Limerick Poems About Babies | Baby Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: baby, humorous,


Sue dated an old bloke called Darren He said surgery'd made him barren But one errant sperm Escaped from his ‘worm’ Now Sue’s had a baby named Sharon! 05~24~17 WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON For his sins he surely will pay Strong little swimmer went astray There's tears in his eyes No nights with the guys And Susan turned out to be gay! 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Darren went to the doc to get snipped The doctor was drunk and he slipped He was seeing double And that spelled trouble Poor Darren got his wiener clipped. 05~24~17 WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN Darren wasn't really a talker; He spent all his time in a rocker "But don't worry, Dear," He'd said without fear, Knowing that his sperm used a walker 05~24~17 WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Darren told Jane the same story She gave birth to a son named Rory He thinks he's slick he's really a prick And deserves his own category! 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER Sue told Darren she was on the pill But she managed to get pregnant still It would have been better If he "wrote" a french letter Now they have a baby boy named Bill! 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY Young Rick peed on a stick The result made him feel sick His emotions went wild How could he be with child Impregnated by his own seed. 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY RICHARD LAMOUREUX So Darren was over the hill Said Susie'd no need for the pill One old guy One old lie Easily told for the thrill! 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS Jan that's not what I find I disagree if you don't mind Over sixty they droop When I take a look His number if you would be so kind? WRITTEN BY JEAN MURRAY Poor Darren developed a cough Sue put him to bed in a trough While discussing his manhood. Sue said, this is no good I'd feel safer if you had it off. WRITTEN BY JONATHAN FRENCH

Poem Details | by Jesse Rowe |
Categories: bird, food, funny,


They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.

Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: birth, body, humorous,


I crossed my legs but there was a flood Blushing red I hope folks understood But my waters had burst And the baby's my first Guess I'm ready to start motherhood! NOT FOR CONTEST WRITTEN on 27TH August 2016 BY JAN ALLISON My babe arrived as hungry as a horse As a good mother, I fed him, of course When my breasts began to fill Another flood was about to spill Until my child suckled with great force. WRITTEN ON 08/27/16 BY LIN LANE The first twelve months went mighty quick Time flying by lickity split Crawls out of bed Sits on mom's head A young fireman squirting his stick WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY TIM SMITH Hay, thought I heard another sound of thunder roar Eeh gad, seems to be another two babies more They all have lots of hair Mother-in-law beware Now I am having triplets let me out the door WRITTEN 08/27/16 BY EVE T M C He was born without a suntan And didn’t favor the milk man Birthed on a polar bear rug Full beard on his tiny mug Holding a harpoon like Tarzan! WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER 8/27/2016 Oh my! What will people think? My baby doesn’t favor his dad’s wink I can always claim in shame He favors my grandma’s frame On my mother’s side is large and pink WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER 8/27/2016 One baby after another I sure am a busy mother I cross my knees Whenever I sneeze Out one end or the other! WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE It’s all my darn uterus’s fault, Can’t bring my crying to a halt, No more sex with my hubby, I’m just too tired and chubby, This babe’s an exhausting result! Ice came out sucking a pacifier, Posted sign, “Eskimo nanny for hire!”, But when warm milk is felt, Baby started to melt, Naughty nanny immediately fired! The ice came out with a binky, And a diaper pretty stinky! Eskimo baby is she, Could it even be a he? It’s too frozen and all wrinkly! ALL WRITTEN BY LAURA LOO One by one they came out, midwife slapped 'em and into the cradle she packed 'em father blew candle out and exclaimed with a shout " Just like moths, it's the light that attracts 'em!" WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY Making babies was so much fun Now my boobies reach to my tum I can't even sneeze or cough It set's my weak bladder off.. I'd better stick to coke and rum WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS AWARDED POEM OF THE WEEK ON 28TH AUGUST - THE HONOUR IS SHARED BY US ALL.SPECIAL THANKS TO LIN LANE FOR STARTING THE COLLABORATION I'm feeling like a slot machine My wheels stopped on three tangerines Babies falling like rain It's no longer a strain That last one looks just like my spleen WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER I thought I was going to have two But now I don't even have a clue It feels like maybe four I can't take it no more I have five months to go til I'm due WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y I was rushed to the hospital gate not yet due, but I just couldn't wait labor's water broke through elevator broke too flooded stairwells to room did create! WRITTEN BY SANDRA HAIGHT

