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Cutie Patootie Bawdy Limerick

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Pat swung from a chandelier Fell off and hurt her cute rear She gave it a rub And soaked in the tub Next time she’ll stay off the beer! Pat copied the birds and the bees And had carpet burns on her knees She saw her GP He said ‘Oh dear me’ - Next time settle for a quick squeeze But Pat said I’m always so randy And so is my boyfriend called Sandy If he can’t have a lay At least three times a day He’ll leave me for that old moo Mandy 'for Pat' with my love xx 05~03~17

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Joseph Soper

Date: 5/16/2017 10:13:00 PM

Very funny Jan... Loved it...

Jack Horne

Date: 5/12/2017 4:12:00 PM

LOL, had a good chuckle here too

Robert Johnson

Date: 5/7/2017 10:20:00 PM

I love that term, old moo. :) Great job doing a multi stanza limy.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 1:38:00 PM

Old moo was apt I originally has slapper but changed it lol :-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 5/5/2017 8:27:00 PM

Keep at it, Jan. I especially liked that last one. The old moo. haha!! Hope to hear from you soon. Sorry I've been so busy these days. CAn't even keep up and going off again right now. Later, Gator!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 1:39:00 PM

I had fun here and 'pat' was delighted I've posted them I wrote another string of limericks called hear my voice I may post them one day:-) hugs Jan xx

Niall Fulham

Date: 5/5/2017 10:20:00 AM

Hi Jan , Hilarious Limerick has me laughing :)) HUGS

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 1:40:00 PM

Thanks niall:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 5/5/2017 4:30:00 AM

Lol! Jan, All three limericks were hilarious. You are a "master" at writing limericks and poop! I agree with Rick it's too bad you can't enter your on contest. This would be a winner for sure. :-) Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 1:41:00 PM

Aww thanks Alexis all I do is try to make folks smile:-) hugs Jan xx

Roy Pett

Date: 5/5/2017 4:25:00 AM

Brilliant Jan, if I need cheering up I know I can turn to your page and all my woes disappear thank you and your friend Pat very much, this will make me smile all day. :))

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 1:37:00 PM

Cheers Roy I love to write humour but can turn my hand to the odd more serious poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Leo Larry Amadore

Date: 5/4/2017 2:36:00 PM

Giggles and smiles, Jan...very entertaining.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2017 4:51:00 PM

Thanks Leo:-) hugs Jan xx

John Michaels

Date: 5/4/2017 2:30:00 PM

Jan, this is absolutely hilarious!! I'd go so far as to say it's one of your finest!! Going straight on my favourites so I can find it quickly when I need a belly laugh!! Shame I can't give it an "8"!! Best regards, John!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2017 4:51:00 PM

aww thanks John :-) your comment has made my day:-) Not everyone appreciates my style or humour I try to make folks smile and forget their worries for a while:-) hugs Jan xx

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 5/4/2017 5:59:00 AM

Absolutely marvelously funny and so witty! A 7 dear, Jan! Hugs xx

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2017 6:08:00 AM

Thanks Demetrios:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 5/3/2017 10:51:00 PM

Hilarious, especially the last line!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2017 3:50:00 AM

LOL I did originally use slapper for that line lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 5/3/2017 6:12:00 PM

What a hoot Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 5/3/2017 6:17:00 PM

It's really made me smile Tim I write a poem with no mention of the P word and I get 2 comments about the lack of poop lol:-) hugs jan xx

Eye Truth-Teller

Date: 5/3/2017 2:56:00 PM

haha poet

Jan Allison
Date: 5/3/2017 3:43:00 PM

Thanks you:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 5/3/2017 2:55:00 PM

- Ha ha ha, this is just a funny "gimmick" ... she's serious, crazy and funny :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/3/2017 3:42:00 PM

'Pat' is an on line friend and has a wicked sense of humour - she said something for fun and i wrote these poems for fun:-) hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith

Date: 5/3/2017 2:40:00 PM

"Where's The Poop"? Funny all the same, thanks Jan, you never fail to lighten the day...

Jan Allison
Date: 5/3/2017 3:40:00 PM

I can manage to write the odd poem not mentioning the P word lol:-) hugs jan xx

Chris Green

Date: 5/3/2017 1:10:00 PM

Ha ha ha Jan. Definitely bawdy and crazy funny. You are so good at these and wait...not one poop mention in the entire poem. I am so proud of you. :)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/3/2017 3:38:00 PM

ha ha ha Chris I am sure folks think I sit on the loo all day and write my poop and surprisingly I CAN write the odd serious poem and shock horror one that doesn't mention poop. I wear my rhinestone crown from Flo and sit on the throne lol:-) hugs Jan xx

White Wolf

Date: 5/3/2017 12:13:00 PM

Haha, pity you can't enter your own contest! Loved all three, Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/3/2017 12:22:00 PM

I wrote this for an on-line friend called 'pat' and have her permission to post them - she is a great sport:-) hugs Jan xx