Limerick Poems About Heaven | Heaven Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,


A nubile young vicar named Jude Was seen swimming, totally nude The bishop said WOW Just look at you now Your assets - they need to be viewed! Fiction write! 07-05-17 Invited him home for a drink A toast as their glasses did clink Robes down on the floor Performing a chore... How far will this story now sink. WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH The vicar bent over to pray The bishop could not look away So for his protection Took up a collection A robe now conceals his display WRITTEN BY CHRIS GREEN I think this story about being nude will sink low I will tell on those guys, all I know Those two men are not holy The bishop's roly-poly And the vicar used to be in a nude girly show WRITTEN BY LIN LANE The bishop was feeling romantic The vicar thought the man pedantic When the vicar turned around To give the bishop a frown The bishop gasped, "Lord, you're gigantic!" WRITTEN DALE GREGORY COZART Said Jude, will we both go to hell- Said bishop, you never can tell But please will you turn I've got carpet burn And my knees are beginning to swell WRITTEN BY GARY SMITH As the bishop continued to stare He thought such a body's not fair To see the nude vicar was hard on his ticker and soon he had to change underwear WRITTEN BY ROGER ADAMS Mother Teresa told me so In the heaven we’ll dance too slow If you want to come Bring us some Rum Otherwise you may stop and go WRITTEN BY PASHANG SALEHI btw..What would the Pontiff say? Would there be hell to pay? Or would the Pope just drop the soap and hope he'd be invited to play WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS When suddenly a knock at the door they decided they'd rather ignore in walked the pope, joined in the group grope next day they were all saddle sore WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER The pope thought it not at all freakly when asking the other men meekly that if they were game and would do the same they could set up appointments weekly WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Jude's assets developed so well As the bishop could obviously tell But you might be surprised How it grew to that size Well, he used it to ring the church bell WRITTEN BY RAY GRIDLEY 07-06-17

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: chocolate, christian, funny, giggle,

Manx Mass Grave

I'll never forget Midnight Mass
No incense -  just Jan's chocolate gas
She knelt down to pray
And blew me away
We all went to Heaven First-Class

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Died Being A Miner and More

Died Being A Miner

Ate great chowder in crowded diner;
Then we had sailed on a lovely liner;
Life would end;
To heaven send;
He did die digging coal being a miner.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: imagination

Rock - PaPer - SciSSorS

Rock * paper * scissors

G.I.-Joe is all covered in snow.
Lucky Jane cut a metal show.
One- two- three-
The same game as me!
Who's that tie breaker, John doe?

Shelter me with paper above.
Rocks of salvation with love.
Blessing from heaven 
Is it 12 disciples or eleven?
Scissors I'm dreaming of~

Rocks bring to much grief
Turn over a new leaf
I found a new plan
Hold the paper in your hand
Find the page of belief.

`  ~SKAT~

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: lovelove,

Unspeakable Love

Just what is unspeakable love?
Is it love sent from heaven above?
With its prefix of “un,”
is this love then just one
I’m simply not able to speak OF? 

For Adeleke Adeite's Contest:
Unspeakable Love (Limerick)

Poem Details | by Huberta van Akkeren |
Categories: humorous,

Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

‘t was on a rainy day in Camelot
A knight saw a maid he liked a lot
Before he paid heed
He remembered, indeed
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The maid, it seemed, had almost forgot
The words of her mother, whose name was Dot
For marital bliss
Remember just this 
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The knight with the maid was quite besot
And after a time they tied the knot
She never did scold
He did not grow old
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The end of this tale may surprise a lot
Because heaven is not the place he got
 Words one day you may recall
Some, but certainly not all
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: golf,

Legacy of Arnold Palmer Limerick

Legacy of Arnold Palmer

What a great golfer he had been
At or below par hitting ball in
Always something about Arnold Palmer
You played more steady and were calmer
On day in heaven will see him again.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Caryl Muzzey |
Categories: love,

Lavender Love

There was two hearts that were meant to touch
because of the fact that they loved so much.
He saw in her eyes,
deep lavender skies
and loving hand he could forever clutch.

On virgin sands they sauntered alone
lushed in lavender love of their own.
This must be true love,
from heaven above
she used up all her eau de cologne.

Copyright © 2011 By Caryl SMuzzey

Seventh Place Winner ~ "Loveland Limerick” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Linda- Marie The Sweetheart of PS.
April 4, 2011

Poem Details | by David Caldera |
Categories: imagination, life, people, uplifting,

A Homeless Man King


Paths followed are many, 
I, a slave to this dusty, dirty road
Destiny has beckoned me,
My past,  won't let me be,
I must stand tall & walk out on my own.

