Elaine's Limerick

ELAINE’S LIMMERICK Let me tell you of my sister-in-law Elaine Whose breasts drive most males insane With her size double D’s They bring men to their knees Her name’s in the breast hall of fame She says being big busted like me Is not all it’s cracked up to be She says in frustration Try and hold a conversation When there’s only two things a guy sees But although she is much well endowed Of her breasts she is so very proud She tailors them cute In their double D suits To make them stand out in a crowd Her breasts they are not a disgrace Even though they won’t stay in one place They wiggle they wobble And sometimes they gobble And unsaddled they fall to her waist Recalling her lactating years Monstrous they brought her to tears Like torpedoes they fell To her lap they did swell Her son cried, “Mom I can't nurse from down here!” When her milk came she thought she’d implode Then like volcanoes they both would explode She’d bind them real tight They put up quite a fight Till she cried, “No more can I carry this load” At the lake when she jumps off the boat A life vest she’s no need to tote For she bobs up and down Impossible to drown Like buoys they keep her afloat To enlarge them women pay a big fee To, say a thirty-six C, D or E But hers are quite natural She can use them as collateral And they didn’t even cost her a penny She has memories of breasts standing high Neither one was the least bit shy But gravity has taken its tow For they now sit quite low But with underwire she can make them look spry They're so big that to some they look wrong But she can bounce them to the beat of a song They're no longer high and round They're like two sagging mounds Because she's now a size Double D long