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Limerick Poems About April | April Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

JUICY FRUIT

A busty young lady from Peel Her boobies she couldn't conceal They were such a huge size That she won a first prize For the fruit men most wanted to feel 7th April 2015 I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice

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Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, wind,

HE'S HAVING A FART ATTACK

A constipated vicar named Bart Was in church when he dropped a huge fart He said 'Lord I have sinned' For I’ve got pooey wind Blushing scarlet he did soon depart! 26th April 2016


Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: funny, humorous,

THE ADVENTURES OF JIM THE TRIM-AT THE BEACH

On this tropical beach, one hot summer day
Jim the Trim came, his bod to display
Been workin’ out day and night
Made the girls' eyes burn bright
Next, he's running from muscles that sashay





KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
10 April 2015


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN THE SINK

I'm thirsty - I needed a drink There lurking in my kitchen sink Lying flat on his back He’s no longer jet black A hedgehog…now he doesn't stink! 11th April 2015



Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, funny love, giggle, humor, people, silly, tree,

Out Pops - a collab with Olive Eloisa Guillermo

Two poets who couldn't agree Raise their voices to their loud pleas One wasn't able to stop His zip open, out pops! Haha, it's a pea, not the size of a tree ©JAFraser and OEGuillermo 15.18pm, April 07, 2015


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: introspection,

No Respect

There once was a man whose intellect
He did not at anytime neglect
His imagination dull
New ideas he would cull
From his colleagues received no respect  

Written: April 21, 2015


Albert Einstein quoted as saying, "The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but
imagination".


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: car, for her, humorous,

SPEEDY GONZALEZ - FOR ANDREA

Andrea was late - drove at the speed of light Traffic cops chased her - she got such a fright The cop got out his book Gave her a stern look She’s off to traffic school so she now gets it right Posted with full permission of Andrea (speedy) Dietrich 2nd April 2015


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, thank you,

FLOOD WARNING

There may be a flood in the Isle of Man From the bladder of poetry Jan There is no denying Inco pads I’ll be buying I’ll judge the contest as fast as I can 27th April 2015


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, poetry,

FROM BAD TO VERSE

Jan doesn't write iambic pentameter So please don't condescend and mock her We have different styles I bring laughter and smiles Please remember Jan is just an amateur! 30th April 2015


Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: funny, humorous,

THE ADVENTURES OF JIM THE TRIM- AT THE METRO

Jim the Trim’s been watching too much video
The kind that caused rise in his libido
Mind still on a femme fatale
Was brought to the hospital
His front was trapped by the doors of the Metro.






KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
10 April 2015


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, flying, humorous,

SHE'S NOT LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

An overweight lady named Annie Has got an absurdly large fanny Since she boarded a plane That is destined for Spain She's wedged in the seat in Miami! Thanks to Andrea for helping me with the meter for this one Jan Allison 12th April 2016


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: baby, body, humorous,

POOR WEE MAN

My unfortunate uncle named Rick Was endowed with a very small wick But he was still quite able To impregnate aunt Mable Who gave birth to a son they called Dick 2nd April 2017


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, me,

SEX CHANGE

Folks know me as ‘poetry Jan’ But soupers I once was a man … In a very long op My male bits got the chop And I altered my name from Stan! HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY SOUPERS!!!! 1st April 2018


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: philosophy,

Karma

There's a gal known as Karma; she'll charm ya,

and folks, I don't want to alarm ya,

but do somebody wrong,

and you'll sing a sad song

'cause she'll hunt ya down; then she'll harm ya!


April 29, 2018


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: winter,

April's Been Trumped



April showers bring May flowers and weather breezy This year April snow has brought us all to our kneesies What the hell... Something smells Must be Trumpie, disturbing the scheme of thingsies


Poem Details | by Line Gauthier |
Categories: dance, funny, judgement, voice,

ALL PIRATES NOT CREATED EQUAL



Type casting Pirates of Penzance
Lining up those who’ll sing and dance
Some aced the illusion
Others beyond delusion
Laughing so hard I wet my pants 



Submitted on April 8, 2019, for contest PIRATE THEMED LIMERICK sponsored by TANIA KITCHIN  -  RANKED 4TH


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: funny, humorous,

Smart and Sexy

She said I love men of racial renown,
and madly lust after dark, white, and brown.
  I told her though Caucasian
  from the eyes up I'm Asian
but O' mama, I'm black from the waist down!



                 April 2015


Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: funny, humor, humorous,

FIFTY HEADS OF GRAY

There once was a black hip named Kool
who kept fifty two bags of wool:
Black from the master,
blond from his sister
and gray from now fifty bald ghouls.




27 April 2015
Limerick Contest
Sponsor : Jan Allison


Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: animals, funny,

Portrait of a Lizard

Written: January 2, 2009
Updated: April 23, 2012

There once was a lizard named Rex(ie)
Whose head was always tilted and ready
Sitting next to the glass wall
Patiently waiting for Paul
To feed him tasty hornworm bread(ie).


Note: Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection


Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: death, funny,

Fried Pants

Written on May 17, 2012
Updated on April 17, 2017

MrPhiburn, a man who had tried
To live not by the truth, but all lies
No surprise where he went
For him, eternity was spent
Wearing pants that were
Very well fried.

Inspired by: “Liar, liar pants on fire”




Poem Details | by Chaim Wilson |
Categories: april, baseball, winter,

Oh To Hear 'Play Ball'

Baseball is on my mind more,
When frigid winds freeze to the core,
Opening day,
Seems eons away,
Snow shovels strike out, wood bats score!


Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: funny, people,

Coupon Carla

Written by Gail DeBole 
Updated on April 11, 2017

A coupon clipper named Carla
Has a pile of coupons in her parla'.
      She clips more each week,
      Treats each like an antique,
And guards them against any burgla'.


Note: Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: baby, humorous, marriage,

CALL THE MIDWIFE

The vicar surveyed her wide girth Was scared that in church she’d give birth He raised his eyebrows Then rushed through their vows.. He wasn’t adept at childbirth! Inspired by the poem ‘Decision Needed’ by Maurice Rigoler 13TH April 2016


Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: adventure, funny, hilarious, holiday, humorous,

THE ADVENTURES OF JIM THE TRIM - HOLIDAY CRUISE

On Jim the Trim's cruise, in a luxury liner
He was asked to be frisked, what a stinger!
You see, the alarm went off
He was taken and 'cuffed
Wee metal marbles, found in his boxer.











KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
18 April 2015


Poem Details | by Janice Canerdy |
Categories: age, grandparents, humor,

Grandma and Grandpa Did WHAT


 

There was an old geezer from Pippin
who wanted to go skinny dippin'.
He gave his wife whisky;
they got bare and and frisky.
Then into the pond both went slippin'.



April 9, 2018, entered in Viv Wigley's Traditional Limerick Contest