Poem Details | by JADAZZLE UNITED |
Categories: humorous, vacation,

Vacation Disaster

We arrived at the airport quite late
My passport was months out of date
My husband was snappy
The baby filled its nappy
I just stood there and got quite irate

The pilot had been on the pop
On the runway he couldn't stop
He just missed a tree
Stopped off for a pee
Now his career is facing the chop

Our hotel was two star not four
Cockroaches crawled on the floor
We got a terrible fright 
In the middle of the night
A tornado blew off our door

Written for Vacation Humor Contest Sponsored By Carolyn Devonshire

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny

Raccoon's Baby Sittin' Service

MrsCat, I'm bringing back your kitten
I'm completely done with baby sittin'
She cried all day
Not worth the pay
And , so sorry, we couldn't find her mitten

For the "Tell Me About It " contest

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, clothes, for him,


A wrestler whose first name is Bill Wears tights (but he’s over the hill) He shoves down a sock To enhance his cock It sure gives the ladies a thrill! Now Bill’s a really proud macho guy And keeps grey hair at bay with black dye Even though he’s a man He wears lots of fake tan And baby oil is in constant supply For Phyl with love from FC xx 05/06/17

Poem Details | by alan balter |
Categories: animal,

Harvey the Hippo

Harvey the Hippo

Harvey is a huge hippopotamus
Who bathes in a bay that is bottomless
HIs mouth is as large as a riverboat barge
And he weighs ten times more than a lot of us

Big Harvey isn’t nasty or troublesome
Nor like other guys who are double dumb
He just wanders around stomping the ground
Looking for pieces of bubble gum

Harvey owns a fine yellow cummerbund
And sewn on the back is the number one
He wears it right proudly and bellows quite loudly
While playing outside in the summer sun

Once Harvey met up with a crocodile
Together they decided to walk a mile
Near the shore they strolled, but the water got cold
So they sat down to talk on the dock a while

Eating Oreo cookies about four apiece
They talked about matters of war and peace
They discussed the economy, art, and astronomy
And the huge immigration of foreign geese

Then walking back toward his new shiny house
Harvey stopped for a chat with a tiny mouse
Her name was Du Barry; they decided to marry
And soon come a baby named Stanislaus

A handsome young child was Stanislaus
Dressed up in his fine silken Spanish blouse
They all had made history; this was no mystery
For Stan was the first Hippopotamouse

Huge Harvey adored his sweet ladylove
From her wee little feet to her head above
He brought her some strings and other fine things
Including a snowy white turtledove

Harvey has grown really mellow now
He seldom produces a bellow now
But if you’re down by the bay, you can still see him play
This wondrous and gentle old fellow now

Poem Details | by tammy cox |
Categories: bullying,

Bullying kills the SOUL

Bullying kills a SOUL

The look on beautiful face 
was missing today
She seemed distant and 
lost far away 
As I got closer a tear rolled
slowly down her face
Her eyes sad and heart
out of place 
A hug and love did not seem 
to make a change at all
Is there something that I 
missed or someone I can call?
As the days still ticked by 
second to minutes then hour
She just looked like she was
fighting something that was
about to devour 
I stood quietly outside her
room and overheard my
baby girl start to cry
I gently sat close held her
precious hand and asked why?
Her cheeks covered with tears 
and she could could hardly
say a word
I knew my baby girl definitely 
needed to be heard 
Our family began picking 
up the puzzle pieces to make 
her WHOLE again 
With lots of love and effort we
we're able to change the sad into 
better over time gone by 
She was able to HOLD her
head HIGH looking to the 
Bullying is veery serious 
and causing our kids to 
take their own lives across 
this WORLD you see 
The  CHALLENGE will not 
be easy and will take some
time, form a line behind ME

Tammy Arrowood 2-10-2018??

