled their bums,
So I tickled their tums,
But bones ’stead of fingers aint fun.

My elderly aunt sent a text,
Suggesting tarantulas next,
But my spider alas,
Took a bite of my ass:
My pet-owning hobby is hexed.

I went to the pet shop, I swear,
But nothing I wanted was there -
To my pets I am prey,
So I went on eBay,
And purchased a big teddy bear.


For the "Grab a Partner" ContestTo see
who I collaborated with, read my comment
under the poem.


Poem Details | by Rick Parise |
Categories: funny,

A Sassy Potty Mouth Bird Has Changed Her Ways



~ There once was a Bird named Cher who's resolution was not to swear she duct taped her beak where not a word could leak and fluttered her wings in prayer ~


Poem Details | by Sean Kelly |
Categories: funny,

Birds and Bees


 Said a bee to a bird , we can't fail ,

 With your sweet sexy song , bang-in-scale

 When I'm lovin' you..please

 Don't fart , belch or sneeze

 'Cause there might be a sting in the tail






Sean Kelly


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny,

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

There was a young man from Tarrot,
Who fed his green bird some carrot,
It preferred it to seed
When it came time to feed,
Now he has a bright orange parrot.


Poem Details | by harry horsman |
Categories: funnylove,

The Conversation

Love and the Cook

I asked a simple question
need to know your suggestion
I know that you love me
I know I am your sweet pea
so what’s this indigestion?

Love and the Situation

Honey I think we are sinking
the tides coming in I am thinking
but then love is above all
did I hear a love bird call?
No it’s the sand in my eye winking.

Love and the Goddess

There was a girl from Philadelphia
who suffered from polydipsia
her lover’s advice she did seek
a holiday in ancient Greek
to drink the waters of Hestia.

Harry Horsman 
Linda-Marie’s contest Loveland Limerick
photo 76945


Poem Details | by gary bechter |
Categories: for childrenbird, bird, morning,

Breakfast For two

"Breakfast for two"

Callie the cat 
climbed the cypress
curious for something to eat.

Benny the bird 
perched on a branch
just a claw out of Callies reach.

Benny the bird 
spied a round worm
snaking along the ground.

Few a-ground 
went Benny the bird
and chowed the yummy thing down.

Now Benny the bird
sat licking his beak
enjoying his morning treat,

while Callie the cat
planned the attack
for too her morning treat;

Well Benny the bird
no longer around,
to see mornings a-new
For the squiggly round worm
that became a treat
was also breakfast for two...


Poem Details | by Dawn Gordon |
Categories: animalshappy, blue, happy,

Blue from Rio

Today I had the chance to hold "the blue from rio", A blue bird on a skateboard you should meet and know, A fancy parrot from the happy meal kid's land, Preening all his gorgeous feathers on his wheeled stand, Visit the happy meal site! Join his feathered flow.


Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: childhood, food, for children,

I'm Cuckoo For Coco Puffs

<                      once was an  cuckoo bird named Sonny
                         tagging along gramps as first  gunny
                               shooting up cereal bowls
                     with dark puffs @@@ nice ~ and ~ slow
                            Oh how trix rabbit did so runny  






Entry For Poets Destroyer 's
Your Favorite Cereal Limerick
GL All                                  


Poem Details | by Shadow Hamilton |
Categories: bird,

Bill

There was a love bird named Bill
he liked to sun on the sill 
himself admiring
he was so charming
until he had a big spill


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, nature,

Feathering Its Nest

Wes Wilson wore a toupee
which cost him a month's pay.
Then one night
it took flight
when spotted by a bird of prey.


Poem Details | by Patricia Sawyer |
Categories: animals, childhood, for children,

A Hungry Bird

Oh there once was a bird in the sky
Till he said " I am Hungry Oh MY!"
He hopped on the ground 
Till a fat worm was found
Then he swallowed it up with a sigh.


Poem Details | by Dawn Drickman |
Categories: funny, life, people,

RavinNVRmore

A friendly poet RavinNVRmore
Writes poetry that you can’t ignore
A Poe fan I wonder
A phrase she did plunder
From the gaunt and ominous bird of yore


Poem Details | by Don Davidson |
Categories: bird, crazy, earth, fun,

One For Kicks

I know a bird who sways and swings
He jumps and kicks and flaps his wings
He cannot fly in stormy weather
He cannot strut his fluffy feathers
So instead he sits and sings.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: silly,

My Dickie Bird



My poor little dickie bird once confided in me He'd give anything if he could only be free A zipper, to his chagrin Keeps dear dickie within So when I look down he's not staring back at me © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny

Here Lies Old Bob

             Robert Lee Hinshaw

If you think this place has no great appeal

Now how in the hell do you think I feel

On my stone let no bird light

If they do clean off the blight

Keep off the grass as at my tomb you kneel

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No8 in Andrea Dietrich's "Poetic Epitaph" Contest -October 2010


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: bird, flying, humorous,

WHY I'M GLAD ELEPHANTS CAN'T FLY

I looked at a bird flying high Its poop landed up in my eye I looked such a disgrace As it slid down my face Folks laughed, but I wanted to cry FICTION WRITE! 01~06~17


Poem Details | by Angeline Haikutwinkle |
Categories: god, inspiration, philosophy,

Faith --- Answer Me


I gaze at the approaching thunderstorm
and inhale the earthly scent of rainstorm
Her tears
as spears
is like a million blows on human fears

I ponder awhile beneath the lit-up sky
then words start rolling & a prayer is sent up high
I wish for peace
for all fighting to cease
and then the sky beckons with shades of cerise 

I loose the heart and soul on mankind
it's easy to lose faith without God's sign
When lost
we toss
the beauty of his creation for lust and greed

Then I witness the miracles of life stories
coincidences that appear and save lives
His wisdom
for our kingdom
is unfathomable for our limited visions

If only we can soar with his visions
Like an eagle on a wind's rhythm!



A mirror response to Mystic Rose's poem below:

I watch the splendor of a shooting star 
and breathe the beauty of a hum-guitar   
Her light 
in flight 
is like a million lanterns on a cooling night

I dream awhile beneath the tarp of heaven 
then close my eyes & slowly count to seven 
I wish in true 
for souls renew 
and soon I’m covered in night’s dew 

I loose the mind and pry his realm  
it`s an expedience of God’s mystic dream    
When free 
I see 
the beauty of his creation for all eternity 

I watch the splendor of a bird in flight  
and breathe the beauty of a blessed night 
His wings 
they sing 
to me of freedom, and all a night can bring;

If only we can learn to sing
Like a Cardinal on a string!

Written by: Mystic Rose 
June 24, 2015 


Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: animals, funny, life, nature,

THE BIRDS AND THE BEE'S

There once was a bird and a bee
They both had a secret, you see.
The bee loved the bird.
She thought it absurd.
The bird, then, decided to flee!

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Birds and the bees 	
Sponsored by: Royal Trevino

© February 20, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen


Poem Details | by Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories: bird, funny, humorous,

A Big Bird From Cantoon

( Limerick) A big bird from Cantoon could not fly With his wings spread open he perch'd high But the branch then just broke Fell and it wasn't a joke Thought that he was dead and start'd to cry! Dorian Petersen Potter Aka ladydp2000 Copyright@2014 10.4.2014


Poem Details | by peter timmins |
Categories: animals, for children, funnybird,

the oomer boomer

In the long grass on the island of Toomer , lives a great big bird called the oomer boomer
Now this bird is not like any partridge or pheasant, on the whole the boomer is really quite 
pleasantIt’s beak is quite long, and it’s wings are quite tiny, and his claws are long and all 
skinny and spiny.
But the weirdest thing about this bird, is a noise like something you’ve never heardFor as 
the sun rises into the sky, the bird awakes and gives a big sigh.
Then the oomer positions itself on a ledge, with its bum pointing upwards, and its head in the 
hedge.
Then it takes a deep breath before it starts, and proceeds to let out a massive great fart.
The fallout from this is felt all over toomer, thank goodness that there’s only one oomer 
boomer.


Poem Details | by olusegun Arowolo |
Categories: animals, satire, bird, bird,

The Bird and the Bee

The bird said to the bee"I am the best",
The bee replied "the best is in my nest",
My sweet waste serves as honey,
as your singing is funny,
buzzing or singing we fly like the rest.

The bird added"though your faeces is sweet",
"I move with my two wings like a fast fleet",
Your sting is very painful;
much annoying and dreadful,
But,we are both dancing to the same beat.