A simple plan with just, a bit of a twist
I have no interest in conflict,
Unless,  there's a conflict of interest
to be.
Lead me not, into the bowels of hell,
Keep me,  from the evil things I see.

Forgive me!  those whose paths I
did cross.
 Heaven forgive, they who 
put burden on me..
A poor man, I am told
Homeless they say, 
but still a man any way,
I sold everything,  to walk , these streets like a king.

David Bear Caldera

Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: clothes, humor, mystery, sexy,

Have You Ever Imagined A Girl Without Her Clothes On

He dreamed of her without her clothes
Her panties and bra let’s lose those
With her high heels gone
Let’s not dwell upon
Why he had them on heaven knows

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny

The In-Sync Honeymoon Dreamers

On an island of love, side by side,
strolled Ron and his beautiful bride.
So like heaven it seemed,
the two of them deemed
that to be there, they both must have died!

“Are we possibly dreaming?” they said.
“If we’re dreaming, we really aren’t dead!”
Upon saying this rhyme
at the very same time,
they awoke in their very own bed!

“So in synche with our dreams we have been,”
Ron said to his wife with a grin,
“We need never leave home.
Make our next stop be Rome.
Close your eyes, dear; let’s DO IT again!”

For LInda-Marie's Contest:
"Loveland LImerick"

Based on photo JT76955-Edit jpg
Written by Andrea Dietrich

Poem Details | by Demetrios Trifiatis |
Categories: heaven, life, love,


                 There was a thirsty soul on the earth plane

                  That never stopped for water to complain 

                           To all places went to search  

                        For her thirst desired to quench, 
                Distressed, to heaven soared dew to obtain! 

                          ©    Demetrios Trifiatis
                                 07 November 2015

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, humor,

Cocky Engineer

A cocky engineer on his way home Spotting his boss standing alone Perplexed and confused Totally bemused His groans soon turned to moans I'm trying to make this thing work But I'm starting to feel like a berk I need this copied tonight Or my deals out of sight What I need is a smart office clerk Hey boss, this is what you should do Let me push the button for you Insert your paper here It'll come out over there Your deal will make a dollar or two So into the machine his paper went Hoping that his deals heaven sent As it's taken with ease He can't believe what he sees It's bloody shredded, malcontent Hey, cocky engineer come back here This situation I don't endear Today you were employed Your now null and void It's about time you disappeared <*>

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: heaven, humor, religion, boy,

The Cowboy and Beelzebub

Off to the Church this Cowboy went For Sunday to him was Heaven sent But as he took to his pew Suddenly into their view Beelzebub, he, now present Imagine the screaming now starting To the exits they're simply departing But this Cowboy remains Against Beelzebub's deign Oh the odours of the leaving farting To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says In a broken down language display Are you frightened of me Am I stronger than thee Not really, who do you think you portray For Satan I am, but you never have fears No matter what I say, leaves you no tears So simply, what can it be That your not scared of thee I've been married to your sister for years .

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: faith, natural disasters, political

Presidential Supporter Takes on God

BP knew on February Thirteenth

Of structural flaws in the well beneath

     Goldman Sachs sold its stock

     It should come as no shock

The Lord in heaven is grinding his teeth

*Goldman Sachs was the number two contributor to the Obama campaign and 
suspicion has surfaced as to why the White House has inadequately monitored 
offshore drilling and has been slow to act on stopping the oil spill 
GS sold nearly 60 percent of its BP stock before the April 20th explosion Coincidence?  Insider trading?  

Poem Details | by Angeline Haikutwinkle |
Categories: god, inspiration, philosophy,

Faith --- Answer Me

I gaze at the approaching thunderstorm
and inhale the earthly scent of rainstorm
Her tears
as spears
is like a million blows on human fears

I ponder awhile beneath the lit-up sky
then words start rolling & a prayer is sent up high
I wish for peace
for all fighting to cease
and then the sky beckons with shades of cerise 

I loose the heart and soul on mankind
it's easy to lose faith without God's sign
When lost
we toss
the beauty of his creation for lust and greed

Then I witness the miracles of life stories
coincidences that appear and save lives
His wisdom
for our kingdom
is unfathomable for our limited visions

If only we can soar with his visions
Like an eagle on a wind's rhythm!