Poem Details | by Susan Gentry |
Categories: brother, mother, old, technology,

Billies Brothers

Hill, By and Blow - the three Billies brothers
Were constantly fighting each other
Hill was the oldest
Blow was the boldest
By was the baby by another mother

May 5, 2018

Hillbillies, Bybillies and Blowbillies Contest, by Caren Krutsinger
Honorable Mention

Poem Details | by Linda-Marie SweetHeart |
Categories: love, happy, happy,



Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: brotherbrother, brother,

Big Brother's Promise

For a while our mommy got fat
and so grouchyI didn’t like that!
But early one day
Dad took mommy away.
They came back and her tummy was flat!

In her arms there was something so small
that I barely could see it at all.
I just wanted to hold
itYou’d think it was gold!
They said, “Don’t let your new brother fall.”

You bawled every day with such might
you gave our cat, Felix, a fright.
It was such a great day
When I heard Mommy say,
“The baby now sleeps through the night.”

Your first smile today was for me.
You’re going to be a good buddy.
There’s so much that we’ll do.
Here’s my promise to you:
The best brother ever I’ll be!

By Andrea Dietrich/ April 28, 2011
For Miranda Lambert's Contest:
"Brotherly Love"

Poem Details | by Rick Parise |
Categories: brother, love

My Baby Brother


I cuddle with my little baby brother
so special he's like no other
a unique gift from above
a true endless love
"a bundle of pure joy" says mother

I'll protect him with my own soul
as along life's path we stroll
he need never feel fear
or in pain shed a tear
for in me he can always console

Contest ~ "Brotherly Love"
Poet ~ Rick Parise
April 22, 2011

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

I Fear That Pinocchio -

Confessed to creator Geppetto
"Got a fetish, I think you should know
Often I fiddle
‘Round with my middle
Take a look-see how THAT baby grows!"

Sumitted for: Roy Jerden's contest

Poem Details | by Erin Soares-Anselmi |
Categories: light, marriage,

Pride and Arrogance's Wedding

Pride & Arrogance’s Wedding

Pride was looking for a partner to share his life.
He found Arrogance and asked her to be his wife.

 This would be the grandest affair no one could beat.
Anybody who was somebody would fill the seats.

Sarcasm would be the maid of honor Arrogance’s best friend
While Pride’s buddy Boastful would do the honors of stepping in.

Pompous, Pretentious, and Presumptuous found their places
While Vanity and Bossy were screaming in each other’s faces

Smug walked by with Snotty his wife of many years
As Arrogance’s mother Egotist tried not to shed a tear.

As Arrogance came in the room all stopped and stared
To witness true love Pride and Arrogance shared.

Pride took Arrogance by the hand to the alter
Looking stiff and stoic like the rock of Gibraltar 

The wedding was beautiful but just a little odd
But everybody knew they were like two peas in a pod

 They now live in a town called Imso Crass
While Arrogance works hard Pride sits on his ass

Arrogance, if she only knew her fate with Pride
She would have never agreed to be by his side.

But now there’s a baby whom she must take care.
Little chaos born on her birthday they now share.

Erin Soares-Anselmi

Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: bird, fear, growing up,

Sobbin Robin

Posted on 8/20/2013
Updated 8/21/2013

Sobbin’ Robin kept hoppin’ around.
His beak in a downward frown.
First time out of the nest
Unsure of his Baby Bird Quest
His meek chirping was his only sound.

Sobbin’ Robin was too scared to fly.
So scared that he didn’t even try.
He chirped out a loud sigh
That shifted the sky
And a breeze stopped his next chirpy cry.

Unknown to Scared Sobbin’ Robin
Was that Mother Nature kept him hoppin’
When the wind caught his wings
He started to sing
And now flies with birds sans any sobbin'.

