Limerick Poems About Animals | Animal Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: beauty, dog, fun, funny,

Doggy Style - Oh My

The eighties set fashion on fire,
That’s why it’s the look I desire!
So I’ve nailed it, long-term,
With a hot poodle perm,
Just like Brian May, Cher and Mariah.

Showed my stylist a photo of Whitney
She went ever so pale very quickly,
She got acid and bleach,
Three big drumfuls of each,
And some creosote“Yes!” I cried, “Hit me!”

She slathered me, crisped me like crazy,
I said, “Hold up the mirror! Amaze me!”
And - woohoo and way-hay!
I was Jennifer Grey,
Ripe ‘n’ ready to woo Patrick Swayze!

But then - it all got rather strange,
For my poodle perm started to change, 
Seems its poodle-dog mind
Was not noble or kind -
It was dirty, debauched and deranged!

My friends weren’t impressedThey’d cry “Wowzers!”
As my perm tried to dry-hump their trousers,
It would steal all their shoes,
Roll in animal poos -
I was banned from their elegant houses.

But soon they were howling with laughter,
It would jump in the lake - I’d go after!
Chasing kitties for kicks,
Going crazy for sticks,
My new perm was a doggy disaster! 
It would seek other perms! It would spot em,
Bound up close, and then sniff round their bottom!
This all got me in trouble,
With Bon Jovi’s double,
Who called the police, which was rotten

So now I’m awaiting the chop,
Down at “Woofterz”, the dog-grooming shop.
Well, I’ll no longer feel,
Like a smokin’ Brooke Shields,
But at least all the lawsuits will stop!

6 May 2018
For Maureen McGreavy’s Contest “Tiger Lilies, Dandelions and Bearberries Oh My!”

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: animals

The Meerkat

There is a strange animal in our zoo called a meerkat
That makes me laugh every time I look at
Although “kat” is in its name
It’s no feline just the same
So you can say the meerkat is no mere cat.

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: fun,

Hey Jude - Wit of Twain

There once was a man named Jude, who liked to run in the nude. Women blushed as he ran by, while the men began to cry, "Hey Jude! Put some clothes on, dude!" Quote: "Man is the only animal that blushes or needs to." 6/19/15 For Andrea's Wit of Twain contest

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: animals, , cute,

The Mouse is a Rat - Show Me the Funny II

The mouse in our house is a rat,
I'm now quite certain of that.
It's not little and cute,
It's long and uncouth.
Can't wait til I hear it go splat!

(An apology to all animal loversI really do not
want to kill itI love animals tooI just want the
germy rodent out of my house, and I want him to 
stay gone!)
For Andrea's "Show Me the Funny Part II" contest

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: funny, mysteryday, day,


           Z O O

My friend worked at the Zoo
Every day he smelled like animal poo
  Monday's he clean the lions den
  the next day he became, Hawaiian.
Leaving behind all the goo on his shoe.

Zoo's R Us


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Denominated Dog

Old Danny who lived on the outskirts of town
in a shack made of iron and very run down,
was tarnished poor sod,
by one man of God,
who when speaking to Danny always put on a frown

The Parish Priest had what I’d say was a lust,
for he’d tell his congregation that it is a must,
to be generous with offer,
for the church coffer,
and one look at Danny, said he don’t own a crust.

Danny poor soul met the Priest and he cried
while he carried his dog, who once ran by his side,
and now dead as a dodo,
Danny wants to know,
if the Priest could say mass for his old mate who died 

“Good heavens my son!” the Priest looked upon Dan,
“This church only holds service, for woman and man,
but for beasts you may try,
when ever they die,
the new church up the road for an animal plan.”

Dan said, “Thank you father, you’ve been a good scout.
You helping my dog will help its soul no doubt…
for the service they make,
do you think they’ll take,
five thousand dollars, so to help their church out?”

The Priest cleared his throat and his eyes they extend,
then he said, “Wait a minute! Some rules I can bend,
bring your dog and I’ll pray,
for you neglected to say,
that your dog was a Catholic my friend!”

Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: allegory, angst, people, social

Poor Choices

There once was a prison for boys.
To some, guns were not only toys.
They had too much fun
Life lived on the run.
Confinement has very few joys.

Teachers taught; helped some of them learn.
Disturbance sometimes took a turn.
“Teach” treated them right.
Boys “partied” at night.
In the classroom stomachs did churn.

An offender has feelings, too.
Not just an animal at the zoo.
But crime has a cost.
One's freedom is lost.
There's no more McDonald's, for you!

Fast food was not their only loss.
Prison guards were mixed in the sauce.
Obey what they say.
Or suffer their way.
Survival or cry; it's a toss!

Exercising in the hot sun.
It's what they must do to have fun.
With sweat pouring down,
Some cuss and some frown.
Poor choices, have this privilege won!

© May 30, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest:  BEHIND BARS BLUES 	 
Sponsored by: Miranda Lambert

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Kissing A Pig

Silliness can eventually become a way of life A whole bunch more fun than a bowl of rice Or dancing a jig Maybe kissing a pig The animal kind can also be nice © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny

Animal Crackers

Oft I've pondered this question a lot

     Do vegans eat animal crackers or not

          I know they don't eat meat

               And with eggs must be discreet

                    Or their diet might soon go to pot

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: dream,

Animal Magnetism

An amazing image just popped into view Was wrapped in the arms of Penelope Cruz Feverishely kissed my bod Nowhere she didn't prod So the animal magnetism I possess is true © Jack Ellison 2016

Poem Details | by Richard Pickett |
Categories: animals

Baxter the Bunny

This is a Limerick about Baxter the Bunny,
an animal comic that Spike thinks is funny
I've seen him before
at the Comedy store,
I wonder if he makes good money

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: appreciation,

Nature Programs Get Top Billing

Love nature programs for they're amazing up close filming How do they capture those exploits so thrilling It's beyond my comprehension Surely grabs my attention The cheetah, the fastest land animal at 70 mph gets top billing © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: animal, humor,

My Stuffed Animal

My animal was hinting again,
staring at me in the den,
taking my meds,
he begged and pled,
could he be stuffed with a lot of phlegm?


Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: angst, hope

Foxy Lacy

There once was this gal named PD
A gal that I never did see
She's asked me to guess
Of her features what's best
And just how foxy is she

For: PD's Inner Animal Contest

Poem Details | by Mary Nagy |
Categories: childhood, family, children, funny,

Chirty Limerick

There once was a girl we called Chirty.
She was happy just when she was dirty.
She would sleep with the dogs
and play with the hogs
and stay up catching bugs till 2:30.

She just loved anything that could crawl.
When she'd show me, you know I would bawl.
I can't stand the bugs
but I'll still give her hugs.
(even when she hangs them on her wall)

One day she was catching a snake
I was praying it only was fake.
It was not only real
but a really BIG deal
when it joined in our swim at the lake.

She's an animal lover, no doubt
and she never stays in.....only out.
When she's old she may change...
that would seem oh so strange
cause this is just what she's about!

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Time On Vacation

Time On Vacation

Time on vacation seemed to fly so fast;
Pretty soon all gone by and then it past;
No longer here;
Once was so dear,
And much longer wish that it would last.

Jim Horn

Back home from vacation at Animal 
Kingdom Lodge in Disneyworld in
Orlando, FL area.

Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: age, animal, humor, wisdom,

The Skin Were In

Our skin when young was soft as a cuddly baby kittens,
getting turkey necks and batwings only leads to wisdom,
will not ever admit defeat,
as I look at my new crows feet,
at least we still have some animal magnetism.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: addiction,

Animal Magnetism

An amazing image just came into view Was wrapped in the arms of Penelope Cruz Kissed me all over my bod Where girlies feared to trod So the animal magnetism I possess is true

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Social Animal Not Cultured Horn Limerick

Social Animal Not Cultured Horn Limerick

Trump is social animal but not cultured
And women's lives he had adultered
With smile phony as can be
Always despicable was he
Working class people went around and detoured.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Jungle Buffoons

Monkeys, chimpanzees, and hairy baboons Some good looking dudes, these jungle buffoons Inside ANIMAL WEEKLY These jungle sweeties Are photographed wearing polka dot pantaloons

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Giraffes at Animal Kingdom Lodge

Giraffes at Animal Kingdom Lodge

A great, long neck had a tall giraffe;
And when I did see made me laugh;
Bent to drink,
Each neck link,
Always causing me to crack in half.

Jim Horn

Just got back home after 7 nights at
Animal Kingdom Lodge at Disneyworld.

Poem Details | by Joseph May |
Categories: fun, political,

Moore - Collaboration

  There is a man named Roy Moore
 Who 'dated' teenagers by the score
 Their schools he would call
 He was banned from a mall!
 Now he wants to be on the senate floor!
  There is such a thing called a 'spoor',
 an animal scent to be sure.
 When Roy got to the mall
 on all fours he would fall
 and sniff out the girls on the floor!
         Dale Cozart

 Feel free to add a limerick

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Next Meal and Feel

Next Meal and Feel

Heard animal sounds as they roar
Where people live who are poor
From where will come next meal
And avoid starvation and its feel;
They won't be around anymore.

James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Still Feel Same About Trump

Still Feel Same About Trump

Do people about Trump still feel the same?
And he always refuses to accept any blame;
What we realize,
Always does criticize;
Acts like an animal in cage we cannot tame.

Jim Horn

Are Trump supporters still supporting Trump?

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Brain Small and Granular

Brain Small and Granular 

Was born with brain small and granular;
Seems wild and needs an animal handler;
Rather dumb;
Blind has become;
Stared at solar eclipse which was annular.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Bolivia, NC

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Jesus Was Crucified and Died

Jesus Was Crucified and Died

We went to church and had nothing to hide,
And loved Jesus who was crucified and died;
A pleasant sort;
Us did support;
We all did want to come along for the ride.

Jim Horn

Getting deadly for a trip to Animal Kingdom
LodgeI mean readySermon was about no
one wanting to go to his son's weddingHe
must have really been a terror of the block.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

About Had Replied

About He Replied

About what was realized he had replied;
Read Bible with my mind being occupied;
Lifelong event,
Heaven sent;
Completed all of this until day he died.

Jim Horn

Leaving tomorrow early AM for Animal Kingdom
Lodge in Disneyworld for a weekWill escape from
writing poems for a whileBye for now and another
Happy Sunday in church.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Did Try To Detect

Did Try To Detect

Past conflicts in life we did try to detect,
By having applied  a background check;
People compared;
Those who cared;
Right person for job are sure to select.

Jim Horn

Dear Christine Phillips,

How super impressive your zoo poem is
Reminds me of when my wife and I stayed 
in the Animal Kingdom Lodge at Walt Disney 
World in Orlando, FloridaIt is a whole world 
of its ownWe had animals walking right outside 
of our window we saw came out every day and 
go back in at nightGreat experience.

Jim Horn

I will just add to my most current poem being
that I have exceeded ten again.