A mirror response to Mystic Rose's poem below:

I watch the splendor of a shooting star 
and breathe the beauty of a hum-guitar   
Her light 
in flight 
is like a million lanterns on a cooling night

I dream awhile beneath the tarp of heaven 
then close my eyes & slowly count to seven 
I wish in true 
for souls renew 
and soon I’m covered in night’s dew 

I loose the mind and pry his realm  
it`s an expedience of God’s mystic dream    
When free 
I see 
the beauty of his creation for all eternity 

I watch the splendor of a bird in flight  
and breathe the beauty of a blessed night 
His wings 
they sing 
to me of freedom, and all a night can bring;

If only we can learn to sing
Like a Cardinal on a string!

Written by: Mystic Rose 
June 24, 2015 

Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: funny, humor, kiss, love,

Do You Remember Where You Fell In Love

Took heaven to help me to see
That with her I wanted to be
I first felt love’s glow
And this I still know
We kissed under coconut tree

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny

Split in Twain By Divorce


You can have the two kids but not the hound
And I'll need the Caddie to get around
Said she I'll take the house
You good for nothin' louse
By your cock and bull I will not be bound


love that drifts apart
like two diverging rivers
ne'er to flow as one


Their marriage made in heaven was as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar
'Til his boozing and roving eyes caused the whole affair to falter

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No5 in PDs "Divorce Club" Contest - December 2010

Poem Details | by elizabeth lepapa |
Categories: loveme, heart, heart, me,


Stared me with eyes of gold......Sun radiated from my heart

Two hearts crashed towards each other

A  heaven was created

"I never want to see you ever again"

My heart weeped,

Terror and war,

Suddenly disastrous floods attacked;

aching nerves.......dust turned to soot,


in the desert of my solitude;

Reflected my heart to find you fertile plated;

The shadows of your voices....The mirage of your lips

"Self Denial"

The only true love written on my heart,

My heart fought with my soul

I don't need you

The war have to end

The truth..Inside i know you are the painkiller,
You are the plague in my heart

Elizabeth Lepapa for Me against me contest by

Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend, heaven, heaven,

Heaven Sent

I once thought you had been heaven sent, 
but now you bring all this mad ferment 
Your crazy emotions 
and endless commotions 
tell me we were never heaven meant.

Poem Details | by Seren Roberts |
Categories: humorous,

Luck and Heaven

If I am in Luck, Heaven is near Showered and waxed,good atmosphere Dressed to kill or should say thrill His libido has gone downhill Viagra worked, gave a thankful cheer
Penned May 21 2015

Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: family, funnygod, girl, god,


Grandma, the little girl said
Where do we go when we’re dead?
           We go with God up in heaven
            She told the young girl of seven
And gently patted the top of her head.

Then my goldfish who died I can say
Is with God up in heaven today
            Little brother yelled no
             I know that ain’t so
Cause I saw mommy flush him away!


Poem Details | by T.A. Skyles-Theoklapoet |
Categories: inspirational


                     Trouble starts and things go wrong.
                       Bad stuff happens I must stay strong.

                       God already gave me wings.
                       Heaven I'll live with our king.

                       My life I've lived like a beautiful song.
                                         Teresa Skyles
Entered in Leighann Anderson's"Sea of words"contest.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

God Made Environment

God Made Environment 

God made environment we are surrounded by;
All around our existing world under a blue sky;
Lived life complete,
And God will meet,
Someday when I am living in heaven on high.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: journey,

The Devil's Motel

We are all suspended between heaven and hell Which way are we headed only time will tell If I were to guess Should be scantily dressed In case you're sweltering at the Devil's Motel © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by Giles Scott |
Categories: confusion, death, god, health,

Locked-in syndrome

The Heaven that Christians foresee
Sounds utterly ghastly to me:
Without touch, taste or speech,
Loved ones just out of reach….
“Locked-in Syndrome” for Eternity!

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

My Pie I Am Baking

My Pie I Am Baking

History in the making had been breath-taking
Got up each day and my bed was making
While waiting for what may come this way
Then to the Lord prayers started to say
He helped me with my pie I am baking.

Only Good Things

Each morning will welcome gladly
Others did things so very sadly
Am sure that everyone does know
In heaven only good things grow
In need of Lord's love I am badly.

Poem Details | by SEGUN OGUNDEKO |
Categories: funny


There was a certain very, very, old man of Stamford,

who was asked to appear before a very great lord,

his heart then beat very wildly,

and he jittered around madly,

he tumbled and died, and in heaven met the greatest lord.