Poem Details | by Stephanie Weeks |
Categories: funny,

Makes No Sense

I believe in God.
I'm glad that I'm not bald.
A dollar's a hundred cents,
This poem makes no sense.
I hope you're not appalled.
I love the zoo.
Where's Timbuktu?
Billy's my name.
Wanna play a game?
A baby is brand new.
I have a phone.
Granny's not at home.
Can you build a bomb?
You're talking all wrong.
I'm glad that I'm not grown.
Your hair is so soft.
My bed is in a loft.
My bear's name is Ted.
I sleep in a bed.
Say hi to Microsoft.

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: holiday, baby, halloween, baby,

A White Pumpkin Family Review

Cotton Candy is a pumpkin who
Is known as White Pepo too.
Her nice rounded shell
She keeps very well,
And one day she met Baby Boo.

Baby Boo is quite small, and at night
He might glow, an albino pure white.
He is both good looking
And good at cooking!
He and white Pepo make a rare sight.

Cotton Candy (White Pepo) and he
Got together, and baby made three.
With skin color cream,
The baby’s a dream
And he’s part of the Ghost family.

Like his Mom, maybe better, is he.
Ghost can keep for a long time and be
Just like his Dad too.
Like that small Baby Boo,
In the oven he can bake sweetly.

Another White pumpkin, meanwhile,
In Carol’s patch sat on a pile.
Smooth, round and pure white,
An adorable sight,
Is this pumpkin with decorative style.

Other pumpkins can read this and weep
For Halloween has a new peep!
For MINE, cute and small,
Has the name of Snowball
And clear up to Christmas can keep!

For Carol Brown's 
"What No Orange Pumpkin" Poetry Contest

Poem Details | by Vicki Acquah |
Categories: abuse, corruption, murder,

Mike Browns Body

Mike Browns Body

There was a young man named Brown
Who walked to the store downtown.
He never made it home,
Now an outline in a chalk zone
Where his body for hours was lain
This created scene, by a cop so mean
Caused an outright global uproar.
While his hands were raised up;
he mowed a human down-
Which caused America's rage.
The masses were now crazed.
The crowd rebelled,People maced and jailed
But The world chanted Ferguson Down.!
"Burn baby burn America must learn" !
There will be no liberty, til lives rule over property.

Poem Details | by T.A. Skyles-Theoklapoet |
Categories: daughterwater, water,


 In the water is the mirrored image I see.
 The true beauty is a reflection of me.
 Thoughts that run through my mind are my beliefs that I cannot find
 Like the flowers that float in the water are my memories of Chloe my daughterShe's now an angel taken from me.
 My sweet precious baby Chloe.
                    Teresa Skyles

Entered in Constance La France~A rambling poet~"reflection"contest

Poem Details | by Kim Robin Edwards |
Categories: how i feel, society,

The Chatterbox

An extremely talkative person, he was.
He was! He was! He was! 
He talked about this, and he talked about that.
He talked about anything he could thunk of..
Even that funny old hat.
Garrulous and fat, he was.
He talked about this, and he talked about that.
While riding on his bicycle home.
He found a baby cat.
A kitten it was, so pretty and nice.
Now, it was time to roll the dice.
He talked about this, and he talked about that.
He talked about anything he could think of..
Even that funny ten foot wall.
Now, he had time to make a call.
From the telephone, he made his call.
He talked so much, it made him fall.
Now, a doctor it was, he needed to call..
Because he talked about this, and he talked about that..
An extremely talkative person, he was..
He was! He was! He was! 

Chatterbox-Poem-By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2005,2014..
ALL rights reserved..

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: friendship, fun, poetry, ,

