A busty young lady from Peel
Her boobies she couldn't conceal
They were such a huge size
That she won a first prize
For the fruit men most wanted to feel
7th April 2015
I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice
A constipated vicar named Bart
Was in church when he dropped a huge fart
He said 'Lord I have sinned'
For I’ve got pooey wind
Blushing scarlet he did soon depart!
26th April 2016
On this tropical beach, one hot summer day
Jim the Trim came, his bod to display
Been workin’ out day and night
Made the girls' eyes burn bright
Next, he's running from muscles that sashay
KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
10 April 2015
I'm thirsty - I needed a drink
There lurking in my kitchen sink
Lying flat on his back
He’s no longer jet black
A hedgehog…now he doesn't stink!
11th April 2015
There once was a man whose intellect
He did not at anytime neglect
His imagination dull
New ideas he would cull
From his colleagues received no respect
Written: April 21, 2015
Albert Einstein quoted as saying, "The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but
Two poets who couldn't agree
Raise their voices to their loud pleas
One wasn't able to stop
His zip open, out pops!
Haha, it's a pea, not the size of a tree
©JAFraser and OEGuillermo 15.18pm, April 07, 2015
Andrea was late - drove at the speed of light
Traffic cops chased her - she got such a fright
The cop got out his book
Gave her a stern look
She’s off to traffic school so she now gets it right
Posted with full permission of Andrea (speedy) Dietrich
2nd April 2015
There may be a flood in the Isle of Man
From the bladder of poetry Jan
There is no denying
Inco pads I’ll be buying
I’ll judge the contest as fast as I can
27th April 2015
Jan doesn't write iambic pentameter
So please don't condescend and mock her
We have different styles
I bring laughter and smiles
Please remember Jan is just an amateur!
30th April 2015
Jim the Trim’s been watching too much video
The kind that caused rise in his libido
Mind still on a femme fatale
Was brought to the hospital
His front was trapped by the doors of the Metro.
KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
10 April 2015
An overweight lady named Annie
Has got an absurdly large fanny
Since she boarded a plane
That is destined for Spain
She's wedged in the seat in Miami!
Thanks to Andrea for helping me with the meter for this one
12th April 2016
My unfortunate uncle named Rick
Was endowed with a very small wick
But he was still quite able
To impregnate aunt Mable
Who gave birth to a son they called Dick
2nd April 2017
Folks know me as ‘poetry Jan’
But soupers I once was a man …
In a very long op
My male bits got the chop
And I altered my name from Stan!
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY SOUPERS!!!!
1st April 2018
There's a gal known as Karma; she'll charm ya,
and folks, I don't want to alarm ya,
but do somebody wrong,
and you'll sing a sad song
'cause she'll hunt ya down; then she'll harm ya!
April 29, 2018
Type casting Pirates of Penzance
Lining up those who’ll sing and dance
Some aced the illusion
Others beyond delusion
Laughing so hard I wet my pants
Submitted on April 8, 2019, for contest PIRATE THEMED LIMERICK sponsored by TANIA KITCHIN - RANKED 4TH
April showers bring May flowers and weather breezy
This year April snow has brought us all to our kneesies
What the hell...
Must be Trumpie, disturbing the scheme of thingsies
Billy went to the black-tie affair.
He looked buff, and he felt debonair.
The ladies all smiled;
their husbands were riled
'cause except for the tie, he was bare.
April 4, 2020
She said I love men of racial renown,
and madly lust after dark, white, and brown.
I told her though Caucasian
from the eyes up I'm Asian
but O' mama, I'm black from the waist down!
There once was a black hip named Kool
who kept fifty two bags of wool:
Black from the master,
blond from his sister
and gray from now fifty bald ghouls.
27 April 2015
Sponsor : Jan Allison
Written: January 2, 2009
Updated: April 23, 2012
There once was a lizard named Rex(ie)
Whose head was always tilted and ready
Sitting next to the glass wall
Patiently waiting for Saul
To feed him tasty hornworm bread(ie).
Note: Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection
Written on May 17, 2012
Updated on April 17, 2017
MrPhiburn, a man who had tried
To live not by the truth, but all lies
No surprise where he went
For him, eternity was spent
Wearing pants that were
Very well fried.
Inspired by: “Liar, liar pants on fire”
Baseball is on my mind more,
When frigid winds freeze to the core,
Seems eons away,
Snow shovels strike out, wood bats score!
The vicar surveyed her wide girth
Was scared that in church she’d give birth
He raised his eyebrows
Then rushed through their vows..
He wasn’t adept at childbirth!
Inspired by the poem ‘Decision Needed’ by Maurice Rigoler
13TH April 2016
There was an old geezer from Pippin
who wanted to go skinny dippin'.
He gave his wife whisky;
they got bare and and frisky.
Then into the pond both went slippin'.
April 9, 2018, entered in Viv Wigley's Traditional Limerick Contest
On Jim the Trim's cruise, in a luxury liner
He was asked to be frisked, what a stinger!
You see, the alarm went off
He was taken and 'cuffed
Wee metal marbles, found in his boxer.
KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
18 April 2015