Poem Details | by T.A. Skyles-Theoklapoet |
Categories: love


His touch is unspoken love to me
His beautiful blue eyes set me free
His look,touch is my love
Comes from heaven above
Thats why I truly believe
     Teresa Skyles

Entered in Adeleke Adeite"unspeakable love"contest

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy, political,

Pains In Health Plan

Jimmy Kimmel talked about his son
who was born with a heart disease
Representative John Vaso voted
against Affordable Care act that
would have supported a woman
with a brain tumorPeople on a
retired fixed income are having 
a hard time keeping up with the
increases in health insuranceI
wrote these poems after thinking 
about this.

Pains In Health Plan

Our Congress members on are concentrating;
Pains in health plan they can be creating;
Bill not ever read,
Or have heard said;
What took place was plenty of prevaricating.

From us health benefits will want to rob,
By someone with big mouth or a fat slob;
From where I sit,
Are dumb dimwit,
And hope next election will lose their job.

There are things that we must confess;
Health Care plan has become a big mess;
Think of self only;
Leaving us lonely,
We are under duress causing so much stress.

Congress is not nice, courteous or ever kind;
Never leaving us with any peace of mind;
Sold us short;
Lent no support;
Even took advantage of deaf, dumb and blind.

All politicians we should learn how to avoid
Making all of us annoyed as well as paranoid;
Sure are sarcastic;
Doing things drastic;
Should flush them down toilet like a big void.

Constituents are being taking advantage of,
And with us won't share any of their love;
What's wrong with them?
Made our lives look grim;
So we have to pray to God in heaven above.

They never treat is like one of their own,
And soup given to us only had a big bone;
Pain in know where;
Not treat with care;
What they know nothing about leave alone.

What Congress really needs is to be officiated,
So that things will be successfully legislated;
Goals be met;
Not fool around or fret;
Or a successor to them will be contemplated.

James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

PSWhich one do you like the best?

Poem Details | by Shelby Wiser |
Categories: friendshipme, friend, me,

Friend like you

Written with pencil
Sealed with a kiss
If your my friend answer me this.
Are we friends or are we not ? 
You told me once but I forgot
So tell me now and tell me true 
So I can say im here for you.
Of all the friends ive ever met, 
Your the one I wont forget 
And if I die before you do 
Ill go to Heaven and wait for you 
Ill give the angels back their wings 
And risk the loss of everything 
There isnt a thing i wouldnt do 
To have a friend like you..

Poem Details | by Rick Parise |
Categories: funny, imagination,

Nancy J And Her Poetic Twist

* ** There once was a gal named Nancy J. who broke all the rules each and everyday her words made you think within your soul they would sink a sweet slice of heaven you might say! ** * ______________________ Contest ~" Make Me Laugh"

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Just After Jesus

Just After Jesus

Just after Jesus had arose,
A toast to Him I did propose
What was it Trump had in mind?
With smallest one we could ever find,
Am sure that only heaven knows.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Russell Sivey |
Categories: death, funny, life,

Ladder to Salvation

I climbed the ladder to salvation With bumps and bruises at each station We never saw eye to eye Kept saying I’ll never die Maybe heaven will be a vacation
Russell Sivey

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: analogy, humorous,

Southern Accent

Southern Accent

People in the South their lives have spent,
So they can speak with a Southern accent;
Found in food,
And a family feud;
When they died to heaven with them went.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Thank God For Great Health

Thank God For Great Health

Life seems so short it does appear;
Thank God for great health of those here; 
Now that from our sins are set free, 
Soon in heaven with God we will be.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Eduardo Soriano |
Categories: anxiety, beauty, break up,

Desert and Loss

Year after year in the sun we would shower.
Nature and children would bloom us a flower.
A offspring of inseminate mother that wasn't sown.
Queen she will be for i would give her all i own.
My darling my love i would want more than an hour.

Earth and heaven in glade they bestow,
On earth under bower her kindle she would know.
Her balm athletic fawn makes a calm sunrise.
Her perish stabbed a paining heart of cries.
Not only that but her mother left unknown.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

No Matter How Far

No Matter How Far

No matter how far life may extend
Often bends but comes to an end
Awkward yet and am willing to bet
People soon start becoming upset
When each rule do break or bend.

Parts of life turn out to be prevalent
First should receive God's consent
If heaven want to end up being
With God better start agreeing
So He will let you live in his tent.