LOVELY LLAMA - collaboration

A lovely Llama called Lin Got her head stuck in a bin She gave a shy yelp We all dashed to help And tended the cut on her chin She’s got such a pretty white coat It’s much softer than that of a goat Her poetry is divine How I wish it were mine Then I’d be able to smile and gloat WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON Lin the llama is grateful to have such kind friends She'll send thank you notes when her chin mends Not a dim llama ~ she can spell And signs her name with "L.L." Now she hosts parties for her friends on weekends WRITTEN BY LIN LANE L.Lthe llama is pretty smart And she has a very kind heart People like her verses And she never curses Her poems are works of art WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Her "time" has been late for a llama A dead rabbit hints she is a mama With tears she orates As her belly inflates With so much mama llama drama! WRITTEN BY ROGERPAT ADAMS 08-14-17 Lin the llama when its time for bed wears red pyjamas so the song said But that’s just a cute rumour. (Lin's got a sense of humour) she wears nothing but a smile instead! WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS L.L is pregnant! Ring it from the bell tower We'll have a llama party for a baby shower Decorations of pink and blue Will you come? Oh please do Congratulations, LinYou're llama of the hour WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND Lin was tired from her extended girth Soon it was time for her to give birth She gave birth to cute twins Now her trouble begins Their sweet antics are sure to bring mirth WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON They both looked exactly the same So cute but it still was a shame When one made a mess She had to confess She wasn’t sure which one to blame WRITTEN BY CHRIS GREEN Lovely llama has been looking cool. Since the pregnancy ruined her wool, All her wool she's shaved off, and should anyone scoff, she'll say, "Llamas need follow no rule!" WRITTEN BY ANDREA DIETRICH Lin llama is a classic poet, Writing rhymes is her forte, you bet, She named one twin Ben, Another was Ken, Now she plans to add Glen to the set. WRITTEN BY JO DANIEL Oh Lin Llamas troubles now begins having to cope with troublesome twins, though she may cry and shout love will be in no doubt even when they're doing naughty things. WRITTEN BY ROY PETTS PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME YOUR POEM IF YOU WANT TO JOIN IN THE COLLABORATION 08-15-17/

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, funny, silly, mum,

Why There's No Baby Planes

On a flight to Auckland one day A mother over hearing her son say Cats and Dogs can have babies Can planes do that maybe Ask the attendant, see what she says So off to the attendant he asks Is it possible that planes do this task Did your mother tell you To ask me if it's true Tell her to tell and not mask As the little boy was walking away Following him the attendant did say No baby planes you will find Qantas pulls out on time Ask mum to explain this today . Written about a Joke I heard ;-)

Poem Details | by kerry singleton |
Categories: death, loss, baby, baby,

Little baby

Little baby dont cry you will be sung a lullaby 
little baby dont worry forever in my dreams i hold you 
little baby dont be afraid for the angels will lead the way 
little baby dont be shy for together you will reach the sky 
little baby just be calm for they will never harm 
little baby sleep peacefully for you will always have my heart 
little baby the angels will protect you 
little baby i will never forget you...

Poem Details | by ilene bauer |
Categories: baby, travel,

Baby on a Plane

A baby that screams on a plane,
Whether tired, unfed or in pain,
     Must be calmed at all costs
     For when patience exhausts
All the passengers will go insane.

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, caregiving, education, fantasy,

Quit Your Growling

<          once there was old woman on the prowl
            found younger man and begun to howl
            under silvery moon
            fead him with baby spoon
            now stomach does goo goo gah gah grawls

Written By Katherine Stella

Entry For DrRam's Cougar Effect Contest 

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: children, funny,

Messy Baby

Youngin Greg found an egg
Struck it with his mummy's peg,
Only taking one baby stroke
Out came the gooey yolk
Running down his leg.

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: baby, humor,


CEO Andrew Sykes took a social crash dive
he asked a clerk when her baby would arrive.
"I'm not pregnant!" she exclaimed
her face was red and inflamed.
'Tis a miracle he fled her presence alive.

Categories: fun, nonsense,

Katy dipped her tabby cat in the pot of brine

                            Katy dipped her tabby cat in the pot of brine
                             She was settled to make his fur silky and shine
                                         But to her utter depression
                                         Raising a pertinent question
                         The Tabby baby took wing to ride the cloud nine 

Poem Details | by DrJim Martin |
Categories: baby, funny,


DrJames EMartin
©May, 2013

A mother-to-be was she.
She was happy as she could be.
A new baby boy,
Would bring her much joy,
If only she weren’t seventy three.

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, baby, baby,

Limerick: Once a Baby found in a bucket

Limerick : Once a Baby found in a bucket

Once a Baby found in a bucket
Grew up to be tough as a biscuit
She took a desert trip
Sahara took a flip
(Some people take her/me for a nitwit)
That’s why biscuits taste sandy when bit.

