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'yeuk' Updated - Updated Collaboration With Jan Allison

(What Susie Did) My sister Susie loved picking her nose To her chagrin her little finger froze It was stuck so far Doc used a crowbar Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose! Our Mother, in a fit of Pique At Susie's antics with her Beak Said, "Right my girl" And in a whirl Grounded Susie for a Week Resenting her fate, in bed Rebellion sparked inside her head When all were asleep She'd dress and creep Though the window and escape instead A branch near her window hung Which to its foliage she clung The branch was weak And with a shriek She fell into a pile of Dung The house woke up only to find Poor Susie in a dreadful Bind She looked quite a mess In her state of distress That our Mother went out of her mind "A School for young Ladies, I'll choose" One, her wildness, I hope will defuse And instil, at a pace, Deportment and Grace To refine the coarse ways of our Suz' Packed off to be 'Finished' she went Determined to never repent Despite all opinions It's just like 'St Trinians' And for Susie, was quite an event Susie boarded at ‘Saint Eloise’ It was there she got covered in fleas Once she dived in a ditch To be rid of that itch Oh, you should see the state of her knees! When in the first deportment class Poor Susie fell straight on her ‘ass’ When she exposed her behind The other girls were unkind So Susie began passing gas They had to open the windows and doors Crawl about and move on all fours To get rid of the smell That came straight from hell Staff told ‘Susie’ no more encores! Her Classmates all thought it a Hoot When she lit the gas that she'd shoot She then vented a Storm That Blew up her Dorm Which got our poor Susie the Boot She believed she should never have gone From the ones she depended upon With her Mission, complete (And a Cork placed, discreet) Susie's Home where she'll always belong. (Collaboration with Jan Allison)