Jim Horn

Trump's tax returns just appeared.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Glad That God Is Here

Glad That God Is Here

Am always glad that God is here;
To me sincere and so very near;
Looking forward to
A life that is new,
And soon His Son will reappear.

Jim Horn

Happy Birthday Again

With God a new life will begin;
Have a happy birthday again;
How glad you are,
From here and afar;
Next one better will have been.

I always wondered,
Exact place I have to go,
to find state of shock.

Will write another
Poem that is to my licking,
You will want to read.

Poem was becoming;
Quite the thing to be writing,
For relaxation.

When a poem will write,
Is for pure satisfaction,
Knowing it I wrote.

What poems mean to me,
Which I will write for myself,
Did appreciate.

Grinding halt came to,
When I wondered where I was;
Lost forevermore.

So slight could be chance,
When it was finally found,
Gave up and resigned.

Found that forbearance,
And acceptance of others,
Did answer my dreams.

May mind if I do,
What always pleases us both,
Way beyond a doubt.

What worry will do,
Makes your life a complete mess,
From start to finish.

Both qualitative,
And also quantitative;
How you measure things.

May be related;
Inversely proportional;
Meaning opposite.

Variance is a
Way to measure differences;
Were significant.

What if rational,
Or could be irrational
Way of seeing things.

While astronomy,
Is related to the stars;
Planets does include.

With trepidation,
Concentrated on remarks;
Effects that they had.

Am now close to death;
What to me matters the most;
Will be heaven bound.

Used dead reckoning
On typographical map,
To find destiny.

Umbilical cord,
Connects baby with the womb,
So life will begin.

Only those who are totally inept,
Failure never willing to accept,
And if hysteric,
Must be cleric,
Revealing secrets once well kept.

Trump have heard has a hot head,
And body looks like a lump of lead;
Talked off ears;
We shed tears;
Big mouth bled and he is now dead.

Also, for whatever this may be worth;
America has become a hell on earth.

Infection From Which Direction

Could there possibly be a connection;
When instilled in you is an infection;
We must warn;
Could be airborne;
Had come from a down wind direction.

Maybe back things must start to scale,
After we had continued to fail, fail, fail;
Become proficient,
While also efficient,
And smoothly sail not going into a gale.

What about Trump is really any good:
Have his own way wants and would;
A lousy loser,
Body abuser;
Promotes corruption when he could.

Might as well put all of my poems into
one poem being that I am always exceeding 
ten again and againGoal is 5,000 poems 
and to be Number 3Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

To Vote For Trump

To vote for Trump would be reluctant
Doesn't know about flowers that are succulent
Surely a person who is psychotic
And also has done things idiotic
Can you imagine him from heaven being sent

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

Fast Lane and Novocain

Fast Lane and Novocain

My thump is sore pure and plain
For it and fast lane need Novocain
Found out without use of my thumb
Was hard to bat and beat a drum
Music playing greatness to sustain.

While at home wife was wearing the pants
On boil on my thumb, she used a lance
Said my brain sure seemed so small
And she will go ahead and do it all
From caring for computer to finance.

I finally found so much spiritual food
That me and my soul viewed and viewed
What now does God have in store for me
Ability to write as well as hear and see
Cats who in heaven meowed and meowed.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Surely Sang A Song

Surely Sang A Song

We wanted to know what was wrong,
About wearing a barbed wire thong;
Not too swell;
So she did yell;
Should have heard her sing a song

Jim Horn

James 5 New International Version (NIV)
Warning to Rich Oppressors
5 Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery            that is coming on you2 Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten     your clothes3 Your gold and silver are corrodedTheir corrosion will      testify against you and eat your flesh like fireYou have hoarded wealth        in the last days4 Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who   mowed your fields are crying out against youThe cries of the harvesters  have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty5 You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgenceYou have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.[a] 6 You have condemned and murdered the innocent one,        who was not opposing you.
Patience in Suffering
7 Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming               See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop,          patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains8 You too, be             patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near                            9 Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you               will be judgedThe Judge is standing at the door!
10 Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of        suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord                 11As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered            You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord              finally brought aboutThe Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
12Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven             or by earth or by anything elseSay a simple  “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise       you will be condemned.
The Prayer of Faith
13Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them prayIs anyone happy?         Let them sing songs of praise14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them        call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with            oil in the name of the Lord15 And the prayer offered in faith will make        the sick person well; the Lord will raise them upIf they have sinned,         they will be forgiven16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and      pray for each other so that you may be healedThe prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
17 Elijah was a human being, even as we areHe prayed earnestly that         it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years   18Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced      its crops.
19 My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth       and someone should bring that person back, 20 remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and  cover over a multitude of sins.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

