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What's In a Name - a Bawdy Poem For My Aunt's 90th Birthday

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This 90th birthday poem is for my Aunt Jean Bates – she was in fits of laughter when I recited it on the phone for her today. My Aunt and her brother (who is 99) both used to write poetry and many naughty limericks so I guess it is in my genes A schoolboy whose surname is Bates Got terribly teased by his mates He is MISTER not Master – (That would be a disaster) His surname he now really hates! True Story … When I was on the phone my aunt told me of a coach trip she took with her husband and son – the tour leader was reading out the names of the passengers … Mr and Mrs Smith and Master Smith, Mr and Mrs Jones and Master Jones …. My aunt was mortified when they got to their surname and it was Mr and Mrs Bates and Master Bates – why couldn’t they call him Mister! 08-06-17

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Jack Ellison

Date: 8/8/2017 12:25:00 PM

Wish I could had known her... my kind of sweetie!!! Love, Jackson xxx

Jan Allison
Date: 8/9/2017 8:51:00 AM

She's awesome Jack has a great sense of humour and I reckon poetry must be in my genes it just took my hubbies cancer to get me to pick up my pen and let the poop flow lol:-) hugs jan xx

Pashang Salehi

Date: 8/7/2017 9:01:00 PM

My dear Jan, you do have a magnificent sense of humor ..... Happy birthday to your aunt...

Jan Allison
Date: 8/8/2017 3:41:00 AM

Aww thanks Pashang... not everyone appreciates my style/humour so thank you for your lovely comment:-) hugs jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 8/7/2017 1:46:00 PM

Funny!! Belated happy returns to your aunt, Jan! Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 8/7/2017 4:06:00 PM

Thanks Paul:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/6/2017 7:17:00 PM

tell your aunt happy birthday for me!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 7:28:00 PM

I will do thanks:-) hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/6/2017 7:16:00 PM

Yes, I have heard this joke before and it's so funny. WHy would people say Master instead of Mister? Good one, Jan.Soupmail.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 7:27:00 PM

Thanks Andrea my aunt loved the poem, she has a great sense of humour and said 'I had a naughty sense of humour' as I'd sent her a couple of my longer silly poems for her to read:-) hugs jan xx

Ralph Sergi

Date: 8/6/2017 6:27:00 PM

Hi Jan : I think it's incredible that at that age they still can appreciate a good laugh Great Write!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 6:30:00 PM

My aunt has a wicked sense of humour I sent her 2 of my longer poems which she thought were hilarious and e are convinced the poetry is in our genes, it just took my husband's cancer to get me starting writing:-) hugs Jan xx

Rohini Balram

Date: 8/6/2017 5:40:00 PM

Love the humor. It's Monday morning in Fiji; not the easiest of days but this is a wonderful read to kick start my day/week. Thank you.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 5:52:00 PM

Thanks so much Rohini it's still Sunday evening here but almost midnight:-) hugs jan xx

Matthew Anish

Date: 8/6/2017 4:01:00 PM

Does this refer to the Bates motel?? It is kind of dark, We need more limericks in the world! Thanks fro t info on my typo. I corrected it - they are so easy to make. I have a poem coming in the NY Times tomorrow!! Peace & Love Matthew

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 4:04:00 PM

oh wow Matthew congrats on your publication that is brilliant news. There's no connection to the bates motel its just based on my aunt's surname:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 8/6/2017 3:19:00 PM

this is too too funny, jan! knowing that it's based on a true story makes it even more hilarious...

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 3:24:00 PM

I wrote the poem several weeks ago and recited it on the phone and then my aunt told me the coach story - makes me pleased my name isn't too unusual but my maiden name began with z and that was a real pain but at least it wasn't Bates lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Dale Gregory Cozart

Date: 8/6/2017 2:39:00 PM

HILARIOUS!!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 3:14:00 PM

Dale maybe you can explain it to Tim lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 8/6/2017 10:26:00 AM

Hmm...I don't get it : )

Dale Gregory Cozart
Date: 8/6/2017 2:40:00 PM

Yeah, Tim, Me neither.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 10:28:00 AM

ha ha ha:-) hugs jan xx

Eileen Manassian

Date: 8/6/2017 9:39:00 AM

OH DEAR! Jan Jan...what will we do with you. Master Bates, eh? Well, that will bring a chuckle, as did you limerick. One of the founding father's of my faith group was a Joseph Bates, whom they would call...YOU GOT IT! ;)

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 9:55:00 AM

ha ha ha Eileen I guess if you have to live with a surname like bates you get used to the jokes. I couldn't resist telling my aunt the limerick on the phone and she was laughing so much. i also sent her a couple of my poems in her card and she thought they were hilarious and said i had the same naughty mind as she has lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lim'Rik Flats

Date: 8/6/2017 8:36:00 AM

I'm surprised Master Bates had any offspring... Happy birthday to the clan and hooray for longevity in the genes of the pooparazahoonie! Hugaflitches ~ j

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 8:37:00 AM

Yes he has a son and daughter lol:-) hugs jan xx

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 8/6/2017 8:24:00 AM

Giggles galore! Hugs too! xomo :)

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 8:35:00 AM

Cheer Maureen my aunt has an incredible sense of humour, is a member of Mensa and used to write very humourous poetry:-) hugs jan xx

Mike Gentile

Date: 8/6/2017 7:55:00 AM

This was cute, Jan, I enjoyed it.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 8:16:00 AM

Cheers Mike I do feel sorry for anyone with a surname like that - we have friend's with the surname Moron (his wife kept her maiden name) and another one was Looney and she took her husbands name so she is no longer a Looney lol:-) hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 8/6/2017 7:53:00 AM

- You have it in your blood, Jan :))) - 90, 99 and 111 ... WOW ... strong genes - You have to beat that record, Jan :))) - GREAT !!! - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Anne-Lise Andresen
Date: 8/6/2017 11:51:00 AM

:)))

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 8:15:00 AM

I guess it depends on your quality of life Anne Lise but i intend to be around as long as possible and make use of my lifetime PM I am worried as it runs out 20th march 2077 ... I hope TPS aren't predicting my demise lol:-) hugs jan xx

Russell Sivey

Date: 8/6/2017 7:32:00 AM

This is such a fun limerick my friend! Happy Birthday to your Aunt! Wow 90! My great grandfather lived til he was 101, maybe she can break that age! I thought your poem was awesome Jan! What a lovely tribute to your Aunt! Great Work!!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 7:43:00 AM

There is longevity on mum's side of the family ... her great great aunt lived to 111 and 121 days and was in the Guinness Book of Records:-) hugs Jan xx

Niall Fulham

Date: 8/6/2017 7:24:00 AM

Hi Jan , happy birthday to your Aunt and her brother 99 wow , hope they have many more , brilliant Limerick Jan ::))) hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 8/6/2017 7:42:00 AM

Thanks Niall:-) hugs jan xx