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013

Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: childhood

Bye bye, Baby

As this poem was being written,
A small boy appeared to be smitten.
He loved his baby brother,
But then he asked his mother,
‘Please can we swap him for a kitten?’

Brotherly Love
Jack Horne
24th April 2011

Poem Details | by Jacob Timme |
Categories: funny, father, father,

The Babies Poo

There was a baby, brand new,
But the father was scared of his poo,
So the father departed,
The mother then started
To clean up the brown baby goo!

Poem Details | by Gerard Keogh Jr. |
Categories: animals, funny, pets

Baby Harry

In his cage in a rage- Baby Harry
and those visit his realm best be wary.
A smart cockatoo
who screams out: " #*@# you!"
What his master might say could be scary.

My Theme is : Birds singing.
But I hope that birds talking is okay.
However, as I write this,
Baby Harry is talking, but not in a socially acceptable way...

Poem Details | by Mitch White |
Categories: food

The way to my heart

A slow cooked roast with baked potato
Soft spread butter and sliced sourdough
Steamed baby carrots with peas
A-1 Steak Sauce and jellies
Apple pie, cooling by the window

Her way of letting me know, there was a sale at Macy's.
It always worked!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: christmas,

The Very First Christmas

It's the happiest time of the year round the world Moms reading to kids on the couch they're all curled Bout the very first Christmas Bout baby Jesus what blissfulness As the banner of love and freedom is unfurled © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: childhood, fantasy, love, passion,

Cougar and Cub

There once was this gal – much older
And I being young but bolder
Took hold of her hand
Said I am your man
But she gave me the old cold shoulder

Now I – being not a quitter
Thought how am I going to get her
I must make her mine
The very next time
My parents get a baby sitter

Written - 	6/19/11 by mdailey
For DrMehta's contest - Cougar Effect

Poem Details | by john chizoba vincent |
Categories: art, , Lullaby,


In my baby diaper i sang
Then motherly songs never slang
Lullaby welcomes me home meekly
In me lies hope boldly
But i still remain a child in the gang

Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny,


Well I pulled out some Mother Goose rhymes
'Cause I read to my Great-Grand sometimes,
And the rhymes that I read
They were so very dread
Nowadays they'd be considered crimes.

That Old Lady who lived in a shoe
Why didn't somebody tell her "don't screw"
With a whole bunch of kids
And living on the skids,
Then abusing the children, who knew?

Not a Baby Daddy was in port
Did the Cops get them for child support,
What 'bout the welfare check?
No food stamps? what the heck!
Did she trade it for something to snort?

Poem Details | by Chris Matt |
Categories: funny, life

flaws versus flawless

Photo shopping a model.
So her neck doesn't have a wattle.
She's perfect after this, 
so her feet you will kiss.
Then return to your baby bottle.

To the eyes I am a little rough.
In my stomach, I do have a fluff.
Wish you could see who I am.
Writing again my own slam.
For you, I see I wasn't the right stuff   

For S K A T's contest.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: devotion,

Bed Wetting Hubby

Sleep like a wee baby most every night At times wet the bed, oh my, whatta a sight Cathie spanks my bum Found it kinda fun But still loves her bed wetting hubby despite

Poem Details | by Charles Sides |
Categories: history,


(The Baby Machine)

Beautiful Selene, goddess of the moon
With her lover Endymion she did spoon
So prolific was she
Fifty daughters from he
Gave him eternal sleep in a cocoon

Submitted by Charles Sides

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: political

Sarah's Song

This chorus sarcastic and wrong  
Is a spoiled thug throng sing along 
(Loud) "Drill baby drill"
To the green crowd seems shrill
Still republicans love Palin's song

Poem Details | by shane solomon |
Categories: funny

Love is a another name for debt

Where is fat baby cupid?
I hope he knows I think Valentines day is stupid
Buying expensive gifts at Walmart
Overweight babies shooting love darts
Honestly the whole holiday is simply putrid

Poem Details | by Sue Mason |
Categories: animals, family, funny, baby,

Mister at the Dog Pound

There once was a dog born in July
With three brothers and a sister, oh my!