Am Already Available

Am Already Available

A Am already available
B Have been and am still able
C Could consider taking a chance
D Did finally learn how to dance
E Was exceptional when a kid
F Found they said I flipped my lid
G Learned what gravity of it was
H After I had received a horrible buzz
I  She indicated that I was an idiot
J And joked about it quite a bit
K Had become king of the ball
L Looks like everyone left the hall
M Made in heaven my love had been
N Around block took her for a spin
O Places on hill were occupied
P Put best forward and call me pie-eyed.
Q Quaintly we become well acquainted
S For my sweet behavior I was sainted
T With tiny toys tinkered around
U That made an undulating sound
V It seemed like for a various reason
W I would start all of my wheezing
Y  Yet as youthful as I would be
Z Zipped to zoo where animals love me.

Jim Horn

Let me see one of your alphabet poems.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Makes My Day Perfect Iambic Horn Limerick

Makes My Day 
(Perfect Iambic Horn Limerick)

I have heard what will make my day;
When God lets me have my own way;
Count many sheep;
Then go to sleep;
While in heaven with Him will stay.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Church Building Be Rid Of

Church Be Rid Of

They died and went to heaven above;
Where each one can enjoy God's love;
Was such a scare;
Bullets everywhere;
Church decided to destroy and are rid of.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Bathtub of Trump

Bathtub of Trump

Bathtub of Trump's did have dirty scum;
Did not clean like someone who is dumb;
Was an old fart,
Having no heart;
Someday soon wish he would succumb.

Jim Horn

We have a Grand Strand in Myrtle Beach, SC
just south of us here in Bolivia, SC

My poetry performance is glorious and grand,
And has been catching up with Brian Strand;
Do duty diligent,
With your consent;
Soon should become leader of poetry band.

He has turned off his commentsI do not have
anything to worry aboutI hardly ever receive
any at all.

Jim Horn

“It’s the poet’s job to figure out what’s happening within oneself, to figure out the connection between the self and the world, and to get it down in words that have a certain shape, that have a chance of lasting.” —Galway Kinnell 

At first, my each poem can be confined;
Then came automatically out my mind;
One must read,
That you need,
And a desire to write poem you did find.

I really am so busy writing poems that
I hardly have any time to read those of
othersLook at it this way

I will listen to my TV everyday,
To hear what they have to say;
Expound upon,
Until all gone;
On your mind my poem did play.

Jim Horn

For God am on a constant quest;
He is one this earth has blessed;
Here temporary;
To heaven carry;
Anywhere on earth will be best.

Jim Horn

Could Be Class Action

In part of a second being a fraction,
The following has been my reaction;
Advantage did take;
Made a big mistake;
Females should start a class action.

Jim Horn

Still over daily limit of tenOh, well.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: bereavement, sad,

What Is It

What Is It

What is it that goes through your mind
When your father you cannot find
Has been declared missing in action (MIA)
From this receive no satisfaction
With God in heaven was wined and dined.

James Horn

His body was missing 23 days at sea and 
was recognized by laundry markingsIt 
was re-buried at sea off of SicilyYou
will always wonder what happened
Autopsy showed that he had a broken 
neck and hip from hitting the water.
Intrepid is now in New York harbor
They had a town hall regarding
security between Hillary and Trump
recently on it.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Want Me For

Want Me For

What would God really want me for
Having a Son who He does adore,
And of such a sinful nature I am
Have become down to last gram;
Imagine me in heaven forever more.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Half Octavius Horn Limerick Page

Half Octavius Horn Limerick Page

When properly estimated goals are elevated,
And we either waited of have hesitated;
Thought for a while;
Then we did compile
Our ambition and effort which were related.

Looked all over the place as well as around,
Until my fine future I had finally found;
Had fun a lot,
Until was caught;
To find out in heaven God is also bound.

Almost one hundred months Obama did last,
Before he finally had landed at his last;
He would budge,
When wife did nudge;
A bright future for him by God was forecast.

When you are stabilized and well situated,
Things are easier on that can be concentrated;
Natural things come,
And no longer dumb;
Even when growing old and birthday celebrated.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy, humorous,

Have Lost Track

Have Lost Track

I have written so many poems
that I am losing track of all of 

Detected Southern Accent

People in South whole life spent,
So they could have a Southern accent;
Found in food,
And a family feud;
Died and with them to heaven it went.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet