Lady De Leisure

There once lived a woman called Lady-de Leisure, who turned not to men, but food for pleasure. She ate everything spicy and sticky and sweet, the poor lady could not even see her poor feet. From dusk until dawn, all she would do was eat, drink, break wind, burp belch and poo. But one day whilst eating her thirty fifth pie, the lady burped loudly, keeled over and died. The funeral had to be held outside, but people they came to say goodbye. The coffin itself, you’ve never seen bigger. The bearers were three forklift trucks and a digger. The hole in the ground was fourteen feet wide, and even then the coffin scraped at the sides. So if you are thinking about being a lady of leisure, look elsewhere than food solely for pleasure.