In five months he was taken to the pound
And there by a family with a baby was found.

Home they went, but within a month did know
That jealous of the baby the dog did grow.

So, back to the pound he was taken
But the little dog did not feel forsaken.

All his friends were waiting there
Oh my, he didn't have a care!

Brave and bored in a cage he sat
Staring across the room at a large yellow cat.

One day anoher two-legged being came by
To stare, and smile, and say with a cry:

"Look at that face.what a face!
Oh my, I want to take him home to my place!"

"What's his name?" she asked the clerk with a sigh.
"His name is Logan", the clerk did reply.

Logan?  Logan is a strange name to be,
He doesn't look like a Logan that I can see.

But he's certainly masculine, oh my
What a barrel chest and little head held high!

Such a face so strong and wise,
With those big limpid brown eyes.

He looks for all the world to see
Well. he looks like a, like a Mister to me!

So Mister the Dog found a home
Leaving his friends at the pound all alone.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,


An old Asian named Asheet Midrawz Pooped himself; then discovered the cause Eating too many plums Gave poor Asheet the runs His wife loves him despite all his flaws! *Asheet is a genuine Christian name whilst the rest of the poem is fiction BY JAN ALLISON Asheet Midrawz had a problem for sure When he couldn't open the toilet door He let out a wail His wife grabbed a pail Been used for bleach now his rump is so sore BY SEREN ROBERTS Asheet I've heard has got the runs Dripping down from his wretched buns And his wife Pu Phlung Of his troubles sung A little ditty and some cracking puns BY TIM SMITH Asheet married when he was young His beloved’s name is Pu Phlung When they had male child His grandparent’s went wild As they christened the baby Dung BY JAN ALLISON - INSPIRED BY TIM'S POEM! Little boy Dung was a bit of a chunk Made a kerplop when the vicar did dunk Water all about Poor Pu did shout Because the whole congregation now stunk! BY TIM SMITH 10-13-17

Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: animal, cute, fun, funny,

Baby Hedgehog

A small baby hedgehog called Trevor,
Was ever-so Trevor-so clever,
He put on some clothes,
Then he twitched his wee nose,
And cried “Look! I’m the cutest thing ever!”

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: birth, funny, humorous, silly,


A huge pregnant young lady named Jill Bungee jumped for a bit of a thrill When her baby flew out Jill did scream and then shout 'Now there’s two to walk back down the hill!' Fiction write for limerick contest Sponsored by Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer 06-03-17

Poem Details | by george seal |
Categories: giggle,


               Belt up.

    She was one of those old baby boomers
    Who was constantly spreading false rumours
    But she found all along
    What she said was quite wrong
    Now red faced, she stopped dropping her bloomers.
    4/ 30/ 2017

Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: humor,

Limerick Contest

Tale of a Squirrel's Tail

There once was a very impudent squirrel
pretending to be an innocent girl
she wore a blonde wig
tried to act so big
dancing and prancing, giving life a whirl

One day I caught her peeping at my sill
gave me an evil eye...if looks could kill
shot back with a frown
had to take her down
I'll get that meddlesome squirrelYes, I will

She's not naive like sweet lil Goldilocks
but was wily like a devious fox
no porridge she'd find
I spanked her behind
with the heel of my brand new rubber crocs

She screamed at me until her face turned blue
"I'll get even with you, before I'm through!"
Oh, she is quite nuts
She limps 'steada struts
Whiney baby was crying, "Boo hoo hoo."

She cursed naughty words and off she scurried
Twitching her bushy tail as she hurried
I'd no cause to fret
Rodent trap was set
Tonight I'll feast on squirrel that's been curried

  ^..^   ^..^  
For Jan Allison
syllables of 10-10-5-5-10

Poem Details | by BL DEVNATH |
Categories: boyfriend, funny, girlfriend,


                                  voice is not clear net is disturbed 
                                   one way line so boy is perturbed 
                                   it's raining storming with thunder 
                                sees another baby so does a blunder 
                               for few seconds heart can't be curbed