Poem Details | by Michael Stebleton |
Categories: funny

The Bench

A man once sat at a park bench

When he smelled a peculiar stench
   
   Then right out of the sky
  
    Fell a whopping bird pie

The man's wore a hat ever since


Poem Details | by Russell Sivey |
Categories: funny, life, me,

A Little of Life's Struggles

Life’s struggles compounded daily Whatever ails me, it hurts like crazy I believe it could be, a little bird and a bee That came across pretty bad, obviously Noticing my clothes are not on me
Russell Sivey Entrant into Tracie's "Make Me Giggle..Make Me Laugh..." contest


Poem Details | by penny kauffman |
Categories: happiness, inspirational, life, old,

Once Along Time Ago

    Once along time ago, when I was only 3,
    I was sitting on my lawn, and a bird sat on
    my knee, He sang a song of Au tum , and then went
    his merry way,I often stop and think about ,that very
    spec ail dayFor I swore I saw that same old bird sitting
    on my lawn and he was singing and singing that same
    old lovely song.

    Did he know who I was ?
    Did he remember me?
    Did he know that years ago
    He sat upon my kn


Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: socialslam, poetry, slam,

The Intent Is Lost!

No event!  No audience!  Brain spasm! 
Is it fun for the sponsor that has 'em?
Folks numerically judge.
Presentations with grudge -
Slam without performance is a chasm.

How in cyberspace can one perform his poem?
Can U-tube audiences judge random? 
There must be an event.
That is the slam intent.
Otherwise, it becomes aimless, gruesome.

There once was a poet who disliked slam.
She slammed anyway while eating eggs and ham.
I was told by a bird -
She got choked on her word.
Too bad it was not performed for the cam!

© July 21, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen

A SPECIAL THANKS GOES TO OUR POETRY SOUP TEAM for their continued support of the art of poetry in all of its forms and for their sensitivity to the needs of poets on Poetry Soup SLAM POETRY is about performance It is about beliefs and opinions...NOT just about dissing Some SLAM Poetry is purely beautiful I visited the link posted on their recent blog http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8723097898466379752#  It was a marvelous experience SMILES


Poem Details | by DON JOHNSON |
Categories: adventure,

THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

Royal Trevino Contest Name Birds and the bees Good ole Clive he said to me, Bee’s aint buzzing decently, Mobile phones got their number, Buzz like a bent cucumber, broody bird said recently. Don Johnson


Poem Details | by charles hice |
Categories: childhood, for children, funny,

FabelFortyFive

 FabelFortyFive 
FabelFortyFive 
 
CharlaXFabels 
 
 
This Limmerick 
 
There was an Old Lady she hailed from Nantucket 
She carried her fish in a red paisley bucket 
She wore her hair up in a honeybun 
She thought it made her quite the looking young 
The Pelican came with a busted wing 
The Old Lady was trying to catch it 
She chased and she chased and she chased it 
She carried a stick made of glass 
She has lippstick it is gloss 
She applies it to snakes and scorpions 
The glass stick not the lipp gloss 
She makes a poor lump of it 
The lipp gloss is read like two lips 
Tulips is many and varied in hue 
She walks in the way of the shrew 
She carries her stick to save birds 
The bird not the woman in the shoe 
That was Old Mother Hubbard 
She has tea in her cupboard 
The Nantucket not Hubbard 
She makes it in gold bullion cubes 
The tea not the shoes 
Millions of bags are hidden away 
Shoe bags not tea bags 
she has shoes for her children 
Yes Hubbard 
In the Cubbard 
The teas are all black and some green 
The shoes are all pink 
Her children are blue 
The Lady from Nan not the Shoe lady too 
The dog eats better than the yew 
A bone from the woman 
Hubbard not Joan 
There was an old woman from Nantucket 
Joan Hubbard was from Shoe Rhode Island 
She kept teas in the millions 
The Nantucket lady not Hubbard 


Poem Details | by Russell Sivey |
Categories: life, nature,

The Birds and the Bees

I think that the birds and the bees are bad
A bird would avoid the bee just a tad
For a bee would really sting
And hurt that flying thing
Avoiding the bee is it’s best iron-clad

Russell Sivey

Entrant into Royal Trevino's "Birds and the bees" contest

2/15/2012


Poem Details | by Victor Alexander |
Categories: bible,

SOLOWISE

SOLOWISE

Traceable son of Adam
Blood-lined to royalty; heir apparent to the throne
He has everything easy for him as he pleases
Amongst different choices, he chose wisdom first
The elders said he was humble and not greedy
Maybe the greedy and the arrogant would have chosen differently
The righteous praises him for his act of righteousness
God admired his spirit of selflessness and simplicity
In such surprise; he was blessed with added gifts
To him who has; more shall be given.

Just as the bird can’t beg for wings to fly
The fish can’t wish to swap water for land
He couldn’t ask for what he already has that is his right
Many would do anything just to be a king’s son
An opportunity the fowl would embrace to be a raven
By being that which we wish; we are satisfied
If not completely; at least to a measurable degree
A bastard born of royalty in royalty blood
If my father is rich, powerful, prosperous and respected
I the son, am the same; I am my father’s son.

