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I had an old auntie called Mable
Who could drink men under the table
She’d tell folks of her gout
Sup up six pints of stout -
then stagger to the loo when able!
11~23~16
WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON
My paternal aunt whose name was Mable
Drank so much that she slept in the stable
Her best bud was a horse
It's why she got her divorce
Her spouse was gone with the wind like Gable
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
Her pearl necklace made a clunk
When in her glass a bead did dunk
She pulled it out
And drank her stout
Then laughed thinking her necklace might be drunk
WRITTEN BY CHRIS GREEN
He denies his delivery by stork
Still eats his soup with his fork
but in the loo
when dinner is through
screams loudly for his buddy "O'Rourke"
WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS
I remember your auntie quite well
I met her down at the well
she threw me in
made my head spin
or was it the stout I can’t tell?
Mable can sop up the suds
the boys at the bar are her buds
shouting with cheer
beer after beer
sounding the floor with their thuds
Mable did not cry in her beer
She would shout loud in your ear
bursting of fable
her fame would enable
tales to bring lushes to tears
Mable once sloshed to the loo
well intent on loosing a poo
a lowly spittoon
became a lagoon
her urge to purge was now through
Sing a song of six pints, each of stoutest ale
thus the queen of giggles, spins another tale
about her next of kin
who sports a raucous grin
What is Mable’s encore? Drinking from a pail!
ALL WRITTEN BY LIM'RICK FLATS (JOHN WULF)
All knew my good uncle Aristotle
Who always carried a whisky bottle
Each step he took had a sip
That's why was mostly asleep
Till drunk was he found holding a pottle!
WRITTEN BY DEMETRIOS TRIFIATIS
The reason that Mable was laughing
Was because of the man photographing.
He was standing there nude,
so she asked as she viewed,
"What is that infection your staffing?"
WRITTEN BY RICHARD OLSON
Mabel had a pint with her bagel
Every morn at the kitchen table
Her navel would be bare
Covered by sable fur hair
Poor gal stumbled into the stable
WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER
Come here laddie and have you a taste
Don't let this magic go off to waste
Suck her on down
Smother that frown
Soon Mable's troubles will be erased
WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH
Mable downed four pints of ale
Then found herself in the town jail
Down the road she did run
Streaking naked just for fun
Please close your eyes, and go pay her bail
WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER
Mabel was pretty easily amused,
replacing the beer with 100% prune juice,
at her party,
friends acting farty,
her bathroom having a very long queue
WRITTEN BY CHERYL HOFFMAN
Mable was oft on the nightly news
For drunk acts in the bars she would cruise.
Some would certainly mind
Views of their own drunk blind
But Mable just hid her toilet bruise
WRITTEN BY CAYCAY JENNINGS
There's a rumor I had to ignore
That Aunt Mabel didn't drink any more
But it was my guess
That she didn't drink less
As another Guinness she'd pour!
WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY
Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2016
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