In our heads the season was far from over
so we played a game in late September.
He said, "before the sun sets
can we not take a rest?"
"But we already are, this is baseball remember?"
God said, " Baseball between us sounds swell"!
Satan replied, "Your team, just will not, do well"!
"I know Mantle and Ruth play for you
but there ain't a whole lot, they can do
cause the Umpires, are all down here, in Hell"!
I knew a man with a sailors hat
Fat and chubby, smelled like a rat
kissed him out of stupidity,
now he's down on one knee,
Somebody give me a baseball bat!
We're glad the baseball season is over.
For Mariner fans, no fields of clover.
Won half as many as we lost.
Tickets too high at half the cost.
Next season look for a big makeover.
For Linda-Marie's Sport Limerick contest won #4
I always wanted to be a baseball player for the New York Mets
But I never wanted to try my best so I just looked like a hopeless stem
One day I'll show them all
I'ma be the only one standing tall
As for the dreams that can be obtained right now, I'm going full force at them.
In the land of fairies and gnomes
Was a gnome often seen on the phone
An up to date fairy
With armpits quite hairy
Like all baseball players was spit prone
© Jack Ellison 2015
It's been a long season,
With Vict'ry our reason.
Cub's baseball is always a joke.
We just needed four,
Though we wanted more,
Our victory's near we had spoke.
A billy goat ban,
Then Bartman the fan
They're reasons we like to evoke.
They may well have been,
And might come again
But the Cubs see the big one and choke.
A baseball fanatic, I am, I am
Blue Jays are in flight, holy hot damn
Bautista and crew
The ball they tattoo
Winners down to the very last man
© Jack Ellison 2015
Can't wait for baseball to start up again
The Blue Jays are favoured to clean up AMEN
They're certainly due
Since nineteen ninety-two
Our tongues hang out while cheering for them
© Jack Ellison 2016
As a child I awoke from my slumber
I arose from the couch to grab a cucumber
Santa was eating my cookies.
Like a baseball rookie.
I threw the cucumber and Santa fell like lumber!
Santa returned the following year.
No presents for me was my biggest fear.
I hid behind the couch.
I heard Santa say "ouch."
He slipped on my marbles and fell on his rear!
The following Christmas was a surprise to me.
I fell asleep curled up under the tree
Santa woke me with a smile
He said, "It's been awhile."
Then dumped Rudolph's dung on me!
Have any of you ladies been hit with a lob
From a baseball right in your “mossy bob”
As a male I cringe
I feel a twinge
Remembering some groin hits, I still start to sob
Now picture this little scene if you can
On our wedding night, a little humour I had planned
Came into the room looking svelte
In only a baseball cap and a belt
It sure broke the ice and the night turned out grand