Limerick Poems About Boyfriends | Boyfriend Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

DO YOU FANCY A ROLL

A pretty young lass from Dover Just loved to get her leg over A quick roll in the hay Any time night or day Her boyfriend is in spring clover 02~28~ 2015 checked with how many syllables 8 8 6 6 8 Contest: Spring forward - Debbie Guzzi ~awarded 6th place~


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humorous,

Mary Ann's Age-Old Excuse

Mary Ann had a boyfriend that she 
gave affection and great loyalty.
Since the age of sixteen
no one else had she seen
but she wanted more at thirty-three!

Her boyfriend, of course, had it made
since regularly, he would get laid.
So excuses he gave
when Mary Ann would rave
about marriageand  unwed they stayed.

Getting pregnant was her coup d'etat 
when she said, “You will soon be a pa!”
She said, “Furthermore, Bruce,
I don’t need an excuse.
In my mind we’re a pair - common-law!”


For Black Eyed Susan's Excuses Poetry Contest


Poem Details | by Alan Draeger |
Categories: humor,

The Mermaid

A mermaid who was German
Made out with her boyfriend Herman
When they got past kissing
She found something missing
No wonder : he was a merman


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, food, humorous,

PAIN IN THE BUTT

I visited Doctor Longdong Told doc something’s terribly wrong The pain in my hip Is giving me gyp He said it was caused by my thong! I admit I’ve put on some weight Can’t resist cream cakes on my plate My ‘EX’ boyfriend was rude … So I’m in a bad mood Oh stuff it ….the diet can wait! 11~08~16


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: for children, humorous, boy,

Flirting Boyfriend

Giggling Girty became quite shirty
When her boyfriend was acting flirty,
With a handful of mud 
Delivered with an awful thud
Her boyfriend is now dizzy and dirty.


Poem Details | by Tom Wright |
Categories: boyfriend, girlfriend,

Cooter

“Cooter” By Tom Wright There once was a blonde bar room shooter, Who would travel around town on a scooter? She was real slick, At chalking a stick, But she couldn’t best her boyfriend “Cooter”.


Poem Details | by Quentin Ehlinger |
Categories: humorous,

Cheryl

There once was a girl named Cheryl
Who always seemed in deep peril
She would call out a lot
Till what she wanted she got
And her boyfriend ended up sterile


Poem Details | by lola barron |
Categories: humorous, valentines day, valentines

Plenty more fish

This Valentine's Day I shall send
To my boyfriend so not to offend.
Even though I am fond,
If he does not respond,
No worriesHe's got a best friend.


Poem Details | by Theresa CW |
Categories: fun, humor,

There's A Party

There's A Party


Look dude, there's a party here pair
Addresses with each boyfriends hair
folks are a bit wary
when who enters Sherry
with boyfriend who's bald name is Blair


Written: Jan1, 2016
Theresa


Poem Details | by Robert A. Dufresne |
Categories: funnyname, name,

Nefarious Romance

Her name was Liza Jane Macnelly,
She loved Anchovies and jelly,
“She’s a wonderful girl,
said her boyfriend Earl,
But her breath is a little bit smelly”.

His name was Billy Joe Trevy,
He had no A/C in his Chevy,
“It’s  such a nefarious pain” ,
said his girlfriend Jane, 
Because he perspires a bit too heavy”.

But they both loved each other so well,
That they accepted each other’s smell,
The moral of the story here?
There is none, I fear.
They just simply …smell like hell !


Poem Details | by Joseph May |
Categories: funny,

Sue

there once was a gal named Sue
her boyfriend loved wearing  suede shoes
they had a big fight one day
and needless to say
Sue threw his suede shoes away
they made up  thereafter
that was a disaster
he tried to get violent with Sue
that was a mistake
his arm she did break
and now the poor guy's black and blue


Poem Details | by madison hinton |
Categories: for children

lucy

i have a friend named lucy,
she likes food thats juicy.
      she has a boyfriend named sam,
      he really likes jam.
and she calls her pet moosy.


Poem Details | by Jerome Malenfant |
Categories: humorous,

A bright young fellow named Ernest

A bright young fellow named Ernest
Went to med school to be an internist.
  But the sight of insides
  Gave him really bad vibes,
So he took up accounting in earnest.

A shifty young lawyer named Stan
Came up with a devious plan
   To avoid paying taxes
   Through complex finances,
But was told that his plan wouldn't stand.

A beginner in fencing named Perry
Was finding that swordplay was scary.
   "Not to belabor
    But it's defective, my saber!
It thrusts but refuses to parry!"

An anemic young lady named Madeline 
Became increasingly maudlin
   When she came to discover
   That her boyfriend and lover  
Would sleep all day in his coffin.

A lady tourist named Lisa
Fell from the Tower of Pisa.
   On the way down
   She thought thoughts profound
And remembered to renew her visa.

A deadbeat gambler named Owen
Ran into the guys he was owing
   Who, with style and with ease,
   Broke both his knees,
After asking him, "Hey, how's it going?"

A big rock-and-roll star once was Ben,
But now just a 90's has-been.
   The girls and their aunties 
   Would throw him their panties,
But now no more groupies has Ben.


("What's in a name" contest entry)


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, relationship,

BAWDY LIMERICK WHAT A WHOPPER - GOTD AWARD

Sue had a new boyfriend called Billy Who had a gargantuan willy To Sue’s great delight It stayed up all night … And Sue was a game little filly! FOR GIGGLE OF THE DAY CHALLENGE 11~27~16


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny, humorous,

Too Much Talka

A young girl from Verona,
Talked all day on the phona,
Her boyfriend in Spain
Developed ear pain,
So he hung up to be alona.


Poem Details | by Sherri Whiteford |
Categories: fun, humor,

A Buffoon Of A Tune

A Buffoon Of A Tune

My boyfriend looks like a buffoon
He thought he could sing a great tune
Couldn't hold a note
Was holding a tote
Instead he flew right to the moon.

Written: Jan1, 2016
Sherri White


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

FAKE BOOBIES

Poor Penny was very depressed She’d flat boobies under her vest But with plastic implants They were truly enhanced Her boyfriend was VERY impressed! 09~12~16


Poem Details | by D. C. Jordan |
Categories: boyfriend, feelings, humor, mother

Girl From Wheeling

There was a young lady from Wheeling
West Virginia, that is
Who had a peculiar feeling that
Her boyfriend Jack was cheating

She took it to his Mom
“Mom” she said, “your son Jack
Is really pissing me off 
I'm ready to hit the ceiling.”

“Ya know,” Mom said, “You crack me up.
I'm tickled he goes to your head
He irritates me the same way about you
So I tell him to stay unwed.”

So Mom was the other woman
The young lady from Wheeling suspected
So she lay on her back and considered Mom amd Jack
“I would like to see them dissected!”


Poem Details | by stephen pennell |
Categories: fun,

Laughter is the best medicine

Not today dear

There once was a woman called Nellie
Who's boyfriend  got down on one knee
he asked her to marry
Im in no great hurry 
As Im waiting for rich man called neil   


comp entry 14/10


Poem Details | by Marti Sutherland |
Categories: silly,

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

There's Just One Thing My boyfriend was proposing on one knee but it became a huge catastrophe while offering the ring he said, "There's just one thing, Promise you'll never call my 'friend', Pee Wee." Laughter is the Best Medicine Contest Sponsor: Jan Allison October 13, 2016


Poem Details | by Janice Canerdy |
Categories: anger, humor, mother son,

Take Your BAGGAGE and Leave


	

		When I had a boyfriend named Billy,
		our budding romance soon turned chilly.
		What caused lots of drama?
		He often brought Mama.
		That snob made me feel fat and silly.

                She hinted that I should be fitter.
		Her insults made me feel so bitter.
		She made small “suggestions”
		and asked nosey questions.
		Lord help me! I wanted to hit ‘er.

		She sneered because I don’t wear Prada.
		Nice comments about me were NADA.
		I told Mama's baby,
		“Go! I don't mean maybe.
		Take Mommy and go home to Dada.”


FICTION

April 2, 2017


Poem Details | by Richard Olson |
Categories: humor,

The Clown and the Bimbo

There was a well-endowed mime named Carol.
Whose boyfriend she knew to be sterile.
For the circus he clowned,
for Carol he'd pound,
with pregnancy never a peril.

Forces pushed Carol around.
Invisible to sight, and to sound.
As the clown thought twice,
of a piece and a slice,
till his seltzer he shot to the ground.

They made an unusual pair.
The talk of the town at each fair.
She pushed against walls,
as he juggled his balls,
and the little children would stare.

Fairgoers soon noticed a glow.
From the mime who started to show.
The clown wondered what,
had noticed her butt,
and caused her stomach to grow.

What Carol had done was obscene,
and decided she'd better come clean.
She set her clown down,
made her first sound,
and watched as her man turned green.

"I never had that much to say.
 And my body kept no man at bay.
 So I thought I'd just toy, 
 with every cute boy,
 and let them all have their way."

The clown was so mad he turned red.
As red as the wig on his head.
"I may be a clown,"
he said with a frown,
"but I'm nothing to laugh at in bed!"

Now Carol just started to cry.
So the clown hit her face with a pie.
The whip cream just glistened.
And no one has listened.
To the mime when she tries to tell why.

     Written:  12/27/16