Grant me one wish
I will make the one wish no one would
Yet, I asked for that I do not have
To be king, I am the richest
Being king, I am most powerful
Being king, I will need many advisers
Why have so many advisers; when I can have wisdom
Being king guarantees me no wisdom that is mine
To have that I don’t have; I could only ask for it
That in itself is wisdom.


Lordvip


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny, life

Vain Old Man Blues

A foot-long-strand-of-hair is one of my fears
So I sharpen and oil up my trimming shears
Ev'ry organ that senses
Gets pruned to the fences
Ain't no bird gonna' nest in THIS old man's ears....


Poem Details | by NEILL MOCKETT |
Categories: animals, for children, funny,

Lily The Frog

Leaping off a garden fence
There is a frog called Lily
She has very little sense
There isn’t one more silly

Leaping up without a care
Lily reaches for the sky
Hear that silly frog declare
Like a bird see how I fly!















Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, lust,

HE'S A FLOP BAWDY LIMERICK NOW UPDATED

A rampant old bird called Caitlin Prepared for a long night of sin Bill made it his mission And got in position But sobbed when she asked ‘is it in’ Bill said you’ve no right to be fussy You’ve got such a cavernous pussy Let’s admit we are old But we try to be bold You were once a right little hussy! Thanks to Chris Green for inspiration for the second stanza! 04~24~17


Poem Details | by Skyler Wang |
Categories: nature,

Rest

There was a little girl in a coat.
Singing in a lonely boat
A bird was attracted to her bread, 
And the girl smiled and said,
"I shall build you a little cote."


Poem Details | by Md Shahadat Hossain |
Categories: beauty, bird, food, humor,

The Magpie

The Magpie bird sings wonderfully,
Even it can dance nicely.
Once she saw a grasshopper,
Her heart bit was getting louder,
She caught that grasshopper softly.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: bird, food, humorous,

THE OLD BIRD GOT ROASTED

Mum roasted a ptarmigan for tea But the meal didn't satisfy me It was a scrawny old bird The taste was pretty absurd So I'm off to the chip shop quickly! On Monday I was using a random word generator and it came up with Ptarmigan which is a word I had never heard ofI've since discovered it's a bird which is native to Canada but they can also be found in Scotland 06-17-17


Poem Details | by Aniruddha Pathak |
Categories: humor,

In a jiffy

In a jiffy

You be feather light— not just leafy,
Scarce still a spot kiss in a jiffy,
Unless a bird of flight
Racing as speeds up light;
Which, if not all too false, is iffy.
____________________________________________________
In physics and chemistry a jiffy is equal to about 33.3504 picosecondsNow, to reach anywhere in a jiffy one must travel one centimetre faster than the speed of light
_________________________________________________________
   Humour | 13.03.2017 |   
 


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

Humming Bird Nest

Humming Bird Nest

Some women seem to be obsessed
With size of both of their breasts
And microscopic her's had been
Supported by only some thin skin;
Tiny as eggs in a hummingbird nest.

Those of her friend's were a dandy
For breast feeding came in handy
She surely was so well endowed
Saw each one and was very proud
When on beach became all sandy.

Another woman's were monstrous
Which we thought was preposterous
Appeared that she was one of the few
Who like her's would grew on you
Unless looked like a tyrannosaurus.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

Here a breast, there a breast
Everywhere a nice breast
Unless they are compressed


Poem Details | by Jeannie Minor |
Categories: fear, hope, poetess, poetry,

Falsetto Crowns

It was during a time
Of a mountainous climb
With nothing for certain in sight
The battles she fought
Conflicted her thought
And soon she was given to write

Like flowering vines
She played with the lines
Arranging the words on the page
She started to see
Her soul was set free
A bird being let from a cage

Her thoughts she would write
With visions in sight
Of laying her legacy down
Would she learn to be good
As they all said she could
Her name to be someday renown

Convinced she would fail
Her confidence frail
She found it too hard to believe
Each time she would try
A small piece would die
Her whispering hopes left to grieve

Now burdened with fear
She deafens her ear
Silently making a choice
The poetess drowns 
In falsetto crowns
Misgiven in finding her voice

                    -Jeannie Minor


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Hiding Behind A Hibiscus

Hiding Behind A Hibiscus

Had been hiding behind a hibiscus
When we planned on being promiscuous
Can your imagine her big breasts
Looked just like two bird nests;
Did discover flower was deciduous.

Jim Horn