They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick
In Aussie-land dwell the marsupials
By night they paint the town connubial
They make them a joey
Named Zoey or Chloe
Neighbors jump for joy indubitable
A bossy old cow in the street
was rolling while licking its teat!
When it howled like a cat,
I thought: What’s up with that?
Can bossy old cows be in heat?
Inspired by both a poem and the limerick contest of Jan Allison
There was a baboon in my bed,
I thought it appeared to be dead,
So I turned out the light,
But it chattered all night
And swung off the curtains instead.
For PD’s Silly poem contest
The python hung down from the tree,
It hissed and it scared little me,
I gave it a whack,
To make it turn back,
And have someone else for its tea.
For Russell’s Five Minute Challenge, 11th May
Percy pig was feeling quite shaken -
He'd heard pigs were slaughtered for bacon
Turning white as a sheet
He then started to bleat
As a sheep could he be mistaken!
Entered into 101 in a row contests ~14
sponsored by PD Linda:-)
17th June 2016
Jim ordered a racehorse online
A thoroughbred sold in it's prime.
Now just for a laugh
They sent a giraffe
But it wins by a neck every time.
An elephant fell out of bed
And got a huge bruise on his head
He climbed back in his bunk
Then rubbed his aching trunk…
Best sleep in the low bunk instead!
An article about a dung beetle
Says they devour matter that’s faecal
Imagine eating pooh
It’s what dung beetles do
The fetor of their breath must be lethal!
Ray Gridley has a possible diagnosis
Alas, rabbits do catch viral myxomatosis
Since Jan's is a famous banging bunny
Who stays far from field and ANY honey
Energizer Bunny will bang on till unconscious!
Animal was happy in mud
rolled in it whenever he could
Miss Piggy looked aghast
Kermit said what a blast
Gonzo thought all Muppets should
Penned 1 Sept 2018
All creatures from the Muppets
I wish that I was a baboon
to make all the lady apes swoon.
On my chest I would pound.
Then I’d strut all around,
drop my pants, and show them my moon.
For Viv Wigley's "I wish I was" Poetry Contest
Cassidy was a curious dog;
One day he walked into a bog,
Coming out, he looked about,
He couldn't see and began to pout;
Because he’s a sludge caked dog!
In my soup I could have sworn I saw a shark.
Swimming in roux that was rather dark.
But to my relief,
the fin a bay leaf.
Now I wear glasses before each meal I start.
The tail of a beaver, bill of a duck
yet they pull it off with honor and pluck
made with spare parts
they capture our hearts
with DNA tests that read WTF
for Any Animal Or Creature Limerick Poetry Contest
A blue footed Booby called Dougal
had a beak that was shaped like a bugle
so it may have looked funny
but it held all his money
that Booby named Dougal was frugal.
11th September 2018
For contest 'Animal Limerick', sponsor Charles Messina
Three cats did share the same house.
Two sweet but one was a grouse.
Two got along great but the third t'was love/hate.
But there isn't a mouse in the house.
Turkey farmer Jones was seen as a kook.
Many declared his whole life was a fluke.
But they were not aware
Jones had learned a skill rare,
he was fluent in speaking gobbledygook.
An amazingly ugly gnu,
Once stopped on the plains for a poo,
A lion went past
And was almost aghast
So he ran off whilst yelling "Ker....phew"!
Seeing the posting of the zoo unicorn
Could not wait to go see his horn
My eyes just could not believe
The boy I had been deceived
Poor horse got thrown a lot of popcorn
a Linda-Marie = (contest) =
There is a strange animal in our zoo called a meerkat
That makes me laugh every time I look at
Although “kat” is in its name
It’s no feline just the same
So you can say the meerkat is no mere cat.
My research reveals there's an Allosaurus
And a dinosaur called a Zupaysaurus.
As you can readily see,
I have searched from A to Z,
But am yet to find one called a Thesaurus!
Entry for Roy Jerden's "Limericks Clean and Clever" Contest
(10 Nov 2014)
I once knew a girl from Nantucket
Who chased down a goose, just to pluck it
As she ran, took a spill
So he gave her a quill
And I guess we all know, where he stuck it
Just not clean enough for contests---lol
There once was a man named Jude,
who liked to run in the nude.
Women blushed as he ran by,
while the men began to cry,
"Hey Jude! Put some clothes on, dude!"
Quote: "Man is the only animal that blushes or needs to."
For Andrea's Wit of Twain contest
New York City is overrun by rats!
And is driving the poor citizens bats.
Guv'mint will botch extinction.
They ne'er act with distinction.
I'd suggest they bring in legions of cats!
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved